by Silk Smooth
“Ssssss . . . suck it, bitch,” Desmon directed. “Go deep and kill it!”
Christina’s head was moving so fast. Watching her almost gave me a damn headache. Their sex session was nothing like ours. Desmon was always calm, gentle, and careful with his words. It was as if I was watching a different man, one that had me in total shock as I continued to watch him getting it in with Christina. She backed away from his dick and dropped to her knees as he faced the wall. When she started licking his asshole, and I heard him screaming out like a bitch, that was when I had had enough. I lifted the gun in my hand and fired one shot into the glass door, intentionally missing them both. The glass shattered everywhere, and I couldn’t believe when I saw Desmon reach for Christina and use her as a shield.
“The fuck?” he shouted and trembled with her in front of him. She trembled too, and tears began to rush down her snow white face. Both of their eyes were bugged as they stared at me in fear.
“Do . . . please don’t hurt us,” Christina cried out. “I . . . I didn’t want to do any of this, I swear. Desmon made me do it.”
I couldn’t help but to laugh. “That’s right, bitch. Throw that nigga under the bus to save your own ass. I don’t blame you, not one bit. After all, somebody must pay for my pain and sufferin’, and for my wasted time.”
I used my cell phone to take a few pictures of them, and at that moment I realized that Desmon was worth more to me alive than he was dead.
“Baby, let me talk to you,” he said, trying to sweet talk me. “Thi . . . this has all been one big mistake. This bitch don’t mean anything to me, and the only reason I’m here is because I thought you were upset with me about what happened earlier. Marva was sweating me, and when I called you didn’t answer your phone. Give me a minute to put on my clothes. Then we can get out of here and go somewhere private. I’m so sorry about this, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you, sweetheart. I’m telling you right now that I don’t give a damn about anyone but you.”
It was so funny that I could now see through his bullshit lies. It took all of this for me to see who I was really dealing with, and it was such an ugly thing.
I waved the gun around and told Christina to leave. “Now, bitch. Before I change my mind and blow yo’ damn brains out.”
She rushed out of the shower and slipped on the wet floor as she ran past me with cuts on her feet from the glass. I wanted to knock the shit out of her, but my beef was with Desmon. I inched my way up to the shower and held the gun up to his face. His scary-ass crouched down, and as I looked at him, I couldn’t help but to think about the times Mama spoke about these pretty, money making niggas who were cowards. They definitely knew how to make money, but they damn sure didn’t have any guts.
“I came here for an explanation, but you know what, nigga? This is all the answers I need. You can get back to fuckin’ your dirty whore after I leave, but in the meantime, I’ll be contactin’ you tomorrow with my bank account number. I’m not sure how much money I’ll be demandin’ just yet, but be sure to have plenty of it ready, especially if you don’t want anyone to see these pictures. That includes your wife, who may be able to use them against you in court. So think real hard about how you want to handle this. With that, I’m out. Don’t bother to call me again, but I will most definitely be callin’ you.”
I started to walk away, but I had to get one fucking crack against his face with the gun. I caught him off guard and slammed the gun against his face as hard as I could. Unfortunately, though, I was so mad that I didn’t stop there. As he crouched down and shielded his face, I pistol whipped his ass until I got tired. The blows from the gun tore at his skin, causing plenty of wounds that started to bleed.
“Tha . . . that’s enough,” he shouted and flopped to the floor of the shower with blood and water dripping down the side of his face. His lip was busted, and redness could be seen in his right eye where I’d hit him. When he opened his mouth, I saw his front tooth dangling, trying to hang on.
“Go,” he said in a whisper while gazing at me behind his watery eyes. “I . . . I’m sorry, and I’ll have your money ready to . . . tomorrow.”
“Good. And I’m sorry too.”
I uppercut his ass with the butt of the gun, trying to break his fucking jaw. Wasn’t sure if I accomplished that or not, but his head slumped and he covered his face with his hands. I backed away from that piece of shit, and as I made my way to the front door, I saw Christina sitting on the couch sobbing.
“Ple . . . please don’t tell anyone about this,” she cried. “I don’t want to lose my job, and I don’t want anyone to see those pictures. I wish that none of this ever happened.”
“Me either, Christina. But unfortunately, it did. And you know what? I wouldn’t want no one to see you sucking a black man’s asshole either. Allow me to spare you the embarrassment.”
From just a few feet away, I lifted the gun and squeezed the trigger. The bullet whistled through the air and landed in the middle of her forehead. She fell back on the couch and her eyes stayed wide open as she stared at the squeaking ceiling fan from above. I honestly do not know why I wanted to kill the bitch, but I was in a trigger happy mood and couldn’t control it. Christina couldn’t benefit me in anyway. Desmon could, so his ass was lucky to be alive. I wasn’t sure how I was going to spin this madness, and by the time I reached my car I was a nervous fucking wreck. I sped off, but my hands were shaking so badly that I pulled my car over about three blocks away and parked. I reached for my phone, and in a serious panic I called Mama.
“Don’t do it,” she said as if she were wide awake. “I mean it, Chyna, don’t do it.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t you do anything to Desmon or to anyone who is involved with him. I suspect that his wife stopped by to see you. All she wants is for you to do the dirty work for her, and you’ll be a damn fool for killing Desmon like she wants you to do.”
“Ho . . . how do you know his wife came by to see me?”
“How many times do I have to tell y’all that when y’all think I’m not paying attention, I am? Because of what happened today, I had somebody watching you. I wanted to make sure that Desmon’s wife didn’t try anything stupid, and last I heard was that she was at your apartment. I also heard that you left, and when Marva was stopped by the person I asked to go there, she told them that you were on your way to see Desmon at another bitch’s house. I kept calling you because I didn’t want you to do anything stupid. Let that nigga be, Chyna, and I hope like hell that you didn’t do anything that you’re going to regret.”
I sat silent for a while and stared ahead in thought. A slow tear dripped down my face as I thought about what I had already done. “It’s too late,” I said in a tearful voice. “It’s too late, Mama, and I’m so sick and tired of bein’ fucked over by these niggas. Why do they keep on doin’ this shit, and why can’t I find a nigga who want to be real with me and do right? Is it that goddamn hard for a nigga to treat a bitch right?”
“Maybe, maybe not, but you’ve made some bad choices, Chyna. This shit is on you, and you’ve got to stop running around here like some sick, dick-whipped trick who don’t know any better. At the end of the day, that nigga was married and you didn’t have no business with him. Whether he was having problems with his wife or not, his ass was off limits, and you should have focused your time and energy elsewhere. He promised you the world, and for whatever reason, you thought that fool could deliver. What is wrong with you for believing that dumb shit, and have I not taught you better?”
“You did, but I hate it when you’re so right. I hate that I keep getting this love shit wrong, and all I want to do is experience real love with somebody who can keep it one hundred with me. Is there something wrong with that? Am I asking for too damn much?”
I slammed my hand on the steering wheel and slumped down in the seat. I began to sob like a baby, and that was the last thing that Mama wanted to hear.
“Chyna, pull yourself together! Yo
u need to—”
“I can’t,” I cried out and hit the steering wheel again. “This shit hurts, Mama! It hurts, and for one damn time in my life I just need to let this shit out and cry about it! I’m tired . . . so tired of feelin’ fuckin’ used by niggas! Don’t you understand this pain . . . do you even know what this shit feels like?”
“Hell yes, I do! And I’ve done all that I could do to school you and your sisters about the love game and hip y’all to how some niggas get down. My goddamn motto is, don’t know love or show love, unless it’s for the love of family. I say that shit because there are so many cutthroat niggas who don’t deserve yo’ love. When you open yourself up to those fools, this is what happens. The good thing is, wounds heal. But the scars remain. Feel those scars and revisit them every time a nigga step to you and try to spill that foolishness that Desmon swung your way. Next time, be ready for it, Chyna, and stop playing the fool. Chalk this shit up as a loss, and don’t let the bullshit happen to you again.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and rubbed my aching forehead. “I’ll try, but in the meantime, what am I goin’ to do about this situation?”
“What do you mean? What about your situation? Did you do something to Desmon?”
“I pistol whipped his ass and wanted to kill him but I didn’t. I did, however, have to deal with his trick because she kept mouthing off to me and I didn’t appreciate that shit.”
I could hear Mama release a deep breath. She remained silent.
“I know what you’re thinkin’,” I said. “But I worked with that white bitch on my job, and I felt betrayed by her, too. The only reason I didn’t do anything to Desmon—”
“Wait one goddamn minute,” Mama interrupted. “Did you say white bitch? Are you telling me that you went up into a white bitch’s house and put her ass to sleep?”
“If that’s how you want to put it, yes.”
“Chyna, where are you? How far away are you from that trick’s house?”
“A few blocks away. Why?”
“Bitch, you listen to me and listen to me good. Get yo’ ass away from there right now. Hurry to this hotel and be ready to take yo’ ass back to Cali with me in a few hours.”
“Why? Why are you trippin’ out? I already have an idea about how I’m goin’ to spin this, and as soon as Desmon up the money—”
“Didn’t I tell you what would happen if you ever killed a white bitch? You know how the police are when it comes to them, and I always told you to only go there if it were a life-threatening situation. Please tell me that was the case, because I have a bad feeling about this shit. Yo’ ass is going to need one hell of a defense.”
I sat up straight when I heard sirens from a distance. Maybe Mama was right, and it was time for me to get the fuck out of there. I pulled my car away from the curb, and could still hear the sounds of police sirens. “Mama, what hotel are you at again?”
“I’m at the Four Seasons on East Delaware Place. If you don’t think you can make it here, hurry to Honey’s place and I’ll come get you from there.”
The urgency in Mama’s voice, along with the loud sirens, made me panic. I was speeding so fast that I didn’t notice a police car coming my way. I slowed down, but the car made a U-turn and headed my way. “A police car is followin’ me,” I shouted to Mama. “What should I do? Should I try to out run him?”
“Damn, Chyna! I can’t believe this shit! I ha . . . hate to say this to you, but put that muthafuckin’ pedal to the floor and after you lose him, jump out of that damn car and run! Do it now, focus, hang up this phone, and I expect a call from you real soon!”
I looked at the flashing lights in my rearview mirror and smacked away my flowing tears. “In a minute, Mama. I love you.”
“I love you too. Now go!”
My foot hit the accelerator and I burned hella rubber as I sped off down the street, trying to get away from the police car. I was moving so fast that my car was shaking and the speedometer needle could go no further. At this time in the morning, I was lucky that the streets were clear. I was able to dash down the streets, and when I made it to the highway, I swerved in and out of the minimal traffic to get away from the police.
My heart was racing and my palms were sweating so much that my hands could barely stay gripped on the steering wheel. My eyes were blurred from the falling tears, and my head was banging from my deep thoughts. I seriously thought I could get away with this, but by the time I reached three more exits, several more police vehicles had joined in on the chase. I made a sharp turn off the highway that made my car feel as though it was on two wheels. The bumps in the road caused my body to jump and when there was not one police car in sight, I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car. Not knowing where I was, I ran down a grassy hill and attempted to hide myself in a close by wooded area with a bunch of trees. My phone was in my pocket and it kept on ringing. I knew it was Mama calling me, but as I reached into my pocket, that was when I saw the helicopter’s bright lights. The lights were so bright that they lit up the entire area like Christmas tree. I hurried to call Mama, and the only thing that I was able to say to her was . . . “They got me.”
“Drop the gun or we’ll shoot!” The officers yelled.
I dropped the phone, causing it to crash as it hit the ground. I then raised my hands in the air and yelled loudly so they could hear me. “It’s a phone! Not a gun! Please don’t shoot!”
Several officers moved in on me, and they hurried to drop me to the ground. As the cuffs were put on me, I couldn’t help but think about one person—Mama.
Karrine
10
Mama woke me out of my sleep, cussing and fussing about what was going on with Chyna. She explained everything to me, and all I could do was drop back on the sofa in the hotel room and cry. My heart ached, because I definitely didn’t want my sister to go out like this. There was no way in hell that she was in police custody, and I was so sure that Mama would come up with a plan or something to get Chyna out of this shit.
Mama slammed the phone down, almost breaking it. “Where in the fuck is Honey?” she shouted. “I’ve been trying to reach that nigga for hours and he hasn’t returned any of my goddamn phone calls!”
Hearing her say that made me cry harder. When Honey left his house earlier, he seemed to be on a mission. One that I could in no way stop, so there was no telling where he was. I told Mama about the suspicious car from earlier, and I also told her about the phone call he’d gotten.
“So you don’t have no idea who he was talking to?” she asked.
“No. For all I knew, I thought he was talkin’ to you. All . . . all of this craziness needs to stop. What do you think is goin’ to happen to Chyna?”
Mama was puffing on her cigarette like it was going out of style. I had never seen her this frantic before, and all she kept doing was pacing the floor with her cell phone in her hand. She patted the cell phone against her leg while in deep thought.
“Call Simone,” she said to me. “Tell her to come here right now.”
I used my cell phone to call Simone. It was almost five o’clock in the morning, and when she answered she sounded as if she were still asleep.
“Chyna’s been arrested,” I said. “Mama wants you to come to the hotel right now.”
“Arrested? For what?”
“I’ll tell you about it when you get here. Just come, okay?”
Simone said that she was on her way. I looked at Mama, who kept taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself. I seriously thought she was going to have a heart attack, and when I told her to sit down and chill, she halted her steps and glared at me.
“Chill? How in the fuck do you expect for me to chill when my goddamn daughter may be charged with murder? I can’t find that lousy-ass nigga, Honey, and if you want to do something, why don’t you call some of that bastard’s hoes to find out where the fuck he is.”
Mama was out of line, but I kept my mouth shut and didn’t say shit. The last thing she needed
right now was to pick a fight with me, because I was already on edge about her and this drug selling bullshit with Honey anyway. I was worried about him, too, and for Shania’s sake, I truly hoped that everything was okay.
Mama’s cell phone rang, causing my heart to drop somewhere below my stomach. I was relieved when I heard her say Honey’s name.
“I’ve been calling you for hours!” Mama shouted. “Please get over here so you can help me deal with this shit with Chyna. She’s been arrested, and I am losing my goddamn mind trying to figure out what to do!”
Mama didn’t wait for a reply. She threw the phone at the wall, breaking the phone into pieces.
I stood and walked up to Mama, holding her shoulders so she could face me. “Mama, please,” I begged. “Please calm down and stop actin’ like this. I know you’re worried, but Chyna won’t be able to call if you’re around here breakin’ phones. We will all get through this, and it may not be as bad as we think.”
Mama stared at me with so much anger and hurt trapped in her eyes. For as long as I could remember, I never, ever saw my mother cry. Tears filled her eyes and she did her best to fight back tears that were trying to escape. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She swallowed, but the lump in her throat wouldn’t go away. She then touched her chest and squeezed it. “That’s my baby,” Mama said. “Wha . . . what am I going to do if they lock up my child and keep her behind bars forever, Karrine? You already know that if she is charged with murdering a white bitch, you . . . you know what they’re going to do to her. She will rot in jail until the day she dies.”
Mama dropped her head, and I couldn’t believe that she was crying on my shoulder. I tried to be the strong one here, but seeing her like this hurt me so bad. It hurt me because after all of this time, I finally witnessed how deep Mama’s love for us really was. She never wanted to see any of us hurt, and she tried to prevent all that she could by displaying tough love.