“He would leave me Jamie. He thinks that I am this unpretentious woman who wants to be a designer. He would hate me,” Callie lamented.
“But Cal you do want to be a designer. At least you did. What’s stopping you really?” Jamie inquired.
“Come on Jam, who would take me seriously? I would just be Lara Hughes daughter,” she said with a cynical laugh.
“I would. And not because you’re my best friend. You really have a talent. Callie you can be more than you are. Look at all the ideas you gave your mother. You’re allowed to have dreams,” Jamie stated.
“Those were just small suggestions,” Callie protested.
“No they weren’t Cal. Those suggestions are being worn by women all over the world. Your mother’s line blew up with twenty-somethings when you started making these so called suggestions. Before that you have to admit neither of us would be caught in a Lara Hughes dress,” Jamie insisted.
“I can never be my mother,” Callie said.
“Callista. You don’t have to be. Look at that amazing dress you made for your date. When Kale sees you in it he’s going to flip. You are talented. And sorry but you shouldn’t have to apologize for being you. You have the resources. Use it. Follow your dream Callie.”
“And is yours really running the company?” Callie asked.
“To be honest no. I just want my dad to be proud of me. To view me as worthy as James. If I had a different life, I would be happy just being partner. I don’t have to be the CEO. I just want to know that I could be. That my dad would support me if I ever decided I wanted to.”
“Jamie why do I get to have dreams and you don’t?” Callie questioned.
“I don’t know,” Jamie said sighing.
“Jamie. This breakup was the best thing to happen to you. You met two great guys. You’re finally brokering deals out of the shadow of your dad. No one can deny that you’re not able to run the company. You’ve been working hard for this your whole life. Jamie it’s time to start living. We only get one life.”
“That was profound Cal. Is this about your relationship with Kale?” Jamie asked.
“Absolutely. Jamie it’s time that the both of us start living for us and not by the expectations of other people.” Callie proclaimed.
Jamie couldn’t agree more.
*****
Callie and Jamie were enjoying a lazy evening together, she had had a long day at work, and was sitting on Jamie’s bed painting their toes when someone rang their doorbell.
“Are you expecting Phil or Ben?” Callie asked.
“No. Not today,” Jamie replied.
“I’ll get it,” Callie said getting up.
Jamie heard muted voices coming from the foyer and got up to see what was going on. Standing in the living room hugging Callie was a familiar face.
“Mom,” Jamie cried and went to embrace her mother.
Olivia Redding looked young for her fifty-two years. She wore a tasteful pants suit Jackie O-esque. She looked around the condo curiously.
“I’ll get us drinks,” Callie announced.
“What are you doing here mother?” Jamie asked.
“I am here with Vincent,” her mother stated.
Jamie’s mother had been dating Vincent Groves, an insanely wealthy oil tycoon for the past fifteen years. About five years ago, after a health scare, Vincent had gladly handed over reign of the company to his children and was now enjoying retirement with Olivia. They were always vacationing all over the world but nowhere near as common as Los Angeles. Jamie had not seen her mother since Christmas though she spoke to her often on the phone.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I just spoke to you last Saturday,” Jamie questioned.
“I wasn’t sure that I was coming,” Olivia stated.
“Mom, why are you really here?” Jamie asked, suspicious.
“Well Jamie to be frank, I was worried about you. After the breakup with Steven you fly across the country and all you kept telling me was that you were fine.”
“But I am fine mother,” Jamie insisted.
“I wanted to see it for myself,” Olivia said.
Callista came back carrying a tray with white wine spritzers.
“So now that you see are you satisfied?” Jamie asked slightly annoyed.
“Jamie, I just want you to be happy,” Olivia stated.
“How long are you staying mother?” Jamie asked.
“Just until tomorrow night,” she replied.
“Where are you staying?” Jamie asked.
“I’m staying across the hall. Your father was nice enough to let me stay in one of the furnished condos.”
“You spoke to dad?” Jamie asked incredulously.
“Your father and I are friends,” Olivia protested.
“Hardly,” Jamie countered.
“Okay. Then we’re cordial. Especially when it comes to you.”
“I don’t believe this. You and him talking about me. I’m not a child anymore. I’m thirty years old. I am fully capable of handling my own life,” Jamie said through gritted teeth.
“Of course you are. Jamie I was worried. I didn’t want you here in a strange city all alone and depressed. I just wanted to make sure you were really okay.”
“Mother I wasn’t depressed over Steven. Sad yes, but depressed? Not even a little bit. Steven messed up. I didn’t.”
“I know Jamie but you’re absolutely right. You are thirty. I don’t want you to end up alone.”
“Mother, I am fully capable of living my life without a man. And for your information I happen to be dating an amazing man.”
“You are? What man?” Olivia asked.
“Mother,” Jamie said wearily pinching the bridge of her nose.
Callie had remained unusually quiet during the entire exchange but now Olivia addressed her directly.
“Callista have you met this man?” Olivia asked.
Callie almost choked on her drink.
“I…yes. He’s very nice. He is really good to her,” Callie stated.
“And what is his name?” Olivia probed.
She looked at Jamie for help.
“It’s Philip Steele. He’s a lawyer at my firm,” Jamie replied.
Jamie had decided that Phil would be the better choice between the two, that her mother would most approve of. He was older, stable if she happened to ask around about him.
“So do I get to meet him?” Olivia asked.
“No mother. You do not get to meet him,” Jamie said exasperated.
“Fine,” Olivia said. “Let’s go and get dinner.”
Jamie had thought that her mother would have dropped the subject, especially after an enjoyable dinner but when she knocked on Phil’s door the next morning she was shocked to find him sitting with Olivia.
“What are you doing here?” she accused.
Phil gave her an amused but apologetic look.
“Since you were hiding him from me I thought I would come meet Mr. Steele for myself,” Olivia stated.
“I wasn’t hiding him. I was, mother this is highly inappropriate,” Jamie fumed.
“It’s fine Jamie,” Phil interjected. “Your mother is a lovely woman.”
Jamie gritted her teeth when Phil invited Olivia to lunch. So Jamie had no choice to endure the interrogation in silent fury that she knew was coming. Phil was great. They went not to one of their usual spots but to an upscale Italian café that she knew her mother would enjoy, Phil’s idea. He was gracious to Olivia and gushed about Jamie. He was convincing even to her and she wondered if the feelings he professed might be real.
After lunch Jamie saw her mother to her car service and went in search of Phil.
“Phil. I am so sorry,” Jamie lamented.
“It’s okay. I have a mother too. I know what they can be like,” he replied.
“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot but she was asking questions last night and had I known that she would have come here…” Jamie said shaking her head
.
Phil strode over to where Jamie stood and hugged her, stealing a small kiss.
“You didn’t tell her anything untrue. We are dating. Maybe not seriously or quite at the meet the parents stage but you’re not just a normal woman. You’re her daughter. I’m sure she was just concerned. I’ll see you tomorrow night and we’ll laugh about it,” he said.
His words stung just a little. She had thought that maybe meeting her mother had made Phil want to get serious, especially the act that he put on for Olivia, but she realized his stance had not changed. He was just doing this for her, to save face in front of Olivia. Instead she nodded, confirming their plans and kissed him goodbye.
If the fiasco with her mother wasn’t enough, she now had a crisis with her newest project. The had not secured the necessary permits and construction was now at a halt. Jamie wished that Phil was on board but he was busy with the Wright Square. She spent the rest of her day on the phone trying to get things rolling.
At around six, Jamie came home after a long day, exhausted. She had left work late, finally obtaining the necessary paperwork to continue building. She had been in a particularly foul mood since lunch. She hoped that her mother had stayed across the hall, she couldn’t deal with her right now. Jamie needed a moment and then she would go see her to say goodbye. When she turned the key in the door however she heard her mother’s laughter and another voice that made her want to faint.
Olivia’s appearance at work and her mind occupied with what Phil had said, and the problems with the new property had distracted Jamie so much that she had forgotten to call Ben and cancel their plans.
“Ben,” Jamie said.
“Hi Jamie”, Ben said clearly amused.
“An interesting thing happened earlier,” Olivia chimed in. “There I was coming over to see you, you’re late by the way, when I happened upon this charming young man knocking on your door. I thought it might have been Kale, the one Callista spoke of at dinner but as it turns out he was looking for you Jamie. So invited him in to wait,” she finished with a pointed look at Jamie.
Jamie could feel Olivia’s gaze on her and she knew she was bursting to say something else. Jamie gave Callie a piercing look, who shrugged as if to say sorry.
“I’m so sorry I forgot to call you. Um can I speak to you outside for a moment?” Jamie asked.
“Olivia it was great to meet you,” Ben said following Jamie to the door.
When Jamie returned a few minutes later, without Ben, she was ready. Her arms folded she stared at Olivia. Callie sensing the tension decided this would be a great time to head out.
“Well Ms. Redding it was so great to see you,” Callie said hugging Olivia. “I won’t be back before your car arrives. Have fun in Greece.”
She patted Jamie’s arm on the way out. Olivia waited until they heard the door close before she turned her attention on Jamie.
“Jamie Katherine Redding Wright. Are you insane?” Olivia said angrily.
“Mother you don’t…”
“How could you cheat on Philip? I mean I see why you are attracted to Ben, he’s well, he’s very handsome but Philip is such a good man Jamie.”
“Mom I’m trying to- “
“Especially with what happened with you and Steven. Is this your way of getting revenge Jamie?” Olivia asked.
“No, of course not,” Jamie countered.
“Because Philip is not the one who hurt you. He doesn’t deserve this. He’s not Steven. You need to end this thing with Ben right away.”
“Mother can you listen to me for a minute? You don’t understand,” Jamie reasoned.
“Are you or are you not sleeping with both Philip and Ben?” Olivia interrogated.
“Yes. Wait that is none of your business. None of this is your business,” Jamie said angrily.
“Jamie,” Olivia admonished.
“Look mom. Let me explain something to you. Yes, I am dating both Ben and Philip. They are both great men and here’s another thing. I’m not sorry and I don’t feel guilty. Times have changed since you were young mother.”
“That may be Jamie but I would think considering you just had your heart broken over a cheating incident you would be a little more concerned about doing it yourself. You know what it felt like to be hurt.”
“No one is getting hurt mother. Listen. Neither Phil nor Ben have asked to be exclusive. If either of them had, then I would certainly make the choice to let one of them go. Neither of them want anything serious and to be honest neither do I. I just did the relationship thing. Right now I’m having fun,” Jamie explained.
“Jamie what would people say if they knew? They would say you were a…a…”
“A what exactly?” Jamie fumed.
“I’m not judging you Jamie. Your generation is far more progressive than my own. I just could imagine the gossip,” Olivia said in mock indignation.
“Actually Mother my opinion is the only one that matters. I really don’t give a damn what anyone else has to say,” Jamie said pointedly.
“I see,” Olivia replied. “And they both agreed to this…arrangement?”
“Yes. Well no. Ben knows that I am seeing someone else but I haven’t told Phil,” Jamie admitted.
“Don’t you think he has the right to know? Make his own choice if he’s okay with this Jamie,” Olivia probed.
“Yes I do. I plan on telling him. I was getting to know them first,” Jamie stated.
“Jamie I don’t like this at all. In fact, I am so disappointed that you would…”
The rest of her sentence was cut short by the doorbell.
“That’s my car. I asked the doorman to send up the driver to help with my bag when he arrived,” Olivia said.
“Okay mother,” Jamie said softly.
“Maybe I should stay Jamie. It’s obvious that you need me here. You’re going down this terrible path and I don’t know what to tell you,” Olivia said sadly.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I promise you I am fine. This is what I want. Right now I can’t devote myself to a relationship. I wish you could understand. You’re living your life; you don’t answer to anyone. It’s time that I live mine too. I’m not going to feel guilty about this. I won’t.”
“Jamie and this…are you happy?” Olivia said holding on to Jamie’s hands.
“Yes mom,” Jamie said smiling. “I really and truly am very happy. Please trust me mom.”
Jamie carried her mother’s bag to the door and handed it to the driver. Then she gave her mother a tight embrace. She could tell that her mother was still either disappointed or angry. Maybe she was just scared for her, Jamie thought. Scared that she would get hurt again. Jamie closed the door and thought about everything that she had told Olivia. It was true, but Callie was right.
“Ben? Yeah I’m on my way,” Jamie said into her cellphone.
It was time that she started living her life for her.
Chapter 7
Jamie met Ben at his apartment. They had missed the movie they wanted to see but Ben had rented a bunch of classic horror movies, his favorite genre, and had ordered pizza. Jamie lit up as soon as she saw him, her bad mood lifting immediately. Her smile was so sad that Ben pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him and drew him close, kissing him urgently. He pulled back and looked at her seriously.
“Hey you okay?” he asked kissing her on her forehead.
“Yeah I’m fine. Just tired,” Jamie said
“Well then come and snuggle with me,” he said leading her to the couch.
Ben turned on one of the movies and put Jamie’s feet in his lap giving her a much needed foot massage. Then he moved on to massaging her calves and her thighs. He told her to lay on her belly and then he rubbed her shoulders and her back.
“Oh that feels so good,” she said after a few minutes.
“I can make you feel even better. Take your pants off,” Ben said huskily.
Jamie did as he asked, unbuttoning her jeans, Ben help
ed her to slide them off. He removed his own jeans and shirt. Ben laid her on her back and began kissing her all over her body, Jamie moaning at his every touch. He pulled her shirt off and sat her on top of his lap so that she was facing him. She could feel him, hard against her. They made love, Jamie riding Ben while he held her close until he came inside of her. The movies forgotten, the pizza cold, he picked her up and carried her to his room. It was unlike any other time before. Ben had sensed something was wrong with Jamie and instead of their usual energetic sessions, he loved her slow. She could get used to this, she thought as she fell asleep in his arms. It was late, early morning when Jamie drove home. Content.
The next day she and Phil had a dinner date followed by a night at the theater. The play was a production from a local writer and friend of Phil’s. It was a simple love story: boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy tries to get girl back. During the intermission Phil introduced Jamie to his friends. He never said the word girlfriend, rather he introduced her around as his friend Jamie. She didn’t mind but she noticed some looks from some of them, probably trying to guess what their relationship actually was. When they returned to their seats Phil held Jamie’s hand. The gesture was sweet and intimate. Jamie leaned against him loving the feel of his body next to hers. Phil could be romantic like that sometimes. She loved that side of him.
She and Phil had mind blowing sex when they returned to his house after the play. He gave her one of his shirts to wear and asked her to spend the night. Maybe they weren’t serious, or exclusive but this worked for her. Because the truth was she was falling in love with Phil. The only problem was that she felt exactly the same way about Ben. When she was with Phil she didn’t think about Ben and when she was with Ben she didn’t think about Phil. It was in the quiet moments alone that she missed them and thought about them both. She didn’t want to have to choose.
*****
The next evening, Sunday, she helped Callie get ready for her big date. She and Kale would be going to the orchestra. Callie was excited because Kale would see her completed ball gown. It was probably the best dress she had ever designed. She seemed nervous. Jamie was unsure why she should be. The dress was unbelievable. Jamie had surprised Callie by hiring a make-up artist and hairstylist to complete the look.
In Too Deep_BWWM Romance Page 21