Catalyst Part I

by L D Strawser

  “Let’s talk of our dreams first,” he said walking from my bedroom into the dining room, “in one of mine you seem to have abilities that you do not now currently possess. No other humans have these abilities either, can you tell me anything about that?”

  Uh oh, I had a feeling I knew what he was referring to but I was oath bound and honor bound not to divulge that information.

  ~Is he referring to you?~

  ~WE are not certain, it would be best to have him tell you more than to give anything away~

  “What abilities, what exactly did you dream?” That was a logical question considering his statement and it gave nothing away. Perhaps I could lead him to think that I hadn’t acquired these abilities yet and therefore could not know anything about them.

  “Very well, I can see that you do not completely trust me yet, but you will, and in the interest of trying to gain that trust I will tell you my dream.” He smiled as he said this and seemed sincere in his hopes that I would eventually trust him.

  “This particular dream takes place on my ship. We are surrounded by a crowd representing most of the races of the Brenthin Empire. You are angry with me for standing in the way of what you want to do and I am even angrier with you because of what you plan on doing. You are prepared to fight me to the death to accomplish your task and because of the circumstances no one is willing to interfere with us, including my body guard. I must tell you now—I will not allow you to harm them. I will die to defend them.” He had the do-not-defy-me look in his eyes again.

  “Are you telling me that in your dream you are defending the lives of people that you think I am there to kill? I would never kill anyone other than in self defense and even then I would attempt to spare their life.” I couldn’t believe that he would think that I was capable of cold blooded murder. He obviously wasn’t as adept at dreaming as he claimed if that was the conclusion he had come to from that dream. I knew the dream he was talking about because in it I wasn’t trying to kill anyone I was trying to save them from him. He had kidnapped them to use against me knowing I would do anything for them. Should I continue to deny that I had had the same dream but from a wholly different perspective or should I admit that I had had that same dream but he was the one who was causing harm not me?

  “I know the dream of which you speak and in it you have committed the crime and I am trying to save them from you.” It was satisfying to see the anger that flashed in his eyes, it meant that either I had touched a nerve or he didn’t like being accused of wrong doing any more than I did.

  “You dare to imply that I would harm them? You who have been responsible for many deaths because of your lack of control, your disregard for life? I was the one trying to save them from you and your power that you refused to control. You would not succumb to my power and I had no choice but to act in their best interests since you would not.” He was so angry he was shaking, he had snatched his hand out of mine the moment I had accused him of a crime. Now he was turning an even darker blue—I wasn’t sure if he was choking on his anger or simply losing all control of it.

  I on the other hand was having the exact opposite reaction—he was right about the deaths, he was even right about my disregard for life—at least in the past. He didn’t realize that I had learned from my mistakes. Perhaps I hadn’t—what if he was right and I repeated the mistakes of my past? Would there be anyone that could be safe from me if I lost control like that again? He could be the one who was in the right when it came to this particular dream. I had been so certain that I knew myself that it never occurred to me that I might be the one who was wrong.

  “I apologize for the accusation. You must understand that from my point of view I honestly thought I was protecting them from you and that I was not the danger. You are right to hold me to account for my past actions. I have tried to change since then.” I looked into his eyes hoping he could see the sincerity in mine. I reached for his hand but he jerked it away.

  “Will you submit to me? Allow me to put controls on your mind so that I will be able to prevent you from harming anyone like that again?” His eyes were now blazing with intensity and obvious resolve. I could see that he planned to implant a suggestion whether I allowed it or not. Suddenly I was coughing and choking uncontrollably, my eyes were tearing up and I could no longer see his face.

  ~WE apologize for interfering but WE cannot allow him to implant this particular suggestion. WE would be too vulnerable and he could force you to tell him about US~

  ~I understand, thanks, I didn’t want to be his mind slave at any cost so you did the right thing in breaking eye contact~

  I stood up and went to the kitchen looking for a glass of water as a distraction. How could I word a denial without making him angry? What could I possibly say that would make him forget about bending me to his will against my wishes? Before he showed up tonight all I could think about was getting closer to him, now I just wanted to be as far from him as possible.

  ~WE are attempting to find a solution. If you could stall him for a while WE may be able to come up with a way for you to appear to be under his influence but still in control of your mind~

  ~Please hurry. I do not want to be a slave to his wishes even if they were to coincide with my own~

  My eyes were itching again like they had before when they had created filtering eyelids for me to see the Agorotani ship. If I could be absolutely certain that he would not overstep any boundaries I wouldn’t mind someone else having control of my gifts in order to prevent me from killing anyone else. The problem was how could I trust him not to use my power for whatever he wished? He had already admitted to needing help with a war and by definition that meant he had killed as well. Maybe in that lay my answer. Perhaps I should use his own guilt against him as he had done to me.

  “How do I know you would not force me to use my gifts to kill your enemies in your war? You came here to ask for my help in a war and then you have the nerve to accuse me of murder when what you have done is the same and with as little justification as I had. I was not in complete control and in most cases had no idea of my power. You on the other hand have the power of life and death over your people and you intentionally exercise it to the benefit of whom? Your Empire? The good of your people? The good of some to the detriment of others? I cannot submit to you because I cannot trust your motives, if I thought you would only keep me from killing people I would gladly submit but once you have that control over me you will use it for your own purposes.”

  I was shaking with fear because I knew that if he chose to he could kill me with a swing of his hand. The doctor implied that in the infirmary when he had raised his hand to smack me. The force he would have used would have killed me, and yet the look on his face had suggested that he did not want my death. I could feel his approach even though his boots made little in the way of sound. I was afraid to meet his eyes knowing what he was capable of and that I would not be able to prevent it. His hands came down gently onto my shoulders. I flinched reflexively at the touch. His face leaned down towards my ear and I made the mistake of breathing through my nose. His scent was just as powerful as before if not more so. My head swam with desire. I wanted so much more from him than a touch on my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my ear before he spoke.

  “I would never do anything to harm you and I would never kill for the sake of killing. I only wanted to protect them from a possible future, nothing more.” His hands slid down my arms and now my whole body was about to betray me. If he was being honest then I could look into his eyes without fear, but if he was lying, I would betray those who trusted me and the future of my entire world just because I wanted a kiss. Was a kiss worth the world? Did he even want to kiss me or was he simply trying to turn me around in order to look me in the eyes. I closed my eyes and allowed him to turn me around to face him.

  He placed his hands on my face—he lightly touched my eyelids but didn’t attempt to force them open. My heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my ches
t. His fingers felt like solid silk, they were so soft but powerful at the same time. He touched my nose and then his fingers traced my lips. I thought I would burst into flames, surely he could feel the heat coming off of my skin in waves.

  “Look at me.” It was a request by the tone of his voice. I wanted to look at him but what if he was doing this to get me to open my eyes so he could use his gift to implant controls in my mind?

  ~WE believe you will be able to look him in the eyes without fear of him implanting any suggestions into your mind~

  ~What have you done?~

  ~WE have created a filter WE believe will prevent him from accessing your mind~

  ~You are certain enough to risk it all now?~

  ~Yes~

  I wasn’t so certain and my hesitation and internal conversation took long enough that he asked again.

  “Look at me, I will not do anything that you do not want me to do, you have my word.” He spoke so softly that it was barely above a whisper. Now I had a choice, I could look and hope that whatever the Nanites had done worked or not look and make him angry but save my sanity and possibly the lives of billions of people.

  I slowly opened my eyes and only proved to myself that my disregard for life was still present regardless of my supposed changes. The intensity in his beautiful face was not what I had been expecting. I had feared that he would be looking into my eyes in order to control my mind. Now I realized that he wasn’t concerned with my mind at all. He was looking at me with another kind of intensity that I recognized from my dreams.

  “Do you want me to speak the words?” I wasn’t sure what words he was talking about now but if it made him happy then he could say whatever he liked.

  “What do you want to say to me?” My heart was pounding even harder now that I was looking at his face. His hands were still cupping my face under my jaw and his thumbs were stroking my lips in slow motion. With each stroke I thought I would burn with wanting him.

  “You are the wife of my heart and in all things of the heart I will obey you willingly.” OK not exactly what I had been expecting but enthralling none the less.

  “What does that mean exactly?”

  My question seemed to bother him for some reason as if I shouldn’t have asked or something. My point was if he had to obey me in all things of the heart what was in my jurisdiction and what was not in my jurisdiction? Where did my authority lie? What were the limits? Did he expect to have the same kind of power over me?

  “You are supposed to respond with the same phrase and it means that we are bonded until an official ceremony can be performed. It also means that you and I may touch each other without requesting our families’ permission. You wear my ring already all that is necessary now is your acquiescence. If you do not give it then I will leave you alone and never see you again.”

  He had my full and undivided attention now. Never see him again? The words were like ice water down my spine. I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.

  “You are the husband of my heart and in all things of the heart I will obey you willingly.” It appeared that I had gone from being freshly broken up with to being engaged in less than a forty-eight hour time period. I wondered what my parents would think of my fiancée. I knew what I thought and now every thought I had was flying out of my head because he was leaning in slowly and pulling my face towards his lips. He started off gently crushing his lips to mine but his hands moved to the back of my head and then one of them moved to the small of my back and pulled me closer to his body. My arms wrapped around him in an effort to crush my body closer to his. I couldn’t seem to get close enough to satisfy this desperate need.

  There was a loud crash and suddenly I was on the floor with one of his body guards aiming a weapon at my face. His hand was on my throat and I thought I would choke more from embarrassment than from that ham fisted jerk crushing my larynx.

  “Get your hands off of me,” I managed to cough out. His weapon inched closer to my face.

  “What do you think you are doing? We are bonded now. She is to be my wife.” Big and Burley’s eyes widened at this announcement. Maybe he didn’t think I was good enough for his Zan’Pah’rah, or maybe he just enjoyed attacking me from behind. It was the same smiling psycho I had insulted on the ship. Just my luck, right when I finally get to kiss Pan’Ar his body guards decide to attack.

  “You disappeared and we had to track you down. She is not worthy of you or our family.” All the same it seemed he had no choice but to release me which he did very reluctantly. He got to his feet and headed for the door.

  “None of the wives will approve of her and you will be outcast.”

  Chapter Four

  5000 years ago… Earth, somewhere east of the Mississippi River

  Among the tribes of the Rolling Forests of the Wild Cat this was a day that would be sung about for all time. The daughter of the most skilled seer of the White Bark Tree Owl tribes had accepted the offerings of the seer of the River of Green Spirit Fish tribes. Such a match had never been sung of before. It was rumored that if Haleawa had been a male she would have been trained by her father as a seer. The songs of female seers were sad and tragic. Most could not tolerate the death and destruction they would see and usually died young by their own hand. Haleorha hoped that by not teaching his daughter that she would escape that sorry fate. He hoped this union would produce many children and she would be too busy and too happy to see the disturbing images he saw every night now.

  Gogeeha had seen the same things that Haleorha had been seeing. When he spoke to Haleorha of these visions it was only by chance that Haleorha’s daughter had come in and interrupted them. Gogeeha had seen her face in the one vision that spoke of hope but never thought he would be able to find the woman in his vision. When their eyes met they both knew in that instant that they would be joined.

  Gogeeha felt hope that his descendents would be able to defeat the Great Enemy from the Sky. Even Haleorha saw the wisdom of the union when he too had a new vision that showed that humans would at least have a fighting chance. What surprised him was that there would be a union between the people of the Rolling Forests and the Pale Riders of Big Waters who he did not trust. In his visions the Pale Ones have all but overrun and destroyed the world of the Rolling Forests but that would be nothing compared to the Great Enemy from the Sky.

  Present… Earth, Sierra Vista, Arizona

  Damn! I am running very late for work. I knew that I would probably be fired—again. Keeping a job was very difficult for some reason. If there was such a thing as a job that anyone could do, I could lose it within a week. It’s not because I’m lazy or uncooperative or even stupid—because I’m none of those things. I just can’t seem to keep my mind on what I’m doing for any length of time. I’m easily distracted and once distracted I forget what I was supposed to be doing. Add to that the temper of a wet cat and you get someone who gets fired—a lot. My mom was very forgiving of these little faults but few others were as forgiving as her.

  Waitressing for Johnny’s was just the latest in a string of employers who took a chance on me only to be disappointed later by my lack of focus. I pulled around to the back parking lot the employees used. I grabbed my small purse and ran for the employee entrance. I was hoping to make it to my tables before anyone noticed I hadn’t clocked in yet. It was a faint hope but it was all I had. As I entered the small locker room and threw my purse in, Susan—a nice waitress who didn’t seem to mind my mental problems—caught my eye and mouthed the words ‘watch out’ in a clear warning. That could mean only one thing, the boss was here and he wasn’t happy.

  “Daphne, is there a good reason why I shouldn’t fire you? Do you get some sort of high out of being fired from every job you have ever had? Don’t give me any excuses, just get your tail out there and take care of your customers, if we weren’t so busy you would be out of here.” Nick continued to grouch and grumble as he walked away shaking his head. At least he wasn’t throwing things this time.
This had to be a personal first for me, this was the fourth time I was late in the second week at a new job and he hadn’t fired me yet. Susan looked at me with raised eyebrows and I shrugged my shoulders and went to work.

  Two of my tables were occupied by regulars of Johnny’s and the other tables with customers coming in from a local carnival that was in town for the week. They were taking a break from putting together the rides that most people shied away from because they looked a little too dangerous and unstable. As I walked up to ask them for their order the woman who was with them looked at me as if she recognized me from somewhere. I’d never seen her before but I constantly got this look from total strangers so it didn’t surprise me. Her eyes almost popped out of her head and she began speaking rapidly to her companions in another language. It was probably some eastern European language by the sound of it. With all the immigrants after the Wall fell back in ’89 it was hard to tell where they might be from exactly.

  As I approached their table her conversation became more animated with the two men and she seemed to be trying to convince them of something important. When she looked into my eyes again fear was written plainly on her face. I had never inspired fear in anyone my entire life and yet she obviously feared me and I had no idea why. So I smiled my brightest waitress smile and asked for their order.

  “Hey, how are ya’all doing today? My name is Daphne and I’ll be taking care of you today so, what can I get for you?” My friendliness didn’t seem to impress the woman but the men were paying attention.

  “We will have two cheeseburger platters and a grilled chicken salad with Catalina dressing,” the larger of the two men replied.

  “And what would you like to drink with that?”

  “A pitcher of beer,” he said with a wink.