“If you’re so good at obedience, why did you leave camp yesterday? You promised to remain here. Checking up on me?”
“No. It wasn’t my idea. Moore suggested…never mind,” she decided, knowing what her explanation would reveal. She pulled free and headed for the protective company of Jack and Dray.
Landis was quickly in pursuit. Before he could halt her, she was too close to them. What did she mean, it wasn’t her idea?
“Ship coming in!” the outcry cut into the silent group.
Jack shouted, “Who would sail into the canal this late at night?”
“Whoever he is, he’s a bloody fool!” Landis snarled, his tension revealed by his frigid tone, the reason for it obscure to all but Kathy.
“Well, he can’t unload until morning,” Jack commented.
“Speaking of dawn,” Kathy snatched at this opportune moment to leave them. “I had better turn in; it’s late and I’m tired. Good-night,” she murmured softly, then left hurriedly. Landis scowled.
Dray teased, “Maybe you should carry your bride home with you to get some time alone.” He didn’t offer the use of his cabin since Landis hadn’t revealed a desire to be alone with his new wife, which was the same reason Harriet hadn’t generously offered the privacy of her cabin. Both knew why the marriage had taken place, but both also felt it could easily become real. “Too many males around for a beautiful lady alone, even married,” he playfully chided his friend, then left to check out the commotion on the beach.
Jack grinned and agreed. But Landis simply questioned the blond giant, “How long have you known Kathy?” He frowned slightly.
Jack shrugged, resisting memories which included his beloved Dory. To conceal his anguish and to extract Landis’s feelings, he said, “Not long enough. We met in San Francisco years ago. We spent some nice times together. She’s a lovely and exciting lady.”
Landis unwillingly nipped at his bait, “A married one.”
“Happily?” he brazenly challenged. “I’ve never seen Kathy so jittery and sad. Why did she marry you, Jurrell?” he demanded.
“Why does any woman marry a man?” Landis fenced skillfully.
“If you two are in love, I’m a snowman. I’d bet my last grain of gold-dust you have some hold on her, one I plan to break, old friend.”
Landis clenched his jaw and straightened. “Keep your nose out of my life, London. Kat married me willingly. She’s been through some hard times lately; leave her be. I’ll take care of my wife.”
“From the Yukon? Look around you, Jurrell. This ain’t no place for Kathy. Some marriage, you don’t even live together, much less in the same area. If you’re really looking for Jake, why not take her along? I know Kathy, Jurrell; something’s wrong.”
“Don’t be a fool, Jack. We both know she’s safer here. I can promise you, if Jake’s around, I’ll find him. As to our living arrangement, it’s none of your business. But I’ll say this much, Kat’s a special woman. We married quickly, and she needs time. If there’s one thing I know, Kat loves me and wants me.”
That smug declaration astonished Jack. “What about you, Jurrell? Why did you marry her?” Jack boldly pressed.
Landis chuckled. “Would I marry any female I didn’t want?” he responded.
Jack sneered, “I doubt you do anything without a reason. In your case, Jurrell, desire doesn’t supply it. Do you love her?”
“Do you?” Landis sidestepped.
Jack knew this man wouldn’t reveal anything to him. Kathy was in over her head. His course was plotted. “Yes, as a sister.”
That told Landis a great deal, yet not enough to ease his worries. From his experience with her, nothing had taken place between them. A mischievous grin replaced his scowl as he reflected on a delightful scheme. A draw, the two men parted company.
Landis’s chance came sooner than expected. Two men had arrived on the ship, men who needed to go to Fort Selkirk on mutual business with Dray at dawn. Fortune smiling on Landis, Jack was hired as trail guide. Luck riding high, Landis hoped Kathy was unaware of these events. She headed to Drayton’s cabin in response to Jack’s message. She was intrigued. If they were too busy for breakfast, why did they want to see her? Was Landis still around?
When Landis answered the door, her heart fluttered. He stepped aside and waved her in, smiling. She strolled past him, then turned and asked, “Where’s Jack? He asked me to come over.”
He replied in a husky tone, “He isn’t here at the moment.”
“Then I’ll come back later.” She flashed him a nervous smile. She wanted to ask when he was leaving, but didn’t. She was wary of this intimidating solitude. She kept recalling his sarcastic words about their marriage not lasting long. She didn’t know what to believe anymore.
He offered an irresistible temptation, “Would you like to view some pictures of the Yukon Territory to see why I insist you remain here? Then, I’ll tell you how I’ve spent these last few weeks.”
“Yes, I would,” she replied, surprising him with a genuine smile.
He went to his backpack and withdrew several packets of pictures and sketches. He came over and handed them to her. She sat down and began to study the forbidding land which the pictures revealed in bold black and stark white. She glanced up at him and asked incredulously, “Are these for real, Landis? Some of these cliffs look like sheer drop-offs miles deep. Can you walk a trail this narrow?”
“Some of those trails are worse, Kat. In places, the path is slick and steep. If you lose your footing, you can slide downhill for twenty to thirty feet, if you’re lucky. You can freeze within hours. As for the rivers, if you fall in, you can freeze in minutes. Even if you’re pulled out, your wet clothes freeze. I’ve seen men lose hands, fingers, toes, and feet. It isn’t a pretty sight. Have you ever seen a man crazed by starvation or cold? His mind snaps and he kills for survival. Plus, there’re wolves who trace your path until you’re too weak to go on or until you get careless. A ravenous pack can strip the carcass of a two-hundred pound moose in half an hour. Evil men prey on the weak, just like the wolves. I wouldn’t want to see you injured, Kat, especially not killed. Don’t leave Skagway again.”
Startled by his unexpected plea, her head jerked up. She met his gaze, etched with concern and tenderness. She glanced back at the pictures as she deliberated the dangers and rewards. “I must, Landis; I have no choice if you can’t help me.”
“Damnit, Kat! I told you I’d find him. Just give me time, please,” he entreated, his voice carrying notes of earnestness and fear.
Fear? she debated silently. Landis Jurrell didn’t know the meaning of that word! He was so self-assured, arrogant, and strong-willed. How she would love to steal some of those qualities. “Why are you suddenly so concerned about me and my safety?” she asked, tormented by the tenderness in his eyes and voice.
“I’ve always been concerned about you, Kat; you’re just too proud and stubborn to see it! Why do you think I married you!” he stormed impatiently at her.
“How can I see what doesn’t exist?” she shot back.
Stunned, he fiercely disputed, “Then open your eyes, woman! Do you know what it cost to loan you my name? The last thing I need about now is a wife to worry over and cling to my shirt-tail!”
“Your sacrifice overwhelms me! I didn’t hold a gun on you!”
“In a way, Kat, you did. I had to protect you. If you had waited for me, I would have married you one day. Do you think I can forget what happened between us? I want you, woman!”
Kathy stared at him, befuddled. Always passion, but no love mentioned! “Are you referring to our episode of blissful ecstasy?” she said sarcastically.
“For me, it was,” he exploded in anger, wanting to shake some sense into her lovely head. “If I hadn’t protected you, some other man would have. Until I decide why you churn my guts, I’m not about to lose you to another man. Blast it, woman, I’ve missed you!”
“Stop deceiving me, Landis. Our interlude meant nothing
but physical release to you. You wanted a mistress, nothing more.”
“You’re wrong. To prove it, I’ll go back to Log Cabin and question Thomas. If he knows anything, I’ll force him to tell me.” He regretted his promise the moment he uttered it; he couldn’t allow her a hold over him.
“What does that have to do with what happened between us?” she reasoned, eyes blazing with unconcealed fury.
“How else can I prove I can be trusted? We shared something special, Kat. Something you’re obviously afraid to admit, or wish to forget! Which is it?” he demanded, the muscle in his jaw quivering in loosely leashed anger. His eyes magnetically compelled her gaze to his. The force of their power brought forth the truth.
“I honestly don’t know,” she unexpectedly confessed. “I only know I want more from you than you can give. What do you want from me? It was your idea to marry! Why do you torment me like this?” she shouted, pushed beyond self-control.
“I want you, Kathy,” he stated simply, eyes soft and alluring.
“But not enough, Landis. Not enough to make any commitment to me. You expect me to sit here waiting for you to show up every month or two to share a day in your bed as payment for your name! I need more than that, Landis. Just leave me alone. If you do have any honest feelings for me, then you’ll want what’s best for me; and that isn’t a humiliating position as your legal whore. I was better off without you. It isn’t enough,” she whispered sadly, but honestly.
“If you loved me, Kat, nothing would matter except our being together whenever we can. You’re my wife,” he stated, feeling guilty.
Love? “You’re a fool, Landis Jurrell! What about my happiness? What about my future? Should I simply waste away waiting for you? You’re selfish and arrogant! It’s useless; can’t you see that?” she painfully argued against something she dearly wanted. Her voice and expression betrayed her as memories of their shared passion lingered in her mind.
“I know for certain I want you as I’ve never wanted and needed any other person. I can’t lose you, Kat,” he hoarsely admitted, his eyes fusing to a smoldering ebony. After all, she was mostly right.
“You can’t lose what you don’t possess,” she wretchedly corrected him. “Perhaps you do want me, maybe even care for me; but I need more than simple affection and an occasional visit to your bed. How can you even ask me to live that way?”
“Right now, that’s all I can give, Kat. My life’s too complicated and dangerous to accept full responsibility. But things will change. Until then, Kat, I do need you.”
“That’s my point, Landis. We’re strangers. For all I know, you could have another female tucked away somewhere. That would explain your lengthy trips into territories unknown without me. You’re my husband; but I don’t know where you go, or what you do, or where you live, or how to reach you, or when I’ll see you again. Each time I ask you a simple question, you become cool or evasive, as if I’ve offended or attacked or angered you. We can’t even communicate or trust each other.” She sighed wearily.
“My business is secret, Kat. If I could tell you about it, I would. If I could take you with me, I’d do it in a blink of an eye. But I can’t. It’s too dangerous. Must I bear my soul to you to deserve your love and trust?” he flared.
“See what I mean! Why are you so defensive? You act as if you’re some criminal with a black past to conceal. You don’t have to tell me everything, but you refuse to tell me anything! Love is honest and open. You expect me to accept you on blind faith.”
Wariness entered him. Was she trying to force him to reveal himself with deceitful promises of submission and love? There was no way he could expose himself, not right now. Some matters vital to Canada had to be settled first. He couldn’t have her without the truth, but he couldn’t reveal that critical information—even to win Kathy.
He pulled her to him and said, “I need you, Kat; love me.”
His meaning clear, she shook her head. “We can’t.”
“Why not? You’re my wife,” he reminded her.
“Not really. If we make love, this marriage will be legal.”
“Who’ll know besides us? If you want out later, I won’t hold you.”
If, she mentally echoed. “What will people think if we’re alone? Besides, Jack and Dray should return soon.”
“Why should it look odd for a newlywed couple to be alone? I forgot to tell you, Jack and Dray left for the Yukon at dawn.”
“He couldn’t have. He sent me…” She halted as he shook his head, grinning. “You?” He nodded, then smiled tenderly.
“They’ll be gone for days. We’re all alone, Kat.”
“A cunningly planned seduction, Landis? You calling in my debt? Please, just leave me alone. I can’t take anymore of your lies and tricks.” Tears glistened on her thick lashes.
She turned to leave. Landis whispered softly, “No matter what you think, Kat, I do love you and want you,” he confessed in a brief moment of weakness and dread.
She halted her retreat to turn and gaze at him. “What did you say?” she asked, her heart drumming wildly.
It had been a rash declaration, one he couldn’t repeat. “You heard me, Kat. Are you leaving or staying?” he probed softly.
“What about our deal? In name only?” she asked fearfully.
“Is that all you wanted from me, Kat? My name?”
She met his penetrating gaze and earnestly replied, “I don’t care who or what you are. I wanted you to love me enough to…”
“To marry you? I did, Kat, even though it was impossible. Because you weren’t willing to wait for me. I don’t give a damn about our bargain. If you can’t be alone with me, I won’t be back while you’re here. I want you as my wife, truly my wife someday, Kat.”
“Someday, Landis? Is that months? A year? Several years? Ten years?” she questioned his elusive promise.
“I don’t know, Kat,” he admitted honestly.
“What if you change your mind? What if I find my father?”
“First, I won’t change my mind. Second, if we do find him, how would that change anything between us?” he hinted in dread. What would he do if she loved him enough to confess she was an American spy?
“If you do love me and want me, why can’t I go with you? I wouldn’t interfere in your work. I wouldn’t even question you about it,” she promised. If Jack felt it was safe enough to travel inland, it was surely safe enough with her powerful husband.
He swayed her logic when he said, “I couldn’t bear it if you got killed or hurt, Kat. How could I concentrate on my work if I’m worrying over you? Please don’t ask me to endanger your life.”
He came forward and pulled her into his possessive embrace. “God, how I want you, Kat. When I’m away, all I do is think about seeing you again. When I saw you with Jack, I nearly went crazy.”
“Why? I told you we’re only friends. I explained about mother and Jack. He didn’t give me time to break it to him gently. He besieged me with questions the other night. I was so tired I don’t know how I got through it. I should have let you handle it for me.”
He captured her face between his hands and covered it with kisses. His mouth greedily devoured her sweet lips and explored the passion he discovered there. Smoldering coals quickly ignited into a raging fire which consumed them. She clung to him, almost savagely returning his kisses. Her hands moved up and down his back, savoring the feeling of his hard muscles conditioned by the arduous existence he led. These weeks of loneliness and denial were forgotten in the heat of their need, as were all problems between them. For a time, nothing mattered except this bittersweet yearning to join their bodies and souls.
“Will you stay, Kat?” he entreated, his tongue teasing her ear.
“How.could I possibly leave?” she replied, clinging to him.
He eagerly undressed her, then removed his clothes. As his hands moved over her nude body, the fires of passion flamed higher and brighter. Her body was alive with tension and desire. He lifted her a
nd carried her to his bedroll, not Dray’s cozy bed. He gently deposited her and lay down beside her. His hands roamed her body as expertly as he roamed the surrounding territory. Enslaved by a heady and uncontrollable desire for him, she could not stop molten lava which flowed through her body. She wanted him with an intensity which surprised both of them.
He entered her carefully and began to move slowly, savoring this moment he had anticipated and had feared to never experience again. “I love you so much it frightens me, Landis.”
He looked into her limpid eyes. She had said it all. “I know, love. I can’t give you up, Kat. Wait for me until I work things out.”
She gazed into his passion-darkened eyes. She smiled happily. “I will. No matter how long it takes,” she dreamily promised, ignorant of what the future held.
He smiled just before his mouth claimed hers, very gently to explore and taste the sweetness there. Quivers of desire filled her. Under his patient and fiery assault, all doubts crumbled and vanished. Her whole world seemed to reel and disappear. She experienced those same fierce demands and hungers she had known that first time.
He nibbled at her ear, warm breath calling to her. She trembled in great need. Her arms encircled his back and pulled him closer to her. She abandoned her mind and body to her rising passion, coming to him in willing surrender, entreating the pleasures which awaited her.
As he gradually began to move within her, the feeling was overpowering and tormenting. An intense hunger and ache chewed at her entire body. She clung to him, silently begging for release from this urgent need. Yet, his loving torment continued. He teased her lips and taut breasts with soft and demanding kisses. His hands travelled her body with intoxicating, irresistible caresses. He whispered words of encouragement and temptation into her ears. She moaned in yearning and pressed closer against him. Her whole being was aflame for him.
Landis’s pace soon quickened as the fires of passion burned out of control. He guided her to rapture’s peak. When he finally carried her over that blissful summit, she cried out his name over and over between kisses. At last, she understood the depth of love and height of passion. She realized what she had instinctively sensed that first moment she had gazed up into his twinkling eyes—this was the man who held her fate and heart within his hands. Now, he was hers…
Golden Torment Page 14