by JK Ensley
“Vindicus, you are mad. I can no longer feel. You speak to a woman absent a heart—empty everything save anger and words.”
“Then I will be pleased with her words alone.”
I resignedly closed my teary eyes. “I am now absent them as well.”
The giant dome grew ever nearer as I struggled futilely with my Guardian. He didn’t even light upon the marble floor, but flew straight to the healing waters. And there he hovered.
“Vindicus, do I even hold worth to you?”
“You are everything, my Angel,” he whispered.
“I’m not an Angel, as much as you wish it to be so.”
“Ah, my love, once these blessed waters have washed over you, I will show you exactly how much I care for you.”
“Please, do not do this, Brother.”
He wrapped his ebony pinions around me as we slowly dropped into the sacred pool, completely entwined in his love… and my hate.
“My dearest Jenevier, this moment was always fated to be so,” he whispered. “I feel that truth with every cell of my being.”
I ceased my futile resistance and gave in to the inevitable.
*****
The waters were everything I remembered them to be; amazing, rejuvenating, healing. And that’s exactly why I now hated them beyond measure. I did not wish to be healed, didn’t want to be restored.
My only desire… was death.
I turned to my Guardian captor. For the first time, I saw the horrible damage I had caused to his lovely face. Deep gashes left three gaping wounds down each cheek. They still bled terribly. I felt shame, such shame I cannot express it with words… tears alone must suffice in the telling. I let Vindicus hold me there as our bones mended—blood and bruises washing away.
Something was different this time. The power of this particular water dove into my shattered soul, forcefully weaving precious love throughout—an undeserved gift. God was now demanding I receive His grace even though I had stubbornly walked out on Him just a few moments ago. I resisted nothing. I just let it happen the way it was meant to. I was broken in every possible way. Only when I completely gave up, completely surrendered, did I allow the healing love of God to fix me. I floated there, absent everything, and He filled my empty shell with what He wanted me to be made of. He created me again, for a fourth time—when I was born, when I was transformed, when my soul was returned to me, and now… only days later.
I knew what was happening to me was going to be a glorious, world-altering experience—my world. Yet I had to be at the absolute lowest point in my existence, with no fight or will left within me, before my original transformation could truly be completed.
Vindicus felt the tremors of my re-creation. His responding growls tingled inside me, gliding through my renewing essence. They wove themselves in with the powerful ethereal threads now forming me, stitching me back together, knitting me a new core, a new spirit, a new heart. It was intoxicatingly sensual.
“I told you this moment was always fated to be so,” he said through a growl.
His deep guttural reverberations had a rippling effect within me. Part of him became part of me, a bonding like none before. We were alive, relishing in the flawed creatures we once were… and the new beings we were fast becoming. This was no accident. An epic evolution of this magnitude must have always been part of a larger design. And how could it not be?
We were one. Yet, not as it had been with Varick. The deep pull and undeniable love I immediately felt with my beautiful Vanir Prince was as natural and easy as breathing. With but one look into Alzeen’s heart, I was lost to him for all eternity.
This, this was different. This was more. I wasn’t simply made from a piece of him. We were remade… together—the same person in two bodies, two vastly different forms. I knew his thoughts and his heart as if they not only resided, but originated within my own mind, my own chest. I could no more resist this warrior than I could resist the urge to breathe. He was me… and I was him.
“Vindicus, what is this?” I whispered. “What’s happening to me, to us? I fear.”
“Mmm… It’s not the stuff you were made from that defines you now, my love. It’s the stuff you were remade from that calls out only for me. My essence has erased his, dearest Princess. That’s the only way you could be healed. We are bonded, you and I. As I was subject to you upon sight, so now are you subject to me. We are one, and it is thrilling!”
And he was right. I felt every emotion he felt with mirrored intensity. I am, now and forever, a different creature.
“This is who you are?” My body was trying to adjust to the vastness of what I could now see, now touch, now feel. “This is what it feels like to be Vanir?”
“Ahh… Now you get it, my love. And no, this isn’t what it feels like to be a Vanir. This is what it feels like to be a Warrior. We are the lucky few. Now, do you understand the intensity with which Vareilious loved you? Do you understand the raw ferocity of my emotions, my passion for you, all of you?”
I gasped. “…Yes.”
“And do you now see what great restraint it takes to keep from devouring you this very moment?”
“…Yes.”
“Only one as powerful as a true warrior can love this hard, and restrain from loving as well.”
“Do not forget, Guardian, I feel what you feel. You may say restraint, yet now I know what is truly in your heart.”
Vindicus’s labored breathing matched my own, restraint the furthest thing from our minds. “It’s the law of nature, my love, the alchemic law of equivalent exchange. The price paid must be equal to the gift received. As much of me was given to you… so the same of you now lives in me.”
“But, Vindicus, if we both now feel this powerfully toward each other, if the pull is this infinite and neither one of us is the commander of control… will this not be dangerous beyond reasoning?”
“Yes.” He growled as he grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me to him. “You do not yet know what you are, Princess. But I do. Ooh, and that sweet knowledge is a blessed gift. As painful a thing as you had to witness this day, it could have been no other way. You aren’t like him, my love. You are completely different creatures. You are so much more. You always have been. Varick wasn’t your fated lover. No matter how badly he wished it to be so, he never was.”
I wanted this man, this warrior, more than I had ever wanted anything in my entire existence. His powerful aura consumed me. All else left my mind save my desire to have him. And our unique connection only confirmed our intense, rising passions.
Vindicus halted but for an instant, looking deep into my eyes. I could feel the unquenchable fire raging inside him, raging inside me.
“This is dangerous, even I can sense that,” he whispered.
“I’m terrified,” I confessed. “I fear I’m not strong enough to control this.”
“It’s an unknown thing for us both. Yet, I would surrender my wings to keep from being denied this, from being denied you,” he whispered against my waiting lips.
Pushing me up against the marble wall of that blessed pool, he pressed his weight against me. His kiss was like burning lightning. His fervor—unquenchable. Vindicus ravished my trembling body with his sweet lips. Moans and gasps escaped me, unhindered, thus fueling his intensity. I felt I would explode if he didn’t soon claim me, and his reaction to that thought was almost bestial. Pulling me ever closer, he pressed harder against me, our bared flesh sparking where we touched. My melting response removed any doubt or restraint he had left.
When Vindicus looked deep into my eyes, when I saw the smoldering fire spilling forth from those flawless sapphires, I was then and forever changed. Freedom was no longer upon my mind, no longer upon my lips. I wished not for it, not anymore. This man owned me—irrecoverably, undeniably owned me.
His muffled roars rumbled within his glorious chest, purring and humming. His raspy breathing upon my neck sent erotic chills rippling from my crown to my heels. I pulled him against
me, digging my nails into his beautiful flesh. I couldn’t get him close enough, couldn’t kiss him deep enough.
“Vindicus…”
He only growled in response.
“Vindicus…”
The giant sentinel wrapped his arms around me and flew up into the air.
“Never have I burned quite so hot, little Angel. I shall enjoy you properly.”
My Guardian tenderly laid me upon the giant feather bed. When I felt the whole of his weight pressed upon me, the touch of his bare flesh against mine, it was as if all was right with the world once more. The whole universe fell away. Our passion burned it down. We were the only two creatures that yet remained.
“So, this is what I missed during all those lonely years—”
His response was instantaneous, his growl deep and threatening… his sapphire eyes flashing with anger.
“You are mine! You cannot have missed my love for years. I have only known you for days.”
“No. No, I only meant… back when I spent years crying myself to sleep on this same bed in the training dome of Vanahirdem, I could’ve—”
“Stop!”
I felt his fury, his consuming jealousy. It ran wild within me. I matched his passionate thoughts.
“Do not pine about wishes of Vareilious within you or of Varick’s mouth upon yours every night. This is the moment you are to experience me. Now is the time of us, the only lover you were ever fated to have. You shall know no other. Do not destroy me by bringing a lost love into your mind while I am worshiping you, Little Fire. Worshipping you the way only I can.”
“Apologies. I never meant it that way. Purge my careless words and know that we are bonded above all others of our kind. I cannot deny that I love you, Vindicus. You are now a large part of me. You can sense my feelings minus my words.”
He pressed deep inside me, moving against me in a way that caused me to moan, caused me to shudder. Vindicus looked down at me, smiling. I was fast losing control and he could sense it, could feel it even. I thought my heart would burst within my chest. Something was happening inside my trembling body, a swelling, mounting pressure, the release of which I knew full well would be epic.
I clung to him. His fathomless blue eyes remained fixed upon me, upon my face, his smile widening with every moan that escaped my lips. The rest of my thoughts fell away as a wave of euphoria swept over me. My cry heightened until it caught in my throat. He held my hips, pulling me against him, releasing a thunderous roar before collapsing back into my waiting arms, utterly spent.
I couldn’t speak, words left me. My enchanting sapphire lover lay beside me, holding me in his angelic arms, intermittent tremors running the length of his beautiful form. Exhausted, we slept.
I have no idea how much time had passed when next I opened my eyes.
He was so flawlessly beautiful. I drank in the glory of his awesome form. Marveling in just how perfect this warrior truly was. He was created without equal, I thought. I wonder, what was his purpose? Why was he blessed above all his brethren?
I ran my fingers through his vibrant blue hair, new desire growing with each blessed touch.
“You take my breath away,” I whispered.
He didn’t open his eyes, but the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. I brushed my fingers lightly across his brow, down his jaw line to his chiseled chin.
“God painted you just for me, Angel. I promise, nay, I vow… I will never leave you. From this moment forth, you will know no peace. I will be forever underfoot. You are mine. Never forget that, Warrior.” I kissed the tip of his nose. “I love you, Vindicus.”
His lips parted, displaying his brilliant, deadly smile.
“Do you feel that?” he whispered.
“Feel what? What is it, my love?”
But then I did feel something. My hand was burning. I realized this the same moment my Guardian’s sapphire eyes opened and he held his hand up before my face. It took a few more heartbeats before the intricate tattoo forming right in front of my eyes, would even register.
I slowly pulled my hand from beneath my resting head, holding it beside his. Together, we marveled at the beautifully matching bands magically encompassing our fingers.
“Witness now our destiny, little Fire Princess. Never have I belonged to another.” Vindicus looked as if he would cry—moist eyes wavering, lips pursed.
“But… I thought you had to place your manacle upon me. I thought you had to ask and I had to accept,” I wondered, aloud.
“That’s true,” he answered. “But, at least this way you didn’t get the chance to deny me.”
I smiled, blissfully happy. “As if denying you were even a possibility.”
“Unless the union cannot be denied… because it is ordained.”
The sorrowfully pained voice coming from the doorway caused me to release a tiny yelp.
“Vybius, old friend, how long have you been spying on us?” Vindicus said, smiling lazily.
“Ahh, Brother, you felt me approach only a moment ago. I waited, delayed my arrival.”
I sat up, looking at the amethyst-eyed man who had cared for me, held me while I was lost in the void, spoke my soul back to this realm, and had confessed his devotion for me this same day. Those enchanting eyes were moist with painful tears. My joyous heart sank a bit at the sight of him.
I was suddenly painfully aware of just how naked Vindicus and I were—laying there, limbs still entwined. I jumped up and instinctively went to the familiar closet, slipped on a robe, and tossed a coverlet to my new husband.
“Apologies. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Vybius said, his voice sounding so tiny, his head bowed. “When Viatrix envisioned your bonding, I could not come. My wings were weighted down with pain.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “But when she saw your union without the exchanging of manacles, well, I had to see that with my own eyes. I have only ever read about it in our most ancient accords.”
I looked back down at my freshly tattooed finger, new love filled me. I couldn’t have stopped my smile even if I’d wanted to. I looked to my beautiful new husband, who mirrored my expression perfectly.
“I have never known such a feeling,” I whispered. “I’ve never felt quite so complete. I’m looking at the world through brand-new eyes, and it is a glorious sight to behold.”
Not even the pain clearly displayed upon Vybius’s lovely face could dissuade my happiness.
“Your words ring more true then you realize, my love,” Vindicus said.
“Yes, he speaks a truth you have not yet comprehended, oh beautiful one. I will always give thanks I was blessed enough to witness your enchantingly magical rebirth. It tears at my soul,” Vybius said. “But I would rather sacrifice my eyes than to have been denied seeing your miracle first hand.”
“Why do you tease me at such a time? Do you wish me to blush more than I already am?”
“Ahh, tiny Angel, your rosy cheeks are lovely and innocent.” Vindicus smiled as he spoke. “But what my brother says is not in jest. Look, my love.”
He turned me toward the giant beveled mirror matching the one I once stood in front of in Vanahirdem as I stared at my blackened eyes and emaciated form. Today though, the looking glass displayed an astonishingly different picture of who I was… and of who I was becoming.
There, before my eyes, my fair skin was fading ever paler, as marbled stone. My beautiful golden curls—that had gotten me into as much trouble as they’d gotten me out of—were changing as well.
“What is it? What’s happening to me?”
“You are being reborn, remade,” Vindicus whispered. “You are displaying on the outside what was made new within.”
Vybius approached me. “More than that, my love, you are becoming the Angel you were always meant to be.”
I looked back to my reflection, anxiously watching. My skin slowly took on a faint effervescent glow and many of my long, loose curls changed to varying shades of vibrant pink.
I gasped. “…Wow.”
“Wow is right. I would not have thought it possible, Anicee, but you are becoming even more beautiful than imaginable.”
“Oh, stop it, Vindicus.” I blushed brightly, pretending to push away his loving arms.
“Your husband does not jest, lovely Angel. Your radiance causes my tongue to go dumb within my mouth. There are no words befitting your ethereal description. Your beautiful new markings surpass all within this realm… or any realm I have ever known.”
“I can never live up to those words, Vybius, you go too far. You are both unduly prejudice in my regard.”
I looked at my dear friend, tears spilling forth down his angelic cheeks. Taking his magical hand in mine, I pulled him close to me, wrapping one arm around his thin waist. Vindicus growled. I elbowed him.
The three of us watched as half my curls turned the most alluring shades of pink I had ever seen. Perhaps you would name them fuchsia or magenta, I wasn’t certain. My skin paled and pulsed until it perfectly matched the ethereal creatures standing with me.
“But look at your eyes,” Vybius whispered.
I focused then upon the strange pink and azure orbs staring back at me. I leaned closer. They reminded me of Alzeen’s. His were a vibrant green with rusty golden flames encircling them. Mine were the same pink as my new curls, encompassed about with as glorious and bright a sapphire as my angelic husband’s eyes boasted.
“You got the blue from me,” he whispered.
“…Wow,” was all I could manage to say.
Chapter 19
Jenevier
(ZHEN-ah-veer)
Okay, dear Reader, you’re probably at the point where you’re saying, “What in the hell is going on?”
Well, basically, I was stressing over watching what went on in my life while I was absent from it—roaming the eighth layer. So I went into the temple just to calm my nerves. All I actually accomplished was remembering my lost husband, Varick, and how much I truly loved and missed him.
So… I started my own little pity party and it quickly turned into a self-destructive downward spiral. Then to help me out with reality and keep me from stressing over the terrifying unknown, God let me in on a little dose of my own reality. I couldn’t handle it. I took it to the dark side, so to speak. I blamed everyone and everything for my bad luck. I hosted one great big giant poor-poor-pitiful-me-party and drank all the spiked punch I could swallow.