Sandra found Kim curled up in a rocking chair on the massive front porch. A tray with hot coffee and several mugs sat on the table before her.
“Good morning,” Kim said.
“Good morning.” Sandra helped herself to a cup of coffee. She noticed the photo album in Kim’s hand as she sat down. “What have you got there?”
Kim opened the album, revealing a family photo of herself and her first husband. “I was reminiscing.”
It struck Sandra as odd that she would spend the morning before her wedding thinking about her first husband. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Some days I miss him more than others.” Sandra must not have hidden her surprise very well. “Does it seem odd to you that I’m thinking about Kevin the day before I’m going to marry Mike? I suppose I will always miss him. I’m so thankful, however, that God has given me a second chance with Mike. He’s a good man, a godly man, and I love him dearly. I only hope I can make him a good wife.”
“Kim, you’ll be a wonderful wife. You’re already experienced at it.”
“My marriage to Kevin wasn’t always smooth. We were both so young and so wrapped up in ourselves. When I look back now, I’m saddened by what we could have had if only we’d given our marriage over to the Lord.”
Sandra sipped her coffee. It was better that she didn’t speak. Her sister-in-law’s wistfulness caught her off guard. Kim had no idea what a difficult relationship looked like. She had no idea how much it hurt to watch your husband walk out the door.
“It breaks my heart what’s happened between you and Devon. To see you both throw away twenty years of marriage.”
Sandra replaced her coffee cup. “Sometimes things just don’t work out.”
“Few things in life just work out, Sandra. More often than not, you have to fight for it.”
This conversation was getting too personal. Was Kim actually telling her she and Devon needed to work harder to make their marriage work? She had no idea what they’d been through. No idea how badly Devon had hurt her and the kids.
“I’ve been alone for a long time now, Sandra, and what I’ve come to realize is it’s not better to be alone. I struggled for years with sadness and loneliness. I know you and my brother have your problems, but I wonder how you would feel if you lost the chance to ever forgive him. I pray you’ll never have to find out.” She set down her cup and the photo album then stood. “I’d better go and wake up Mike. We’ve got to meet with Wreath about the rehearsal dinner arrangements.”
“Wreath? Is that a person?”
“Yes. Wreath Anderson. She’s my wedding planner. A very sweet woman with a tragic story. She was left at the altar several years ago.”
“Really? And she still plans weddings? It must be difficult to watch other people get married after her day was ruined.”
“I imagine it is, but she has a very sweet disposition. I don’t know what I would do without her.” Kim placed a hand on Sandra’s shoulder. “Think about what I said. It’s not too late for you and Devon.”
Sandra finished off her cup of coffee. She’d been un-prepared for Kim’s emotional plea for her and Devon. She’d been so caught up in seeing everyone again that she hadn’t been prepared for what it felt like to belong to this family again, to belong with Devon.
She reached for the coffeepot. Kim had left the photo album opened to a familiar photo. Sandra pulled the book to her. She and Devon on their wedding day. She sucked in a breath at how happy they looked. She ached at the memory. They had been happy. But what had happened to the passion these two young lovebirds had shared?
She sighed, knowing the answer. Life had happened. So many things had gotten in the way—work, kids, chores, bills. But mostly frustration and indifference had killed their relationship.
Kim’s question echoed in her mind. How would she feel if Devon were lost to her forever? If she could never say sorry for how messed up things became? Or tell him how much their life together had meant to her? A sense of urgency pressed at her. Was Kim right? Should they have fought harder to save their marriage? Could they have fought harder? She knew the answer to that. They’d hardly fought at all, just given up on their dreams and on their relationship. She’d been so tired of the drama and of arguing. Giving up had seemed easier. But as she stared at the photograph of the love shining from the faces of two young people on the page and she remembered the loneliness of the past months since the kids had left for college, she had to wonder if she’d really made the better choice.
Lynn pulled the car into a parking space downtown, and she, Sandra, and Cara got out. Sandra was glad for the outing. She needed to find a nice dress and shoes for the wedding, as well as an extra change of clothes.
“We should be able to find what you need at Darby’s,” Lynn told her. “They have some very cute outfits. Oh, and we must get some of their fudge. They’re famous for their fudge.”
Darby’s was a charming shop with accessories and gifts. They also had an appealing selection of clothes, and Cara was quick to point out cute tops that might please Sandra.
She pulled down a red jacket. “Mom, you should get this. It’s so nice.”
The red color and the cut appealed to Sandra, but she still shook her head. “I have a jacket. I don’t really need another one.”
Cara held it up against her. “But, Mom, it’s so cute and you look so good in this color.”
Lynn joined Cara in her encouragement. “Yes, you should get it, Sandra. It’s lovely.”
“Okay.” Sandra finally caved, slipping off her old coat and handing it to Cara so she could try on the red. She slipped it on and loved the texture and cut.
“It looks terrific,” Cara exclaimed. “And you should totally get these earrings, too.” She presented a pair of dangly earrings for Sandra to try on. “They’ll look great with your hair down like that. In fact, you should wear them now.” She tore them off the paper and handed them to Sandra to put on.
Despite her daughter’s pushiness, Sandra liked the items she’d chosen. She picked out two more blouses and carried them, the coat, and the earrings to the cashier. All in all, she was pleased with her purchases. “I still need to pick out a dress and shoes for the wedding.”
Cara’s phone beeped and she glanced at it then smiled. “While you do that, Grandma and I are going to walk one street over to the bookstore. There’s this new novel I’ve been dying to get. Want to come with me, Grandma?”
“Yes, I think I will,” Lynn said.
“Great. Mom, we’ll meet you down at Cotton Alley Restaurant at the end of the street in about a half hour. Okay? Bye.” Cara made a beeline for the door, followed closely by her grandmother.
Lynn stopped and turned back to her before she left. “Don’t forget to try the fudge. It’s delicious.”
Sandra watched them leave, stumped by their abrupt departure. What could be so important about a book that it couldn’t wait while she tried on a few dresses?
The dress she picked out had flecks of red in the pattern that would match her new red coat. It would be the perfect thing to wear to the wedding. She also picked out a lovely picture frame as a wedding gift.
“Anything else today, ma’am?” the lady at the counter asked.
Sandra shrugged and nodded. “I’ll take some fudge.”
Satisfied with her day’s purchases, she headed to Cotton Alley to meet Lynn and Cara. She found the restaurant toward the end of Main Street. She stepped inside, surprised to find an elegant feel to the establishment. Charming and quaint with cozy corners, cloth tablecloths, and wind chimes intermingled with plants and lovely paintings. The manager greeted her at the door, and just as Sandra said she was meeting her daughter, a familiar voice called her name.
She spotted Devon sitting at a table tucked into the corner by the window. He waved her over.
“Devon, what a surprise. Are you here alone?”
“I was supposed to meet Jacob here, but it seems I’ve been stood up.”
�
��What do you mean? Where did he go?”
“He was heading to the bookstore to buy a book on the history of Natchez.”
She frowned. “Since when has Jacob been interested in history? Or reading?” Lately, all that seemed to be on their son’s mind was girls, not schoolwork.
“I was suspicious, too. But apparently he met up with Cara and my mom at the bookstore, right about the time they all got called back to Brandon Hall to meet with the photographer. He rode back with them.”
“They left?” Without her? Sandra sighed. Had she been forgotten?
“They asked me to make sure you got back.” He held out a chair. “But why don’t we eat first?”
She set down her bags then slid into the chair Devon held out for her. This wasn’t a good idea. After his comments last night, being alone with him wasn’t smart. She wanted to ask him about it, demand to know if he’d been serious or if some fanciful romantic notion had hit him because of his sister’s wedding. But she didn’t dare open her mouth about what he’d said.
What if he told her, in the light of day, that he’d changed his mind?
“You look great,” Devon said. “Is that a new coat?”
Sandra fingered the red coat she’d been forced to wear from the store after her daughter had absentmindedly walked out with her old one. “I just bought it.”
“The color is great on you, matches the warmth of your eyes.”
When the waiter came to take their orders, Sandra ordered a chicken salad while he ordered the burger. They both ordered iced tea with lemon.
“So what were yours and Cara’s plans for today? I see you already did some shopping.”
“Yes, I needed a dress for Kim’s wedding. Then we were going to Longwood to take the tour. I hear it’s amazing.”
“That’s the octagonal shaped house, right?”
“It is. They say only the basement floor was ever completed. The remaining floors are still unfinished to this day.”
“Jacob and I had plans to go out to the city cemetery. I hear there’s a man there who was buried sitting straight up.”
She giggled at the notion. “Really? How strange.”
He rattled the ice in his glass. “Why don’t we go together? I’ll go with you to Longwood and you come with me to the cemetery. It’ll be fun.”
“Together?”
“Why not?”
She could think of a million reasons why she shouldn’t go, but they all had to do with putting her heart at risk again. “We don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea.”
“The wrong idea about what?”
“All children of divorce want to see their parents get back together. I don’t want to give them unrealistic hope.”
“Who says it’s unrealistic?”
“Devon, we’ve done this. We’ve gone this route. We couldn’t make it work before. Why would this time be any different?”
“Look, I’m not asking you to marry me under the old oak tree. I’d just like us to spend some time together, have some fun. We used to have fun, remember?”
He looked like a little kid, begging for another ice cream cone, and her heart melted. How could she resist him? “Fine, but this doesn’t mean anything. We’re just two friends spending the day together. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
But the grin that spread across his face told her the truth—this definitely meant something.
Chapter 7
Armed with brochures from the convention center, they toured several plantation homes, including Stanton Hall, Rosalie, and Melrose. Sandra loved seeing the old furnishings and the large old curtains hanging over the windows. She also enjoyed hearing the history of the historic homes and imagining how it must have been to live there.
Longwood touched her most. The octagonal home was six stories, but only the basement level was complete. From the second floor, she could look up to see four more levels of only structure and the promise of what might have been. The wooden floors remained unfinished, the window spaces unglassed, and Sandra could see evidence of birds living right at the base of the finial.
Devon stared into one of the side rooms, and she followed his gaze to unopened crates of furniture tucked into a corner, still bearing the original owner’s name. Stacks of wood remained unused, and equipment lay covered in layers of dust.
“Construction was halted on Longwood at the start of the Civil War,” the tour guide explained. “The builder brought his own workers in from Philadelphia, and when the war broke out, they dropped everything to return home, not wanting to get caught behind the lines. Because of blockades, most of the furniture and materials that had been purchased to finish the home were seized by the Union army and therefore never made it to Longwood. The war also took a toll on the family’s wealth, as they were unable to move their shipments of cotton. By the time the war ended, the family was financially unable to complete the building of Longwood, and so it remains unfinished to this day.”
The guide’s explanation touched a sentimental place inside her. The toll of that war could still be seen here in this house and in the history of this family. “It’s so sad,” she said. “They dropped everything because of the war. They left their lives, their livelihoods.”
“War has a way of disrupting lives.” Devon looked at her then away. “Any kind of war.”
His words seemed more profound than their surface meaning, and she was sure he meant them to be. Somehow she got the feeling he was talking about them, about the war between them, the war that had come into their lives, a war of wills that had devastated everything between them.
Though they were beautiful, Sandra was no longer interested in touring the grounds of Longwood. She was ready to get away from the reminder of how this unfinished home mirrored their lives. She pulled the brochures from her purse and thumbed through them. “Why don’t we go see the graveyard next?” Natchez was known for its city cemetery, with generations in family plots and unusual history. She’d read online that during the pilgrimages, townsfolk would dress up as their ancestors and recount the stories of those buried there.
At the car, Devon opened the door for her. Sandra slipped inside then watched him close it and head around to the driver’s side. How long had it been since anyone had opened a car door for her? He used to do such things in the early days of their marriage, but somehow that habit had fallen away. That he remembered to do it now touched her heart. But was it just an act of kindness, or was he, too, remembering the war that had stolen their marriage away from them?
The words of Ecclesiastes ran through Devon’s mind as he drove toward the cemetery. A time to live, a time to die, a time to love, and a time to fight. Seeing those tools and crates lying unused at Longwood had set his mind on life and all the interruptions that happened. Sandra had commented on how sad it was to see the house unfinished. She was right. It was sad, but not nearly as sad as seeing a life, a marriage, unfinished.
They toured the graveyard and saw innumerable tombstones bearing names of husbands and wives buried side-by-side. The history of this place overwhelmed him. How would it feel to live and love with someone for so many years, to be devoted to one another long enough to reach eternity together? He stared at Sandra. He wanted her by his side even at the end of life and the words immortalized, “husband and wife.”
She stood beside him, where he was concentrating on the headstone, and read the names. “That’s lovely,” she stated. “They must have loved one another very much.”
“Yes. Do you think they always got along?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“These two people were married for thirty years, Sandra. They built a life together, so much so that someone, presumably their children, kept them together even in death. It couldn’t have been easy. Their lives wouldn’t have been nearly as easy as ours are. They probably had to fight for every year they were together. But they stuck it out together.”
“You don’t know—maybe they hated each other. Maybe the
y never got along and they lived out their lives miserable with each other until the very end.”
“Or maybe they found a way to get along, to find the good in each other. Maybe they loved and laughed and lived all those years together with joy and thanksgiving.”
She laughed a nervous laugh. “Devon, you can’t possibly be comparing our lives to the lives of these people.”
“Why not? Marriage was meant to last for a lifetime, like these people did.”
“It was a different time. Things were different.”
“Yes, they were. Our grandchildren’s grandchildren probably won’t be able to find a headstone with the name of a husband and wife that lasted more than a few years.”
“It’s the way the world is changing.”
“It doesn’t have to be. It shouldn’t be. God intended marriage to be for a lifetime. Whatever happened to that?”
She stiffened. “Well it’s difficult to make a marriage last a lifetime when one of the parties walks out.”
The bitterness in her cold stare ripped through his heart. The way she crossed her arms and stiffened left little doubt they were back to talking about their lives, their marriage.
“I would take it back in a moment if I could. Leaving you and the kids was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I wish I had never done it.”
“But you did, Devon. You can’t change the past.”
“No, but I thought we were forgetting the past. Isn’t that what we agreed to? Putting the past behind us and moving forward. That’s what you said yesterday.”
“I only said that for the benefit of the children. I didn’t want them to see us fighting all weekend.”
“Don’t you think they would benefit more knowing their parents were trying to work things out?”
“Is that really what you want…to work things out between us?”
“When I see all this history, it makes me sad to think history will remember us as separate individuals, not as husband and wife. The thing I regret most is that we didn’t fight to save our marriage. Aren’t you tired, Sandra? Aren’t you tired of the bitterness and the anger between us? I’m exhausted. I almost missed my sister’s wedding because I was worried about being around you.”
Plantation Christmas Weddings Page 17