He stood on the far end of my porch, deep in the shadows. I didn't know how he got there. Wasn't interested in asking.
"Kate."
Silly, stupid me. Even now, even knowing, listening to Ash admit that he had used his powers to seduce me, I couldn't stop my heart from beating faster at hearing him call for me in that deep, dark voice of his.
"I want you to listen to me. Let me explain."
Did I want to hear him? He'd already lied to me. Maybe not directly, but he had certainly seduced me with false pretenses. Why would he tell the truth now?
I shrugged under the cover. It didn't seem to matter.
Subtle as the movement was, Ash must have seen it. He stalked across the deck towards me, pulled a chair closer until it was next to mine and sat down.
I shifted my knees so we weren't touching.
Al poked his head out of the blanket and began barking. The hit man had channeled away several hours ago. The Chihuahua didn't like the demon either.
I smoothed his fur back down and waited.
"I was born a demon prince. My father was the King of Demons. The most powerful demon. Power and strength are the only things that matter in the demon realm."
Ash - excuse me - Asmodeus drew in a deep breath. His hand, resting on the arm of the chair, curled into a tight fist.
"We're ruthless. Demons will do anything to keep or gain power. And my father was the worst. He had no feelings, no desire for anything other than being King. He impregnated my mother to have an heir, but he didn't care for her."
His knuckles whitened.
"He didn't care for me. I was raised by my mother. I was created to inherit his empire in case of his death. If anything ever happened to him, his genes would still rule."
He uncurled his fist, flexed his hand.
"My mother met another demon just as I was becoming an adult. They started a relationship. My mother and my father hadn't been together since I was created but that didn't matter to him. He thought her relationship made him appear weak."
"So he killed her. I challenged him. And I killed him."
He stated the facts clearly. Black and white with no emotion.
I knew bits and pieces of this story. Not everything, as Asmodeus had kept several key factors to himself. I'd figured he had received his scars from the battle with his father. I hadn't known he'd been little more than a child when it happened.
And I wasn't sure I wanted to know anymore. Funny. He finally wanted to talk and share his secrets with me and I didn't want to listen.
"Look . . . Asmodeus." I couldn't call him Ash. "I don't see what this has to do with us. You lied to me. Clearly, no one forced you. You're the King of Demons. You chose to seduce me without telling me about your powers. Your sin."
Flames flickered to life along his shoulders and danced over his chest. He shifted his body, inhaled and the flames died out.
"All right. You're not ready to listen," he growled. "I understand. It was never my intention to hurt you, Kate. Never." His hand cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him. "I'm sorry. I know you don't believe me, but I wanted you from the moment I saw you."
My heart made a funny wrench. He was telling me things I'd always wanted to hear and now it made everything so much worse.
"You mean the first time you plotted to use your sin to seduce me."
"No." He shook his head. "I watched you for several weeks before I approached you."
He'd watched me for weeks? He really had planned everything. His lies knew no bounds. Why?
I'd felt like a target had been painted on my back the first time I saw Ash. Now I knew it definitely had been. I still didn't know the reason. I didn't want to know it. I could only take so much.
"You and Al were just coming out of your old office. Going for a walk."
I held up my hand to stop him. I didn't care. I wouldn't care.
"You picked him up." Asmodeus continued on, ignoring my silent demand to stop. "We don't have pets in the demon realm so I wasn't sure what he was at first."
I glanced at him. He was staring at Al with the oddest expression on his face. Part confusion, part annoyance and something else, something I'd almost call envy.
"You attached his leash to his collar and kissed him."
Asmodeusu glanced up, caught my eye and held it.
"You had this expression of such love on your face." He shook his head like it still baffled him. "I'd never seen that before. And I wanted it." His hand cupped my jaw. "I wanted you."
I stood abruptly, knocking away his touch. I stepped back several steps.
"You had me." I reminded him. "And you lied to me. That was your choice."
"I didn't lie to you."
I laughed at him. A choked, pained sound.
"I didn't tell you everything, but I never lied to you."
I stomped towards him. "You didn't lie? But you know what your sin does. It controls a person's desire. Twists it and changes it." I shook my head at him. "You used my own desires against me."
I couldn't trust him. Couldn't trust what I felt for him.
"Yes. I did." He said it matter-of-factly. A simple statement. Not like the actual bomb it was.
"How could you?" I wanted to scream 'why' as well, but I didn't think I had it in me to hear anymore. He was destroying me piece by piece.
"I'd do anything to have you."
Oh, Sweet Spirits. How could he? How could he say that to me?
He wasn't just going to destroy me. He was going to break me down until there was nothing left.
"I want you to go."
He had to leave. There was no way I could listen to him. I couldn't hear him say the very things that made me want him. Crave him.
I couldn't allow myself to hope.
Not now.
I was whirling, trying to find a safe landing. Something to hold onto.
And as much as I wanted it to be Ash - Asmodeus - I couldn't let that happen.
I'd lost something. The ability to trust myself.
"Please, just go."
I turned my back on him and held my breath. Hugged Al tighter to my chest.
After a minute, I looked back. He was gone.
And I was all alone.
15. Break In.
I unlocked the door to Love Required. I didn't have any clients to meet. No phone calls to make. Nothing urgent that required my attention. I rarely came in on a Sunday. Unless something came up.
Or I was trying to avoid my own apartment.
Facing issues head on totally sucked.
Not that I was truly meeting my issues face to face. I hadn't slept. Had barely eaten anything. And my mind couldn't stop racing in circles.
I was in limbo.
Caught between the pole and the ground. Upside down and backwards.
Nothing made sense.
And everything hurt.
"Ya need to eat, Doll." Al trotted forward through the front door ahead of me. I closed the door and dispersed my protection spell.
"I'm fine, Al." I'd told him that at least ten times already.
We headed into my HC office. Al immediately jumped onto my chair and then to the desk top. He sat down on his furry little haunches.
"Look, Doll. I'm sorry about Ass. I've never liked him, but I never wanted him to hurt you either."
"I'm not talking about this, Al." I scooped him up, smooched his head and set him on the floor. "I'm going to go through my files to find a match for Snake."
Basically I was going in the direct opposite direction in my attempt to confront things head on. I wasn't even attempting to face things. I'd stopped trying around 5 am.
If I didn't think, I could function. I could breathe without pain.
I'd cleaned my apartment. Twice.
Removed all traces of the party. Dropped my red shirt off at the local thrift store. Along with the new one that wouldn't fit.
Al and I had taken a five mile walk.
My legs throbbed. But I couldn't sit. Every
time I stopped moving, I started thinking. So, now we were at Love Required.
I refused to be the pathetic witch. The one people whispered about behind her back. I'd had enough of that crap in school.
I was a matchmaking witch who failed in her own love life. So what? I was cursed to fail in love. I was cursed. My entire family had been cursed.
Frankly, I should have seen this coming.
But I hadn't. Despite all the warning signs.
And looking back? There had been a lot of warning signs.
What was it they said about hindsight?
Oh, that's right. It sucked.
Maybe that's not the exact wording, but that's what they meant. It totally and utterly sucked.
I sat in my chair, pulled open a drawer and grabbed Snake's file. I was about to set it on my desk when I realized the papers I'd left out were stacked neatly and precisely in the middle of my desk.
Huh.
As much as I would like to be a thoroughly organized witch, I'm not. I tend to leave things out when I should put them away. The coffee mug on the counter, my broom in the hall and my client's files scattered on my desk.
I don't worry about security. I have my protection spells.
I looked into the open desk drawer. Everything looked okay, but . . . I opened every desk drawer. I didn't see anything completely amiss. Nothing appeared totally out of place.
Still. I couldn't shake the feeling that things were not exactly like I'd left them. The pencils and pens slightly rearranged. Notepads shifted.
Nothing drastic. In fact, I wasn't sure I would have even noticed if it weren't for the military like precision of the papers on top.
"Al, do you smell anything odd in here?"
He sniffed the desk legs, walked over to the two chairs and small table in front of my desk and sniffed those. "No." He cocked his tiny head at me. "Why? Something wrong?"
"I'm not sure." I got up and checked out the rest of my shop.
I couldn't find anything moved in my humans only office. I rarely worked in there. I used it to meet with my human clients and nothing else. All of my files were in my HC office.
The waiting room appeared undisturbed. Table and chairs in their place, even the small storage closet looked fine.
The top of Désirée Norma-Sue's desk mimicked mine. The papers rigidly organized, every pencil sharpened to a pinpoint and the telephone and stapler lined up like soldiers on parade.
I glanced down at Al. He'd followed me on my office tour. "You don't sense or smell anything out of place?"
"No. What's wrong?" He couldn't see the top of Désirée's desk. He barely cleared my ankles.
I pulled out my cell phone and pressed five on speed dial. "Hey Désirée, how are you?" I paused for a moment. "No. I don't want to talk about it."
Big Al snorted. I ignored him.
"Nothing much. I've got a quick question for you. Did you happen to come in and do a little cleaning around the office?"
I'd closed up Friday night. I didn't think Désirée Norma-Sue had come in yesterday, but she could have had apartment issues too and come in unbeknownst to me.
"I didn't think so." I paused again. "No, cleaning the office is not part of your job description. I was just looking for something and thought I'd left it on my desk."
Yes. I lied. Désirée Norma-Sue had been acting jumpy enough lately. I was not about to add to her worries.
"Okay. Sounds good. See you tomorrow." I started to disconnect, sighed. "No. I really do not want to talk about it. See you mañana."
I hung up before she could ask again.
Well, shit.
Frog warts and spider eggs.
Hell and damn.
This was not good.
"Doll?"
I picked him up. Al licked my lips.
"Someone's been in here, Al."
His little body stiffened in my arms. The fur along his neck ruffled as he growled, "Someone got passed your protection spells, broke in and didn't leave a trace or a scent?"
"Yep. And they didn't take anything either as far as I can tell."
"Fuck." Al snarled
I had to agree with him.
The last time I'd come across a being who managed to evade my spells and leave no scent or trace, he'd been a vampire assassin out to frame and kill me.
I was seriously screwed.
****
The phone started ringing as I was halfway up the stairs to my apartment.
I couldn't make a run for it. It was all I had in me to put one foot in front of the other.
In addition to our five mile walk, Al and I had walked to Love Required. I'd considered riding my spare broom home, but the break in at my shop gave me a major case of the jitters I thought I should walk off.
Now I could barely move my legs.
"Just a few more steps, Doll. You can do it."
I don't know where he got his energy. He'd taken at least ten steps to each one of mine.
In a decidedly odd and rather masochistic manner, I was almost enjoying the pain.
Not that I wasn't counting the seconds until I stepped into my apartment, trekked the hall and poured myself a glass of wine while I cast a healing spell.
I was counting the nanoseconds.
However, the pain also kept me totally distracted. My screaming thighs consumed my entire thought process, leaving no leftover space for anything else.
Maybe I should forego my healing spell?
I gained another step.
Nope. Definitely casting that spell the moment I dragged myself into my kitchen. Sweet Spirits, did I ache.
I trudged up another step. The phone quit ringing.
"Almost there, Doll. Five more steps."
The heck with it. I didn't know what I was trying to prove.
I leaned against the wall and cast my healing spell.
"Oh my sweet, sweet bliss." I bent - smoothly and comfortably - over, picked up Al and nuzzled his neck. "Thanks, Al. I wasn't sure I would make it."
He licked my cheek. "I gotta tell ya, Doll, I wasn't sure either."
It's rather demoralizing when your Chihuahua is in better shape than you are.
My cell phone began to ring. Something was not right.
"Hey Aunt Tabs, what's wrong?"
"I was just about to ask you the same thing."
There was no way she could know about the break in. And I certainly didn't plan to worry her.
"What do you mean?"
"I've got that itchy feeling again. Where are you?"
Silly as it was, I double checked the stairway. Tested my protection spells.
"I'm home." I hugged Al close and hustled up the last few steps. Once inside, I re-set my protection spells. "I'm safe."
"I don't like this, dear. I think you should come stay with me."
There was no way I'd risk bringing danger to my Aunt's door.
"I'm good. I've cast my spells. I'm not planning on going anywhere. I'm safe. Please don't worry about me."
"Is Ash coming over? I'd feel better if he was there."
Just the sound of his name made my chest ache. Destroyed whatever pretense of normalcy I'd fooled myself into believing.
"No." I cleared my throat. "No, he isn't coming over."
I racked my brain for something else to say, to reassure her with, but I was caught in a whirlpool of pain.
"Maybe I should come over there then."
"No!" I took a deep breath, reeled myself back in. "No. It's okay, Aunt Tabs. I'm fine. I'll call you if anything comes up, but I'm fine." I was a big fat liar. That's what I was. "I'm going to watch a movie, have a quiet night in. Really, there's no need to worry at all."
"Promise you'll call if anything happens?"
"Cross my heart."
"Be careful, Kate. I love you."
The lump in my chest moved to my throat. "I love you too, Aunt Tabs."
Spirits, I hated lying to her. I refused to risk anything happening to her either. If I was tr
uly in some sort of danger, I'd stay away from my Aunt until it passed.
Speaking of danger - I gathered my magic and cast it out, searching every inch of my apartment. Then I walked through every room.
I'd lied in more ways than one to my aunt. I could cast as many protective spells as I could think of, but they wouldn't do me a bit of good against an unknown enemy who could break those spells and leave no trace.
Once I was positive I had nothing to fear in my own apartment, I pulled out a leftover meatball and warmed it up for Al.
He rubbed against my ankle. "Ya gotta eat something, Doll."
"I will. Don't worry."
Great. I might as well stop talking if all I planned to do was lie to everyone I cared about.
The hit-man channeled away sometime during his dinner.
I gathered Al, a large glass of wine and found a comfortable spot on my new couch and turned on the TV.
Ash had sat in the exact same spot just a few nights ago.
I shifted over.
Morgan texted me. I ignored it. And the next few from Drake, Désirée and Phil. I turned off my phone when Aunt Tabs started in.
I couldn't pretend anymore. Not even to myself.
And I still couldn't cry.
I sat there, staring at the screen, not seeing or hearing anything. Trying desperately not to think or feel.
When that didn't work, I concentrated on my breathing. In and out. In and out. In. And. Out.
I could do this.
I would find a way to be happy without Ash in my life.
16. More Secrets.
An hour later I turned my phone back on.
I couldn't take the breathing anymore. Not that I had any intention of stopping, I simply needed something else to concentrate on.
Plus, I knew if I didn't respond to the text messages, I'd wind up with company on my doorstep.
My phone started ringing the moment I turned it on. I checked the caller ID and frowned.
"Hey, Snake, what's going on?"
I loved eager clients, but I still needed to find him a proper match. His paperwork was now part of an extremely neat and rather scary pile on my desk. Which sent shivers up and down my spine every time I thought of it. I hadn't made any decisions in regards to his next date, I'd fled.
"Hey, Kate. You happen to know where Désirée is?"
Demons Don't Always Tell The Truth (Kate Storm Series Book 3) Page 9