He's right.
Yet something inside me protests that it's unfair. "You know how much this means to me," I say, voice low.
At twenty-three, I was the youngest of the mayor's elite group of Guardians when the devil blew into town.
When the mayor asked him to lead the team, I proved myself in the trials. I’d shown I was skilled enough to merit my position. I made my mother's memory proud.
Now one single action threatens everything I worked for.
6
Kris
Green eyes blazing, sword in hand, the witch jumped out and headed straight for Noah, like a fucking knight going into battle. A visceral fear had slammed through me, the kind I'd faced only once before.
She had no sense of self preservation.
I knew, then, I must take care of her. Yet I can never let her too near. For, while she enjoys flirting with danger, Tara has no idea of the uncontrollable brute that I am.
I don't realize I’m on my feet, fists bunched at my side, until the doctor shoves me back down. I'd driven us to the infirmary after the encounter with Noah.
"Hold still." The doctor's needle stabs into my side as he finishes stitching up the wound. Pain jolts through me as he tugs at the wounded skin. It's nothing compared to the agony of seeing her with another male. But I don't have a choice. I must give her the freedom to explore, to find out what she wants, so she can make a conscious decision about her future.
"With your fast healing, you should be fine by tomorrow." The doc's voice cuts through my thoughts. "Mercenary Vampires fight dirty. They are tough opponents, even for an immortal. You were lucky this time,"
"So says the vampire who was once a mercenary himself," Mikhail's voice booms from the doorway.
The doc snorts. "Not that I try to hide it or anything. But it's not something I advertise either. Doesn't exactly inspire the trust of new patients."
The doctor yanks at the dressing, sending another pulse of fire slicing through me. It draws me away from the fire still raging inside. I'm grateful for the reprieve.
He bares his lips, showing telltale fangs at the sides, and steps back to survey the dressing.
Getting to my feet, I slide my arms into the clean T-shirt Mikhail hands me. It’s one of mine; I recognize the frayed seams and the spots of blood that never seem to wash off. Nodding my thanks, I head for the door.
"You're a quiet one, aren't you?" The vampire's voice follows me.
Mikhail saves me from replying. "One you can count on when you need him most."
Six months ago, I arrived in this city to help Mikhail rescue his mate, Leana, from the vampires. I stayed on at the Mayor's request, to train and lead the Guardians.
Now I wonder if I fooled myself all along. Had I stayed to be near her? That first day I walked into the Mayor's Palace, I smelled her. The scent of green apples on a cool dawn breeze had pulled at me until I turned my head to find her staring.
Sharp green eyes clung to my skin.
She wanted to inhale me, to consume me raw. Tara entranced me from the first moment. Something that lay dormant inside had reared its head: a primal need to possess.
The force of it punched through me. And that phantom mating bond, the one so abruptly cut years ago, had surfaced. Throbbed.
I push the memory out of my head.
"Thanks." I nod to Mikhail. "You'd do the same."
It was an unspoken code among Ascendants, to help another in need, especially when it meant saving a fated mate.
Still, Mikhail's words touch a part of me inside, the part Tara had brought to life. It pushed me into living, breathing, feeling. Feeling something more than just guilt for still being alive.
She broke through to me, found a crack in the defenses I’d built over the years. And that convinces me even more that I did the right thing in letting her go. Any closer and I'd not be able to hold myself back. The force of my dominance would crush all choice from her.
"Any friend of Mikhail's is one of mine. Dr. Vance Rainer at your service." The tall, broad-shouldered vampire holds out his hand and takes a step forward.
I hesitate. I'm careful making friends, preferring to keep enemies closer. It's the only way to survive. I glance at Mikhail, who tilts his head.
Turning back, I shake his hand. His grip is firm, tattooed forearms bulging.
"Vance is an army doctor. Backed up troops in previous wars between the species," Mikhail adds.
"Had enough of the action? You retired from the front?" It's a snide remark, but I can't help myself. The doctor's found a place to stay. Good for him. "Me, I plan to move on once I've helped the mayor bring peace to this city."
The vampire's jaw hardens, but he doesn't rise to the bait. "On Mikhail's recommendation, Mayor Ariana took me and other qualified vampires into her team. Good enough for me," he adds before moving away to attend to a patient who's walked into the infirmary.
As I button up my shirt, Mikhail says, "So you and Tara..."
He lets the sentence hang between us, his voice low enough to be out of the hearing range of the others in the room.
When I don't reply, he says with the familiarly that comes only between those who have grown up together, "She maybe young in years, but Tara is no innocent."
"Of course she is," I snap. "She's barely out of her teens and has no idea of the world out there waiting for her. Besides, she could have her pick of males." I force the words out.
"And you want that for her, hmm? Another male."
"Don't go there," I growl, my palms forming into fists at the thought.
"Look at you!" He shakes his head. "Just thinking about it has you pushing your dominance to the fore. I am not the enemy here."
I force my muscles to relax, dropping my hands to the side. "Fuck!" Insides twisting with a mix of emotions, I move toward the window and look out with unseeing eyes.
Of course, Mikhail, that persistent bastard, doesn't give up.
Walking up to stand next to me, he says, "The connection between the two of you is so strong that you must know it's rare."
"I met the woman who would’ve been my mate already, you know that. It'd be unfair of me to give Tara hope of a mating bond when I have nothing to offer her. Nothing except the force of my dominance that would wipe out her very personality before she's even had a chance to discover who she is." I grit my teeth so hard pain cracks through my jaw.
"You never completed the bond with Fia, never had the chance to take her as your mate." His words cut through the haze of noise in my head.
Mikhail is the only other person who knows the truth of my past. The only one whose personality is dominant enough to match mine. Enough for me to hear him out.
"What are you implying?" I snarl.
"You don't have to be alone, Kris. Whether the mating bond forms between the two of you or not is not the point."
He's right, and yet I can't bring myself to accept the truth of what he's saying.
Letting the rage, the frustration, the sheer futility of the conflict I've been going through show, I turn on him. For the first time, I voice my dread. "What if I can’t give her what she deserves? What if I overwhelm her so completely that I push her over the edge?"
"Like Fia?"
Crack!
Mikhail's head snaps back, the skin over his left jaw wearing a streak of red.
"Fuck," I swear. "Sorry, brother."
"Exactly my point." He tilts his head. "You have no control where Tara is concerned, do you? You’re so far gone you're not aware of it. Just don't delay too much, or else you may lose her too."
Even as the meaning of his words sink in, Mikhail glances over his shoulder to where Vance and his patient stare at us. "Just a friendly conversation," he says with a straight face.
Vance gives us a shrewd glance before he turns back to his patient.
"So, what should I do?" I finally ask, my voice grudging.
His next words confirm it.
Mikhail replies at once. "Give this
thing between you two a chance to develop. See where it goes. Hell, you're the dominant male, you can figure it out, can't you?"
It finally dawns on me. "You mean, like get to know her better?"
"Yes." Leana walks up to us. "You immortals can be irresistible when you set your mind to it. Talk to her, Kris. Tell her what you're feeling." She slips her arm around her mate, who pulls her close.
Reaching up, she touches his bruised jaw. "I see you and Kris had that friendly chat."
"I'll heal." He grins down at her.
"You two planned this, didn't you?" I growl.
"Leana's idea." Mikhail kisses the top of her head.
"It worked, didn't it?" she asks, voice smug. “If you boys are done gossiping, the mayor's waiting for us to debrief her."
"Gossiping? You sassing me, brat?" Mikhail chuckles, then pulling Leana close, kisses her thoroughly.
By the time he releases her, Leana's breathless, cheeks flushed. Pushing aside the sword she always carries on her back, she slips her arm around his waist. "And you saw me just this morning too," she admonishes her mate.
"Too many hours have passed since." Mikhail lowers his forehead to hers.
It's such an intimate scene that I look away to give them a measure of privacy.
Will I ever have that? A sharp sense of regret cuts through me. Then a vision of flashing green eyes and dark hair tumbled across my bed passes before me, the vision so vibrant it I inhale. I thought I'd come to terms with being alone...I was mistaken.
As his patient leaves, the doctor walks to Leana and pulls her out of Mikhail's grasp and into a hug. "Always a pleasure to see you, princess. You light up this space."
"Flattery will get you…everywhere." Leana laughs.
"Anytime you get tired of him…" Vance jerks his thumb toward Mikhail, letting the words hang in the air.
Mikhail growls, his muscles bunching, ready for a fight.
Leana steps back and slips her arm around her mate. Her palm spreads for maximum body contact as she melts against him, trying to hold him back.
Vance isn't fazed by Mikhail's show of anger. The vampire likes to live dangerously.
Before Mikhail can react, Leana pulls her mate's head down and brushes her lips over his. "Ariana sent me to get you and Kris. She's waiting," she adds, voice soft.
This clever shifter female knows how to distract her mate.
"Get your own girl," Mikhail growls at Vance. "You have every female in this building vying for your attention; pick one."
"I’m selective." The vampire looks at me. "Now perhaps if Tara is interested, I might be tempted."
The damn vampire's eyes narrow as if gauging my reaction. The fucker is serious.
"Kris, you don't want anything to do with her, do you?" the doctor asks.
Red crawls around the edges of my vision, even as he says the words. My heart slams against my chest, breath speeding up at the thought of the handsome, tattooed vampire flirting with Tara.
I want to rip out his throat. For the first time, I let my possessive streak show. "Don't you fucking touch her," I snarl.
A firm shove against my chest, and I blink, vision clearing. I find myself facing Mikhail, his palms slapped against my chest.
Beyond him, Vance grins. A look of satisfaction laces his features. "Seems you do have a reason to stay in this city after all. You can't run forever, immortal. The day you stop and face the ghosts from your past, you might just be surprised."
Shaking off Mikhail's hold, I turn away.
Tara has me firmly in her grasp. Even when she's not there, she's all around me. I can smell her, taste her, feel her taking over my cells. The connection between us too strong to resist.
Is the vampire right? Is it time for me to stop running?
7
Tara
Though his wounds were more serious, Kris insisted the doctor treat me first.
The devil is 'immortal,' his healing powers far superior to mine. Still, I worry about him and didn’t want to leave him.
When my wounds had been dressed, he ignored me as he flung himself onto the examination table.
He's not yours, I remind myself. You lost him before you ever had him.
Yet his refusal to acknowledge my presence hurt.
So, I left to shower and change before heading to the debriefing.
When I walk into the meeting room, Leana and Mikhail are already there. "Tara!" she exclaims, walking up to me. "So glad to see you're okay."
I hug the woman I've come to love like a sister. She's also my sparring partner and taught me the combat skills that shifters specialize in.
"I have some news for you." Her eyes shine.
Before she can tell me, the hair on the back of my neck prickles in awareness.
There’s a touch on my shoulder.
Sizzle.
I know who it is. My heart slams against my rib cage.
"Uh, I'll let you two catch up." She steps aside.
"No, don't—" Before I complete my statement, she's gone to where Mikhail is waiting for her.
"You okay?" A low voice. His voice.
No, I'm not. I never will be.
I turn, making sure to keep all emotion from my face. I fix my eyes somewhere over his shoulder. At Ethan, the vampire leader, standing arms crossed. At Cyrus, the mayor's general, glowering at Ethan from the foot of the table. At Jacob, my fellow team member, walking over to speak with Mikhail. Anywhere but at those turquoise-blue eyes.
"You made it clear; you don't want anything to do with me." I struggle to keep my voice even. "Now you ask how I am?"
"I'm doing it to give you a choice." His voice is gruff, yet there's an edge of emotion in it, an intensity that hints at secrets, at unsaid fears.
It makes him seem almost human for a second.
Enough to make me peer up into his eyes. Enough for me to let the anger show in mine. "No, you're doing it to keep me at a distance," I say. "Don't you trust yourself?"
Silver sparks in those blue eyes. Cold fire. He'll be a demanding lover. Merciless. He'll take what he wants.
"You're right," he says, voice soft. "I don't trust myself around you."
Oh!
I hadn't expected him to admit that. "Why can't you open yourself up to how it can be between us? What are you afraid of?" I hadn't meant for it to come out like that. But sometimes you just go with your instinct.
His eyes fall to my lips. "You challenging me, Tara?" His voice turns silky. "You have no idea what you're taking on."
"Don't I?" I keep my voice casual, trying not to acknowledge what I sense…that the sexual tension between us just multiplied.
"If we are together, I'll ask everything of you. I'd want you to come stripped bare. To reveal your fears, your deepest desires. To allow me to see your soul as I let you see mine.
"Can you deal with my dominance taking over, subsuming yourself into me before you've even had a chance to discover who you really are? Can you live with that, Tara? Can you live with knowing I may never be able to offer you the mating bond in return?"
His words hit me with the force of a blow.
"All this time you ignored me. Now, when you decide to speak, you don't hold back, do you?" I gasp.
His tone is serious.
For the first time, I understand what I have dared to take on. His eyes hold mine. Deep within him, a fire burns that tempts me to reach out and touch. It's unavoidable that I will burn. It's as if for the first time, he's dropped all pretense, showing me a glimpse of what he really is: an immortal who's much more experienced than me. He has loved and lost, has defeated many on the battlefield. A warrior who's faced deep grief, soul wrenching agony, and survived.
A shiver runs down my spine: pure unadulterated fear. I provoked the devil. Have I taken on more than I can handle?
Unable to hold his gaze any longer, I look away. Stepping around him, I take my place on the side of the table away from him.
The tension in my muscles fades a lit
tle, only to ratchet up again when he drops into a chair across from me. His eyes snap to mine with his jaw set, a pulse ticking at his temple. A wave of emotion swirls in those eyes, a promise that the conversation is far from over.
8
Kris
I can sense the exact moment the witch pulls away. When she realizes the enormity of what she must take on, she loses her nerve. Her gaze skitters away as she brushes past me. For a second, I'm almost disappointed.
I'd given her just a glimpse into the churning emotions inside. I dropped all barriers and showed her who I am: pure unadulterated dominance…a male who'd possess his mate with such fierceness that she'd have to give herself to me completely first, before she finds herself again.
It's a level of submission that I cannot expect from anyone. One I wouldn’t want someone as young as Tara to experience. For would it not change her from deep inside? Her destiny sealed before she's even experienced life.
I can’t do that to her. I want her to be able to choose.
And yet I can’t deny the sheer chemistry, the connection that's simmered between us since the moment we set our eyes on each other.
Then, she looks up, her gaze guarded. Yet, there's a defiant tilt to her head I am coming to know well.
I hadn't scared her off after all. She's wary. She's right to be.
Only a fool would take the challenge I threw down lightly, and my witch is far from that.
Perhaps the only way to find out what's in store for us is to let her get closer, to give her a chance to get used to me.
She must sense the direction of my thoughts, for her tongue darts out to touch her lower lip.
I can't look away from the glistening flesh. It's all I can do not to go up to her and taste it.
Taste her.
Run my fingers over her skin, the curve of her hips. Pull her to me so those luscious breasts brush my chest. Just the thought of it makes me harden. A surge of need pumps through my blood; and for the first time since I saw her, I do nothing to bank my desire.
Claimed: Paranormal Romance (Immortals, Vampires and Shifters) (Many Lives Book 4) Page 3