“Something’s happened to Sally,” she managed to tell Mandy, because tears were threatening. Crying was another thing she did not do! “I have to help her. I have to show them….”
There would be other jobs. Anyway, what was a job compared to a life? A life was a collection of defining moments. She thought of the rocks she collected whenever Aunt Flookie took them out to Lake Michigan, each one worn down and spit out by the ever-changing tide. You had to look to find the good ones.
If Pastor Voss wasn’t willing to look, what was she supposed to do?
When she got to the church with Mandy in tow, she found Lenny sitting on the steps, staring over at the Texaco.
“Did you find anything out?” she called, flipping her thumb toward the gas station.
Lenny gave her a glum look. He hesitated. “Owner says Cash was there but left. With a girl.”
So they were right. She motioned for Lenny to follow her as she hurried past the church to the parsonage. There in the driveway sat Pastor Voss’ Ford Galaxie 500. She went over and peered in the window. Just as she suspected, the keys were dangling in the ignition.
“Get in,” she called over her shoulder. The driveway was behind the house. The room above them was probably the pastor’s bedroom. Bedroom! She couldn’t bear to think of all the wonderful mysteries that room would hold.
Lenny stopped. “He’s letting us drive his car?”
“Shhh!” she said, looking quickly toward the open window. “Just get in! You too, Mandy.”
Mandy obeyed but Lenny was frozen in place.
“You’re stealing Voss’ car?”
“It’s not stealing,” Nell whispered. “Just borrowing.”
He made a face. She could tell that he didn’t believe she’d do it.
“Come on,” she said, exasperated. Lenny of all people should understand. Obviously it took some rabble-rousing to be the center of attention. Well, she could rabble rouse with the best of them.
She opened the driver’s side door with sweating palms. She was an okay driver, but not what anyone would call confident. She was climbing in when Lenny ran over and pushed her.
“Are you crazy?” he said. “I’m already in trouble, remember?”
“So stay here. I’ll go alone.”
“Go where?”
“To find Sally.”
“You don’t even know where she is!”
“I’ve got Dad’s address,” she said. Lenny said nothing and Nell knew he’d seen the same slip of paper. Sally had it taped to her bedroom mirror, just daring someone to take it down.
“You’re taking her with you,” he said, pointing at Mandy sitting in the back seat. As in sure you are.
Nell flashed the girl a bright smile. “Don’t worry Mandy. I’ll have you home soon.”
“I don’t have to go home all day,” Mandy said. “Mona said so.”
“Then we’re good to go.” Nell pulled the door shut quietly and rolled the window down for some air.
Lenny leaned in. “Wait. This is not a good idea.”
“When did that ever stop you?”
“I don’t steal cars!”
Nell looked over her shoulder. “Mandy, I’m not really stealing. You know that, right?”
“I don’t care if you steal or not. I know you’re a good person.”
Nell smiled. Everyone else would know it too.
“Will you let me go?” she said to Lenny. “I haven’t got all day.” Prudy might be heading over right now to join forces with Pastor Voss. She didn’t want to get caught just sitting here.
“You’ll get arrested!”
Nell hesitated. She didn’t believe that, but she knew she could lose her job. And she hadn’t even tried on the uniform yet! But better now than after she got to know all the kids. What happened to that nice crossing lady? Oh, didn’t you hear?
She turned the key and the car purred to life. She put it carefully in reverse.
Lenny jumped back as the Ford started to roll. “For chrissake!” he hissed. He ran around the front and flung open the passenger door.
“Will you a wait a goddamn minute and tell me what your plan is?” he said.
“I just told you!”
Didn’t he get it? Having a plan was not the point! If she found Sally no one would care about how she did it. If not, well, this was the kind of impetuous mistake—a momentary dance with the devil!—that would require hours of counseling with a spiritual leader.
He managed to get in the seat and shut the door before she was out of the driveway. He stared at her as she turned and braked, shifted into drive, pointed the car down 17th Street and stepped on the gas.
“This is stupid,” he said. “Why not just let them go to the damn banquet together?”
“Fine by me,” she said, her knuckles white on the wheel.
“Bullshit! If it’s fine with you, what are we doing in this car?”
“They’ll thank me when I get Sally home safely.”
“Sure, Mom will love this. Now she’ll have a daughter charged with grand theft auto.”
“I’m not doing anything for Mom!” It came out like a snarl. Nell took a breath. “I want Sally to be happy.”
Lenny looked at her suspiciously. She tried to concentrate on her movements but it was hard. Her hands were where his had been. She was sitting where he sat. Every sag, every lump in the car seat was put there by the pressure of his body.
“Is this the way to the highway?” she asked, breathless.
There was a long pause. “Pull over,” said Lenny.
“No. You’re not stopping me.”
“I said pull over. You drive like shit.”
“Stop it, you’re scaring Mandy.”
But when Nell glanced in the rear view mirror she saw Mandy smiling.
“No, he’s not,” Mandy said.
“Nell!” Lenny grabbed the wheel.
“Oh all right!” She coasted to the side of the road. Whose robbery was this anyway?
Lenny jumped out and ran around. “Move over.”
She moved, not wanting to admit she was relieved to have him drive. As long as she got credit for the heist. That’s what she’d call it in her diary. Today I pulled a heist.
He got in and revved the engine a few times before pulling back into the street. They were going faster now. As far as Nell knew, he drove a lot less than she did, but he knew what he was doing.
What was she doing? With someone else at the wheel, she was overcome with uncertainty.
He gave her a quick glance. “You don’t mind if Dad goes to the banquet?”
She sighed. “No.”
“Even if it means you have to see him?”
“Lenny,” she began, then stopped. Everything was so complicated. It wasn’t a question of minding. It was about sacrifice. About enduring what you don’t want, to be rewarded with what you do.
“Ok,” he said, like something was decided. He spun the wheel sharply, making a U-turn in the intersection.
Mandy flopped to one side in the backseat. Nell clutched at the armrest. “What’s going on?” she cried, alarmed.
“Sally won’t find him in Kalamazoo because he’s not there. He’s here, living with Rhoda Raymond’s mom. I’ve seen him.”
“What? Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
He shrugged. “Didn’t see the point.”
Nell gaped. “I hope you see it now!” she said. “Now that your sister’s run away!”
“How was I supposed to know she’d do something so stupid?”
“You should have told me!” She tried to imagine Lenny with their dad. “Have you talked to him?”
“Yep. That’s how I knew he didn’t write that letter.”
“What did he say? What’s he look like?”
“You’ll see for yourself. Since we’ve got the car, we may as well put an end to this whole mess. We’ll go get him and then find Sally. Once the two of them are hooked up it’ll either work out or it won’t.”
&n
bsp; They were flying down James Street, out toward the blueberry farms. Nell saw the pavement whiz by and felt dizzy. It was all too fast.
“Just drop Mandy and me off,” she said, hearing the panic in her voice. “We’ll get a bus home.” She wasn’t ready! What would she say? What would he say? Would he recognize her? Should she comb her hair?
Lenny was shaking his head. “No way. You started this.”
“I’ve got to get Mandy home!”
“You should have thought of that before.”
Mandy leaned forward and rested her chin on the front seat. “I don’t want to go home,” she said.
“Lenny, please!” Don’t make me go back there! He wouldn’t know what she meant if she said that. She hardly knew herself, except that it felt like he was pulling her back to a time when she hated everything about herself. She didn’t have room for that anymore, not when she was gearing up for love.
Lenny drove faster, his face set in a grim line, and soon they were rolling to a stop outside a group of weathered white shacks. How could Lenny do this? Just drive right up, cool as a cucumber! There were cats, scads of them, circling the yard and a row of navy work pants hanging from a line. Further back there was a man sleeping in a chair, a hat covering his face, his brown arms hanging heavy to the ground. A migrant camp! Her dad lived here? Nell tried to speak but her throat was dry. It was as if she expected to see some lurching, drunken monster rush out, with an army of Mexican fruit pickers close behind, their tin buckets clanging on their belts, their purple-stained fingers reaching, clawing, closer…closer…. She squeezed her eyes shut and thought of the quiet cool order of the police station. Right about now Sergeant Van Zandt would be looking over his roster, looks like Van Sloeten’s a no show. She was about as far from where she’d planned as a girl could get.
Well. When you start your day by stealing someone’s car, what do you expect?
Lenny sounded the car horn. The sleeping man didn’t move.
“He should be here,” Lenny said. The way his eyes darted around gave him away. He wasn’t so cool. For some reason, this calmed her a little.
“Have you been here before?” she asked.
He wouldn’t answer.
Nell reached back for Mandy’s hand. “It’s okay, Mandy. Everything’s fine.” Mandy was perched on the edge of her seat, her head bobbing, birdlike, as she took it all in.
Hello. That was all Nell needed to say. She didn’t need to smile, or shake hands, or cry or give anything away. Just hello.
A man came out from between two shacks. He walked straight to the open window of the car and leaned in. He was rumpled and easy and could have been any stranger on the street. Except he wasn’t.
“Who have we got here?” he said, nodding at Mandy. Mandy! What did she have to do with anything? Didn’t he recognize Nell, his own daughter?
“I’m a friend of Nell’s,” Mandy said, and Nell held her breath. Now he knew. Hello, it’s me.
He gave Nell a long, thoughtful look, followed by a solemn nod. “Of course, there you are,” he said. “What brings you kids out this way?”
That was it. The big moment, over and done. Nell wondered if she ought to feel slighted. She didn’t. What was there to say, anyway?
“We need you to come with us,” Lenny said. “Sally’s run off looking for you.”
“Aw, dang.” Richard pulled at his face. “Let me guess. Kalamazoo?”
Lenny nodded. “Get in.”
Richard stepped back, his hands on his hips. He cocked his head and chewed the inside of one cheek thoughtfully.
“Hang on,” he said. He disappeared behind one of the houses.
Nell looked at Lenny. “You want to fill me in?” she said.
Lenny licked his lips and fidgeted. “I ran into him at the Torchlight. We had a drink.”
“A drink?”
He shrugged. “Okay, a Coke.”
“But how…”
“That’s it! End of story.”
Sally was writing to him, Lenny was drinking with him. Where did that leave her? Stunned and sweaty in a car with nothing but a black mark next to her name. Just a foolish girl who thinks stealing a man’s car will make him love her! Her dad would see right through her.
If she were another kind of person, one of those smiley, jokey types, she might still turn it around. When Richard came back she might push her hair up with her hands and bat her eyes. Long time no see, she could say with a grin. She wrenched the rear view mirror around and squinted at herself. At least she looked fairly nice, considering she’d expected to be on the job today. That was how the officers talked. How ‘bout Zoerhof? He still on the job?
“Mandy, I’ll ride by you,” she said. She got out and moved to the back seat, smoothing her skirt carefully. At least her dad wouldn’t be staring at the back of her head.
In fact, when he came back wearing a clean blue shirt, he hardly looked at her. Just like old times! He slid in beside Lenny, threw an arm over the back of the seat and said, “Whose car is this?”
“Never mind,” Lenny said.
“Shoot! You’re doing all right for yourself, nice ride like this. American made. Solid choice.”
“It’s not mine. I borrowed it.”
“Still, must be a pretty good friend, let you take this out. I’m glad to hear you’ve got friends.”
Lenny gave him a cool look. “Nell stole it.”
Richard laughed. “Come on!”
“It belongs to Pastor Voss,” Lenny said. “Nell stole it.”
“Are you kidding me?” He looked at Nell in a surprised, admiring way. She felt a flash of pride. Maybe there was something to this trouble making.
“Let me out then,” he said, “I don’t need to be tangling with the cops.”
“Like I do?” said Lenny.
“If we let you out we won’t know where we’re going,” Nell said. Like a ringleader. She liked that.
“I’ll give you directions.”
“Lenny’s no good at directions,” she said. She was, but she didn’t say so. As long as her dad was here, they might as well do what Lenny said. Find Sally and get this over with. Besides, the opportunity might arise to tell him about her crossing guard job. Today was no more than a tiptoe on the wild side. She was no delinquent. She wanted him to know that.
Anyway, Richard didn’t seem very intent on getting out. He heaved a big sigh and his face settled into something close to amusement. A moment later they were flying up the ramp onto US131 toward Kalamazoo.
The air from the open windows whipped through the car and seemed to whip Mandy into life. “Someday I’m going to live with Nell and Sally and their mom,” she shouted. “My dad can visit me because he’ll be right upstairs.”
Nell looked at her, surprised.
“Nell takes me to church and we make things, like boxes out of milk cartons, and picture frames out of Popsicle sticks. Stuff like that.”
“She’s a chatterbox, huh?” Richard said. He nearly had to shout too. “I like kids who keep quiet. You were always quiet, weren’t you Nell?”
“I never got the sense you liked me any better for it!”
Richard cupped a hand to his ear. “What’s that?”
“You never liked me any better!” This was silly, yelling like this. It wasn’t ladylike. She rolled her window up and motioned for Mandy to do the same.
“Awww,” her dad said, seeming very close now in the relative quiet. “Why do you go and say something like that? ‘Course I liked you just fine.”
“That’s not the way I remember it,” she said. Petulant. That’s how she sounded. The shouting felt better.
“I take it you don’t share Sally’s sentiment about getting to know me.”
“That’s right.”
“Like I told Lenny, I don’t blame you. Anyway, look what a mess I am.” He seemed as proud of his downtrodden state as he used to be about his good looks.
“How about you, Mandy?” he said. “You like me just fine, d
on’t you?”
Mandy looked at Nell. “If Nell says I like you, then I do.”
“That ain’t something you ask someone else. Either you like me or you don’t.”
“She doesn’t know you from Adam,” Nell said.
“Neither do we, really,” Lenny said.
“That didn’t stop you all from coming after me, did it? I was having a relaxing morning.”
“Nell and me ain’t been able to relax for weeks, what with Sally bitching and moaning about this banquet.”
“What have you been telling her about me?” Richard asked.
“We tell her the truth,” Nell said.
“Nell always tells the truth,” Mandy said. “She’s a Sunday School teacher.”
“What a surprise,” Richard said dryly. “Your mother’s got you whitewashed pretty well, huh?”
Whitewashed? “I suppose your way of life is preferable,” Nell said.
He chuckled. “How about you, Lenny? You into the church thing too?”
“If Voss has anything to say about it, I will be. He’s got me pretty boxed in.”
“Ah! One more soul for the book of life! That peckerwood.”
Nell gasped and covered Mandy’s ears. “Watch it!”
Richard just laughed again. “It’s a wonder his pecker don’t fall off.”
Lenny perked up. “Why?”
“He was sticking it in the organist and who knows who else at his last church. That’s how come he lost that job and ended up here.”
Nell bolted upright. “That’s not true!”
“Are you kidding?” Lenny said.
“First Reformed, White Plains, Michigan. It’s on my circuit. Or was, I should say.”
Nell shook her head violently. “No! That would have been more than ten years ago! And your… your head’s all bashed in. You don’t know anything!”
Richard shrugged. “Sorry to burst your bubble.”
She looked frantically at Lenny. He didn’t seem the least outraged. He was enjoying this.
“Why should we believe you?” she cried. “You aren’t even in the same league as Pastor Voss!”
“I’m no saint, it’s true. But I don’t pretend to be one, neither.”
Hello Loved Ones Page 14