She stopped and cocked her head. “I do?”
“I mean,” he stammered, “with Montgomery dyin’ and all, ye mun’ ha’e more need…. I dinnae ken what I’m sayin’. I’ll leave ye tae’t…”
“No!” she cried. “Don’t leave.”
“Ye said ye wanted tae be alone.”
She shifted from one foot to the other. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I came up here to be alone, but now that you’re here, I…I realize I don’t want to be. Stay. I want to talk to you.”
“Oh.” He frowned. “What do ye want tae talk aboot?”
“Tell me more about Carmen and the others and what they’re doing. I want to know how you met them and everything that’s going on.”
Callum turned away. “Ye dinnae want tae ken that.”
“What makes you say that? I just said I did want to know, and you’re telling me I don’t. Don’t tell me what I don’t want to know.”
Callum’s head shot up, and he took a second look at her. Everything that happened since he first set foot in this castle convinced him she was a fragile, emotional, sensitive woman. He convinced himself her only value was in caring for others.
He should have known better. She never hesitated before she picked up that halberd. She killed that vampire that bit him, and she drove off the vampire that killed Montgomery. She wasn’t fragile. That was certain. She spent weeks tending the wounded, watching them die, and fighting hard to keep a few of them alive. If she did all that, she must be incredibly tough.
So she broke down crying when Montgomery died. Anybody who invested that kind of time and effort in another human being would cry to see them murdered before your eyes. That didn’t make her fragile or emotional or sensitive. If she was sensitive, that only proved her worth in his eyes.
He let out a heavy sigh. He didn’t want to tell her the truth—not all of it, at least. Now that he came face to face with her alone on a dark roof, he realized he had to. She deserved that, and he couldn’t live with lying to her.
“Awright. I’ll tell you.” His mind reeled. He couldn’t call her lass, no matter how much he wanted to. Everyone in this castle called her that, and he barely knew her.
She held her breath and waited for him to say his piece.
“It’s like this. ’Azel, ye ken—she cast that spell tae send ye ’ere. All ye five’re scattered far and wide. Carmen—she wound up in a forest outside o’—aw, what the devil. I’m in this thing. I might as weel tell ye all. Me brothers and me—we traveled across the country. We were lookin’…. we were lookin’ fer summat, and we found it. We found Carmen on the way, and she helped us in our quest. She sort o’…. weel, she fell in love wi’ Angus, and he fell in love wi’ her. I ne’er saw him like that afore. Anyway, they’re together, and she helped us. On our journey, me brother Rob, he fell in a fire pit. We all thought he was dead, but he was ainly transported far away. Elle found him and released him. Dinnae ask me fer the details, as I wasnae there and I cinnae understand half o’ what they say aboot it. Anyway, they came home taegether, and now they’re married and Rob knighted.”
She waited for him to continue. “And Hazel? How did she wind up there?”
He opened his mouth and closed it again. “’Azel?”
“You said she was married to your brother Fergus. You guys must have been through a lot to get that close to each other.”
He opened his mouth a second time. He didn’t know how to begin. “It’s like this, see? ’Azel cast that spell tae send ye ’ere.”
“You said that already.”
He flapped his hands. “I ken it. I ken it. Just let me get the words out, woman. That spell, it was no spell—at least, it wasnae ainly a spell. It was a curse, too. It cast a curse o’er the whole country. It cursed me family and cost me faither and fifty men their lives. I cinnae explain more than that, or ye’d think me mad. Perhaps ye think me mad awready. I cinnae tell, but ye starin’ at me like that sure doesnae help. It’s like this. That curse kept comin’ back again and again. The spell she cast caused the curse. It sent the curse back in time tae now, alaing wi’ the five o’ ye. Do ye understand? O’ course ye don’t. Aw, what’s the use? I told ye ye wouldnae understand. We fought the curse taegether, but ’Azel, she didnae understand how tae live wi’ us. She had some wee problem wi’ Angus…. it’s too laing a story fer that, but she couldnae accept us. She blamed herself fer the curse and all the killin’ and dyin’ and all. Jamie and…weel, Jamie and me and Ewan—that’s Angus’s friend—we wanted tae kill her. Wheesht! Angus wanted tae kill her, too, but we didnae, and she helped us in the end. Fergus got her tae help us, and it worked. She lifted the curse.”
She blinked at him in dumb confusion. All his words went right over her head. “So what does that have to do with me?”
“The curse brought ye ’ere,” he replied. “Do ye no see? The curse brought ye ’ere. We wanted tae lift the curse tae stop all the killin’, but at the same time, we didnae want tae lift the curse. Angus didnae want tae send Carmen back, and Rob didnae want tae send Elle back. We thought it was one or the other, but ’Azel found a way to lift the curse and repair the fabric. Dinnae ask me what that means, as I dinnae ha’e the first clue. She speaks in riddles—’Azel. Anyway, what I’m tryin’ tae say is, ye cinnae go back. ’Azel cinnae send ye back, and now the curse is lifted, ye’re stuck ’ere, alaing wi’ the others. They’re happy tae be stuck ’ere, but I see ye’re no. I dinnae ken if ye can be sent back. That’s what I’m sayin’.”
Sadie opened her mouth and closed it. She studied him in silent contemplation. “That’s quite a story.”
“Aye. Ye need no tell me. I was there fer most o’ it, and I dinnae like tae think o’ goin’ back tae those days.”
She nodded and turned away. She gazed out over the dark landscape to the sea roaring in the distance. “Thanks for telling me. I didn’t understand all of it, but I understood enough.”
He came up behind her. Her presence attracted him like no other. He had to get himself under control before this thing spiraled out of control. “I wish I could tell ye summat else. I wish I could make it right fer ye after all.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”
“I meant tae tell ye, but I didnae ken where tae find ye. I meant tae thank ye fer… fer savin’ me life down there. I…. I didnae ken ye had it in ye, but ye did’t.”
She spun around to face him. “What did you think? Did you think I would stand there and watch that thing kill you? Do you know how many people I’ve had to stand and watch those things suck the life out of? It would have killed you if I hadn’t acted. I had to save you.”
He took a step closer. Some irresistible force dragged him toward her. “Ye’re like the others. Ye’re soft and beautiful and gentle on the outside. Underneath, ye’re like solid granite. None can touch ye there.”
“Is that what you think?” she shot back. “You think I’m solid granite and no one can touch me? You’re a bigger fool than I thought you were.”
“Hang on,” he exclaimed. “That’s not what I meant.”
She spun away. She presented her back to him and crossed her arms over her chest. “You think I don’t feel something every time somebody dies? Do you think I’m so unfeeling I could watch all these people suffer without paying for it? Every time one of them dies, I die a little, too. You can’t blame me for protecting myself. My heart would break if I didn’t.”
He came closer behind her. Somehow, his hands came to rest on her shoulders. “I didnae mean ye had no heart nor couldnae feel naught fer the people around ye. That’s no what I meant. I meant ye’re strong. Ye’re stronger than I’d be if I had tae fight yer war. I dinnae ken I’d stand it. Ye’re twice as strong fer feelin’ through it all. That’s all I meant. Ye’re strong, and ye’ve a heart underneath it. Ye’ve no let the pain take that away o’ ye. I admire ye.”
She didn’t break away from his hands. Her tone changed, and her rigid shoulders softened under his ha
nds. She quivered all over. “Thank you for saying I’m beautiful. You’re too kind.”
“Hardly,” he shot back. “Ye’re the most beautiful thing in this castle. Ye’re by far the most beautiful o’ yer friends. That’s fer certain.”
She turned around to face him. For some odd reason, he didn’t take his hands off her shoulders. He never wanted to stop touching her for the rest of his life. “Really?”
He nodded. “I ha’e seen ’em all—all but the one that’s lost. Carmen, ’Azel, Elle—I ha’e seen ’em in gowns and jewels and crowns on their heads. I ha’e seen it all, I ha’e, and I an’t seen a one as beautiful as ye.”
She blushed, and her eyes slid down to his chest. Her body fizzed under his hands. Did she feel it, too? She stood so close and alive, so radiant and responsive. “I don’t think I’ll ever wear a gown or jewels or a crown. Things get pretty messy around here.”
“It’s the mess as makes ye beautiful.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I cinnae explain’t, but when I first saw ye downstairs, I thought I’d die from the beauty o’ it. The beauty shines from the inside o’ ye and lights up e’erything around’t. Dinnae tell me ye han’t noticed the way Lachlan and the others look at ye. Ye mun’ ha’e noticed it. Ye’re a light shining through the place. Ye allus ha’e been.”
Her eyes drifted back to his face while he struggled to get these words out. Now he found himself staring down into her radiant face. The same piercing light glowed through her eyes and skin. He gazed on her inner beauty in all its glory.
He got the words out. He told her how he felt about her. Now he couldn’t take it back, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops. He wanted the whole world to recognize the heavenly aura surrounding this woman.
He bent down and kissed her. She didn’t stop him. Her lips compressed under the pressure of his mouth, and he surrounded her in his arms. Holy Heaven, she felt so good! He had to hold her for the rest of his life. He had to grab her and run with her, back to Urlu, back to his brothers and her friends. He had to hide her from these McLeans, but how could he do that when they valued her so highly?
She responded to his embrace and his kiss. She sighed her perfumed breath into his nostrils, and her lips fell open to let his tongue inside. He kissed her slow and sweet for the briefest, most angelic moment before he folded her against him. He pillowed her head on his chest and closed his eyes.
Just then, the roof door opened. Lachlan’s voice drifted out into the night. “Are ye there, lassie? Are ye ready tae go?”
She tore free from Callum’s arms and bolted for the door long before Lachlan got near enough to see them together. She charged downstairs and disappeared, and she left Callum alone with the unimaginable sweetness of her kiss still lingering on his lips.
Chapter 10
Christie hoisted himself out of his chair. His dark hair hung in straggly ropes around his haggard face, but he fought his way to his feet. “I’ll no be carried tae Duart like a bairn. I’ll walk it.”
“You can’t do this, Christie,” Sadie told him. “You’ll kill yourself.”
“She’s right, lad,” Lachlan chimed in. “Ye’d better lie still and let us haul ye o’er. Ye’ve no strength left in ye.”
“I’d ainly slow ye down,” Christie replied. “Ye ken it yerself, Lachlan. I’ll go on me own feet if I’m tae go at all, and if they attack us on the road—which they’re likely tae do—I’ll fight me own fight. If Blair Montgomery died fightin’ on one leg, I’ll jolly weel die fightin’, too. Dinnae try tae talk me out o’ it, Lachlan. A mon can choose his own way, fer all that.”
Lachlan shook his head, but he couldn’t disguise the smile nudging his lips up at the corners. “Awright, lad. If ye really wish tae lose yer life this way, ye’ll get no argument from me. Gang ye down and report tae Carson. If he lets ye walk wi’ the men, I ha’e naught tae say aboot’t.”
Christie’s pale, sweaty countenance broke into a brilliant grin. He swayed and staggered, but he walked out of the room on his own legs. Sadie rounded on Lachlan. “How can you let him do this? He won’t survive it.”
“He’ll no survive it anyway,” Lachlan murmured. “We’ll all be dead laing afore we reach Duart, but I dare no say so afore the others. Let him die as a mon. It’s all he’s got left.”
Sadie spun away. She shook her head, but what was the use in arguing with him? All that talk about dying as a man meant nothing to her. A man would be just as dead dying as a man than any other way.
She grabbed up a bundle of clothes and bandages. She slung it over her shoulder to be ready to move out. She couldn’t stop stewing about Lachlan and Christie, though. Why did Lachlan have to throw her efforts in the dirt by letting Christie waste his life? Sadie worked a lot harder to save Christie’s life than Lachlan ever did, so maybe he didn’t really care if his little brother died on the road.
She stomped downstairs and out of the castle. The column formed up outside. Men, women, and children lounged in a broken mass leading away across the landscape. Sadie made her way to the far rear of the column. Women, children, and the last remaining wounded occupied the center file. The fighting men and anyone able-bodied enough to carry a weapon marched on either side to create two additional files.
Sadie took a position as far away from Lachlan and Christie as she could find. She didn’t want to talk to Lachlan, and she didn’t want to see Christie. If he fell or passed out, or if he bled to death in his bandages from breaking open his wounds again, she didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to bear the responsibility for taking care of him anymore if this was how he acted.
She took her place and faced front. That was when she saw Callum turn around to watch her. The instant their eyes met, he looked away. He turned his back to her and faced front like everybody else.
That brief glance shot sparks through her. He kissed her on the roof. He wouldn’t do that if he knew Lachlan wanted her. Once Callum found out, he would keep away from her until he left McLean land for his own territory.
She shoved Callum out of her mind. She couldn’t get involved with him, the same way she couldn’t get involved with Lachlan. She couldn’t get involved with anybody here. She didn’t belong here, no matter what Callum said about the curse and Hazel and whatever.
She still wouldn’t believe she couldn’t get out of here. Her life, her career, her friends and family all waited for her back in America. She would find a way to get back there. She came here, one way or the other. There must be some way to get back. She had to keep believing that, or she would go insane.
Lachlan gave a shout, and the column started forward. The sun rose cold and bleak over the land. It illuminated the rocky hills and coastlines around the Tower House. Sadie knew every contour of this country by now, but it always sent a shiver through her.
Maybe she persisted in hoping to go home because of her circumstances in this castle. Maybe if she didn’t get caught in this ghastly war, she might actually start to like Lachlan and want to stay here.
For that matter, maybe she would start to like Callum, too. The same argument applied to him. If she had to choose, which man would she want to stay with?
How could she answer that when she didn’t know Callum from a hole in the ground? She knew Lachlan. She saw the way he treated his people and his brothers and the rest of his Clan. He would make a strong leader and a good husband.
God, how could she think about him in those terms? How could she actually consider marrying one of these men? She never wanted to get married before. She always put her career first. She wouldn’t stay. She wouldn’t lower her guard with any of these men. She would leave them behind and never see them again.
Cloud lowered over the party’s heads, and snow flurried in the air. Sadie huddled under her pack and fixed her eyes on the ground passing under her feet. The men guarding the column kept looking over their shoulders toward the coast for any sign of the vampires, but Sadie didn’t look back.
The
column passed out of sight of Moy Castle. Mist blew in front of it, and it dwindled to a distant memory. Sadie never saw the Tower House again, and she didn’t want to. The place harbored nothing but bad memories for her now. She never wanted to remember anything that happened there.
She couldn’t hope for better at Duart Castle, either. Lachlan would take his place as Chief of his Clan, Laird of the Isles, and Laird of Duart once he got there. He would command everyone and everything around him, including her. Her resistance would break down, and she would become his.
The rest of his Clan would find out he chose her as his wife, and no one would stand up to him. Could she really live with that? What choice did she have? She had nowhere to go and no one on whom she could rely.
At that moment, Callum turned around again. His eyes swept the hills behind her and came to rest on her face. The sadness she saw in her visions tinged his expression. He knew. He knew all about Lachlan. He watched her the same way he watched her when she rested in Lachlan’s arms. He saw Lachlan bite her neck and whisper in her ear.
He turned away, but he already imprinted himself on her mind. He, of all people, offered her a way out. He could take her with him, back to his own country where her friends waited for her. They would find a way to send her back if such a way existed.
Her heart thrilled at the idea. In her mind’s eye, a shimmering white castle rose out of a beautiful green landscape. The sun shone on its walls, and colored flags fluttered over it. Her friends smiled up into the wide sky. They never huddled in terror from vampires or slaved over the wounded until they dropped from exhaustion.
At the same instant, Lachlan turned around behind Callum’s shoulder. She saw the two men side by side. She cared for both, but her heart could belong to only one. The escape Callum offered could never be enough to convince her.
If she loved Lachlan the way he loved her, she would join his crusade with all her heart. She would face any danger for his sake, but she didn’t feel that way about him. She wanted to get as far away from him and his problems as she could.
Wolf Castle (Phoenix Throne Book 4): A Scottish Highlander Time Travel Romance Page 7