by Ciara Graves
He was at the door when a sudden rush of emptiness and regret slammed into me. He was the only family I had left. The only connection to my parents. I did not want to lose him because of my anger.
“Damian, wait.” I rushed to him and hugged him.
He held me, just like a dad would hold his kid, and sighed.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his shoulder. “I just… I’m so angry lately, and I can’t sleep… I…” I bit the inside of my cheek, mentally yelling at myself. I’d almost said it, almost confessed to what I’d done to Todd.
“Mercy?” He leaned back so he could see my face.
After a deep breath to steady myself, I said, “It’s a lot to take in, and I feel like all these years, I’ve been helpless to do anything about their deaths. Now that I know what really happened, I can do something about it.”
“It’s too dangerous,” he argued.
I opened my mouth.
He scowled at me. “I promised you if I heard news on Shuval or her mages, I would tell you. There’s been nothing so far.”
“But—”
“No buts. I swore to your parents I would keep you safe. Dragging you into this fight when you’re clearly not in the right mindset is asking for trouble.”
“I can handle myself.”
“With bounties, yes you can. But these hybrids,” he said quietly, eyes not seeing me or my apartment anymore. It was like he was elsewhere. “They’re powerful. Strong. Even stronger than you. If your power hadn’t reacted that night with Liam, you’d be dead. If, and only if, the fight comes to us, will I let you get involved.” He gave me another quick hug. “Focus on your job. Try not to wallow in the past.”
Then he was gone.
Out of habit, I locked the door behind him, kicked out of my boots, and trudged into my bathroom to take a quick shower. When I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself, I swiped my hand down the fogged-up mirror, then jumped.
Todd’s silhouette stood directly behind me.
“He’s right you know,” he said.
I froze, eyes widening in surprise.
“What? You thought I was just in your head?”
“No,” I whispered, spinning around, but the bathroom was empty… until I looked back in the mirror again. “Go away. You’re not really here.”
“Aren’t I?”
“You’re not,” I said loudly.
I dried off as fast as I could then left the bathroom to find shorts and a tank to sleep in.
I slid under the covers, surveilling the apartment, but Todd never made another appearance.
“All in my head. Just all in my head.”
“Yeah, not even close.”
I screamed at the sound of his voice in my ear and whipped around.
He was lounging on my bed with a smirk.
“You… are you haunting me?” I accused.
He shrugged, sat up, and walked toward me. Well, more like floated toward me. “You tell me.”
“This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening,” I whispered in a panic, holding my head. “You’re not here. You’re not here.”
“Now you sound like one of those crazed humans.”
“Shut up.” I chucked a throw pillow at him.
It sailed right through his body.
“Why should I?” He stretched his arms over his head, looking around my place. “Fancy digs you got here. Almost better than mine.”
He moved around my apartment, commenting about my lack of décor but approving of my weapons on the wall near the bed.
“You’re seriously haunting me,” I murmured.
He turned around with a grin. “Ding ding ding! We have a winner!”
I groaned, sinking to the floor right where I stood.
A ghost.
I’d killed Todd, and the bastard decided to come back as a damned ghost. Granted, if I hadn’t killed him, there was a fair chance he would’ve killed me, but his death was far from honorable in my book. Why could nothing in my life be simple?
“You’re going to drive me insane now? Is that your plan? You’re pissed because I killed you and now I get to deal with your spirit for the rest of my life?”
He wobbled his hand back and forth. “Yes and no.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, am I pissed I’m dead? Yes, sure. Everyone is,” he said, waving his hand. “But that’s beside the point. The point is, you got the drop on me. No one’s ever done that before. Ever. Despite the fact that I’m dead, I’m impressed.”
“So you’re going to help me?” I asked slowly, wondering if this was all some messed up dream after all.
“Ha, no. I do plan on driving you a little crazy. Penance and all that for killing me.” He was gone in a blink then appeared right beside me on the floor.
I flinched.
“However, that said, these hybrids you and the demon were talking about, I want them dead.”
“Why?” I asked, surprised.
“I have my reasons,” he said, eyes glowing white for a brief second. “I’m sticking with you until you kill them. Oh, and I think I’m going to enjoy watching your descent into madness. You’re not a killer, Mercy, and yet you thought you could off me like that without any repercussions.”
I got up abruptly and grabbed my cell, ready to call Gigi and tell her I needed a cleanse to my apartment.
Todd appeared in front of me, ticking his finger back and forth.
“What?”
“You do that you’ll have to admit who I am… or I’ll just tell her myself.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Oh, I would. Imagine the horrified look on your friend’s face when she finds out we had a deal to have a fair fight and you shot me in the head instead.” He formed his hand into a gun and placed his finger to my forehead, leaving a cold spot.
“Bang!” he shouted.
I jumped.
His cackle echoed eerily around me as he faded into nothing.
“I’ll be around making sure you don’t forget.”
Unwilling to go back to bed in case Todd made another appearance, I settled in on the couch, tugging the quilt down to keep me warm.
I fell asleep as the sun was coming up, cell phone clutched in my hand, torn between Todd being a real ghost or some freaking hallucination conjured by my guilt-ridden mind.
But there was no one I could turn to for this. Oh, no. This problem I would have to deal with on my own and hope it didn’t drive me crazy in the process.
Chapter 2
Rafael
“Rafael! Help!”
I ran and ran, but I could never reach him. I yelled his name, waiting for him to respond again, but there was only an eerie silence. My calves burned, and my side screamed with pain, but I had to find him, had to save him! He would not end up like all the others. I swore to keep him alive—
“Rafael!”
“Antonio!” I yelled back, heart pounding in fear when I heard my younger brother cry out in pain. “No! Let him go! Get away from him!”
A fist came out of nowhere and smashed into my face. Hands grabbed me, stopping me from getting any further. Suddenly the scene shifted, and I was in a large domed room, forced to my knees by the five mages surrounding me. I strained to get out of their grasp, but they blocked me from pulling on my demon rage.
I was helpless as my brother, tears streaming down his cheeks, was dragged into the room by two mages.
The man robed in gold and red stepped down from his chair. He placed a hand on my brother’s head as if to soothe him. The two mages released him and the only thing holding my brother up was that mage.
“This could have gone so different, Rafael,” the mage sighed. “So very different.”
“Please,” I begged, throat raw from yelling so much. “Please don’t hurt him.”
“Rafael,” Antonio whispered, fearful. “Raf.”
“Hold on,” I promised my brother. “I won’t do it again, I swear it. Just
let him go, please. Hurt me. You can hurt me.”
“But then how will you learn?” The mage’s hand began to glow.
I bellowed in rage, failing to break free. There was a bright flash of gold and white light—
I shot up in bed, drenched in sweat, my brother’s dying screams echoed in my ears.
Hands shaking, I held my face in my palms, waiting for the last remnants of the nightmare to fade away. If only that was all it was. A nightmare. Rather than the glimmer of a memory that would never leave me alone. Every scar on my back throbbed as I got out of bed and went to splash some water on my face. Each step I took tore another harsh gasp from me. My calves burned as if I’d been running in my sleep, sprinting to get to my brother in time. I never did. No matter how fast I ran, no matter how many mages I took down on the way, I never made it in time.
I could never save my brother, not even in my dreams.
The water was cold, and I washed the sweat from my face and neck, but the shaking remained. The pain in my back lingered, as if I needed a reminder of all the pain I’d endured. Knowing I’d regret it, I yanked the blanket from the mirror, taking in my haggard appearance.
I snarled at my reflection then swiveled just enough to catch sight of my scars. They were bright red, and when I went to touch one, I yanked my hand back, repelled by the dark magic pouring off it. I wasn’t sure how long I stood in my bathroom, looking at my scars, hearing the faint cries of Antonio right before he was killed.
I should’ve gone back to bed, but that would only mean more nightmares. It used to be I’d get one every now and again, but since meeting Mercy, and being around such strong magic, they came almost nightly.
I couldn’t decide if it was the magic that made them come more frequently or how exciting my life had seemed since meeting her. Either way, the nightmares were beginning to make it hard to function during the day. I had a short temper before, but now it was getting worse. The only thing stopping me from losing it some days was a random text from Mercy. It wasn’t the same as seeing her face to face, but for the moment it was enough.
The alarm buzzed in my bedroom and I went to turn it off then hopped in the shower. Coffee was a must, then I left my apartment and trudged into the office. The TV in the corner was on to the morning news, some reporter standing at the mouth of an alley. A dead ghoul had been uncovered, murdered it seemed. Not my case, so I turned away from it and walked to my desk.
My main focus since returning from Sector 18 had been keeping an eye on the three new alphas, Henry, Thomas, and Curtis. In addition to hunting down Todd. There’d been no trail to follow thus far, and every person who might’ve had contact with him was either dead, or we couldn’t find. We’d neared the end of December, and I wanted to find him before the year was out, but with nothing to go on, this was likely to be shoved to the side any day now. I worked on the paperwork I’d been ignoring for weeks and barely acknowledged Iris when she arrived and sat down. She was holding a grudge since I didn’t go to her place for Christmas. I hadn’t seen anyone that day. I never did. She should’ve remembered that about me. The day passed much like all the others had since getting back to the grind. Slow, long, and too damned quiet. Around lunchtime, the headache the nightmare left me with came roaring back with a vengeance, and I got up to grab another cup of coffee and whatever food I could scrounge up in the break room.
As I ate a stale bagel, not really tasting it, and sipped on my coffee, my cell dinged. I pulled it out to find a text from Mercy.
Hope your night was better than mine.
I frowned. There hadn’t been any major stories on the news this morning. What did she mean by that? I texted her back.
Doubt it.
I nearly told her I’d been suffering from another damned nightmare but didn’t add that part.
She replied with a question mark.
I replied that I was backlogged with paperwork and there were no new leads on Todd. Then I added:
Makes it hard to do my job. What happened to you?
It took a minute for her to reply: At clinic. Vamp bite.
I nearly choked on my coffee and hurried to ask her if she was alright.
She sent back that she was fine, just got a fang stuck in her arm. She’d live. She told me there was a bounty out on the vampire for making a mess for his coven and he didn’t want to make it easy on her, so he bit her about six times before she managed to break one of his fangs off.
By the time she was done telling me what happened, I was halfway to the door to get to the clinic and check on her.
Then I realized what I was doing and stopped.
We weren’t that good of friends, were we?
After the incident with the werewolves, we’d grown a bit closer, but if I thought about it, there was a great deal I didn’t know about Mercy. And vice versa. I wasn’t even sure who texted who first, but the conversation had kept on going. Until she quit texting me, I wasn’t about to stop.
I asked if she needed anything and waited for the next message as I went back to my desk.
I was more surprised she hadn’t been constantly asking me about Todd. I figured she would’ve wanted to know if we were any closer to catching him. Seemed that usually, I was the one who brought it up. Not that I could blame her. Guy tried to kill her twice. Guess she wanted to put it behind her and move on.
After a long few minutes of waiting, she finally texted back saying she was alright. That she was going to head home and get some sleep.
I almost texted her back to ask if she wanted to meet up this weekend. Or if I could swing by her place, but all I said was sweet dreams and that I’d talk to her soon.
“Who’s that?” Iris asked, getting up from her desk and peering over my shoulder. “M?”
“Yes.” I shoved the phone back in my pocket. “Can I help you with something?”
Her gaze was calculating for a solid minute, then she sighed and nodded. “Nor came by your desk. Wants to see you when you have a minute.”
“Thanks,” I replied and got up to go see him.
“That’s the bounty hunter you’re texting, isn’t it?”
“So what if it is.” I stopped and waited to see what Iris would say.
“Nothing,” she mumbled. “Just… be careful with her. Alright?”
“There’s nothing going on between us, so you don’t have to worry yourself.”
“You say that, but I saw you two in Sector 18.”
“Whatever you think you saw, you’re wrong.”
“Not blind,” she pressed. “There’s more going on between you two.”
“What’s your point, if there is?” I asked hotly. “My life is none of your damned business, so drop it.”
“It will be if she starts affecting you at your job.”
I stiffened and turned back around, walking away. Didn’t matter what she saw or what she thought. Mercy and I were friends. Okay, barely. There wasn’t a chance we could be anything more. And she had nothing to do with why I’d been so off these last few weeks.
I knocked on Nor’s door and waited for him to reply before opening it. “You wanted to see me, sir?”
“Come in and shut the door, would you?”
I did as he asked then took a seat in front of his desk. “We’re no further along with finding Todd. The team’s tracked down every possible lead and turned up nothing. I think he’s off the radar, sir. We might not be able to find him.”
“Thank you for the update, but the case is not why I called you in here.”
“No?” I asked warily. “Something wrong, sir?”
“How have you been?” He leaned back in his chair, watching me closely. “Since we’ve been back from that foul issue with the werewolves, I haven’t much had a chance to speak with you.”
“Been fine,” I said slowly. “Is this about Mercy?”
Nor’s brows rose, but he shook his head. “I believe what she told me was all she knew of Liam. I’m sorry I pushed so hard for her to come in. And f
or thinking she was involved.”
Good thing Mercy had been able to lie to his face about what else she’d known about the mage, otherwise it would not have been such an easy interrogation. “She understood.”
“Did she now? You’ve spoken to her since?”
“On and off.” I shifted in my chair. “Is that a problem?”
“No, not at all. I’ll admit I’m surprised a bit, but I’m happy to hear you’re socializing with someone other than Iris.”
“Don’t really socialize with Iris,” I mumbled. “We work together, that’s it.”
“Yes, well, all the same. Mercy is certainly more interesting.” He smiled for a brief second then coughed loudly. “And there is nothing else going on in your life you wish to talk about?”
“Sir, if you want to ask me something, just ask it,” I said, getting more annoyed by the second.
“You’re not sleeping,” he said bluntly. “You look like shit most days, and your temper is very short. It’s like you’ve gone back in time and are the same unstable Rafael I first brought into this building. What’s going on? And be honest with me.”
I opened my mouth to say none of that was true, but he’d see right through my bullshit just like he did when he first met me. “The nightmares are back.”
“About your brother?”
“Yes,” I agreed then reached around to where my scars were bothering me, making me anxious. “Amongst other things.”
“How bad is it?”
“Bad enough,” I growled. “I’m dealing with it.”
“Obviously not. I’ve told you before, you could come to me and tell me if the job was getting to you. The last couple of months have been rough. If you need to take time off, I’ll understand.”
“I’m good. Really.”
Nor’s brow furrowed even deeper. “If you won’t take time off, then I’m requesting you see the in-house psychologist. You need to talk to someone before your nightmares, and the rest of your past consumes you.” He picked up a card from his desk and held it out. “Take it and keep in mind, this time, I’m only requesting you go and see him.”