"I'm sorry I was rude. We are just extremely worried, and I would greatly appreciate you doing this for us."
He slowly stood from his chair and leaned over the desk to Shelby. "I'm glad to see someone has manners."
I wanted to smack the so-called manner expert, but clearly it would do me no good.
"Thank you. Arianna makes me use them."
Ha! Take that, you big jerk face.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed when she looked up to me and smiled. Damn, my love for that little girl ran deep.
"Could you please go find Canyon for us?"
He looked at me and then back at her.
"For you, I will." Then he walked away down the hall. I looked around and decided it was best to just sit in the lobby where there was at least a TV distract us. Minutes went by before the man reappeared, walking in to the room.
"I told him," was all he said before he went back to sit behind his desk.
"Talk about manners; that man has none."
I smiled as I looked at Shelby. She was always as blunt about her feelings as they come.
"You got that right."
Two hours went by, and we never saw a soul. Shelby fell asleep long before that time mark, but I couldn't if I tried. With each minute that passed, the more my hope was slipping away. Clearly Canyon couldn't leave her side, but forcing Shelby to endure all of this seemed wrong. I decided what was best was to ask Mr. Enthusiastic to give Canyon his phone and for me to take Shelby home.
I slowly lifted Shelby off my lap and grabbed my purse to dig out his phone. Just as I stood, the doors swung open and a very angry Brooke came into view. Canyon followed her with the opposite expression. I knew clearly that the baby was okay, but whatever happened back there didn't go well.
As soon as he saw me his mood changed to worry as he hurried his pace to reach me.
"I'm so sorry. I forgot all about you being here!"
I can't say that didn't sting, but I let it go knowing he was more concerned for the baby.
He wrapped me in his arms and over his shoulder stood Brooke tapping her foot impatiently before she stormed outside.
"It's okay. I just wanted to be here for you."
He glanced down at a sleeping Shelby.
"You didn't have to do this. I forgot all about you having to bring her. Poor baby."
He let me go and bent over to pick Shelby up and carry her out. She never even stirred in her sleep, again making my point from earlier clear. I shouldn't have brought her.
He began walking out the hospital doors when I stopped him.
"What happened?"
He looked frustrated when he said, "UTI. Apparently they can be common so every month when you see the OBGYN they check for it. We both know she isn't being seen like she's supposed to so it got bad, bringing on the cramping in her stomach."
"So the baby’s okay?"
"Only time will tell. He looks good for now but what does that even mean? We're still facing the inevitable."
"I'm sorry. I know how hard this is for you having no control."
"Let's just get back home. I'm ready for this day to be over."
He walked to my truck and put Shelby in the back seat. As soon as he buckled her in she fell over, still sound asleep. He closed the door and then turned to me.
"Brooke is leaving in the morning to go back to school. She refuses to stay any longer 'under my watch', as she says. Funny how I'm the one who was there for her when she thought something was wrong, but now I micro-manage her. I'm so done with all of this and yet I can't be."
I hated her for being so selfish. I understood her in a way, but to be such a bitch to the man willing to do anything for her was completely uncalled for.
"One day at a time is all you can do, and like you said, this one needs to be over."
He leaned forward and kissed me.
"I'll see you back at the house. Don't worry about carrying her in. Just leave the truck running, and I will take care of it when I get back."
"I can."
"You won't. Let me. You've done enough by just being here for me."
He patted my butt and walked to his truck. I climbed into my own and started the ignition feeling the need to run a mile just to rid myself of the fury boiling inside of me. Brooke Stanton was a lost cause, but as much as we all knew it, she was still in control.
Chapter 26
I waited in the truck with Shelby for twenty-five minutes before Canyon's headlights turned into the driveway. I knew it wouldn't be easy taking her home, but I wished I was a fly on the wall to hear what was said.
Getting out and walking over to his truck, I was there when he opened the door. The dome light allowed me to see the look on his face, but I stepped back knowing he looked like he wanted to punch something.
"Wow. That good, huh?"
"You don't even want to get me started. She is just impossible! There isn't one thing about her that I remember anymore. It's like she's morphed into a raging bitch, and I'm the one left feeling like an asshole for saying that about the mother of my child." He shook his head in disbelief before running his fingers through his hair. "I just can't reason with her at all. She acts like I have no say in anything. He got out and slammed his door shut "This has got to get better. I can't keep doing this."
I was grateful he wasn't looking for any kind of response as he stormed to my truck to get Shelby.
"Hey, just leave her. I will take care of it. You just go to sleep and..."
"No! I can do something for Christ’s sake!"
I stepped back in shock. He had never raised his voice to me like that, and I recoiled.
"Shit! I'm sorry, darlin’'." He walked toward me, pleading, "Don't ever be scared of me. I would never hurt you. That was wrong, and I would take it back if I could."
Knowing the level of stress he was under, I didn't blame him one bit.
"It's okay. I was just trying to help. If you want to carry her, by all means, do it. She's getting heavier and heavier."
He picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around his back.
"She can be jealous all she wants. I'm not giving you up."
He brought his lips to meet mine, but I pulled back.
"She said something about us?"
"It's nothing. Don't you worry about Brooke. That's my problem not yours."
"What did she say?"
"Really, it's nothing."
He tried kissing me again, but I wanted answers.
"Are you gonna keep denying me or what? Just kiss me, damn it."
He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me the rest of the way in. Once I felt his wet lips, my struggle for answers no longer existed. He tugged on my bottom lip before he pulled back to look at me.
"That was exactly what I needed."
"Then I'm glad I could oblige."
He smiled and then set me down.
"Why don't you go on in? I'll be right behind you once I get little bit."
"I'll wait and get the door for you."
Once Shelby was back in bed where she belonged, Canyon kissed her forehead and then softly closed the door behind him. I stood in the hall watching the whole thing and was so grateful we had him. Brooke had no idea what she was turning away from. I knew in my heart he was trying, and something about all of it didn't sit well with me. Whatever she was doing this for wasn't worth what she was losing in the process.
"You ready for bed?"
What an easy question to answer. I was exhausted.
"Yeah. You?"
"Naw, I'm going to go sit outside for a little bit. Clear my head."
"Would you like some company?"
He leaned over and kissed my forehead the same way he had with Shelby.
"That's okay. Go get some sleep. I'll be up in a few minutes."
He walked down the hall and then disappeared around the corner followed by the sound of the steps creaking as he took them.
Part of me wanted to ignore him and go anyway, but I knew if
he needed space I should respect that.
After I brushed my teeth and climbed into bed the faint sound of him singing could be heard from the back porch. Not wanting to interrupt, I walked to the window and cracked it slightly before I crawled back in bed. The last thing I remember was hearing him say was, “It won't be like this for long.” I wasn't familiar with the song so I got up and typed it into Google on my phone. Darius Rucker's name popped up and I went to the link with lyrics. I sat back down on the edge of the bed and once I began following his singing with the words in front of me; the need for sleep left me. He would never get to experience any of the things he was singing about. He was mourning a son he would never meet, alone. Gone were the reasons to give him space. I was off the bed and walking out on to the porch a minute later, finding no longer a singing man but an empty room. All the lights were on at the barn as I headed down the steps and my bare feet met with the dew-covered grass. It was getting cold, and I hadn't thought to grab a jacket. Folding my arms across my chest, I made my way into the warmth of the barn. The small animals were nested in the hay, fast asleep as I passed by them in search of Canyon. The only thing I found out of order was a stall door open. Going to the tack room I noticed a saddle missing and knew he had taken Cain out. Midnight rides were something we had spoken about but never did. I glanced back at Magnus and thought about going after him but remembered his request to be alone, and, truthfully, in the dark I had no chance of finding him. Sadly, I accepted his needs over my own and made my way back to the house.
Climbing back in bed I laid there, trying to fight sleep so I could be awake when he came in, but that didn't get to happen.
Several hours later, Shelby was adamant to wake me by pushing me practically off the bed.
"Arianna, wake up. I need to go to school."
I sat up immediately, remembering my job to care for her trumped sleep no matter how bad I needed more of it.
"Okay, I'm awake. What time is it?"
Looking around for Canyon and remembering I never felt the weight of the bed shift all night had me asking, "Have you seen Canyon?"
"No, but, Arianna, I'm late! It's eight fifteen already!"
I jumped out of bed and slipped flip-flops on quickly.
"Have you eaten anything?"
"Yes, a bowl of oatmeal. All my stuff is in the truck. Let's go."
She stomped out of the room with me following right on her heels. When we were backing out of the driveway I asked, "Why the bad mood? It's going to be okay. I will just explain that..."
"Did the baby die last night?"
I hit the brakes so hard that we both flew forward. Turning in my seat I looked into her tear-filled eyes.
"No, honey, the baby is just fine. Brooke had an infection that she needed antibiotics for. That was it."
"But he's going to isn't he?"
Those type of questions shouldn't come from any child. But life isn't fair and sometimes you have to learn hard things at a young age. It was just unfortunate she had already learned more than most people in a lifetime by the age of nine. Either way, I didn't want her to focus on a baby never taking his first breath. Nothing about that thought belonged with her.
"We all die sometime in our life; some just don't get as long as others."
She sat back and folded her arms, not liking my answer. Luckily, her school wasn't far and we were pulling in seconds later. She got out of the truck and slammed the door closed before I could even tell her to have a good day. It was clear she was suffering from lack of sleep also.
Heading back to the house I wondered if I would see Canyon before I left for school. I got my answer thirty minutes later as I drove off. His truck was there, but there was no sign of him. I began to worry that maybe there was an accident and he was lying in a field somewhere. Calling his phone was pointless—he didn't answer. After three messages he would know how worried I was when he checked. But with the uncertainty lingering, I turned my truck around and headed home. I was only allowed two missed classes before I would fail the semester, but how could I prioritize that over his wellbeing? I was just about to get on the interstate when my phone began to ring. It was either Shelby's school or Canyon and reading his name before answering sent waves of different emotions through me.
"Are you serious? Where have you been? Do you have any idea how scared I was? I..."
"I fell asleep on the bluff. It was stupid to go out that far at night, but I needed to get away, if that makes sense. Sorry that I worried you. I'm not used to having to think about that."
That was obvious. And definitely not enough to calm me down now that I knew he was okay.
"Your passes are about up, mister. I'm tired of being worried and scared for you. If you can't share that with me then you have to let me know you're going to check out before you do it, understand?"
I found a ramp to exit so I could head back to school, all the while waiting for some kind of response. All I heard was him breathing.
"Are you going to say something?"
"It's the first time you have ever talked to me like that so yeah, I got a little quiet. I know that I deserved it and sorry didn't seem to be enough. In fact, I feel like that's all I have been saying to you lately." He took a deep breath and then let it out. "You mean the world to me, darlin’, and you know how much I need you, but to be honest, I don't feel like much of a man crying on your shoulder all the time. I needed to handle this myself. You're right, I should have let you know what I was doing to keep you from worrying. I won't do it again."
"You will never be less of a man for needing me, Canyon. If anything it makes me feel like more of a woman. I truly love when you let me see the weaker side of you because for me, that makes you even more of a man. I know control is what you want most and you don't have any with this, but please know that you are wanted with us. Shelby and I need you—"
"Let's take a trip."
"What?"
"Seriously, you, me, Shelby, let's go somewhere and leave all of this behind."
"Where would you like to go?"
I hadn't seen this coming from a mile away.
"I will set it all up. Just be ready to leave on Friday."
Something about the way he said it made me feel like he wasn't going to be there when I got back.
"Will I not see you when I get home?"
"Yeah, I will be here. I've got some stuff to do, so it might be dark by the time I get home."
I wasn't sure if it was my place to ask what stuff so instead I just accepted it.
"Well, okay. I guess I’ll just see you tonight."
I was about to hang up when I heard him say my name.
"Yeah?"
"I love you, baby."
"I love you too."
Chapter 27
After my first class I had a strange craving for hot chocolate but it didn't really surprise me with how cold it was getting. I knew with only twenty minutes before my next class that I needed to hurry if I was going to make it through the line at the coffee house.
When I walked in, the place was packed. I skimmed the room for Tonya and was happy to come up empty. Two steps forward in line and my stomach dropped at the sound of her voice. No hot chocolate was worth having to see her, so with each step I took backward I begged Brooke to not turn around. Hands landed on my sides causing me to turn abruptly and come face to face with a perfect stranger.
"Sorry to freak you out but you were about to run me over." He smiled.
Not feeling the need to go into detail, I chose to simply tell the guy, "Sorry" and then ran out of the building.
Heading toward the Commons I thought, why does the entire campus need to get coffee at the same time? Can't I for once go in there and not run into anyone I know? It wasn't as if I knew the majority—there were literally only two people.
I found a bench, sat down, pulled out my phone to check the time, and saw and email address with a name I never expected in my notifications. My mother's hospital. To say I was about done
with surprises would be an understatement.
After opening it, I read that she had been working countless hours to prove she was ready to leave but yet they required my consent for her to do so, I was overwhelmed. Holding the control over her wellbeing was proving to be a hardship. A thrill came over me as I pictured bringing her home and surprising Shelby, but how was I supposed to be sure she was equipped to handle life outside of those walls? I was in no place to make that call. Remembering her doctor had given me a business card with his personal cell number when I left gave me some sense of peace. Maybe talking to him could give me some answers. Searching my wallet, I pulled it from the sleeve and dialed the number.
My knees started to bounce as the phone began to ring. By the time he answered my hand was shaking.
"Dr. Freshen?"
"Yes, how can I help you?"
"My name is Arianna Dubray, and my mother…"
"Oh, Camille's daughter."
"Yes that's correct. I wanted to ask you a few questions, if you have a few minutes free?"
"Absolutely, I'm going to throw out a guess. Did you receive the email I had sent out?"
"I did, sir, and as much as I would truly like to close this door and move forward, I'm not in a place to be making this decision. The woman I met there is someone I have never known. My baby sister deserves a mother that has no chance of returning to the only thing she knows as of now. That walking zombie was just as hurtful as the man she married because of her silence. I need to know that you trust her mental health before I give—"
"Arianna?"
"Yes."
"I had that email sent to you for a reason. She's ready. The woman you speak of is no longer in existence. There is no relapsing when it comes to things like this. Now, is there a chance that her meds need to be altered slightly over time, yes. But I have been in touch with several doctors in that area who are well-equipped to take her on. She has agreed to continue therapy there, but you lit a fire in her I hadn't seen before. She feels a need to be everything to Shelby that she wasn't for you."
"So you really think she's ready?"
He laughed. My whole body was shaking and he laughed.
"Yes, Miss Dubray, your mother wants to come home if you are ready. The question that needs to be addressed here is, are you ready for this?"
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