by Soraya Lane
“What are you doing?”
“Checking out your ass. What does it look like I’m doing?” He winked and took another step closer, putting down the knife and folding his arms across his chest.
“Jack! Stop it.”
“Well, you said Texas, but…”
She grabbed one of the napkins from the table and threw it at him. “In your dreams, cowboy. Now get back to carving that bird.”
Maddison was blushing and there was nothing she could do about it. Jack was making her feel… like there was a whole lot more going on here than just friendship. Or maybe she was reading too much into it.
She looked up again and caught him staring at her, eyes twinkling like he knew exactly what she was thinking.
“Dinner looks amazing,” she told him, refusing to be embarrassed about the fact that her former best friend had checked out her butt. And she’d liked it.
Things had changed between them, there was no denying it, but she didn’t want things to feel different. When he’d held her before, she’d slotted straight into his arms like she was supposed to be there. It had felt like there was a charge running between them that had surged her back into life, made her feel like the old Maddison and not the overworked, heart broken one.
“You, ah, make the gravy yourself?”
“Yes, ma’am. From the pea water.”
Maddison laughed. “Jack, how is it that I’m sitting in your kitchen, with you wearing an apron? The last time I saw you, I don’t even think you were capable of boiling an egg. You were good at making up horse feed and that was about it.”
He put one hand on his hip like he was about to sass her, before bursting into laughter. “You seriously don’t know?”
“Know what?” She had no idea what he was talking about.
“If you want to know why I’m cooking virtually the same meal as your mom was going to, it’s because she taught me.” He grinned. “She told me that if I wouldn’t join them for dinner a few years back, then she’d damn well teach me how to cook for myself. So now I’m exceptionally good at a few meals, and really crap at everything else.”
Now it was Maddison grinning. Her mom? She’d hardly learned her mom’s recipes, and here was Jack Gregory making her family’s gravy. “Not bad, Jack Rabbit, not bad at all.”
She knew that would get a rise out of him, the name she’d called him years ago, and he fired another wink her way. Only this one sent a ripple down her spine that forced her to look away.
“I’m trying to impress you here, Maddie,” he said, eyes flitting from her to the chicken and back again. “All these years you’ve spent in L.A. with fancy city boys made me want to show you that I’m not just some hick rancher, I guess.”
“Oh, Jack.” Was he serious? “You have no idea the kind of men I’ve met over the past few years, and I can tell you right now that they’ve got nothing on you.”
She took a nervous sip of wine, avoiding his gaze rather than having to look up at him. But there was no way she couldn’t look at him – his chocolate brown eyes kept on drawing her in. Forced her to stay focused on him. And if she was going to say things like that, then she needed to own her words.
“So you’re single?” His voice was gruff, like he wasn’t sure how to ask her.
He was focused on carving again, and it gave her time to study him and wonder what the hell she was doing feeling this attracted to the man. Was it because he was safe? Because he was comfortable and reminded her of the great times they’d had together before life had become complicated by feelings and adult worries? Or was it just that he’d turned into such a gorgeous man that no woman could be expected not to feel like that about him?
“I’m surprised my dad hasn’t told you about my love life.” She answered, sighing and stared into her wine.
“I’ve spent plenty of time with your dad lately, but we tend to talk about heifers and horses more than romance.” Jack was grinning again, the unpleasant silence gone. “I always asked after you, but you know men. We kind of focus on the easy stuff.”
“So he never mentioned that I was getting married?”
Jack stopped carving then and set the knife down. His face hardened as he paused to watch her, slow and steady. “Married?”
“Yup,” she said, twirling her glass between her fingers. “Or at least I was, until something, um,” she swallowed hard, refusing to go back in time to what had happened. “It’s over.” Maddison wasn’t going to elaborate, not now.
Jack glared at her then, his face tight with anger. “And?” he demanded, his voice deeper than she’d ever heard it.
“Seriously, Jack, can we just leave that story for another day? It’s not something I want to focus.”
Jack looked angry but he managed a laugh. The kind of laugh that told her he’d never let anyone mess with her if he could help it. “You tell the bastard that you can shoot a can square in the center from a mile off?”
It was funny how talking about it with Jack was making her smile instead of cry. “When I confronted him he left kind of quickly, so maybe someone had already told him.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Jack told her, piling two plates with food before leaning forward to place one of them in front of her. “You deserve better than some asshole, Maddie. Way better. And from the look on your face I can tell that he was an asshole, so just forget him.”
“He hurt me, Jack, I’m not going to deny it.” She let out a big breath. “He played me for a fool for years, and I was stupid to trust like that. It’s not a mistake I’ll be making again anytime soon.”
“Don’t think you can’t trust anyone again, Maddie. Because then you’ll just end up cynical and bitter like me.”
“Oh, Jack.” She refused to think of him like that, not ever. “That’s not who you are. I know it and deep down so do you.”
The mood changed between them, it was impossible not to notice, but she tried her best to ignore it. All she wanted was to be herself, to relax with Jack, and now he looked like he was going to throw his plate across the room he was so angry on her behalf.
She needed to change the subject, talk to him instead of think about him.
“Jack, you know when we were young, how we could just talk about anything?”
“Or not talk, in my case,” he smiled as he spoke. “That’s what I always liked most about you. That you would sit beside me and not say a word, and it was exactly what I needed.”
Maddison had a warmth creeping into her body that she hadn’t felt in a long time. A contentedness that she’d longed for without realizing it. “Let’s talk about you. What’s going on, Jack? You said you had some troubles?”
He ate a few mouthfuls of his dinner, carefully cutting his chicken and covering it in gravy. She did the same. That was what she did with Jack. She’d always taken his lead, waited him out, knowing that he’d tell her what was on his mind when he was good and ready.
“You sure you want to hear my problems?”
Hearing his issues was exactly what she needed. Something else to focus on other than her own soap opera of a life. “Shoot.”
He smiled, so gently, and she was close enough to him to see the genuineness in his dark brown eyes. “Try not to laugh, okay? Because this is going to blow you away.”
“Okay.” She had no idea what he was going to say, but she agreed anyway.
“We had the reading of my father’s will last week,” he said. “It’s a wonder you didn’t hear me cursing him from L.A.”
“Oh no, don’t tell me he didn’t leave you the ranch?” As if that would have ever made her laugh.
Jack chuckled. “Oh no, he left me the ranch. Just to me, like we always knew he would, but as soon as it’s mine I’ll be transferring half ownership to my brother. So long as he still agrees to come back here and work the land with me.”
Now she was confused. “So you have the ranch and Scott’s coming back. Did I miss where I was supposed to laugh?”
“Oh no,
wait for it.” Jack paused, leaning back again. “He left a clause with his last will and testament, that was read out in the lawyer’s office. He wanted it noted what a disappointment I’d been to him, from letting my mom die to not having a wife and family of my own.”
Maddison couldn’t believe it. “Once an asshole always an asshole, huh? I can’t believe he actually put that in there to be recited like that.” The old bugger had blamed Jack for his mom’s death all these years, despite the fact that he’d been a scared twelve year old boy who’d witnessed a horrific accident and run for help. “Your mom would be more than proud of you, and that’s what counts. You know that, right?”
He nodded, but she could tell it was troubling him. That it upset him more than he would ever admit.
“But here’s the good part,” he said, pushing his chair back so it leaned back on two legs. “To inherit, I have to get married within the year. It’s bogus, because legally it won’t stand, but I’ll still have to have the clause officially overturned, and that’ll take time and money. Or I can just get married.”
Jack married? Right now the thought of him with any woman, let alone married, had her tingling with… jealously. She was jealous. How the hell would he find a wife that fast anyway?
“You know what would really make him flip in his grave?” Jack had a twinkle in his eye that she remembered from childhood, that glint that had warned her they were about to get into trouble.
“What, Jack?” she asked, eyes locked on his.
“Me marrying you.”
Madison laughed, but it was a high-pitched, nervous twitter that didn’t sound anything like her normal laugh. Marry her?
“He hated your parents always interfering, trying to help and sticking up for me and Scott. And he hated that I spent so much time with you, because it meant I could get away from him so often.”
Maddison took a deep breath. She didn’t want to push him, but… “Yes.”
He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, yes?”
She met his gaze. “To marrying you. One final up-yours to your dad, and the experience of walking at least one of his daughters down the aisle for my father.” Maddison shrugged. “I’ll do it.”
Jack chuckled, but he took a long, slow sip of wine. “You would seriously marry me? You know I was just playing, right?”
“Didn’t we always say we would? That when we hit 30 we’d just get married so we could stay best friends?”
“When we were kids,” he interrupted. “We said that when we were kids.”
“I’d do anything to see my dad happy, Jack, and I’d do anything to help you keep this ranch. It’s a win-win situation for both of us. A marriage of convenience.” Even as she said it she knew she was lying to herself, because the way she’d been feeling about Jack earlier would be classed as anything other than just convenient, but if they could help each other out, why not? These past few months she’d thought of nothing more than wanting to be a mom, even considered sperm donors, to make sure her dad didn’t miss out on being a granddad. And Jack would be the perfect father, if they could go through with it.
Jack’s eyes were going from happy to stormy and back again. She swallowed, knowing that if they were truly going to consider this, she’d have to honest from the start.
“I have another reason, Jack,” she confessed.
He raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”
“If we get married, I want to have a baby. Sooner than later, so my dad can enjoy being a grandparent. So he doesn’t miss out on anything, you know, if his health doesn’t hold up” She smiled at him. “Besides, you’d make a great dad, Jack.”
“No,” he shook his head, had a look on his face like she was about to unleash a venomous snake on him. “Not a chance.”
Now it was Maddison’s turn to look confused. “You don’t want to be a dad?”
“I don’t ever want children, Maddison, and no one, not even you, will ever change my mind.” He paused, looked down at his dinner then back at her. “I’ll marry you, Maddie, to piss off my old man and do the exact opposite to yours, but there’s no children in that bargain. Not now, and not ever.”
What? “But…”
“Come here.” He pushed his chair back and stormed around the table, pulling her up and pushing his body into hers, pelvis locked against her, keeping her in place. Maddison’s heart was racing, her mouth dry, she stared into Jack’s eyes like she was stuck in an imaginary web, unable to escape.
“This,” he said, reaching one hand up, palm soft against her cheek, his other hand cupping the back of her head, “is why I’d marry you.”
Jack’s face came closer to hers, his lips grazing hers in the gentlest kiss she’d ever experienced. His mouth moved slowly, not rushing, so slow that it made her want to grab him and demand more.
He broke the contact, stepped away, eyes never leaving hers.
“I’d marry you in a heartbeat, Maddie. Even if I didn’t have some stupid clause to satisfy, I’d do it for you. But I can’t be a father.” He paused. “I’m sorry.”
This time it was Maddison who reached for him, her hand touching his face, to tell him that it was okay. Because whatever reason Jack had right now for not wanting to be a dad? It had to be something damn important. But she wasn’t prepared to give up yet.
And the way her skin seemed to ignite at his touch, the way her pulse was racing just meeting his gaze and holding his hand, told her that marrying Jack, for convience or otherwise, wouldn’t be hard at all.
Not one bit.
CHAPTER FOUR
“So tell me Maddie, what really happened?”
They were sitting out on the porch, feet dangling as they swayed slowly back and forth in the big swing. After two glasses of wine she was starting to relax, even with her thigh pressed to Jack’s, her arm bumping him every time they swung back.
“You know, part of me still wonders if it was somehow my fault. That maybe it’s something wrong with me that made things turn out the way they did.”
Jack slung his arm around her, tugging her closer. She let her head fall onto his shoulder, eyes squeezed shut tight because she didn’t want to tell him. It had taken her long enough to deal with what she’d seen, what had happened. Airing her dirty laundry to anyone wasn’t something that came easily to her.
“Sweetheart, I’m a guy. I know that guys do shitty things to women all the time, but it doesn’t mean whatever he did to you was your fault. You got that?”
“Can I ask you something?” Her voice was quiet, lower than usual, and she only had the confidence to ask Jack because she wasn’t looking at him.
“Anything.”
“Do you, well, do you honestly find me attractive? I mean, would you…”
“Hold up,” he said, retrieving his arm and sitting back to look at her. He was holding a beer bottle in his other hand, and he took a swig before shaking his head at her. “You’re seriously asking me that?”
Her skin was burning. She never should have asked him, but after what Peter had done to her…
“Maddie, come here,” he ordered, holding out his arm again. But this time he didn’t cradle her like a friend giving comfort, this time he set down his beer bottle and put his arms right around her. “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough before…”
Jack leaned in more aggressively this time, nothing like the slow, gentle embrace and kiss earlier. This time his lips crushed hers hard, his fingers spearing through her hair, anchoring her in place, forcing her to tip her head back and surrender to him. Every inch of her was screaming out to tell him to stop, that this was taking it so much further than an innocent kiss between friends, but another part of her – that part was telling her she deserved to feel wanted after what she’d been through.
Jack pulled back, then leaned in for another quick kiss, his lips hovering over hers, teasing her.
“You get it this time?” he asked. “Or am I still not making myself clear? Because there’s a whole lot more where that came from.”
Maddison shook her head, bottom lip caught between her teeth to try to stop from laughing. “Yeah, got it.”
“Just a yeah? Jeez, what’s a guy got to do to convince you?”
His words hit home, made her straighten up a little. “Not sleeping with another man is probably a good start,” she muttered.
“Hold up, what?” Jack’s eyebrows were pulled close together. “I don’t like men, Maddison. I mean, fuck. Where the hell did that come from? You’re not talking about me right now, are you?”
She wished she hadn’t even said anything. But not telling Jack had suddenly become impossible.
“Not you, you idiot,” she said, shaking her head to try and push the mortification away. “My ex.”
“Liked men?” Jack asked, leaning forward for his beer. “You mean he was gay?”
Maddison sighed. “What I mean is that I found him in bed with a man. I walked in on them, in our bed, doing…”
“I get it,” he interrupted, holding up his hand to make her stop. “And you had no idea?”
She shrugged. “Three years and a marriage proposal later, and I had no idea he was using me.” She looked to the sky, wondering for the hundredth time how she’d been so stupid. “But the worst part was that he didn’t even try to explain himself, like he didn’t even care that he’d hurt me so badly. We’d been planning our wedding, I’d gone off birth control because I thought we would be trying for a baby, and he’d been using me so he didn’t have to tell anyone that he wasn’t straight.”
“And you’re, well, shit Maddie.” Jack clearly had no idea what to say. “The son of a bitch,” he cursed.
“He liked my lifestyle, I guess, and having me on his arm made him look good to his colleagues. And I stupidly thought I loved him.”
Jack reached for her hand, lifted it to drop a kiss to her skin. His eyes were searching hers, and she knew she’d been right to tell him. It had taken all her courage to tell her sisters, and she’d never thought she’d tell another soul, but Jack… well, now Jack knew too. Maybe she’d needed another man’s perspective just to make her realize that there was nothing she could have done to make things turn out any differently.