by Em Ashcroft
He’d made her impossibly full. When her instinct kicked in, telling her to fight and pull away, she determinedly remained where she was. She bent lower to give him better access.
“Oh fuck, I should have brought a mirror in here.” There was a mirror on the other side of the room, but they couldn’t see it from this angle. “I want you to see this, how beautiful it is. Jesus, Trinity, you’ll be the death of me.” He withdrew almost all the way.
Her name on his lips sounded better than any endearment.
Slowly he eased his way in, supporting her, and when he stopped, she said, “Is that it?”
“As much as I dare.”
“No. I want it all.”
“Oh God.” He pressed against her, easing in another smidgen. “You’re new to this. We have to take care.”
“Brand-new. A virgin.”
With a cry of surrender, he pressed his hips forward, and then his skin grazed her ass, and she knew he was in. Before she tightened or reacted, he touched her clit, taking it between thumb and forefinger to roll and tease. Her reaction was immediate and sent another gush of liquid over her cunt and thighs.
When he moved, she gasped.
“Tell me what it feels like, sweetheart. Tell me how it feels.”
“Like you’re close to my heart. Right inside me, deep, like you won’t ever leave again.”
With a rusty chuckle, he eased out then in. Only a small motion, but one that was amplified with the newness of the situation. “Believe me, I don’t want to. If I do this right, do I get some of that food downstairs?”
“As much as you want.” Just as well she’d already prepared it because she wouldn’t be fit for anything after this. Intense waves of pleasure washed over her, water pounded on her upper back, and her hair clung to her skin in damp strands. “You’re doing it right.”
He took infinite care with her. So much that when her muscles had relaxed enough for him to slide in and out more easily, she had to push against him, trying to get him to move.
“Harder,” she demanded. He was touching incredibly sensitive areas inside her, making her wonder all kinds of wicked things. Like, how would it feel to have one man in her anus and another in her cunt?
Then he gave her that feeling, slipping one finger, then two, inside her pussy. His turn to moan. “I can feel my cock moving. Oh, fuck, baby, you are so beautiful.”
“You keep saying that.”
“I’m a man of limited vocabulary.”
Even now he could make her laugh, although her response was admittedly shaky. It came on the heels of a shard of arousal so powerful it pushed her to a level she hadn’t known existed before.
Before this, before Nathan. He rode her faster, driving her relentlessly up, but he didn’t slam his body against hers. He must be using incredible control because she couldn’t have worked him the same way, not as carefully.
Her moans became louder, less conscious, and she didn’t care. Not about anything except coming because if she didn’t come soon, she’d die. She just knew it. His cock rubbed a spot inside her. He found her G-spot with his fingers almost at the same time, and it all ended for her.
She screamed loud and long. He gasped her name as he sank over her back, pushing until the spasms of his body conquered him. He was no more in control than her.
Panting, half laughing, they pressed against the towel wall. His chest heaved against her back when he drew breath, squashing all the air from her body. She didn’t care.
He drew back and carefully pulled his cock out of her. Then he washed her again, disregarding the washcloth in favor of his hands, smoothing them over her, taking great care with her ass. He wouldn’t let her do anything for herself. After he switched the water off, he swathed her in a big, soft white towel. The hospital towels were white, but the similarity ended there. These had to be the softest, thickest towels in existence.
“We are so doing that again,” she murmured.
He bent, tucking his arm under her knees and lifted her. “Too fucking right we are. Now lie down and rest.”
He carried her through to the bedroom and laid her on the bed before he carefully unwrapped her from the damp towel and tucked her under the covers. “Hey, I can’t,” she muttered. “The meal will be ready.”
“I’ll see to it. What do you want with it? Rice, salad, potatoes?”
“Salad would be great.”
She was already drifting off when the door to the bedroom closed with a quiet click.
* * * *
Nathan had to wonder if Trinity had wanted what he’d planned for tonight. But she had when he’d done it. When he’d found her, naked and gorgeous in the shower, his plans had solidified. They’d had a shitty day, and he wanted to make sure they had a great night.
He paused at his chest of drawers to pick up the box before he pulled on a pair of jeans and headed downstairs. He’d see if he could salvage the dinner.
Clever Trinity, to make a casserole. When he lifted the lid, he moaned in ecstasy. He hadn’t eaten properly all day, and he was ravenous. Coq au vin, rich, meaty, and fulfilling. Did that sound like his dick? Oh yeah.
Grinning, he put the casserole back in the oven and went to find the vegetables. She wanted salad, but he might add a serving of mashed potatoes to that. He’d frozen some at the weekend. Who’d have thought he’d have found his downfall in an ornery, down-to-earth surgeon?
The minute he’d seen Trinity he’d wanted her. Six months later, he wanted her for good. All he had to do was persuade her. That would take some doing.
He chopped a tomato, ensuring the pieces were the same size and shape.
She brought out his wild side. Inside, his cat rumbled, and he rubbed his chest as if it lived there.
She loosened him up, made him think outside himself, which couldn’t be bad. For years, he’d worried about finding his breed partner, even more so than finding their mate. The years went by, and nobody appeared. A shape-shifter just knew, they told him, but that didn’t help. Knew what? Whereabouts did he feel it? As he sliced his way through a crisp, white onion and then took great pleasure chopping it into tiny pieces, he smiled at the memory. The chances were he’d never know, but he’d accepted that the day he’d decided to become a surgeon. He’d donate his services to the shape-shifter community in a different way.
The moment he’d made that decision, he felt lighter. He’d traveled all over the country, and a large part of the rest of the world, trying to find his breed partner. He believed it was some weird combination of chemicals that made a man a breed partner to another, but nobody had succeeded in isolating them. Thank fuck, because that might lead the shape-shifting race in a way he, for one, didn’t want it going.
A shape-shifter could only make a child by working with his breed partner. The sperm from two males had to mingle with an egg to make a shape-shifter baby. That meant letting another man into bed with Trinity and himself. AI was pretty much a no-go because of the fragility of shape-shifter sperm and its short-lived nature.
If he found his breed partner, he’d probably discuss living separately because the idea of sharing Trinity made his cat snarl and his eyes spark fire. But after thirty-five years, he doubted he’d ever see his partner. He’d probably died or lived in obscurity somewhere. Everything depended on them actually meeting. Some shape-shifter males dedicated their lives to finding their breed partners.
Fucking nonsense, all of it. Total crap. Why should he live his life waiting for something that might never happen?
All that had led him to his current decision. He wanted Trinity badly, and nobody would stop him from having her. Except her. That was why he felt so nervous now. All those people who told him he had nerves of steel would be laughing their asses off right about now.
Fuck them. Only one person mattered.
He heard her coming down the stairs and toward the kitchen. Along with most shape-shifters, he liked plenty of space so when he shifted he didn’t knock things over, so she had a way t
o go. But he heard every step. It felt like foreplay.
When she came in, he strode from behind the island to the table and drew a chair back for her. Maybe they should have used the formal dining room, but it was too late for that now. Besides, she’d guess what he had in mind, and he’d have the best chance of success if he surprised her with it. Or, at least, didn’t put her under pressure.
She sat, and he tucked the chair under her. “Have you ever worked as a waiter?” she asked, amusement in her voice.
“Hasn’t everybody? Yeah, I worked at a snack place on campus.”
“Where did you go to college?”
He shrugged one shoulder and went back to his station. “All over. I got my first degree in England. Then I went to Germany to learn a few techniques, then back here to study for the rest of my medical degree.” He grinned. “Maybe I was trying to find my soul mate, when she was in the States all the time.”
“Or your breed partner.”
Fuck, why did she have to be so perceptive? He shrugged “Maybe. I thought I’d give it one last try. After I came home, I decided I’d let him find me if he wanted. I didn’t intend to spend my life hunting for someone who might not exist. I’m done.”
“You won’t have kids.”
“I don’t care.” He didn’t think about kids much these days. Only once a week or so. Soon the urge would wear off. “I’m not sure I want the disruption of finding a breed partner now.”
“Set in your ways?” She cocked her head, smiling. Clearly she wasn’t too concerned with his decision. Maybe she welcomed it.
“Something like that.”
He brought two shallow dishes, brimming with fragrant coq au vin, and went back for the salad bowl and plates. “You’d better be hungry.”
He loved that Trinity didn’t worry about her weight. Not overmuch, anyhow. Not that he’d care if she did pile on the pounds, apart from the health aspect. But calorie-counters could get tedious to be around. He cast his mind back to a girl he’d known when he was studying in England and recalled her fury when he’d dumped her. Not for long, though, because she’d hooked a lord after him. She’d married him, too.
They ate in companionable silence, slaking their hunger at first then exchanging chat about their day and what shifts they were on in the coming weeks. “Isn’t it funny how we’re always on the same shifts?” she said, pointing her fork at him. “Except it’s not a coincidence, is it?”
“There I go, saving lives every day of the week. Don’t I deserve something for that?” He gave her his best plaintive voice, but he worked hard to keep a straight face. “I have more chance of getting the shifts I want than you, so why not?”
“You should be ashamed.” She shook her head. “But I’m glad you do.” She frowned. “You don’t fix mine, do you?”
“What, with that battle-axe who runs the department?” He winked. “She wouldn’t let me arrange her shifts for her, even if I seduced her in her supply closet.” He forked up a piece of chicken and chewed thoughtfully.
“You’re right. She wouldn’t let you do that. Far too wicked.” She tilted a grin at him. “Who knew what a man could do in a half-hour if he put his mind to it?”
He grinned and carried on eating. “This is delicious.”
“Did you get to see the other guy from the accident? The one they took upstairs?”
He shook his head. “The idiot left. He asked to leave, but they told him they had more scans to do on his head. While they were arranging it, he went to the bathroom and never came back.” He shrugged. “Some people are born stupid. The cops will want to speak to him, so they’ll probably catch up with him.”
To his mild surprise, his bowl was empty. He considered getting another helping, but on second thought, he had better things to do. He waited until she finished her meal.
He reached in his pocket for the little box and placed it on the table. She would be bound to realize what it contained.
“You don’t get to see it until you say yes,” he said, when she dropped her fork in her dish and pushed it away. Her eyes were wide, her red lips slightly open.
“I love you,” he said. “I’ve never said that to anyone before, except my family. I don’t want to lose you.” He touched his chest. “My cat and I, we’re in agreement. I want to know you’re the one I’m going to see at the end of the day. I want to comfort you when you’re sad and celebrate when you’re happy. I want you in my life, Trinity. Please say yes.” He gave a wry smile. “And tell me what you want. I’ve told you what I want.”
For the space of twenty seconds, she said nothing at all. She picked up the glass of wine he’d poured for her when they’d started eating and took a big gulp. Nathan waited. He wanted to babble, to tell her all the things he loved about her, but if he started, he’d never stop. He had to keep something in reserve in case she said no.
“I want to tell you something about me,” she said unexpectedly. If she needed to, then he had no objection. As long as she said yes at the end of it. “I won’t hold you to anything.” She covered his clenched fist with hers. “I have a lot of baggage, Nathan. You might not want me when you hear it all.”
He couldn’t imagine anything that would put him off wanting her permanently in his life.
She heaved a breath, her chest moving in a deep sigh. “I wasn’t always Trinity Forrest. I was born somebody different. My name was once Katrin O’Shaugnessy.”
His face relaxed into a smile. “I’ve always loved the Irish.” With any luck he’d have one of his own. He couldn’t pretend her news didn’t come as a surprise, but she’d have a good reason for changing her name. He knew it.
She didn’t return the smile, but went on with her story. “My parents weren’t what you might call the most upright of citizens. It’s not that they were major criminals, but a bit of this and a bit of that went some way to paying the bills. They worked for one gang in particular. My dad went to school with the chief, and they both dated my mother, but my dad won. But the boss—Rossi—won in life. He had a good racket going, several of them. He threw jobs my dad’s way, so we were okay. Then my dad took a driving job with him. He did this—”
She held out her hand, palm flat to the table and wobbled it from side to side in the gesture that meant “not quite legal.” “He was excited, said this was a big one. I had a sister and a brother, and he promised to take us to Florida for a vacation.” She swallowed.
He didn’t like that “had.” All thoughts of levity left his mind. He propped his chin on his fists and watched her, listening intently to what she was telling him.
“Monday of the next week, he came home. He was terrified, but he sent us away. We listened at the door. He’d helped on a bank raid that went wrong. There was gunfire. Several passers-by were killed. Three.” She swallowed, and her hands, resting on the table, curled into fists.
Nathan wanted so badly to hold her, but if he did, she might stop, and he had to know this. Or, rather, he knew she had to tell him. He tightened his jaw.
“Then he got a phone call, and he started shouting. “It wasn’t me! Yeah, I know, I came straight home. Of course I haven’t told anyone!” Then silence and he said, ‘Yeah, my wife, but she’s my wife, you know?’ Rossi was out of town. His deputy had run the job. So my dad asked him to call Rossi, said he’d vouch for him. He said he would.”
She took a deep breath and resolutely stared at him, as if defying him to feel sorry for her.
“About an hour later, somebody knocked hard on the door. They were shouting. The door didn’t have a window, so we couldn’t see who it was unless we used the peephole. We didn’t want to do that.”
Because people shot people through peepholes. Nathan’s blood chilled.
“My dad yelled, ‘Run!’ But instead of running, my brother and sister went into the bedroom and hid where they always did when we played hide and seek. They were younger than me, ten and eight. I was fifteen. I ran straight out the back door and into the woods behind. I climbed my fav
orite tree.”
She sped up, her voice gaining pace and pitch. “I heard a crash and shots, lots of shots, and I saw three men. Rossi followed soon after. Like the others, he had a gun. They came out the back door, looked around the garden. Then I had the longest fifteen minutes of my life. I stayed completely still, behaving more on animal instinct. They left. Silence fell, but I didn’t move. They might be waiting. I didn’t know what to do, and the thought of going inside scared me to death. I heard no screams, nothing. The police found me in the tree hours later. Honestly, I don’t remember it clearly.”
“What happened afterward?” he said, more shaken than he wanted to admit. He’d never suspected anything like this. He wanted her to stop thinking about that part. She was here and alive, and that was what mattered now. But if he told her, she’d call him callous or cruel. That wasn’t it.
Her pain radiated out to him so strongly. How would it be to hear your family shot to death and be unable to do anything about it?
“Trinity,” he said softly. “You’re not alone. Never any more.”
She nodded, swallowing. “They took me away to a hotel. I was too shaken to say or do anything, but they made all the arrangements. You see, the gunmen had left without finding me, but they could easily have found out they’d missed one person. We waited for a week until someone called my old school and asked how I was. It was a long-lost uncle, he said, and he worried about me when he read about the shooting in the papers. I didn’t have an uncle. I gave evidence in court and identified the men who’d killed my father.”
“They made you do that?” Furiously, he demanded, “Surely the police knew giving testimony would put you in their sights?”
“Yes, they did. But I refused to let the death of my parents and my brother and sister go unavenged. Some neighbors saw them drive away, but the men pulled their hoods down and took care not to let any security cameras get a good look at them. It was me or nobody. So I did it.”