by A. G. Khaliq
“And I tell you, none of the shit she just heard here will fucking matter. She won’t have it in her to leave. She’ll turn a blind eye to it, give me chance after chance, no matter what I throw at her, no matter what she finds out. She’ll cry like a bitch, wallow in self-pity. But the bitch loves me. She has nowhere else to go. She’s so stupid…as if I’d have feelings for a fucking stripper.”
I could feel the corners of my mouth form into a smirk. I hadn’t had this feeling for a long time. The feeling of a woman being completely at my submission. Completely at my mercy.
I fucking loved it.
Tariq and Luis found this just as amusing as I did. They roared with appreciative laughter beside me, hanging off my every word. Even they were my fucking lapdogs. They knew if they so much as looked at me the wrong way, I’d put a bullet through their fucking brains.
“Boss, that’s cold, man. But I rate you. With all that lying, you got to bed one hot chick.” Luis laughed.
“Well, I ain’t got time to do the whole commitment thing with women,” I snarled. “I’ve gotta focus on business and pushing product…expanding territory. Making money, getting more power, taking out rival cartels. Competing on the fucking streets.” I broke off. “Not women. A real man doesn’t have the time for fucking distractions.”
They nodded to me in approval. I took my box of cigarettes out of my pocket, putting one into my mouth, and then set it alight, allowing the smoke to cloud my lungs.
Needing to clear my head and relax.
raven
I sat in bed rubbing my eyes, staring at the ceiling as what happened today replayed itself over and over in my head, like a form of motherfucking torture.
I’d never seen this side of Lazarus before. He was always so sweet and kind to me. I don’t know what got into him.
The more I thought about it, the more I hounded myself with the different possibilities and outcomes that could have happened.
Maybe I went too far by following him.
Maybe I should have just minded my own business.
If I hadn’t followed him, maybe he would have stayed the sweet and charming man he was, and nothing would have been ruined between us. What I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me, right?
But it was too late now. I couldn’t undo it, and I had to deal with the aftermath.
But I didn’t expect him to be so misogynistic.
His opinion about strippers was wrong. There was no shame in being a stripper. At the end of the day, a job was a job, and everybody was just trying to put food on the table. Who had the right to knock another person’s hustle? Why should females be punished for a male’s dirty mind?
Maybe he just got angry in the heat of the moment. I didn’t want to believe Lazarus was a bad man. I wanted to see the best in him, even after everything I’d just found out.
After all, I did just find out he was a drug cartel kingpin, and not somebody who worked in an office.
I didn’t know what to do. Well and truly, I felt fucking stuck. I was damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
Maybe if I forgave Lazarus, we could move past this. Act like it never happened. Go back to normal.
I just didn’t want to go back to the life I had before I knew him…
He gave me that small, small glimmer of hope. Like he was my light at the end of the tunnel.
So I deliberately wanted to act oblivious to what was staring at me right in the face. Even if it killed me.
The sound of a voice caused me to jolt, and snap out of my thoughts. I did my best to compose myself and get myself together, pushing my harrowing thoughts to the back of my mind.
Wanting and needing to forget.
Lazarus was standing in front of me in just his boxers. He had a woeful expression on his face, like he was hurt and upset.
Just as upset as I was.
“Hey babe?” he breathed timidly.
I got up on my feet, shaking. Letting out a sigh as I regained my composure.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier,” he sighed. “I was out of line. I didn’t mean what I said.” He trailed off, letting out a deep exhalation. “You’re beautiful, and it isn’t your fault for what those men did to you. I just got angry because you’d found out about the cartel. I wanted to keep you away from it because I didn’t want to put you in danger, babe. It was better that you didn’t know…”
I could feel tears well in my eyes, but I bit my lip in an attempt to stop them spilling. I didn’t know if he was apologizing for the sake of it, or because he genuinely wanted to fix things between us…
But either way, I wanted to believe the latter. I wanted to believe what my heart wanted me to believe, even though my mind was screaming at me to believe different.
I wanted my own happily ever after. I didn’t want to see his flaws.
“And as for those members from all those years ago, I wasn’t in the Mafia business back then,” Lazarus explained. “So I wouldn’t have known who they even were, let alone have known about what they did to you. I’m sorry, babe. Do you forgive me?”
I found myself rubbing my chin, immersed in my own thoughts.
What he said was wrong, but how could I not forgive the man who saved me from my boss?
How could I not forgive the man who made my heart skip a beat every time he looked at me?
How could I not forgive the man who was providing for me and Sophia?
I gave him a nod, and a smile formed on his lips.
“We all make mistakes, babe…” I reassured him. “As long as it doesn’t happen again.”
I let out a sigh I didn’t know I was holding.
“And no more secrets,” I said, folding my arms.
“No more secrets,” Lazarus confirmed, his eyes piercing mine.
“Now come here, babe. I missed you.” I giggled as I watched him step closer, his eyes darkening with desire.
Even though I knew he was lying through his teeth.
“You don’t have to tell me twice, baby girl,” he growled, and then crashed his mouth down on mine, kissing me with such an urgency that it was hard to breathe. He was rough, passionate, and needy. He tore my clothes off, throwing me backwards onto the bed so my ass was in the air, and slapped my ass so hard I whimpered, biting down on the pillow to stop myself from screaming.
He slapped my ass again, one time, two times, three times…
Then he began rubbing it to soothe it, and lowered his body down onto mine, cupping my breasts from behind and leaving a trail of soft, wet kisses on my back that caused me to quiver and moan uncontrollably underneath his touch.
“So sexy…” he groaned, flipping me around and taking my nipples into his mouth. “So fucking sexy…”
I whimpered in pleasure, allowing him to continue having his way with me.
Not knowing what I was signing myself up for.
Not knowing that the worst was yet to come.
I’d survived a little argument…
But was I really ready to survive a war?
raven
“Bill, come tidy up the shop once you’re done in the kitchen!” Lucy called out as she sorted through the change in the till.
I was at my daytime shift at the coffee shop. Even though I’d been living with Lazarus, I didn’t want to leave this job, because Lucy was a great friend to me here, and I didn’t want to feel lonely. I wanted to make some money for myself too, so I didn’t feel like I was sponging off another man.
Lucy was a gorgeous woman, with creamy skin, big blue eyes, bright red hair, and we’d been friends for years. She was kind, funny, and caring, and was one of the few people who made my life bearable.
“Babe, I’m so happy to see you so smiley all the time,” she exclaimed, causing me to snap out of my thoughts. I smiled back at her, a blush creeping on my cheeks. Me and Lazarus had been good as ever for a while now, it was like I’d never found out about those things that day. I preferred it like this, with t
he bad stuff out of sight, out of mind. We could just focus on each other.
Being crazy in love.
“Thanks, babe.” I giggled.
“He must really be something, huh?” Lucy grinned. “You haven’t been able to wipe that smile off your face for weeks.”
I laughed, unable to stop blushing as I thought about Lazarus and the last few weeks we’d spent together. In bed, on dates…
“I love him, Lucy.” The words rolled out of my mouth.
“I know you do, babe.” Lucy giggled. “Just know that if he ever breaks your heart, he’ll have me to answer to.” She pointed her fingers up pretentiously.
I smiled.
“Man, I haven’t been out in so long,” I admitted. “Ever since I left the strip club, I’ve been in bed every night bingeing Netflix. I need a girls’ night out.”
“I know!” Lucy exclaimed. “Let’s go clubbing tonight. We both could do with it. I’ve been doing overtime at the shop for weeks too, I need to let my hair down and have some fun.”
“That’s just what I need!” I smiled. “I haven’t got drunk in so long.”
Lucy giggled in appreciation. “Let’s quickly tidy up the shop so we can go to town and buy ourselves some new outfits. Our shift is nearly over, anyway.”
She nodded towards the empty surroundings.
We both got to work, wiping down the surfaces with sanitizer, and cleaning out the coffee machines.
After an hour, we’d both cleaned up the shop, and we made our way downtown, walking through the shopping center, still wearing our uniforms.
“Which shop should we go to?” I murmured, as my eyes flashed around to the different stores, Next, New Look, Victoria’s Secret, Peacock’s, River Island, Selfridge’s, and more.
Lucy seemed distracted, and her eyes were fixated on something in front of her. I couldn’t quite figure out what she was so immersed in.
“Hello? Earth to Lucy?” I said, waving my hand in her face.
She remained stuck in her trance.
“Never mind the clothes,” she drawled, winking flirtatiously at somebody in front of her.
“Why? What the hell are you looking at?” I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to figure it out.
And then I realized she was staring at a man standing next to a bench, immersed on his phone. He had brown skin, black afro textured hair, dark brown eyes, thick eyebrows with a scar in one of them, a rough, rugged beard, and he was wearing a tight white tank shirt that emphasised his eight-pack. He was also wearing grey sweatpants, and black trainers. He had a black striped tattoo on his arm, which had skulls laced in every stripe.
“He is Daddy as fuck,” Lucy drawled.
I rolled my eyes, even though I couldn’t help but find myself intrigued about this man. His eyes darted upwards from his phone, and he realised we were both staring at him. A smirk formed on his face.
But he wasn’t looking at Lucy…
He was looking at me.
I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I did my best to look away, but before I knew it, he was walking towards us.
“Hey.” He smiled, his big brown eyes burning into mine.
“Hey handsome,” Lucy replied flirtatiously, biting her lip in anticipation.
The man coughed loudly.
“Actually, I was talking to the girl behind you,” he admitted awkwardly.
I jolted, taken aback by the forwardness of his words. Lucy looked annoyed, folding her arms, because she’d been drooling over him for the past half an hour. She turned around to face me.
“I’ll wait for you in Topshop, babe.” She smiled, shrugging. “You may as well see what he wants. Don’t be too long.”
I nodded, and she walked away, leaving me alone with this complete stranger. I found myself biting my lip in embarrassment, not knowing what I was possibly supposed to say or do in this situation.
He continued to hold his gaze with mine, and I couldn’t help but take this moment to look at him properly.
Before me stood possibly one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen.
He had this sexy bad boy look to him; his tight fitted top defined his muscles and his tattoo made him look even hotter.
I felt flushed. The only other guy who could make me feel like this was Lazarus. It was weird how this complete stranger was having an effect on me…and I didn’t know what to make of that. It felt wrong to be standing here in front of him, it felt like I should only have eyes for Lazarus. Nothing was happening, but I could feel my insides swim with nerves.
I coughed loudly, wanting to break the awkward silence. Wanting to see what he had to say for himself.
“So, how can I help you?” I mumbled.
He smirked, amused by what I’d just said, even though I had no idea what the hell was so funny.
“I saw you from across the mall, and I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you looked,” he admitted, smiling.
I was caught off guard, and I didn’t know how to react. I could feel my skin burning underneath his gaze.
“Ahm…” I stumbled. “Thank you.”
I scratched my arm awkwardly, feeling my throat suddenly go dry as the scene continued to play itself out.
“Look, I’m gonna get straight to the point,” he said, in a deep, raspy voice. His eyes were smoldering with lust. “You’re beautiful, and I wanna get to know you. I’d love to take you out on a date sometime.”
I let out a sigh. This was going too far now. He was attractive, and he was making a move on me. I couldn’t allow this to happen, because I was with another man. I had to take control of the situation and make him aware that I wasn’t interested.
“Sorry, I have a boyfriend,” I shot back.
The man rubbed his chin, appearing unphased by my response. Like me having a boyfriend didn’t even put him off getting what he wanted.
And I didn’t know what to make of that.
“Well, he’s not gonna be your boyfriend forever.” He smirked. “Nothing lasts forever, darling, especially with the fuckboys in this day and age.” He laughed. “Besides, he doesn’t have to know we’re seeing each other. But I know for sure I’d never get bored of you, babe. Once I had you as my woman, I’d never wanna let you go.”
I folded my arms, annoyed.
“Excuse me? Are you just here to give me a lecture on my relationship?” I snapped angrily. “Cos I’ll have you know, me and my boyfriend are very happy together. Thanks for your concern. Now if you’ll move, I’ve got shopping to do.”
This man seemed like an arrogant asshole who didn’t know how to handle rejection. I didn’t want to stay around him for a minute longer.
He looked a little taken aback.
“Hey, I was just joking,” he said. “I respect that you’re in a relationship. I’m not about to steal another man’s woman away from him. I wasn’t raised that way.”
My cheeks burned with embarrassment, and I suddenly felt bad for having a go at him.
“But there’s no harm in being friends, is there?” he asked hopefully, his eyes glinting.
I scratched my arm awkwardly, not knowing how to rectify this situation.
Friends…?
I could do that.
“Erm…I guess not,” I stumbled.
Everything was happening so fast that I didn’t even know what to say anymore.
“Here, take my number.” He smirked.
Before I had the chance to realise what I was doing, I handed my phone over to him, allowing him to tap his number into my keypad and save it into my contacts. This felt wrong, and I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty inside. I knew he was just asking to be friends, but I couldn’t help but think of what Lazarus would make of this if I told him I took the number of a stranger from the mall.
I pushed my doubts to the back of my head, not wanting to overthink the situation and make myself miserable. There was nothing wrong with having friends, right?
“Okay, thanks…” I mumbled as I shoved my phon
e back into my pocket.
The man’s eyes continued to burn into mine. It was hard to read him. It was like he was a mystery, full of untold secrets.
“I’m gonna leave you to do your shopping, I’ve got some stuff to do.” He smiled, waving at me. “I’ll see you around.”
He turned, and began walking away.
“Wait!” I found myself calling out to him, the word rolling off my tongue before I had the chance to stop it.
“What?” he asked, turning back to face me. He looked amused, and satisfied with himself.
“I didn’t get your name,” I mumbled.
He chuckled.
“You’ll find out soon!” He shrugged, and then shot me a wink that caused my heart to do flip-flops. I didn’t know what this feeling was, but I knew I had better shut it off before I ended up doing something I would regret later.
“That was…weird,” I muttered to myself awkwardly. I rolled my eyes, doing my best to play it off as nothing. I began to walk, one foot in front of the other, ready to make my way back to Lucy.
I met Lucy in Topshop, just like we agreed. She was standing next to the high heels rack, looking frustrated and bored.
“I was waiting for you for ages!” she shot at me as she watched me approach. “What did he want, anyway?”
“You can have him,” I sneered. “I told him I have a boyfriend, and I’m not interested.”
Lucy rolled her eyes, unimpressed.
“You must be hella whipped over Lazarus to turn down a guy as sexy as that,” she retorted, laughing. “I know one day in bed with him would be enough for me to forget my own name.”
I couldn’t help but giggle back in response. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. The man was very attractive. I just didn’t want to have an affair with somebody and cheat on Lazarus after how good he had been to me lately.
“Anyway, I found some outfits for us to try,” Lucy went on, signaling some clothes she’d picked out. “I’ve already picked mine, now you choose yours.”