“Please,” she whispered.
“Sure.”
“How soon?”
Stunned, I tried to think. I had no plans set in stone. “Umm, I could leave now. Or did you need some time?”
“I’m already in Creekview. I’m in Mandy’s parking lot. Could you meet me here?”
“Yeah. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll see you there.”
“Okay.”
After I hung up the phone, I sprang from the bed, slid my feet in a pair of hot pink flip-flops and combed my hair back into a ponytail. I glanced at myself in the mirror, wondering if I should take the time to put on makeup. I was torn between not wanting to look like shit in front of the other woman who was after Cade and my curiosity eating me alive from the inside out if I didn’t hurry up and get there. I briefly wondered whether I should call Cade but quickly dismissed the idea.
I halted, wondering whether meeting her was a bad idea but knowing that I would meet with her regardless.
Grabbing my purse and my car keys from the dresser, I raced to the door. I would take my chances because I was dying to know what she wanted.
I flew through the back streets of Creekview, hoping no cops had set up a speed trap. Right before I arrived at Mandy’s Restaurant, I slowed down, scoping out the parking lot before I pulled in.
As usual, there were several cars in the parking lot, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I didn’t see Jessica standing outside, and I could only assume that she had already gone in.
A nervous sweat beaded on my forehead, and I pulled into a parking spot, leaving the engine running as I turned the air conditioner on full blast and aimed it at my face.
With a sickening feeling churning in my stomach, I wondered if she was here to tell me that it was indeed Cade’s child. No matter how much I wanted to believe Cade, I knew that if she tried to convince me the baby was his, the only way to ever be sure was to insist on a paternity test.
I took a few calming breaths and glanced at my reflection in the rearview mirror. Digging in my purse, I pulled out a tube of pink lipstick and quickly applied it before turning off the ignition and getting out of the car.
I was self-conscious as I walked into Mandy’s. Holding my head high, I grabbed the handle of the glass door and pulled it open, the smell of home-cooked meals greeting me. After stepping into the air-conditioned diner, I swept my eyes across the room, searching for Jessica. She was sitting in a booth in the back corner, her eyes focused on me. She motioned to me, and I quickly closed the distance between us and slid into the seat across from her.
“Thank you for meeting me,” she said softly, watching me with sad, red-rimmed eyes.
“No problem.” I wanted to dispense with the small talk and get to the crux of the matter. I noticed the carrier sitting on the black vinyl seat beside her, and I saw the profile of a tiny sleeping face turned into the side of the carrier, a fuzzy blue blanket pulled up to his chin.
I quickly focused back on Jessica, not wanting to search the baby’s face for Cade’s features.
“Can I buy you a coffee?” she asked.
I wasn’t a big coffee drinker, but I would humor her. “Sure.” She summoned the server and ordered two coffees.
“I wanted to apologize to you,” she said.
My jaw dropped open, and I quickly closed my mouth. That wasn’t how I expected the conversation to begin. “Apologize to me?”
She nodded, her face crumpling as tears began to flow. I could tell she wanted to speak, but her emotions had left her incapable at the moment. I pulled a napkin from the holder and handed it to her as I waited somewhat impatiently for her to regain her composure.
She swiped at her tears, and I thought about my own tears earlier.
“I lied.” Her voice was just a hair above a whisper, and I strained to hear her.
“I beg your pardon?”
The server delivered our coffees and made a quick exit, probably because it was obvious we were in the middle of a heavy conversation.
“When I went to his parent’s house,” Jessica continued, wadding the napkin in her fist, “I lied.” She turned to gaze at the baby in the carrier beside her. “He’s not Cade’s baby.”
I felt as if a chain had been crushing my chest, and she had just turned the key in the lock and set me free. “He’s not?”
She quickly shook her head. “His real father….” She hesitated, glancing up at me. “I assume Cade told you.”
“He did.”
Sniffling, she nodded. “I don’t even know who he is. My parents are dead, and I don’t really have any family. I had just moved to Kentucky and gotten a job at a restaurant owned by an elderly couple. I’m the only employee under the age of sixty, so I don’t even have any friends really. So I called Cade.”
So far, everything Cade had told me corresponded perfectly with her story.
“He was kind enough to help me when I had no one else, and now I’ve….” She started sobbing, and I found myself sympathizing with her. She took a deep breath and started speaking again, “now I’ve screwed things up for him.”
“Shouldn’t you be telling him this?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done.” She tilted her head back and groaned. “I can’t believe I was so stupid and selfish. I’ve done something terrible to the one person who helped me when I was totally alone.”
Part of me wanted to agree with her, but she had plunged the knife in her chest all by herself. Instead of twisting it, I tried to put myself in her shoes. “So you and Cade aren’t engaged?” I knew Cade had denied it, but I wanted to hear it from her.
She shook her head, gazing at the baby again before she looked back at me. “No. We talked about it in the beginning as a possibility. We agreed to wait and discuss it after Joseph was born.” She licked her lips. “But then you came along. I could tell, you know, that he had someone else. I didn’t know it was you, but I knew there was someone. He started calling less frequently, coming less often, but he always checked on me. He came to most of my doctor’s appointments, and he came to the hospital when I was in labor. He drove me home and took care of me.
“When he told me about you, I got so scared. I told him I understood, and I did. But then the fear of losing the one person who I’ve depended on all this time started setting in, and I panicked. He told me that he would be busy that night, that he would be eating dinner at his parents’ house. I thought if I confronted him about the baby, if I let his parents think they had a grandchild, then maybe he would stick with our original plan, that maybe marriage was still an option. But I hadn’t counted on you being there.” She drew in a breath. “And when I saw Paxton….” Tears streamed down her face. “It was such a stupid idea born out of desperation and fear. I’m terrified of being alone.”
Her last sentence resonated within me. It was my greatest fear. Nothing terrified me more than the thought of being alone.
With her confession, a lot of the anger and resentment I’d had toward her dissipated. I could see why Cade had wanted to help her. She was terrified, a wild animal backed in a corner.
At least she had a baby. That guaranteed that she would never truly be alone, but I also understood that as a new mother, she was probably petrified of raising a child alone. Cade had said as much to me, and I knew now how well he understood Jessica.
I assumed that she didn’t know the chain reaction she had initiated with her false confession, but it wasn’t my place to tell her. One could sit and discuss scenarios all day long and never come up with the one that had played out in the Mayfield household.
“Cade cares about you and the baby, Jessica. Just because the two of you don’t get married doesn’t mean that he won’t still help you.”
“I know, but it’s not fair to him. I’ll just cause problems for the two of you, and I’ve done enough of that already. There is one good thing that came out of my appearance at Cade’s dinner.”
“What’s that?”
&nbs
p; “It made me realize that things are better this way because I still love Paxton. That night I went to the Mayfields confirmed it.”
“So why don’t you tell him?”
She swiped at her tears. “Didn’t Cade tell you the history between the three of us?”
I nodded. “He did.”
“Paxton told me that he would never speak to me again, and he’s kept his word.”
“Maybe if you tried….”
She shook her head vigorously. “No, he won’t change his mind. He can be extremely stubborn.”
I smiled at her comment. “He can be an ass.”
A soft laugh escaped her lips. “Yeah, he can be, but he can also be incredibly sweet.”
The baby woke up, his pitiful cries tugging at my soul. Jessica quickly scooped him out of the carrier. “He’s hungry,” she said as she scooted out of the booth and stood. “I left his bottle in the car. I’ll be right back.”
“You want me to hold him while you go get it?” I asked.
A shocked expression settled on her face. “You want to hold him?”
“Yes, I’d like that.”
She held him out to me, and I cradled him in my arms.
“I’ll be right back,” she said again before hurrying down the aisle.
His little red face tightened into a pout before he opened his mouth again and emitted a gurgling cry.
My heart melted, and I gently shook him in my arms as I cooed to him. “It’s okay,” I whispered. “Mommy will be right back.”
He cried again, and I lifted him to my shoulder, gently patting him as he quieted. He smelled as if he had been freshly bathed and slathered in lotion. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, unable to stop the motherly longings from flowing through my body.
I gently kissed his crown, surprised by how much I liked the feeling of this tiny being in my arms.
“I’m back,” Jessica said breathlessly as she approached the table. She held a bottle and a cloth diaper.
Reluctant to give up my hold on this tiny babe, I asked, “Do you mind if I feed him?”
“Not at all.” She handed me the bottle. I tilted him in my arms and held the nipple to his mouth, and his lips latched on greedily. Jessica smoothed the cloth diaper beneath his chin as he grunted in satisfaction.
I laughed. “He’s a hungry little fellow, isn’t he?”
Jessica smiled. “He has a healthy appetite.”
I’d watched a woman in Belfast feed her infant. She had turned to her husband and said, “Have ye ever seen a more bonny wean?” I remembered thinking then how much I would love to have children. During my childhood, I had always wanted siblings, and despite the problems I’d seen in Cade and Pax’s relationship, I knew they were still lucky to have each other, along with Evan.
The baby made a loud smacking noise, bringing my attention back to him.
He was beautiful, and I could absolutely see Cade raising him as his own, teaching him how to bait a fishing hook, how to nock an arrow, how to patiently wait in a tree stand for the perfect buck.
“You have every reason to hate me for the things I said at Cade’s dinner, but I truly am sorry.” Jessica’s soft voice broke through my musings, and I glanced at her.
“I forgive you, but I think Cade’s the one that really needs to hear it.”
She dabbed at her nose with the napkin. “You’re right. I’ll talk to him. I shouldn’t have asked you to come here.”
“No, it’s okay,” I assured her. “I’m glad we had a chance to meet.”
“I see why he’s so crazy about you.” The corners of her mouth lifted, but she never quite smiled. “I should go. I really just wanted to apologize and now that I have….”
“Maybe we can talk again some time,” I offered as she stood and took the baby from my arms.
“Maybe so.”
When I’d agreed to talk to Jessica, dozens of scenarios flitted through my mind on how our meeting would go. None of them had ended with me relating to what she was going through. Or with me falling instantly in love with her child.
But even though this conversation had helped me understand this issue from Cade’s perspective, we still had a potential barrier between us.
One he knew nothing about.
Chapter 22
Now You’re Sucking Diesel
Seren
It was Saturday morning. Cade had worked at the gym all day on Friday and planned to be back at work this morning to give Paxton and Evan some time off.
I pulled on a pair of black spandex pants and a lime green tank top. I brushed my hair into a sleek ponytail, and after examining my reflection in the full-length mirror, I put on my shoes and headed to the gym.
Even though I had talked to Cade on the phone last night, I hadn’t mentioned my conversation with Jessica. Since it had been an important topic of conversation where our relationship was concerned, I opted to wait and discuss it in person.
After arriving at Flex Appeal, I glanced around the gym. Lizzie, a fitness model who worked part-time at the gym, stood behind the reception desk. Several bodybuilders were working out with the free weights. A petite blonde jogged on a treadmill, and a brunette curled a small set of dumbbells. As my eyes bounced from person to person, I finally determined that Cade wasn’t in the room.
“He ran an errand. He’ll be back in a few minutes.” Surprised, I turned to see Hawk, and I realized how obvious I must have been since I had frozen in one spot while I scanned the room.
“I’ll catch up with him in a few, then. Is Amber here with you?”
“She’s working today. She doesn’t like coming to the gym much during warm weather, anyway. She prefers riding her bike or walking, so she can enjoy the outdoors.”
“Can’t blame her for that. At least not until the heat of the summer gets here.”
“You just missed Mason. He was headed home so he could get ready for work. Next time you see him tell him he looks like he’s losing muscle mass.” Hawk grinned. “Cade was riding him hard about not coming to the gym much in the last couple of weeks.”
The three of them were always giving each other a hard time, and I gave Hawk a thumbs-up. “Losing muscle mass. Got it. I think I’ll wait until after he fixes my drink, though. Wouldn’t want him retaliating.”
“He won’t mess with you because if he messes with you, he messes with Lexi, and I’d like to think all of us are smart enough not to antagonize our girls.”
“Are you kidding me right now, Hawk? Y’all are men. Sooner or later, y’all are going to do something to put yourselves in the doghouse. That’s a known fact.” I took into consideration that I was talking to Hawk, who could probably be found on any given day helping a grandma across the street while simultaneously saving an entire troop of Girl Scouts from a raging fire. “Then again, that probably doesn’t apply to you, but it most definitely applies to Cade and Mason.”
He shot me a grin. “Make sure Amber knows I’m exempt the next time you see her.”
“Oh, she knows.”
His smile widened. “When you see Cade, tell him I headed out.”
I nodded my head. As he walked toward the exit, I climbed on a stationary bicycle to warm up. As I began pedaling, my mind replayed my conversation with Jessica.
Cade had already informed me about her tragic circumstances, and it seemed that he hadn’t been exaggerating. I thought about my own fears, and as real as my fears were, I realized without Cade in her life, Jessica would truly be alone.
My heart ached for her as I imagined how difficult it must be to raise a child on one’s own, and her child was still a newborn. She hadn’t even gotten to some of the more exhausting moments of motherhood.
I headed over to a bench pressing machine. After setting it on my desired weight, I began working out. It felt good, and as I increased my repetitions, I began to feel a bit less stressed.
When I finished, I sat up and saw Cade stirring behind the reception desk. He and Lizzie seemed to be in a deep discussion
about paperwork, and then I saw her point to me. When his eyes met mine, I gave him a little wave.
He looked pleased as he headed in my direction, and my heart stopped as I admired his physical beauty. He wore a lightweight gray sleeveless shirt that fit snuggly against his toned shoulders and abs but left his ripped biceps in plain sight. His dark hair was somewhat spiked in a deliciously disheveled way, and it reminded me of how he had looked the morning after we’d made love.
“Hey, Flanagan.” He kissed my cheek, and I loved that he wasn’t afraid to show his affection for me despite the fact that we were surrounded by people.
“Hi.” I wondered how he was dealing with everything that had happened with his parents. “Are you doing okay, considering?”
He waved my concerns away with his hand. “Hell, yeah. Shit happens, right? Not much we can do but deal with it and keep on shoveling.”
I could tell he didn’t want to delve into the details.
He shifted his stance. “I’m more interested in talking about us.”
“Jessica called me yesterday.”
“What?” he asked, a troubled expression crossing his features.
I nodded, glancing at Lizzie behind the counter before turning back to him. “Yeah, she called me, and I met her at Mandy’s Restaurant.”
He took me by the elbow. “Let’s go to the office.”
“Okay.”
His hand slipped down my forearm until he grasped my palm. Holding on to my hand, he pulled me along behind him as we made our way around the equipment and stepped behind the reception desk and into the hallway that led to the offices.
Once we were in his office, he released my hand and shut the door. “I’m sorry,” he said, as he turned to me. “I had no idea she would contact you. I’ve been trying to get ahold of her.”
I immediately shook my head. “No, it’s fine. We actually had a very good conversation. I like her, and I can see why you contemplated marrying her.”
“I want you to remember,” he reiterated, “that the whole marriage thing with Jessica started before you came back to Creekview.”
I smiled and took his hands in mine, hoping to ease his distress. “I know, Cade.”
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