“Complex?” I offered.
“Cruel.” The will his mom left was all of those things. To get their inheritance, the twins had to finish college and live at home until they were done. If the college they chose was too far for a commute, like Yale, they had to return home for all breaks. They couldn’t even go on vacations longer than two weeks unless their stepfather was with them.
“Please tell me you’re not complaining. Sure, it must be hard to have everything paid for.” Like cars, tuition, and each had a credit card with, count it, a ten thousand dollar limit. Yes, all of those things were stipulations of her final document. And in no way did I pity him.
“You’re forgetting something, Vivian.”
I was. “Don’t call me that.”
“Christopher.” The man who wouldn’t get his share of the money unless he maintained a home for the twins until they graduated from college. Sucked for him.
“Okay, he’s a douche bag,” I conceded. Christopher was an asshole who managed to skirt physical abuse, but still made their lives a living hell.
“Douche bag? That’s all? Dude, he comes home tomorrow.” Ryan seemed a little nauseous at the prospect. He even went slightly pale.
“We’re going camping. You won’t even have to see him.”
“Oh, fuck.” He definitely went pale.
“What?”
“What if he comes home early? With Reese and Kerry upstairs. I can’t leave them alone with him.” Ryan was right. Christopher maintained a no overnight friends rule. That was why I slept in the guest room and not on Ryan’s floor like when we were little.
“That’s true.”
“Remember last time?” When Christopher literally threw a half-naked, very pretty girl in the front yard. A girl he happened to find in Ryan’s bed.
“Yes, I remember.” I remembered Ryan calling me because Christopher wouldn’t let him give the girl her clothes or a ride. I remembered going to pick up the girl, giving her something to wear, and driving her home. “So call the front gate and ask the security guard to call you if Christopher comes home early.”
“Do you think that would work?”
“Why not? We’ll drive up before the movie and you can bribe the guy or something.”
“Okay, yeah.” We both looked at the door when my dad yelled that dinner was ready. As we meandered downstairs, Ryan said, “I always feel like James Bond when I bribe someone.” I wasn’t sure why he was proud of that. Fuckin’ rich kid. Still, I couldn’t help but love him.
Chapter Five
Packing was hell. There was yelling and cussing and sometimes a good fistfight. Austin and I had thought that breaking into the beer at six thirty a.m. was a good idea. It wasn’t.
“All you had to do was get a truck. What the fuck is this supposed to be?” I threw a hand up at the truck parked on the street that was big enough to carry a small house. “I can’t fit shit in there.” Maybe I was being a little overdramatic. Only a little.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we were going to war. Otherwise, I would have brought the Hummer,” he screamed back. “Anyway, I was a little worried your fuckin’ ego wouldn’t fit in the cab.” He cocked his head to one side and considered. “You’re right; the Hummer would be a better idea.” He snatched the truck key out of my hand.
“Shut the fuck up.” I grabbed the keys back. “We don’t have time for that.”
“Why don’t both of you shut the fuck up?” Carson yelled at us. He and Derek were up by the house making sure the ice chests were all properly sorted.
“Fuck off,” Austin and I screamed back at him.
“You guys are annoying the shit out of us,” Derek returned in Carson’s defense.
“Stop crying, you little bitch,” Austin said. Carson’s neighbors were probably loving our little display.
Derek and Carson looked at each other. Carson shook his head. Derek nodded his. Then they both ran straight at us. Austin and I started running, but we didn’t get far. We ended up with our faces pressed to the window of the truck, which our heads barely even reached. Derek trapped my arms behind my back and pulled up until I was on my tiptoes and in serious pain. Carson held Austin in the same position.
“Help,” Austin cried out in a rather high-pitched voice. “Rape, molest, assault.”
“Shut up and take it.” Carson pushed him harder against the truck. I started laughing at Austin.
“You think that’s funny?” Derek rewarded me by raising my arms even higher until I whimpered.
“Now say you love each other,” Carson demanded.
“No.” I refused to give in.
“I give up.” The pain on Austin’s face was replaced with a sneer. “I love Vivian.”
“Hate you,” I spat at him.
A car door slammed, followed quickly by another. Two seconds later, Ryan was pulling off my captor and Reese was doing the same to Austin’s.
“What is wrong with you guys?” Ryan tossed Derek back against the truck. His head narrowly missed the side mirror. Carson landed on my other side.
“It’s seven thirty in the morning,” Reese stated the obvious. “Have all of you been drinking?” The four of us looked at one another sheepishly.
“Can you even drive? We’re leaving in less than an hour,” Ryan said. Damn, we didn’t think of that.
A chorus of, “Sorry,” sounded down the line.
“Great impression, by the way.” Reese turned and held out her hand to a chick standing behind her. “This is Kerry.” Kerry was pierced and tatted everywhere. She had a dark faux hawk like mine, but mine was better. I guess she was kind of hot, if you’re into pretty eyes and toned arms.
“Hi, Kerry,” we responded like school kids.
“The twink is Austin.” He looked outraged. “Blond hair and blue eyes is Carson. Blond hair and green eyes is Cooper. I know they look the same, but the one with green eyes is a girl.”
“Thanks for clarifying, buttercup. That’s a toughie,” I said like I was thankful when I just wanted to knock her out.
Reese smirked in response. “And finally, the tall, dark, and handsome, self-appointed God’s gift to women is Derek.”
“Lovely to meet you, Kerry.” I shook her hand. “Sorry to make such a poor impression.”
“It’s all right. You guys lived up to every one of Reese’s descriptions.” She smiled in a way that made it sound funny instead of rude.
“Fabulous.” Austin pushed off the truck and shook her hand as well. “Let’s get this shit packed up now. Hey, Kerry, do you want a beer?”
“Or a Bloody Mary?” Derek asked. “It’s like breakfast. But with vodka.”
“You know? A beer sounds great.” Reese shot Kerry a look. “I’m still on East Coast time.” She shrugged like that explained it.
“Follow me,” I told her. We walked toward the house past a Reese who looked like she might kill.
*
“Seriously, guys.” Austin stood surveying the pile of gear in the driveway with Derek and me. “Do we need all of this?”
“We could leave your sleeping bag,” Derek offered.
“Can I share with you?” Austin asked innocently.
“Sorry. I’m already sharing with Carson. Too bad.” Derek pursed his lips like it was a real tough call. “You know how we love to spoon.”
“You know straight guys aren’t supposed to say things like that, right?” I said.
“I’m enlightened,” Derek said.
Austin and I rolled our eyes. “We went over The List extensively,” I told Austin.
“This really is the bare minimum,” Derek assured him.
“Okay.” Austin shrugged, resigned to the task. “You and Ryan and Carson load up the coolers and the keg in the 4Runner. I’ll get the lesbians to load the truck.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked him.
“Look pretty and direct.” He walked back toward the house. “Hey, lesbians,” he called to Reese and Kerry. He was so annoying.
/> We started loading. Kerry and I stood in the bed with Reese and Austin handing shit up to us. I had to help Aus lift some of the heavier items, but we made good time.
“What the hell is this?” Austin asked when we got to the bedding. A rolled up sleeping pad was tossed over his shoulder. Next to him, Reese held a pile of blankets.
“Bedding,” I told him. “Kerry, you want another beer?”
“Yeah, it’s only eight. We should probably drink throughout the day,” she said. I was starting to like this chick.
“That’s the plan.”
“I’ll go grab ’em,” Kerry said. “Austin, you want one?” He shook his head. “Baby, do you?” Reese just glared at her some more. “I think I’m in trouble,” she whispered to me before jumping down.
“Cooper.” Austin was still standing there waiting.
“What?”
“What happened to air mattresses? And sleeping bags?”
“We’re still using them,” I said. They looked skeptical.
“Then what’s the deal with this?” He hefted the bulky sleeping pad onto the truck bed.
I considered answering, but decided against it. “You know what? None of your damn business. There’s room up here. It’s going with us.”
“Fine, whatever.” Austin strutted off.
“Really.” Reese set the blankets next to the sleeping pad. “What’s with this stuff?”
“You ever share an air mattress with someone else?” I sat on the tailgate.
“Yeah.”
“Was it comfy?” I asked even though I knew the answer.
“Not really.”
Kerry walked up and handed me a beer. “Can you guys handle this? I’m going to help Austin with the rope.” She pointed to where Austin was standing surrounded by a tangle of rope. He was staring at it like it was algebra.
“That’s probably a good idea,” I said. “Thanks for the beer.”
“No problem.” Kerry went to help Austin.
“Coop?”
“Yeah?” I said like I forgot what we were talking about. Reese set a hand on the blankets. “Oh, yeah. You, uh, ever had sex on an air mattress?”
“Can’t say I have.” Reese raised an eyebrow.
“It’s really, really not fun.” Her mouth opened a little in surprise. “You can’t get any rhythm, you know?” I rocked my hips back and forth a little and grinned. “Anyway, guess you’ll never know.” I set my hand next to hers on the blankets. Not touching, but almost. Then I jumped down to join Austin and Kerry.
“Wait,” Reese called.
“What?” I turned back to look into those shadowed eyes.
“Thanks. That’s sweet, in sort of a Cooper way.”
I was pretty sure she meant that as a good thing. I mustered all of my strength for a sort of apology. “I was an asshole before. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I kind of did. I called you a whore.”
“You did.” I contemplated. “But I guess I am. If you think about it.”
“No, Coop. You’re a playa.” For once, she wasn’t mocking me. She was still lying, but in a nice way.
*
Reese drove Ryan’s SUV. Ryan and I took the truck. He drove. They were the only people who hadn’t been drinking all morning. After the two-hour drive up winding mountain roads, I was pretty sober. We rolled down the windows as soon as the heat tapered off. At home, it was supposed to be pushing one hundred, but up in the mountains, we were loving the high seventies. I thought they would beat us up there since we were towing four Jet Skis and they only had one, but we only got there fifteen minutes behind them. With seven people, it didn’t take long to unload everything. Set up was another story.
“So you guys ready?” I asked everyone. We were all relaxing in chairs around the empty fire pit.
“Ready for what?” Kerry asked. We all smiled back at her.
“The Race,” Ryan said.
“You guys are kind of into competition aren’t you?” she asked.
“What gave you that idea?” I smirked.
“The brawl I witnessed,” Kerry stated unnecessarily. “And ‘The Race’ sounds a little competitive as well.”
“They want to race putting up tents,” Reese told her. “You guys can count me out. I’ll be the ref.”
“What about the third tent?” Carson asked. “We’ll need to change the rules.”
I looked at Aus for his approval. He smiled and nodded. “Me and Aus will do both the small ones.”
“But we get Kerry,” he added. “Three on three.”
Ryan, Carson, and Derek had a very intense conversation with their eyes. Their tent was more complicated to put up. We were getting one more player than usual, but also an extra tent. The conversation must have gone well.
“Done,” said Ryan. “Stakes in the ground. Tops on. Losers blow up air mattresses.”
“You guys are all losers,” Reese informed us. “I’ll go place the tents.”
“Your girlfriend’s a bitch,” I said to Kerry.
“Cooper, I kind of like you.” Was that supposed to be nice? “Don’t make me hurt you.”
We watched in silence as Reese looked around our massive campsite and chose three promising places. In each one, she placed a bag with a tent. Then she sashayed back to the truck, found the two mallets, and handed one to me and one to Ryan.
Calmly, she looked at her phone and waited. “Ready?” We nodded even though she wasn’t looking. “Go.”
We jumped up and ran. Chairs hit the ground. Derek pushed Austin. I pushed Ryan. And then we were in the clear. I shoved the mallet into my belt at the small of my back.
“Kerry, build the poles.” Austin yanked the tent out of the bag. I gripped the nylon so he could pull. A bag of stakes fell out followed by a bundle of poles, and we tossed them to Kerry. Austin unrolled the tent in my direction and we unfolded it.
“Where’s the door?” I asked him. “Where’s the fucking door?”
“Over there.” Kerry pointed. Austin and I each grabbed two corners and half walked, half ran in a circle until she shouted, “Stop.”
“Here’s the first pole.” She nudged a fully assembled pole on the ground with her toe. The second was already half done in her hands.
As we fed the first pole through Aus slowly chanted, “Careful, careful, fucking careful, dude.” Kerry assembled the last pole for the rain cover. Then she spread the nylon cover out for easy access.
“Is it in?” she asked.
“Almost,” Austin told her.
“Done,” I shouted a second later. “Hold the center so we can put the poles up.”
Kerry did as she was told, carefully stepping in the open door of the flat tent and lifting with us.
“Are you in, Aus?”
“Yeah.”
I bent the pole in my hands until I could slide the pin into it. “Done.”
“Three minutes,” Reese called out. Behind us, the guys were feeding their first pole through. They had three times as many poles to work with. We got our second pole in. All three of us started tying the tent to the pole. Three corners done.
“I got the last one and the stakes. You guys get the cover.” I finished tying the final corner and Kerry threw me the bag of stakes.
“Go, go, go,” Austin helpfully suggested.
I pounded the last stake in as they secured the cover. We only had the stakes for the cover left.
“You get those, Cooper. We’ll start the next one,” Kerry shouted back as she and Austin sprinted to the next tent.
I glanced over at the guys. They had the poles all in and were struggling to stand the tent up. Carson, the tallest, was standing in the flaccid tent holding the ceiling above his head. Ryan and Derek were spinning in circles trying to fit pins into the poles.
“Cooper,” Austin screamed. “Stop staring, build poles.”
“Five minutes,” Reese shouted.
I ran to the pile of poles, tore off the rubber bands, stuffed them in my pockets
, and started fitting the first pole together.
“First one,” I yelled to Kerry and Austin. They grabbed it and started feeding it through. When I finished the third pole, I opened the rain cover like Kerry had done.
“Hold the middle, Coop,” Austin instructed me. They pushed both poles in the air and we started tying again.
When I began pounding in the stakes Reese called out, “Seven minutes.” We were getting close. The guys were putting on their rain cover. Austin ran back to the first tent and shoved all the nylon bags and such into the tent bag. I fished around in my pocket and pushed the rubber bands into Kerry’s waiting hand. I hit the remaining stake into the soft ground.
Austin ran back to the fire pit. I grabbed Kerry’s arm and dragged her with me.
“Done,” Austin shrieked the second we joined him. Triumphantly, Austin handed Reese our tent bags.
Reese took the bags calmly and said, “I’ll check.”
Behind us, the guys finished with their stakes and clean up. They sprinted to the fire pit and started wishing one of our tents would fall over.
Reese circled our first tent. She shook it, nothing happened. Lightly, she tugged on each pole. They stayed in the ground. The guys looked pissed. After the same inspection of the second tent, we waited for the verdict.
“Ryan, Carson, Derek.” Reese somberly touched each of them on the shoulder. “Have fun with the air mattresses.”
For hours, we had to hear about how unfair the competition was.
*
The first day was uneventful. We spent most of it setting up camp and walking around aimlessly. In the afternoon, Ryan managed to convince Reese to join in an impromptu game of football down by the lake. We put her and Derek on the same team because they pretty much amounted to one player. Derek was a disgrace. And Reese didn’t give a fuck.
The next morning, I woke up first, as usual. I started the fire and the first pot of coffee. Sleeping while camping isn’t fun. It’s too cold and uncomfortable so I always went to bed last and woke up first.
Dirty Sex Page 5