“Then why does Pax think she’s having your baby?”
“First of all, he doesn’t know that the woman is Jessica. When I told him I needed some time off, he gave me a hard time. I finally had to tell him that someone I knew was going into labor, and I had to be there. He assumed that the baby was mine, and I let him because I didn’t want him asking a bunch of questions.
“After one of his friends told him that he had seen me kiss Jessica all those years ago, Pax went apeshit crazy, filling his head with the image of the two of us having sex. He and I got in a pretty nasty brawl after that, and he told Jessica in no uncertain terms that he was done with her. He didn’t ever want to see her again. And he hasn’t.
“Jessica’s life has pretty much been shit after that. She grew up without a father, and her mother died in a car accident when Jessica was in college. She wound up dropping out and working at a restaurant in California. Life in California wasn’t going well, so she decided she wanted to make a fresh start somewhere she’d never been. A few months ago, she moved to Kentucky and wound up unexpectedly getting pregnant during a one night stand.”
“It sounds like she’s had it rough.”
“Exactly.”
We sat in silence, and I could tell that he had a million thoughts echoing through his head. I just watched him until he was ready to continue the conversation.
“When she called me and told me she was pregnant, I could tell that she was lonely, that she had no one else to call. Hell, I hadn’t heard from her in years. I didn’t even know how she had gotten my number until she told me she had called my parents’ house.
“I urged her to call Pax, but she wouldn’t. If there’s anything I know about my brother, it’s that he loved her, truly loved her.”
“Why wouldn’t she call him?”
His powerful shoulders lifted into a shrug. “Pax said some pretty terrible things to her when everything blew up. She had tried to reconcile, and he had flatly refused. She’d been rejected by him once. I don’t think she could stand the thought of being rejected by him again.”
“And Pax still doesn’t know?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hell, I’ve contemplated telling him a thousand times, but she begged me over and over again not to. She said that he hated her, and she also mentioned that Pax had told her once that he never wanted kids. Her logic made sense. If he didn’t want his own children, he sure as hell wouldn’t want someone else’s.”
“But it was a long time ago when he told her that. Things change. Even if it was true then, it may not be now,” I reasoned.
He shook his head, disagreeing with me. “No, Pax has never wanted children. She’s right about that. Even if he would have considered taking her back, I think her having someone else’s child would be a deal breaker.”
“I find it hard to believe that he would really be that cold.”
A grunt of disbelief escaped him. “Then you obviously don’t know Pax.”
“So where does that leave you?”
He closed his eyes, grabbing his nape with his hand and stretching as if the conversation were about to become even more unpleasant.
“I, um….” He cleared his throat. “I promised her that I would help her, that I wouldn’t abandon her.”
“And what does that entail?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I’m working on it. I just wanted you to know what I’m dealing with, and I want you to understand that my agreement with Jessica happened literally days before you came back to Creekview.”
He cupped his hand over mine, and it was warm and comforting. I was a bit leery of this entire situation, and I wondered what it would mean for us because he was the one man that I had wanted.
“I promised Jessica that I wouldn’t tell anyone, so I’m trusting you, Flanagan. If Pax hears about all this from someone other than me, then I’m afraid all hell’s going to break loose.” He squeezed my hand. “But I want you to know that I want you, Flanagan. Okay?”
I lowered my eyes. “Until Ireland, I wasn’t even sure you noticed me.”
He curled a finger under my chin and lifted my face to his. “I’ve told you before that I’ve always noticed you. If you’re in the same room with me, you can bet your sweet ass that I’m noticing. I tried to keep my distance, to keep everything platonic, but I don’t know…when we were in Ireland, it just seemed like everything else was a million miles away. All I wanted to focus on was you.” His thumb caressed my jawline, the back and forth motion sending shivers of delight through my body as his eyes studied my face. He lowered his head, his mesmerizing smell clouding my judgment, and gently pressed his lips to mine. Not only did I let him, but I also encouraged him. Before the trip, I had promised that no strings were attached. He had no commitment to me, but I wanted him. If he needed some time to deal with Jessica and her baby, then so be it.
His arm entwined around my body as he deepened the kiss. A cool breeze whipped my hair around our faces, but the delicious heat that unfurled in my body at his nearness kept me warm.
He pulled away and stood, grabbing my hand and bringing me to my feet. After dropping one last kiss on my lips, he took a step back and squeezed his temples. “Everything is a helluva lot more complicated now,” he said softly.
“So what are you going to do?” I already missed the heat of his body.
“I need to sort through some things.” He glanced at the time on his phone. “Right now, I’ve got to get to the gym to relieve Evan.”
I nodded, disappointed that our conversation would end with no real resolution, but I also realized that Cade was struggling with his situation. What was Jessica expecting of him?
He tucked his thumbs in his pockets. “I know I’m asking a lot, but just bear with me.”
“If there’s something I can do…,” I offered, smoothing back blowing strands of hair.
“This is probably one of those things that I’ll have to work out on my own, but thank you.” He dropped a quick kiss to my forehead. “I need to get to the gym.”
I waved, and he turned and walked away.
“Wait! Your jacket!” I yelled.
He turned briefly, walking backwards as he pointed at me. “You keep it for now. I can get it the next time I see you. Because there will be a next time, Flanagan. I can promise you that.”
Chapter 15
Eejit
Seren
Eejit. I wondered if that was exactly what I was—an idiot.
As I watched him walk away, I wished I had some idea what was going through his mind.
He promised me that he would tell me the truth, and I desperately wanted to trust him. But if he had made an agreement with Jessica before I’d come back to town, I couldn’t help but wonder how devoted he was to her and her child.
After he drove away, I lifted the jacket to my face, breathing in deeply of his scent. I’d been lucky in most facets of my life. I had great parents, a college degree, and a fantastic best friend. The only thing that never seemed to go my way was love, and just when I had found someone special, someone I anticipated spending time with, someone who titillated me, he was caught up in some kind of a strange arrangement with someone else.
In my aggravation with the entire situation, tears blurred my vision. If Pax hated Jessica and didn’t want children, I didn’t see how he could be pulled in to ease the burden on Cade. Terrified that our budding relationship may have hit a road block, I returned to the bench, wanting nothing more than to spend a few more minutes in the cool spring air, his jacket warming me as I played our conversation once more in my head.
Just when I thought things were really taking off for us, everything imploded. I felt as if I were trying to grasp a thin wisp of smoke. I could see him, smell him, taste him, but I couldn’t quite capture him. He seemed sincere in that he wanted a relationship with me, and based on our conversation, perhaps that was my only saving grace.
“Do you mind if we sit with you?”
I sniffled and trie
d to discreetly wipe the tears from my eyes. Clearing my throat, I answered, “Not at all.”
A woman about my age pushed a stroller toward the bench and took a seat. “Are you okay?”
Shit, so much for being discreet. I pasted on a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Boyfriend trouble?”
If only it were that simple.
“Something like that.”
“Do you love him?”
I turned to look at her then, surprised by her question. Seeing as she had a baby, she knew something about love.
“I think I could.” Somehow it felt good to admit it out loud, and since I was admitting it to a total stranger, I didn’t have to be afraid that the confession would come back and haunt me.
“I’m sure you’ll work it out then.”
“I hope so.”
Her baby started crying, and she offered him a pacifier, which he was more than happy to accept.
“He’s precious,” I said softly, wondering if and when I would ever have children of my own.
“Thank you. It’s funny how somebody so tiny can change your whole world. I couldn’t imagine life without him now.”
I smiled at her, and I thought about Mason losing his baby, how painful it must have been for him and his ex-wife, Rachel. I wasn’t sure I would survive such a tragedy. I thought about Cade wanting to take care of a child that wasn’t even his own, and I wondered how far he would go to fulfil his promise.
And something that shocked even me, I thought about Cade and me having children, and I wondered whether they would have blue eyes like me or green like their father.
“Do you come here often?” she asked.
“No, I don’t, actually.”
“It’s beautiful here, but it is a little chilly. I should probably get my baby out of the wind. Do you happen to know if there’s a good restaurant in town?”
“Yeah, there’s a little café on Main Street, called Mandy’s.”
“I don’t guess you happen to know the address so I could plug it into my phone?”
I shook my head apologetically. “I’m afraid I don’t.”
“Do you think I could get your phone number, just in case I can’t find it?”
“Yeah, sure.” I gave her directions and my phone number. Then she left, leaving me once again with my thoughts.
Cade
Hurting Flanagan was killing me. Damn, how did I end up in such a mess? It seemed like a simple enough solution. All I had to do was tell Jessica that I wanted to pursue a relationship with Flanagan.
I had been helping Jessica financially, and we had discussed options for helping with the baby, too. I felt incredibly guilty for kissing her all those years ago and ruining her relationship with Pax. I truly believed that if I hadn’t, the two of them would have probably worked things out.
Now I had promised Jessica that I wouldn’t abandon her, that even though she didn’t have anyone else, she would have me. At the time, it was an easy enough thing to offer.
Until Flanagan showed up.
There was no way in hell I could make a relationship with Flanagan work after everything I had promised Jessica. Not long-term, anyway, and when it came to Flanagan, long-term was the only kind of relationship I wanted. I could sit and talk to her for hours and never get bored. She was interesting and intelligent with a great sense of humor. I liked being around her.
And now that we had shared a night together, I couldn’t get the visions of her out of my head: her standing in front of me, barely covered in translucent fabric, her breasts filling my hands, the look on her face as I thrust into her. Damn, just thinking about her made me hard. I wanted her, and I had for some time. Just the thought of another man driving into her drove me to the brink of insanity.
But what had really punched me in the gut was the emotional connection I shared with her that night. The feeling of having her in my arms had been indescribable. After making love to her, I felt as if we had bared our souls to each other, not with words but with the sentiment that we had conveyed with a simple touch. And now, I wanted to be everything she wanted, everything she needed.
And if I didn’t work this out soon, someone else would make a play for her. Hell, my own brother had already tried.
Pax.
Maybe he was the solution to my problem. I knew he had loved Jessica, and Jessica had loved him. The disappointment I had experienced when we were in high school and she told me that she was interested in Pax, not me, was probably similar to the same way Flanagan had made Pax feel, assuming he had any feelings, the ass. If I could just get him interested in Jessica again….
Of course, that would most likely include me somehow managing to convince him that I hadn’t slept with her, and he was determined to believe that I had.
I spent most of my shift at the gym trying to mentally build persuasive arguments for both Jessica and Pax. I needed to convince Jessica to let me talk to Pax, and I needed to convince Pax to give Jessica another chance. It was perfect actually. If I could pull this off, everyone involved would be happy, and I could continue my relationship with Flanagan, guilt-free.
I needed to take my time and plan everything perfectly because I would most likely only get one shot with Pax to make it work.
***
Three days later, I convinced Flanagan to go fishing at a private lake with me. I’d seen her the last two days at Whiskey Nights, but I wanted to take her somewhere more private. Reluctantly, she had agreed.
“You want me to bait your hook, or do you like to do it yourself?” I asked as I handed her a fishing pole.
She wrinkled her nose as she tugged her tank top over the edge of her blue jeans. “You can do it.”
She sat cross-legged on the ground, holding her pole while I dug a night crawler out of the container and baited her hook. Once we were situated, we positioned ourselves on a flat rock overlapping the lake.
“If you fish around that fallen tree, you ought to be able to catch something.” I pointed to the right side of her at a log jutting out of the water. “Do you know how to cast?”
“Umm…no. I don’t think my dad has ever fished, and I haven’t, either.”
“You’ve never been fishing?” I asked, surprised. Most people I knew could at least remember going a couple of times when they were younger. “Too dangerous?”
As she shook her head, her laughter floated in the air. “Not because it’s too dangerous.” She shrugged her shoulders. “No one’s ever taken me before. Does my inexperience knock me down a couple of notches on your list?”
I tilted my head in her direction, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. “Flanagan, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s impossible for you to get bumped down on my list. You’ve got a pretty nice lead in the number one position.”
She tried to stifle a smile.
I helped her to her feet. “All right, whoever catches the biggest fish wins.”
“What do they win?” she asked, dusting off the seat of her jeans.
“I don’t know. What do you want to win?”
“Dinner at your place.”
I groaned. “Trust me, of all the things that you could win, that’s not what you want.”
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“What’s the matter? Afraid you’re going to lose?” she taunted.
“I’ve been fishing all my life. There’s no way in hell I’m going to lose.”
“We’ll see about that. What do you want if you win?”
“I tell you what. If I win, I’ll still cook you dinner at my place, but you have to do the dishes.”
“Okay,” she quickly agreed.
“Just know that I’m not a very good cook. You might be getting a TV dinner, which, on the bright side, means there’ll be fewer dishes to wash.”
“Duly noted.”
“Okay, come here.” She took a step closer to me. I gently turned her around until her back was pressed against my chest. Damn, she smelled
good, and being close to her caused emotions to pool in my chest as I remembered our time in Ireland. “Pull your pole back like this,” I said softly in her ear as I covered her hands with mine, mimicking the moves that she would need to make. “You see this button. Press it in as you fling the pole forward, so that the line can cast out, then let it go. Reel it in just enough to put some tension in your line. When you see your bobber being pulled under the water, jerk your line, and start reeling it in.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“I am so going to win,” she promised me.
I gave her some room, and while she practiced casting, I put a buzzbait lure on my line. On the first cast, I pulled in a bass. I removed the hook, tossed the fish back in the water, and cast again.
And that’s when I felt it. Shit. Something was scraping across the back of my neck.
“What’s going….” Flanagan’s words slowly ground to a halt once she realized what she had done.
She drew in a sharp intake of breath when she realized that her hook was stuck in the back of my shirt. Her delicate eyebrows, which were darker than her hair, drew together, furrowing her brow. “I’m so sorry.”
She set her pole down and rushed over to me. “Bend down so I can see.”
I lowered myself to my knees, so she could disentangle the hook. Her fingers were on my neck as she examined the situation. “You’re bleeding!” She pulled and tugged, and then she stopped altogether. “I’m afraid I’m going to tear your shirt, and the worm’s in the way.”
“Did you hook me that good?” I asked.
“I’m afraid so.”
I pulled my shirt over my head, being cautious about the hook protruding out of the back. Once I had the shirt off, I felt her hands on my back. “It’s just a little scratch,” she announced, examining the source of the blood.
I carefully removed the hook, rose back to my feet, and handed it to her. “Here. Maybe we should be wearing safety goggles. Fishing is more dangerous than I thought.”
She nodded her head in agreement, a smile touching her lips. “Almost as dangerous as skating.” Her eyes fell to my chest, and she pressed her lips together and swallowed before lifting them back to my face and taking the hook from my hand. “I promise I’ll be careful.”
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