by Ben Bequer
“Hurry, damn you!” Dr. Zundergrub shouted into his communication headset, not sharing Cool’s enthusiasm.
I picked up my flashlight, instantly feeling better. The costume machine had made a cool-looking suit, but it was impractical and ridiculous.
“I’m working on it,” I replied to the doctor, but I quickly ran out of space. I reached a closed off back wall that looked sturdy and built against the granite ground. A pair of empty rooms flanked it to either side. I checked both rooms and got zero reading from the sensor device. The rooms were bare and empty, with cracked tiles on the floors and walls, and the capped plumbing that denoted them as abandoned bathrooms.
The needle on the scanning device hadn’t even budged.
“Dead end,” I said. “This looks like it was some old bathrooms. The scanner doesn’t show anything down here.”
“Damn it!” Zundergrub cursed.
“I find nothing either,” Mr. Haha said.
“Great,” said Cool hand. “Total waste of time. I got like ten Guido assholes outside, waiting for some of the big boys so they can jump us. One tried to get into the Rocket Flyer, but the security devices popped him good. Think he’s dead, but anyways, it’s time to get the outta here.”
“Agreed,” I chimed in and started back. “I’m headed up now.” I went back the way I came, still waving the ridiculous scanner everywhere, but found nothing.
“I’ve completed my scan,” Haha said. “I’m headed downstairs.”
“Nothing, Haha?”
“I’m afraid not, Mr. Cool.”
I reached the broken down wall and went back through and was instantly relieved with the clean, air-conditioned air. But I didn’t have too much time to waste, so I ran back to the old generator.
Something about that old DC generator made me curious though.
“Gonna check something out real quick.” I said, running my hand across the polished copper on the surface and saw a small inset copper plate decal, something added afterwards. The decal was in the design of a pigeon.
“Mr. Haha,” I started over the comms, “wasn’t there something about a pigeon that Tesla had? A pet or something?”
“Yes, actually,” Haha said. “Mr. Tesla reported seeing a pigeon in the last days of his life. He said it was engulfed in a halo of light and he felt it a holy experience.”
Along the same metal plate where the decal lay, there were a few strange scratches. They had been buffed out but not perfectly, and I also noticed the bolts that held down this plate were scuffed, as if carelessly screwed off in the past. It was like if someone had tried taking off the screws that were bolted into the plate with the wrong tool. Again, someone had come after and buffed out the scuff marks, but I could still notice them.
“Did you find something?” Haha asked.
I dug my fingers into the plate and ripped it off. Inside were the components of the generator, and against the device was a handmade copper box that stood out from the whole contraption. But as an engineer, I saw it as obtrusive and useless. That had to be it. I reached in and ripped the box off the generator and pulled it out. The copper box was solid and heavy, maybe ten inches wide and deep, and about two feet long. I took off the top cover and looked inside.
“I found it,” I said with a smile.
“Good, now get your ass up here quick,” Cool Hand said. His voice sounded different now, worried and serious, and had that open-air feel as if he was outside the hotel.
“Why’s that?”
Cool took a second to respond, “Because the Superb Seven are here.”
Chapter 12
I arrived at the hotel lobby, but Mr. Haha intercepted me before I ran outside. I saw lights and a general commotion of people out the windows, but couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
“What happened to your costume?” he said, noticing my missing cowl and headgear.
I shook my head, “it was bothering me.”
“Nevertheless, you found it?” Mr. Haha asked me.
I waved the copper box.
“I’ll hide it,” the robot reached for it and I have to admit that for a second there, I had trouble trusting him. I hesitated long enough for Haha to cock his rabbit head a bit, but I relented and handed it to him. He buried it in his kimono where it was incorporated into his hardware and as safe as we could make it.
“OK, this is your big scene. Lights, camera, action!” he said and ran out with me close in tow, his lighting and camera bots following me around for some reason, jostling for position.
“You’re going to record this? Come on, man!”
“It’s becoming pretty evident that you, Blackjack are the star of our show,” He said, walking me outside. “My latest polling shows a 47% favorability rating, and head to head against the rest of us, you’re the most popular, in particular with women eighteen to forty years of age.”
But I had no time to give Mr. Haha and his statistics any thought, and much less the implications to the robot putting our footage online despite Retcon’s orders and our wishes. Running outside, I felt what the ancient Roman gladiators must have felt as they walked into the arena of the coliseum. A crowd had formed, held back by dozens of police officers. Some had hastily designed signs (including one that read “Apogee, show us ur tits”), others were betting and drinking and otherwise being rambunctious behind the police lines. Two helicopters circled overhead, beaming us with their klaxon lights. Several of the ‘Guidos’ were hanging around the Rocket Flyer across the street, looking at us, waiting.
Ahead of me stood Dr. Zundergrub, surrounded by his demonic horde panicking from the lights, tearing at his lab coat. Beside him was Cool Hand, who was yelling back at the crowd, working them up into a frenzy like a professional wrestler.
And beyond them, barring our way to the Rocket Flyer stood the Superb Seven.
Only six were in sight as Mirage had already turned invisible, ready to hurl his mind-twisting powers at us. My attention was instantly drawn to Atmosphero, who floated in the air hamming it up for the cameras. He’d done something to his suit. It was busier, with not one, but three capes that interloped to make one big one. He looked straight at me, with a looming scowl on his face. In all my worry about Apogee and Mirage, I’d forgotten about him. I figured he’d be more careful this time. He was amongst true powers now, so he could bide his time, and jump in when he saw me in trouble.
And speaking of Apogee, there she was.
She looked different in person, taller. She had an athlete’s body, with the lightly muscled legs, arms and shoulders of a professional volleyball player or an Olympic swimmer. Her costume was scandalous, with navy spandex very tightly cut around her bikini line and illuminated purple trim. A purple sash wrapped around her waist that fluttered in the wind. Her upper body was of the same material, tight and form-fitting, covering her torso and arms save for a strategically placed oval slit placed horizontally in the middle of her chest where her compressed cleavage lay bare for the whole world’s delight. The dark of the suit was contrasted with a luminescent purple line pattern ebbed and flowed as if it had a mind of its own.
Her knee-length boots were also dark blue with the same pattern, and her face was covered only with a small domino mask. Her face was pristine, slightly tanned, with wide, full lips and a flawless jaw line. Her nose was a bit long, but fitting with the rest of her beautiful face. Apogee’s light brown hair danced atop her shoulders with the breeze.
Her face belonged on a Greek statue, and her body was a violation of the rules of nature, yet it was her eyes that were most fascinating. They were striking, green with tinges of hazel and gray, and full of rage. Like two belligerent viridian pools, both exquisite and deadly.
When we looked at each other, she glared, much like a wolf does to the chicken safely inside the chicken coop, letting the bird know what will happen if it dares venture outside.
Well, I had dared.
I glanced over at Epic a moment, and some of the others, but they didn’t ca
tch my attention like she did. Her stare was intoxicating, I couldn’t help myself. Much like I had lost myself against Dr. Zundergrub, but this time there was no super power involved, raw beauty.
Epic caught me staring at Apogee and it was clear that he didn’t like it. He was a big fellow, far bigger than anything I’d ever seen before. He looked like his body was about to explode in muscle, and was a head taller than me. His muscular development and definition were disconcerting. Epic was so blown out that if you pinched him with a needle, he’d pop like a balloon. I knew that wasn’t the case, though, and fortunately he was facing off with Mr. Haha and not me.
If Influx had been with us, he would’ve faced off against her.
It was my second hero vs. villain group fight, and I started to notice how they played out. First, you had a stand-off, where the two groups filed in and squared off. Basically, during this part, supers and villains chose their opponents, resembling when we were kids in dance class and teachers put the boys and girls into two long lines. You would count off to make sure you were in the same spot as the girl you liked, avoiding the girls you didn’t.
Superdynamic was next to Epic, both intent on dropping Mr. Haha fast. I suppose they saw him as the leader of the group and the most deadly. In a way, he was, with those weapons fashioned into his arms. But I saw none of those super guns. Mr. Haha had drawn his rusty old katana, and was holding it to his side, unconcerned at the heroes that faced him.
While he didn’t have any powers, Superdynamic was a techie, like me. He had designed the suit he wore, which looked much like the spandex that Apogee, Epic and the others wore. It was a power suit that allowed him to fly, enhanced his strength to superhuman levels, and had an ablative shield.
Facing off against Cool Hand was Gamma Demon, a red spandex guy who I knew nothing about. He wore a red-orange suit with a radiation warning on his chest. Raw energy crackled from the gamma bands around his wrists, probably containing his radioactive power from killing all of us, including the spectators. He looked pretty impressive, but Cool Hand was ignoring him, his attention instead on Apogee in gaping awe.
Across from Zundergrub was FTL, the sixth and last visible member of the Superb Seven. He wore a full set of futuristic powered armor, glowing with some strange radiating phosphorescence, and a full helm that obscured his face. FTL was a flier, like Superdynamic and Gamma Demon and his suit seemed to thrum with power. I knew even less about him than all the others.
The missing man was Mirage. I know I had devoted most of my research to Apogee, but I was aware of his power repertoire and his strategies. In addition to being able to cloud the minds of others with his namesake tricks, he liked to start a fight invisible spending his time obfuscating others and concealing his companions. One of his favorite tricks was called the Mirror Image. He would bounce illusions of his teammates all over the place, standing in front of you one second and behind you the next. Before you knew it, someone was pounding your face from a totally different direction.
He was also a healer, and his secondary job would be to keep the others alive and kicking despite our best efforts. Mirage was the first man to find and drop, but he happened to be invisible.
Not only were we outnumbered, but their powers seemed to work against us very well. They had enough brawny guys to keep us busy, and a few tactical guys to sit back and take us down. Their plan was to have Epic, Apogee and Superdynamic keeping us occupied, while Atmosphero and Gamma Demon used their ranged powers to drop us.
And it was up to me to ruin their plan. I was responsible for clearing areas with my explosive, concussive and gas arrows. I had to do something to stop them from mowing over us. Zundergrub could probably beat FTL one on one, but he’d have three people in his face at the start of the fight. I doubted even his secret yellow imp could help him there. Cool could make life impossible for Superdynamic, but I didn’t think he could beat him outright. Maybe frustrate him with his speed, get a good lick or two in, but no more. Haha had no chance against Epic. Knowing he was fighting a robot, Epic wouldn’t restrain himself, using his strength to rip the rabbit apart as soon as he got hands on him. Haha was full of surprises, and maybe he’d use the plasma cannon that almost ripped me in two. I could still feel that pain and the slab of dried black goo on my stomach. But Haha wouldn’t open up with the big guns. It wasn’t his style. He would start with his sword and wait until later, until he could think of a good line.
Cool walked closer to Apogee, but not too close to draw her ire, “Hot damn, baby. You got it all going on.”
She ignored him, her attention devoted to me.
“I’m not kidding,” he continued, patting his bat. “Have you ever done the Spider or the Golden Gate? You look flexible enough.”
Her eyes flared, leaving me for a moment and regarding the man with a ferocious glare.
“Enough!” Superdynamic shot in.
“Hey, I’m working on something here. Get in fucking line,” Cool snapped at him. “What about the Mexican Horseshoe? We’d need three hookers, a bottle of corn syrup, a sack of flour, a socket wrench and a donkey with a ski mask. But trust me when I tell you it’s-“
“You shit,” Apogee said, losing her cool and took a step forward, but Superdynamic jumped in front of her, not wanting the fight to start on our terms.
“I said leave the lady alone, asshole!”
Cool stepped back, smiling. That was his way, to get people off guard with his rude banter. Get them off their game, to make a mistake, then to strike when they least expected it. We had to watch him, and follow his lead. It was weird, but I was starting to get comfortable with the group, to know their tricks.
I looked over at Epic, who was watching us with a smug smile on his face, standing in perfect “hero” pose. He had nothing to fear from us, in fact, he could probably beat our group all by himself. Epic was more concerned with a few news cameras among the crowd and he was content with letting Superdynamic manage the situation.
“You pricks have one chance, and one chance only,” Superdynamic said. “Surrender and you won’t get beat down. We got the numbers, we got the power. And you know this.”
“And if we do not surrender?” Mr. Haha said.
“It’ll hurt,” Epic said.
“But you won’t like it,” Superdynamic added. “So what’s it going to be?”
Dr. Zundergrub actually laughed. Haha, standing next to me, got into his ready stance, with his free left hand pointing at Epic in taunting fashion. The huge superhero actually waved to the crowd.
“Ok, fine. Fuck it,” Cool said, tossing aside his bat. “I don’t want any more of this shit.”
He walked forward with his hands up, crossing the gap between their group and ours.
“Cool Hand, you betraying bastard!” Zundergrub roared, showing more emotion than I had ever seen. “I will kill you for this!” The doctor took a half-step forward, about to unleash his yellow imp at Cool Hand, but FTL matched his move, checking Zundergrub.
“Fuck off, old man. I’ve had it with the super villain crap.”
The move surprised Superdynamic, who seemed unable to tell whether Cool Hand was being honest or not. He also had a dilemma of not having anything to restrain the surrendered villain. Cool walked up to Superdynamic and Epic, and dropped to one knee.
“No tricks,” Superdynamic said “or I’ll crack your head open.”
Cool Hand replied with a soft voice, meant only for the two heroes, but I managed to hear him say, “Nah, I’m through with all this crap. I’ll testify against them and everything.”
As Cool’s bat rolled on the ground, it circled around the handle towards me. I noticed there was something on the aluminum, something stuck to it like a ball of goop. It rolled up to me so that I had to stop it wig my boot, meaning to pick it up and toss it out of my way. When the bat touched my foot, I felt a surge of energy I had felt once before.
Cool had hasted me.
Everything moved slower, even the crowd and the helicop
ters above. It was hard to tell what was happening, but when Superdynamic reached for Cool, something happened to the hero. Realizing Cool had tricked him, he tried to shout a warning, but it was too late. Cool threw a temporal bubble at the two supers, freezing them like statues.
“So put a quarter in your ass, ‘cause you played yourself,” Cool said, standing. He did a funny hand dance in victory, despite standing so close to the rest of the unaffected Superbs. He looked back at me with a big smile, “Cool, huh?”
The Superb Seven were now five, and we had the advantage.
Apogee charged me as expected, crossing the distance to me in an instance and throwing a wide-sweeping haymaker that I easily dodged by rolling on the ground across from her.
The fight had started, but there were only three of us moving at any appreciable speed. I came up from the roll, giving the enemy formation one more glance and saw what I was looking for. If Mirage was invisible, he didn’t have to expend energy making the illusion affect his teammates as well. He only had to fool us. And if they could see him, his companions would space out in the initial team ‘spread.’ I had seen the same thing in Los Angeles. Heroes were predictable that way and everyone stood in formation.
There was only one place Mirage could be: a suspicious open spot between Gamma and Epic, on the far side of the Superb Seven’s arrangement. I drew and fired an arrow faster than I ever had before. I rolled away from an approaching Apogee along the ground as the concussion grenade exploded. On the edge of my peripheral vision, I saw a mass of white spandex and fabric flying backwards from the explosion as my aim was true.
Then Apogee appeared someplace else, a few feet laterally from where she was coming. Mirage’s displacement illusion had worn off.
And now we had even odds against the Superbs.
“That’s not playing fair,” I muttered, rolling on the ground away from her and drawing another arrow. She was almost on top of me, and would try to take my bow. This was probably my last arrow and I had to make it count.
“Get back here,” she roared, coming after me.