She tilts her head up, her blue eyes searching my face. I trace my finger down her cheek. She closes her eyes, and I kiss her.
* * *
I stop at home before heading to the hospital, but enter my room from the patio door. Mom is at home and I don’t want an interrogation. I just need to change my clothes and head out. But as I walk back to the Jeep, she walks outside, shouting my name. I turn around to look at her; she’s walking towards me, holding something in her hands.
“Are you going to the hospital?”
“Yeah, all day today.”
“I’ve packed some lunch for you and your dad.” She hands me a bag with two plastic containers in it, and I almost allow myself to feel relieved. “I know you didn’t stay at Matt’s last night. I’m disappointed that you lied to me, Adam.”
I blanch. “What?”
“Matt was over at Brianna’s last night, and you weren’t there, but we’ll talk about it later. Go get this food to your father before his afternoon surgery.” She turns around to leave without another word.
20 Livia
Mom called. My family is on their way home, and Uncle Henry is staying the night here. In the meantime, I looked up St. Cecilia's Church and Convent on the web. I’ve dialed their number a couple times, but I keep losing my nerve and hanging up when someone answers. I’m dialing it again—it rings three times, and the same lady with a rasping voice answers.
“Hi, I’m looking for Sister Angelina.” My voice shakes a bit.
“I am sorry, but Sister Angelina passed away last Tuesday.”
“Yes, Angelina Olsen, but I wanted to talk to the other Sister Angelina.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re referring to. There was only one sister Angelina at St. Cecilia’s.”
My breath comes short. “Um, yes, thank you for your time!” I hang up the phone and bury my face in my hands. This is exactly what I feared. Then who is this Angelina that went looking for my family last Thursday? My mom must have an explanation for that.
I end up trying to keep my mind occupied. I could take Bento for a walk, but I actually have some studying to do for school. I sit on the couch and open my history book. Half an hour later, I haven’t read one page. My thoughts are buzzing like a beehive.
I think about Sister Angelina and my birth parents. I think about Adam and everything I’m hiding from him. Has he noticed? Sometimes when he looks at me, I feel that we connect, and he just understands me. He tries to give me privacy, but I can tell he wants to know more; he’s waiting for me to open up.
I put my book down when I hear Bento barking at the door, and Mom steps inside the house a moment later.
“Mom?” She turns to face me with a big smile on her face.
“Hi, Livia!” She gives me her usual big hug hello. “We got stuck in the border traffic. How are you?”
“Where is everyone else?” I ask.
“Your dad took Henry and the boys down to see the horses.”
“How is Grandma doing?”
“She is doing well. She has a nurse at her house helping her with daily tasks.”
Mom leaves it at that and walks into the kitchen, putting a frozen pizza in the oven as she announces, “Everyone is starving!”
I move into the dining room and automatically begin setting the table. I need to distract myself, keep calm and not throw one hundred questions in her face. I don’t want to make dinner unpleasant, so I settle for waiting for the right time.
Dad and Uncle Henry walk in the house through the back door, and the boys follow. “I’m starving!” Ian chirps. “Is the food ready yet?”
“Hello to you, Ian!” I quip good-naturedly.
I greet them all and we sit down for dinner. Dad gets straight to it and tells the whole story about Grandma having a heart attack on the cruise ship and how well the company handled the situation. He says we are all going to visit her when she’s ready for guests. Uncle Henry needs to get back to New York tomorrow, but he’ll be coming here more often to visit Grandma.
I hear them talking, their voices echoing in my head for minutes on end, but I can’t pay attention. It’s not until after the meal, when Mom has taken the boys upstairs for a shower, do I sit back down at the clean table and interrupt the conversation between my father and Henry.
“We need to talk,” I say, and I instantly feel their emotions shifting from concern to apprehension, and the veil comes up. Uncle Henry is the first one to cover up. As always, his shield is solid. But they are both drinking wine, and both veils are weaker than usual.
“What is it, Livia?” Dad asks.
“As you probably know, Sister Angelina passed away. But before that, she left this message on our answering machine.” I get up and play it back for them. Dad immediately flushes with disappointment.
“Livia, Sister Angelina was not able to contact me before she passed. Your mom tried to call many times, but she was never available. I’m sorry.”
I look to my Uncle Henry. “But she did contact Uncle Henry, didn’t she? You know what she wanted, don’t you?”
He gives me the Look, and at that moment, I can tell that he hasn’t told Dad about it, and I don’t think he was planning to. He looks at my dad and grimaces. “Sorry, Nick. I wanted to wait until you had less going on.” Uncle Henry turns to face me. “Livia, I’m afraid I don’t have good news.”
He looks from me to Dad, shaking his head. “She told me someone came asking for Nick at the convent. The person was a woman in her early twenties, looking for the baby that was dropped off there seventeen years ago. The woman didn’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl and was definitely too young to be your biological mother. Sister Angelina assumed that the woman was a reporter. She believed someone tipped her off and she was fishing for a story on illegal adoption supported by the church.”
I nod, but it doesn’t make too much sense to me. “If someone knew about the adoption, why didn’t they tell on the church seventeen years ago?”
Uncle Henry shrugs.
“Well,” I say, “whoever this woman is knows where we lived. Alyssa said a young woman in her early twenties went looking for my dad at our old building Wednesday morning. The strange thing is that she was dressed as a nun and called herself Angelina.”
Uncle Henry’s emotions shift to panic. He tries to keep it covered, but between the wine and the force of his feelings, he isn’t able to.
“Did Alyssa see this woman?” Dad asks.
“Yes, and she gave her our home phone number.”
“What?” Uncle Henry is on his feet, distressed. I feel fear, anger, and complete desperation. He is so vulnerable he doesn’t even bother to stay subtle.
“You need to change your home phone as soon as possible, Nick. If she got a hold of that number, she has your address.”
“I’ll call the company first thing in the morning,” Dad says, and he doesn’t seem as worried as Uncle Henry.
“Not tomorrow, Nick—do it now! If this woman is a reporter, you don’t want her to find you.”
“All right! I’ll call now, but it’s not like this lady can prove anything.” Dad gets up, retrieves his cell from his pocket, and heads into the living room.
I wait until he is gone and then turn on Henry, watching him carefully. “Uncle, what aren’t you telling us?”
“Livia, have you noticed anyone hovering around the house?” He asks, as if I never even spoke. “Or did anyone call here looking for your father?”
“No, nobody.”
“Have you come across anyone who seemed strange? Someone whose emotions you can’t comprehend?” Fear is pouring from Uncle Henry’s body.
I did come across that person in the airplane. Someone was hollow, empty of feeling. But, I can’t tell my uncle that. He doesn’t know I was in a plane.
“Ms. Johnson, my Literature teacher—she is pretty strange. She shields her emotions, and she is even better at it than you.” I watch as Uncle Henry rubs his face and sighs. He definitel
y knows something I don’t, or why else would he ask me these questions? “But how would you know to ask me that in the first place?”
“That’s a good question.”
“Then I deserve a good answer.” I lock my eyes on his, trying to read what’s behind them. I sense that his concerns are overwhelming him. His mind is trying to find the best excuse he can give me. “Don’t lie to me, Uncle. You know I can tell.”
“I don’t want to lie to you, but I don’t have the answer you want. What I know will only puzzle you even more.”
“Are you kidding me?” I ask in disbelief. “You’re acting like I’m in danger—you fear for me and you won’t tell me why?”
“Sister Angelina told me that the lady went looking for you at the convent, and she wasn’t alone. They demanded answers from her and she was afraid.”
“Why are people looking for me? Could they be my biological parents?”
“They were too young to be your parents. The only thing I can guess is that they know about your adoption, or…”
“They know about my abilities?”
I can sense my uncle measuring his words. “No, I don’t see how that’s possible,” he says, but I know he knows more than what he’s telling me.
“So I shouldn’t worry?”
Uncle Henry nods. His mind is wandering, and whatever he is keeping from me, he’s keeping from my parents, too. I want to know what it is, but I won’t be getting anything from him tonight. There are only secrets and more secrets, and I don’t understand why—he’s always been my ally.
“Livia, just remember to keep your abilities hidden at all times. That’s what worries me.”
“You don’t need to worry about that,” I say. He nods, but says no more.
I give him a hug goodnight and, as his arms go across my back, I’m dragged into his mind. There is nothing but fire and the sensation of air rushing out of my lungs, and I can’t breathe. Smoke smothers the room and I’m searching for an exit; I find a door and kick it open, and I’m back in the living room and falling through my uncle’s grip.
I hit the floor gasping for air, and when I open my eyes, Dad and Uncle Henry are pounding on my back and calling my name. I manage to pull myself up with my dad’s help.
“What happened?” he asks.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t breathe.” I look at my uncle, who’s staring at me in shock. That was his memory, and whatever it was about, it felt like something awful was about to happen.
“Are you okay now?” my uncle asks, and I nod.
“Yeah, I just need to go lie down. I’m tired.”
“Are you sure?” Dad touches my neck to check my pulse, and I smile at them, just to reassure that everything is fine. “Okay,” he sighs. “Call us if you need anything.”
Reluctantly, Dad lets me go and I tell him goodnight, though it will be many hours until I am able to sleep.
* * *
I wake up at 8:30 a.m. to the sun shining though my curtains. It’s about time for a sunny day. I get out of bed, eager to see a blue morning. I open my curtains to let the sunlight in, and I spot Adam down in the yard, walking into the barn. The sight of him is enough to make my heart race.
I throw on jeans shorts, a plain red t-shirt, and tie my Chucks on. I walk downstairs and I instantly smell fresh brewed coffee. I pour two cups and slip outside, where Uncle Henry is just leaving the barn.
“Hey kiddo!” He waves me over. “Good morning! It’s a nice blue sky today.” Well, he’s feeling peachy this morning. I wonder what has changed since last night and if he thinks I’ll let him off the hook that easy. He’s playing a game, but for now, I’ll pretend I don’t notice. If I hang around him long enough, I might be able to figure out what he’s hiding from me, and what that memory last night has to do with me. I didn’t see him in it but it sure felt like we were both there.
“Yeah, finally. Did you meet Adam?”
“Yes I did.” He looks back to the barn. “He seems to know a lot about horses.” He is smiling, but I see there is something more behind his eyes.
“Yeah, he loves horses.”
Silence hangs between us for a moment before he turns back around. “Well, the horses are running out of food, so I asked Adam to come with me to get some, since I’m not sure where the best place for that is.”
“I’ll come with you, too!” I say. We agree to meet at the garage in ten minutes. I tug open the barn door and Adam is standing with Aphrodite outside of her stall, combing the knots out of her mane.
“Hey, you brought me coffee?” He accepts the mug with a trace of his cocky smile. I can’t imagine how I ever thought it was serious—he only acts arrogant as a kind of joke.
“I see you met my Uncle.”
“Um, yeah, I sure did.” He takes a sip of the coffee and frowns.
“What that’s supposed to mean? Was he rude to you?”
“No! He is nice, but he asked me tons of questions about me and my family.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, mulling this over in my head. “He’s been acting strange.”
I walk up to Aphrodite and pet her. I wish I could take her out, but Adam would never agree; he doesn’t know that I can’t really get hurt anymore. I look at him and he’s looking back at me.
“You’re ready to ride her again, aren’t you?” He asks without a smile. His eyes are almost accusing.
“Yes, I am. I’m not going to let that accident scare me away from her.”
“She isn’t ready.” He takes Aphrodite’s reins to walk her outside.
“Wait,” I say, holding his arm. He stops but he doesn’t look at me. “What is it?” He turns to face me now, and his expression hard to read.
“The accident wasn’t meant to scare you..” He exhales heavily and shuts his eyes. “I don’t want you to be scared, but I don’t want you getting hurt again.”
He approaches and wraps his arms around my waist. He looks right into my eyes and I hold his gaze. His eyes so penetrating that I feel the urge look down, but if anyone could see my soul, I’d want it to be him. I trace my hand through his hair down to his neck, pulling his face closer to mine, and I kiss him good morning.
21 Adam
I drive Livia and her uncle to the store to get some horse food and vitamins, but we end up staying longer—her uncle wants to look around at all the tack and feed that I guess you can’t buy in New York City. Livia walks up to the dog toys aisle and I follow her. She wants to get Bento some toys and it gives us something to do while waiting for her uncle. After she gathers a bagful, we head to the cashier, where I see her uncle paying for the food and vitamins.
“Do you think this bone is too small for Bento?” Livia asks, pulling a shrink-wrapped pork shank out of her bag. I turn, but my eyes slide past her and out the window. Standing next to my Jeep in the parking lot, his head covered with the black hoodie he’s wearing, is Stevens.
“Adam? Adam!” Livia turns me around to look at her.
“What?”
“Are you even listening to me?”
“I think he’ll like anything.”
I turn to see if Stevens is still there, and not only is he, but he’s talking to Livia’s uncle, who has exited the store and keeps glancing back our way in distress.
“Does my uncle know that guy?” asks Livia. She looks worried and starts out of the building.
“Livia, wait up!” I call out. She turns to look at me. “You haven’t paid yet!”
“Oh!” To my relief, she walks back inside to the cashier. I take one look outside and Stevens is gone. Livia’s uncle is leaning against my truck, his hand pressed to his temple.
After Bento’s toys are paid for, we make our way outside. “Uncle? Who was that?” Livia asks as we approach him.
“Oh, I don’t know who he is. He was just asking me for directions.” Livia stares at her uncle with doubt. “Have any of you seen him around before?”
I contemplate telling him the truth, but for some reason I don’t feel like I s
hould. “No, must be a tourist.” I open the Jeep’s door. As I get in, I see a note on my seat. It’s from Stevens; he must have slid it through my cracked-open window. I put it in my pocket before Livia or her uncle notices it.
I keep replaying the scene from just a minute ago in my head, and I could swear Livia’s uncle was having an argument with Stevens. Livia must feel the same way, because she stares out the window on the way back and ignores her uncle’s small talk.
When we get to Livia’s house, I tell her I have to go home and study. I need some time alone to think, and I can’t concentrate around her.
“Will I see you later?” she asks.
“How about we go watch the sunset at Fort Casey?”
“Sounds great!”
She kisses me goodbye.
* * *
I’ve been at the lake since I left Livia’s house, debating whether I should look for Stevens. The note he left in the Jeep has an address where I can find him. I have to talk to him and see what he knows about me. It’s not an easy decision, because in truth, I’m afraid of what I might find out. But the more I think about it, I know I have to try. I can’t keep avoiding the truth forever.
The sun is starting to descend but the temperature is only getting hotter. My shirt is damp and stuck to my body. I get up to head home, but hear footsteps coming from the woods.
I turn around slowly to look for the source of the noise, but I don’t hear it anymore. There was someone there, though; the footsteps in the leaves were loud and clear. I walk towards the trees, but no one is there. I wait—nothing! Maybe it was a rabbit, but I could swear it sounded human.
I text Livia as I get home to say I’m picking her up in about an hour. I walk in the living room and my family is gathered, watching a movie. I panic and think of sneaking back out, but Mom sees me first.
“Adam! Where have you been? I tried to call you, but you never answer your phone.”
“Sorry, Mom,” I say, having no choice now but to enter the room and talk to everyone. “I was at the lake—no phone service.” I sit down next to Amanda, who completely ignores my presence.
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