I shook my head, dismissing the statement. “I know. I mean, it was a little shocking at first but, I was sitting there talking to my sister and knew it was a lie. That’s one thing I can count on with you. You don’t lie to me.”
“Nope, I don’t. You know why?”
I shook my head.
“Because you’d probably try to kick my ass if I did.”
He had a point. We were at that level now.
“Agreed. So why were you trying to get up? Jake said he had to threaten you.”
“I wanted to see you. Make sure you were okay. I hate this place.”
I rolled my eyes and leaned in to kiss him. Softly, I ran my lips over his and nibbled at his bottom lip. “I’m right here and I’m okay.”
His hand reached up to cup my face. “It kills me that I’m sitting here and I can’t protect you. It’s just something that is deep in my core and now that you’re with me, I feel the need to do it every single minute of the day.”
“So, you’re trying to be my hero? You’re ill, Holden. You can’t always wear the cape and costume.”
“Get used to it angel,” he smiled, and kissed the corner of my mouth. “The cape isn’t coming off anytime soon. I won’t let anything happen to you again. Not if I can prevent it.”
I laid my cheek against his. He may have looked pale but his face was warm against my skin. The stubble he had grown over the last two days tickled me.
“I don’t need to be saved.”
He laughed. I felt the rumble of it shake the bed. “I have a feeling that saving you will be a lifelong endeavor babe. You’re constantly getting into trouble.”
“We have nearly an entire wing taken over, thanks to Aiden, and about ten guys outside that I’m sure can babysit me with some measure of efficiency while you’re sick.”
“Yeah but they’re not as good as me at spotting when you’re about to do something crazy. I think I know you pretty well now, and behind that halo, you have a pair of horns and some claws.”
I leaned back and laughed. “You’re so cocky.”
He shrugged. “Truth hurts.”
I sighed at him. “Not everything is a fire drill, or an emergency situation.”
He thought for a minute. “I get it. Where you’re concerned though, I don’t and never will, take things lightly. For instance, your sister mentioning that we have ninety days to have a ceremony. I want to call the chaplain in here right now just to make sure everyone is aware that this is happening.”
I frowned at him, thinking about some things. “I have an issue with all of this. We were just talking about the media. Your mom is Rosen Shaw and your dad owns a cache of weapons that probably aren’t all legal. I’m really stuck here and I don’t know what the right thing is to do. What if they dig into their lives?”
He growled, “Let me worry about it. We’re married.”
“Technically we’re not since John forged your name. If I just went away then they wouldn’t have any reason to go after you or your parents.”
“You’re not leaving. I will hunt you down and drag you back to our bed if you leave. We’re fucking married Julia. If I have to go burn down the courthouse just to re-sign another license then I will.”
“You’re being unreasonable,” I said.
“And you’re being stubborn.”
There was a beeping sound coming from his laptop.
We both looked at the screen and saw a video program pop up. Brock’s face came into view in one video box, then Aiden and Olivia’s faces came into view in another box.
“Hello, beautiful people,” Brock said as he tapped away at a keyboard on his desk.
“Hey Brock,” Holden replied.
Jake came in looking at his watch. “Meeting time.”
Holden sat the laptop on a small desk beside the bed so that we could all view it.
“Okay, we’re ready,” he said.
“Alright,” Brock let out a long sigh. “So, I wanted to brief you all on the red rose stalker.”
My ears perked up. I had been looking at Liv who was making funny faces in the camera.
“We’re all ears,” Aiden said after nudging Liv.
“Yeah, so you’re not going to believe this but Roger Hardy, the man that’s engaged to Julia’s sister, is our culprit.”
“Whaaat?” I said.
“Oh yeah,” he continued. “So, something we didn’t share with you or Liv about that little hospital fire, was that there was a red rose left on one of the desks downstairs. One of our guys found it while he was looking around the exits and checking the building. Didn’t think much of it, but he took a good look at it and it had a note. He took a picture and sent it over to my team. It said something to the effect that he would be waiting for an answer.”
“But how do you know it was from him?” I asked.
“Cameras. One-hundred and forty-seven to be exact. Not a bad set up for a small hospital in the middle of nowhere. We ran the tapes back. He was on camera setting the fire. He was seen waiting at an emergency exit. Not sure why. Then, seen again placing the rose on the desk.”
Holden growled, “What the hell does that mean though? I don’t understand the message.”
“I’m getting to that,” Brock answered. “So, I assume that you don’t know what was in the previous notes Julia?”
“I only looked at one. They would appear and I would throw them out. Dad looked at one I think. He might have looked at a couple, I don’t know. I mean they were so random. One at a bar, one backstage.”
Jake interrupted, “But wouldn’t you keep the roses? I mean, performers get those from fans right?”
I nodded. “Yeah they do. We all did. These were specific. Black ribbon around it, one rose. Note addressed to me in an envelope. I just figured it was a prank or something.”
Holden looked at me. “What did it say, angel, when you read the note?”
I shrugged. “Uhm, it was really bad poetry and a couple of lewd drawings I think. Why would Roger of all people send that kind of crap? He’s a creep, don’t get me wrong, but he’s dating my sister and has been for the last year.”
Brock answered, “Because he’s an obsessed super-fan.”
“Yeah but I was nearly signed with their label. He works at Bansham records with that sleaze ball producer.”
Aiden said, “Well, one thing we do know, is that he has manipulated your sister into the trademark business with your name. So, suppose he’s been a fan for a while. He got obsessed and leveraged what he could, through the only person who would be close enough to you to make a difference. He gets you to sign the papers and he gets to be close to the object of his obsession.”
Brock nodded. “Sounds about right. Weird way of going about it. In the meantime, maybe he was hoping the roses would catch the attention of the media and make you famous for that reason. Then he signs you, and you’re gold because of the news.”
“That’s so stupid though,” I said. “Why me? A year ago, I was just doing a couple of bar gigs. Nothing serious.”
Holden put his arm around me and kissed my face softly. “Because your voice is beautiful, and so are you. To people like us, celebrity stalkers don’t seem to have a reason for what they’re doing. But it’s very clear to the stalker what their motivations are. Jealousy, lust, love, revenge. Could be anything.”
I looked at him. His face was tight like he was angry, but his eyes were soft as he looked at me. “Holden, he was the one that found that article in the paper about that woman’s kid. He told Allison that he tried to get it retracted but what if he planted it as a threat?”
Brock answered. “More than likely it’s a direct threat to Holden, because he’s now your husband and stands in the way of what he wants. One thing is clear, he’s waiting for an answer.”
“To what?” Holden growled.
“We wondered that too, so we called Julia’s dad. He said that two letters indicated that the stalker wanted to “own” her. He wants her to submit willin
gly to being his slave of sorts.”
“WHAT?” Liv, Holden, Jake and I all said at the same time.
“Yeah, it had some weird stuff. The drawings were bizarre. Some of people in bondage, another in cages, and some crude scribbles of sexual acts. Anyway, one of the letters was an invitation, the other was a demand. We ran his entire history. Very shady stuff. But, that’s not the weirdest thing.”
Holden’s face was turning red with anger, “Just spit it, the fuck out, Brock.”
“Glad you still have your balls after getting married Holden.”
I grabbed Holden’s arm when he looked like he might throw the computer.
Brock grinned, “He says he wants a, and I quote, “caged songbird” he can punish, which I assume goes along with the drawings of bondage.”
What the fuck?
Only I would attract a weirdo like that.
A songbird to punish? Was he obsessed with birds too?
“I’ll kill him. He won’t touch her,” Holden hissed.
Aiden spoke, “Calm down Holden, don’t do anything stupid.”
“Stupid?!” he barked. “What if it was Olivia? You’d be armed to the teeth and hunting him down. No one goes near my wife! Where the fuck is he?!”
Aiden’s face looked worried. I could have dismissed that look had I not also seen Brock’s face. He was also looking extremely alarmed.
I started rubbing Holden’s arm. “It’s okay, I’m right here. So are ten other men. Nothing is going to happen to me. They’ll find him and have him arrested.”
Brock coughed. “Yep, we sure will. Last known location was the local airport in your area with Allison. She was caught on video leaving the airport in L.A., but we’re still looking for footage of Roger.”
“He’s here,” Holden whispered to me and Jake.
Aiden let out a sigh. “It’s been a long day. Brock has a few new team members at his disposal right now that are running information. Jake, I’m assuming you have things under control. Holden, man, just get better. I need my best man at my wedding. You can’t help if you collapse again. And don’t do anything stupid. You know what I mean.”
Holden jabbed the off button on the computer and turned to Jake. “Around the clock watch on Julia. Everyone watches the stairwells. Ask if we can be moved to a different part of the hospital. I want my guns. Now.”
“You got it boss,” he replied and left.
I cuddled into Holden’s side. “Everything is going to be okay.”
Holden didn’t answer and just squeezed me tighter. “Yeah, one way or another everything is going to be okay.”
Chapter Sixteen
Something was wrong.
I had gone back to my room after laying with Holden for a little while. He hadn’t said anything more about the Roger issue. He had just shut down into his job face again, and for once, I couldn’t read him.
Roger was a huge problem, and one that I wanted to talk to Holden about. I wondered if my sister was safe, if Roger was honestly still in the area, and what we were going to do about it.
Roger’s request was so bizarre. He was a deviant of some sort. In our very few interactions, he hadn’t acted like he was obsessed at all. The one thing he had done, which seemed relevant now, was constantly ask if I was with someone, what I was doing when I went out, and if I was thinking about dating anyone. Even when I was dealing with him at Bansham’s offices, those were the first questions out of his mouth each time. It didn’t really strike me as unusual because he was dating my sister. I had thought he was just being friendly.
It worried me deeply that Holden was being deathly silent on the Roger subject.
Feeling a lot like my presence wasn’t needed or wanted, I went back to my room under a heavy cloud of confusion. I thought we had gotten past this point. If I was his only job, according to him, then why did he shut me out when there was obviously something on his mind?
I was questioning this whole relationship with him at this point. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about him. I did, but it seemed like, since the moment I met him, that my actions and personality conflicted so much with his. I wondered if I was more of a burden, rather than anything else.
When we were up in the mountains, things seemed to go better. Granted, I felt safe up there and Holden was far more relaxed, but now things seemed to be back the way they were a year ago. I didn’t hate him, but I felt like I didn’t know him.
The time spent up there had been therapeutic for me in a way. I felt more like myself again after being so lost about things. When I looked in the mirror, my scar didn’t bother me much anymore. Thinking about what had happened with Brandon, didn’t feel as if it was weighing on me quite as much. It was just as much because of Holden as it was his parents. Ray hid up on his mountain and Rose hid her name, but they were still doing what made them happy in the long run.
They weren’t doing it because they were running from their pasts. Or, for that matter, trying not to deal with the present. In Ray’s case, he was just avoiding the government.
The other thing was how they interacted with each other. Having no guide or reference, for what a truly functioning relationship should look like between parents, I had been blown away by their treatment of each other. There was love there, and it was enduring, even with their differences.
It didn’t mean every relationship could function like that though. Including mine with Holden. He was so set on being the man that saved the world from bad guys. He felt guilty about last year and it hadn’t even been his fault. When we had been at Muse, he had behaved like he was on the job, even though it had technically been a date of sorts.
On top of all that, I had a huge choice in front of me. Did I want to continue my career in music on a public stage, or did I want to continue to hide away from the limelight and do my random small shows. If I even tried to go back to that life, would it even work? Would I have to give up my music to remain anonymous?
I enjoyed playing for people tremendously. Their reactions were the biggest joy I could take away from what I did. But what would it now cost me and the people around me?
If Allison’s visit had proved one thing, it was that, anyone around me could potentially be a target for speculation, harassment, and public ridicule. In Allison’s case, she had been the victim of a nutball fan. Holden had already been a victim of a fraudulent article. If Rose and Ray were targeted then it could ruin their lives. That wasn’t something I wanted to expose the people I loved to.
Holden didn’t seem to care, but I didn’t think he was looking at the big picture long term. His very private nature seemed to be the biggest risk for him.
Dr. Matthews had warned me he was married to his job. It was something that Holden did well and I could see that it gave him purpose. If he stuck with me, and I decided on performing my music, I would need to travel a great deal. It would likely drive him nuts and he would probably insist on going with me. He might regret giving some of his own career choices up to do that. I just couldn’t see a middle ground on that one, where both of us won.
He said he wanted to save me. It was obvious to me now that I didn’t need saving. I had just needed a nudge in the right direction, to help clear my thoughts and get back to the person I had been. Back then I had been brave, had been willing to take risks that were sometimes a little wacky, and I had viewed the world differently. I had let my memories and fear control who I was, and it had nearly cost me an entire lifetime of possible happiness.
I didn’t need Holden to be my hero. I had just needed his love and a little bit of his blunt nature, to show me the way back.
Now something was wrong. Really wrong.
Five of his guards, including Jake, were posted outside of my room and in the adjacent hallways on Holden’s orders. I felt like it was overkill, all things considered, but it was my reality for most of the day.
I needed the time to clear my head and work on the material for Liv’s wedding anyway. There were only a few songs I was playing,
but I wanted them to be perfect.
Although my thoughts ran through a million different things, I poured myself into the practice session. My hands were sore by the time I finished, and it was late.
Jake knocked and came in to check up on me.
“Hey Jake, any news?”
“Hey. Uhm, yes, an update. Holden said to stay in your room tonight and that he loved you. It’s so weird passing messages like this. Totally not in the job description.”
I raised my eyebrow at him. “Anything else?”
“Yeah, so, it’ll just be me and a few of the guys here for a while. He’s taken the others with him to do some hunting.”
My eyes narrowed. “Hunting as in, killing helpless animals? Kind of late isn’t it?”
He shuffled his feet nervously. “Uhm, no. He’s hunting down Roger.”
“He’s WHAT?”
“He said you would be upset. He also told me to tell you not to do anything crazy. I agree. Holden knows what he’s doing Julia.”
I scowled him. “I have no doubt he does, but he’s just now recovering from an infection, and he doesn’t need to go all Rambo trying to find Roger. More than likely he’s not even here! Of all the idiotic things! Why aren’t you with him?”
“He wanted his best guy on his wife.”
I got up and started pacing. “Well, start planning a funeral because I’m going to murder him when he gets back! Poison in his drink! Possible shooting! Closed casket.”
“Uhm.”
“Grr!” I stomped my foot.
“Now, Julia, no need for that. He’s just going to check around and try to flush him out.”
Raising my eyebrow at him, I said, “How many guns did he take? Does Aiden or Brock know about this?”
He grimaced. “No, they don’t. Four and three extra clips. It’s not as bad as you think. He’s always armed to the teeth. Mostly.”
“Four guns and a few guys. That doesn’t sound like he was planning on checking things out. That sounds like a squad to hunt Roger down and do damage.”
“Eh, it’s a small group doing a small sweep of the area. I’m sure nothing will get damaged too much.”
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