Shooting him a glare, she turned back to me. “That was for the first five months of the pregnancy because I had bad cravings. I also couldn’t stand the shape of fries, so I went for mashed potato, which is healthier anyway.”
“You added half a stick of butter to them, baby, and then topped them with a shit ton of grated cheese.”
“Both of which are dairy products and good for you,” she snapped.
Looking over at Rose, I caught her licking her lips at the food discussion. Yeah, someone was going home to make cheesy mashed potatoes later.
“I could totally go for creamed potatoes with cheese on top,” she sighed. “I’d put them on top of cake and then sprinkle crushed chips on top of it.”
Dave looked like he wanted to puke, but I was thinking that wasn’t such a bad recipe.
Then the perfect cake hit me. “Oh, what about one of those birthday cakes from Walmart? You know, with the frosting you can never make at home on it, little sprinkles, and…” I trailed off, imagining the taste of it like I was actually eating it.
Shaking his head with a sigh, Dave turned from awesome into demi-god for me. “Okay, fireball, you drive them to Walmart so they can get their nasty shit. We’ll continue getting the house ready.”
I felt guilty about leaving them to do all the hard work, I really did, but at the same time, I wanted that cake and potato deliciousness.
Heaving herself off the couch, Rose grinned excitedly at the two of us. “Take your pain pills before we go, Zuri, and I’ll go to the bathroom. And make sure you take the full dose and not just Tylenol like you did this morning.”
“But you just went twenty minutes ago,” Tabby called after her as she headed over to where all of our purses were sitting on the top of the counter in the kitchen.
“I’ve got two massive turkeys in my womb that don’t care where they spread their wings, Tabitha,” Rose shouted. “And my bladder is now the size of a raisin. Don’t you bladder shame me.”
Deciding to dry swallow the pills—sadly forgetting about how I’d reacted to them the night before in the cake-potato excitement I had going on—I almost choked when they got stuck in my throat.
Now I had one of those awkward pill lumps going on that wasn’t painful, but it was weird, so I nabbed what was left of my cup of coffee and almost puked when I realized it was cold as I drank it down.
Yeah, I hated cold coffee, and those iced drinks should be banned. Who in their right mind drank coffee milkshakes?
“Your wife’s a drama queen,” Tabby snickered to Raoul, who’d joined us at the entrance to the kitchen now.
“Don’t I know it,” he whispered, checking around us for something. “She made me leave our bedroom at three o’clock this morning because she needed to fart. Apparently, being pregnant makes it worse, and she couldn’t do it while I was there.”
“She made you leave the bedroom in the middle of the night so she could toot?” Tabby asked, saying the words slowly. “I’ve got to say, I can’t do it in front of Dave, but I don’t think I’d have made him leave the room while I was pregnant with Sheena.”
Leaning in closer to us, he whispered again, “She needed to pee badly, too, so she said she was afraid that if she let one go, the other one would follow. I offered to help her to the bathroom, but she said no because the two were blocking the movement of each other, and adding gravity in would cause an accident.”
In a way, this made sense to me. “So, it’s like when you’ve got air in the pipe to a faucet? You get like water spraying everywhere or a huge noisy delay when you turn the tap on.”
Nodding at me, he continued, “Yeah, if you were to take the faucet off so it was just the pipe, the air would come out, but the water would spray everywhere with it.”
Groaning, Tabby pinched the bridge of her nose. “Can we just get to the point? Did she pee-pee the bed, yes or no?”
“No, I did not make sissy on the bed,” Rose snapped, appearing from behind her husband. “I did a delicate toot,”—Raoul snorted and looked at her in disbelief—“and got up to make tinkle in the appropriate receptacle.”
More facts spewed out of me before I could stop them. “The human body produces two liters—or seventy fluid ounces—of urine a day on average. If your bladder was the size of a raisin, you’d need to sit on a toilet all day long because it would fill up every thirty seconds.”
Joining us, Garrett leaned one hip against the counter beside me. “Where do you get all of this information from, pretty girl?”
“Technically, it finds me. I open up the internet, and boom, useless facts. But the urine thing was something my biology teacher told us about one day. Unfortunately, he did it as he slowly poured seventy fluid ounces of water into a big beaker while I was praying for my own bladder not to explode. That’s probably why I remember it.”
There was silence, but then Raoul asked, “How much urine can the average bladder hold?”
Seeing as how I’d almost peed my pants during my biology teacher’s show and tell, this was another thing I remembered him saying. “About sixteen ounces.”
“I once went twenty-six hours without peeing,” Tabby announced proudly. “It was while I was moving here, and I didn’t trust any of the rest stops. I don’t need some dude sticking his dick through a glory hole while I’m trying to pee.” Unfortunately, everyone had stopped working just as she said this, so they all heard her. Looking around the room with her eyebrows raised, she asked, “What?”
“Are we getting cake and creamed potatoes or not?” Rose suddenly snapped, throwing her arms in the air.
“I call them mashed potatoes, but sure,” Tabby shrugged, pointing toward the door.
Following slowly behind them, I winced when I felt a slight sluggish feeling starting to take over my body. The painkillers were kicking in, which meant I was either going to start talking like a dickhead, eating everything in sight, or both of those things if I was unlucky.
And I was headed to the store where I’d be surrounded by people and food.
Fucking hell!
Standing back, Rose tapped her fingernail on the counter as we both looked down at our bowls. “What about if we added salsa on top of it?”
“Pfffbt, amateur,” I scoffed, heading back to the fridge. “Salsa’s too harsh for that. It’ll clash with the cake and icing. You want something more gentle, like guacamole.”
Her eyes dropped to the huge tub in my hand that we’d picked up from the sweet family who made fresh Mexican produce in town.
Their salsa was so spicy it melted your tastebuds, but lord, it was amazing. And their tortillas were soft and didn’t get stuck in your throat like a lot of the shop-bought ones did back home. Their spices were also like nothing I’d ever tasted. And don’t even get me started on their hard taco shells.
Basically, everything they did was heaven.
I’d bought all of it on the way home, but the guacamole was the thing of food cravings dreams. Smooth but chunky, huge amounts of fresh cilantro, chunks of tomato, fresh jalapenos, and tons of lime. But what made it even better was their family secret—tomatillos that’d been soaked in lime, diced, and added into it. I don’t know how, but it just made it freaking fantastic. Maybe that was normal? Hell if I knew, I could never make it right no matter what I tried.
Nodding her head crazily, Rose gestured at me to hurry up. The others had finished what they were doing and were watching us with disgusted looks on their faces.
Well, most of them did. The others had covered their mouths with their hands, so we couldn’t see their exact expressions.
“Oh, get the chili tortilla chips that we picked up,” Rose snapped her fingers. “We’ll crush some on top.”
The others groaned, but I thought it over, eventually shaking my head and getting a sigh of relief out of them all.
“Negative on that one, chick. You see,” I launched into munchy cuisine professor mode, “that would be like adding the salsa. We have delicate flavors in these bowls.
The soft sweetness of the sheet cake, the fluffy, almost meringue-like texture of the sweet Happy Birthday icing, the buttery heaven of the mashed potatoes, and now the slight chili heat of the guacamole—”
Garrett frowned as he looked down at the tub the guacamole was in. “I don’t think that’s the milder—”
“To add the chili tortilla chips on top would break up the lightness,” I continued, still totally focused on the gourmet cuisine.
Nodding slowly, Rose chewed her lower lip while she listened. “Okay, so what do you suggest.”
I would’ve crossed my arms over my chest, but my back and arm were starting to hurt again. Something which Garrett had noticed a couple of minutes ago and made me take another dose of the medication.
“Its simplicity will astound you,” I warned her. “Plain salted chips.”
There were some gagging noises from the others, but Rose clapped her hands together excitedly. “You’re a genius.”
So that’s what we did. We crushed some on top and then stuck a spoon in and got a big scoop out of the bowl.
The first mouthful was always the one that was the worry. Had you got the ratio right? Were the flavors complementary? Would you puke? Did it need some pepper?
Rose tipped her head back and groaned. “Oh my God, this is just… There are no words.”
Yup, which was why I wasn’t talking at all. If I did that, I’d have to stop eating.
“I don’t get it?” Bond said loudly, watching us with a frown. “I get that Rose is pregnant—”
“Ya think?” Canon snorted, yelping when a smacking noise followed it. “I was just saying that it was obvious she’s pregnant.”
Glaring at his brother, Bond continued, “So I get why she’s eating weird shit. But why is Zuri eating it?”
“The painkillers,” Garrett sighed, his upper lip curling up when I shoved the next mouthful in. “She said last night that they give her the munchies.”
“Imagine what she’d be like if she smoked weed,” Reid chuckled, taking a step back when all of the members of Piersville Police Department turned to look at him. “Like the medical-grade shit—it’s legal, isn’t it? Who’d ever smoke the non-medical stuff? Drugs kill, y’all.”
Even high as a kite, I didn’t believe him on that. So when Dave pointed at his eyes and then back at Reid, I made a noise of agreement and almost choked on the food in my mouth. This meant that the chili’s in the guacamole did something in my throat, and it was like a small fire started.
Then, the weirdest sensation started to take over. It was like my limbs were turning to jelly as every bone melted, leaving only the burning in that one location. My brain decided to join the mushy feeling, just as my bowl hit the countertop.
“Whoa, shit, what’s happening to her?” Jarrod asked, moving to catch me, but Garrett got there first and carefully held me against him.
“She didn’t take the prescribed dose of the meds this morning,” Rose murmured as she sucked potato and frosting off her finger. “She was still in a lot of pain while we were out but was trying to hide it, so I told Garrett to make sure he gave her the next one bang on time.”
Raoul walked over and looked at Rose’s bowl with a sneer. “You about done with that shit?”
When she nodded, he looked at his brother. “You can’t carry her with your shoulder, so I’ll get her settled before we go.”
There was a pause, then, just as I was trying to get the spoon to my mouth because I wasn’t a quitter, the world tilted, and I was moving through the air. Legit, flying through the air.
And what did superheroes do when they flew? They stuck an arm out—so that’s what I did. Except, because this was a new power, I wasn’t sure if I was meant to kick my legs to go faster or how to change direction, so I decided to test it by doing what I did when I was swimming.
“Please tell me you’re recording this,” I heard Ellis snicker.
“Yup!”
“I’ve got it, too.”
“Like I wouldn’t.”
It was a relief to know I’d have proof of my superpowers when I told everyone about them.
And then my magic ran out because I was lowering myself down onto my bed. I guess it was a good place for it to happen.
Big hands rolled me onto my side, and then something soft was pressed carefully against my spine. “Thanks, man. You good to let everyone out?”
“Yeah… Uh, Garrett, are you seriously piling pillows and cushions around her like a baby?”
There was silence as more things were moved behind me, and then my heavy flying arm was lifted and put on something. I wanted to say thank you, but my trip had exhausted me.
“I don’t want her to roll off the bed and hurt her back more or her other arm. It worked last night, but I also had to swaddle her with a sheet and tie it to the bedpost.”
“You swaddled her?”
“It was the only way. She was like a fucking hurricane, thrashing everywhere, and I didn’t want her to hurt her back. I’ll teach you before the twins arrive, it’s pretty easy.”
“What’s stopping her from rolling forward?”
“Me.”
Whatever else the voices in my head had to say was lost on me, though, because I fell asleep mid-plan for future flying adventures.
Movement woke me up. For some reason, I was shifting across the mattress toward the other side of the bed.
“Sorry, pretty girl. If I lie on my bad shoulder, it hurts like a bitch, so we’re swapping sides so I can keep an eye on you.”
I would’ve asked who was there and thank him for calling me pretty, but I was focused on something beside me. It looked like a glass jellyfish covered by a dome, and every time I blinked, a flash of light would appear in a different tentacle.
Blink—light flash.
Blink again—light flash.
It was the coolest thing I’d ever seen.
I was communicating with jellyfish like I was their queen.
Coolest shit ever.
Chapter Five
Garrett
It’d been five days since the accident, and I’d been on desk duty since while my shoulder healed. I was bored out of my tiny little brain.
Homelife was now a new adventure that I enjoyed a helluva lot, though, with Zuri and me swapping nights between my house and hers and just getting to spend time with her relaxing.
Every time she winced or groaned in pain, I felt guilt of unimaginable levels even though she told me to “cut that shit out” and that accidents happened.
The morning after we’d unpacked her, she’d woken up and immediately started talking about a dream she’d had about how she could talk to jellyfish now and how it was like in the movie Abyss. When I’d picked up the glass jellyfish I’d had made for her, which had lights that pulsed in each tentacle randomly, she’d thought it was awesome and made more sense than some sort of Close Encounter type thing with them.
Then she’d taken it out of the display box, turned it upside down, and spent a good twenty minutes trying to find its butt holes.
She’d also put the hoop with the jellyfish charm in her ear, and so far, it hadn’t got caught on anything. I didn’t understand that, but she seemed relieved about it, so that was good.
They were supposed to be kind of meaningful joke-type presents, but the way she stared at both of them made me feel like I’d hit the nail on the head big time.
I’d developed some new skills over the last five days, too. I could now wash a woman’s hair over the side of a bath, spray shit in it that stopped it from getting knots, brush it without making her scream, and put it in a ponytail.
See, Zuri couldn’t use her left hand to do anything, so she swore a lot instead of asking for help. That’s how the brushing and ponytail things had been added to me washing her hair.
Last night, I’d come home early just in time to hear her yelling from the bathroom. I’d panicked, thinking she’d fallen or something, but when I’d gotten to the door, I discovered that
the reason for it was because she had to wipe herself with the wrong hand. When she’d opened the door and seen me leaning against the wall waiting for her, she’d turned bright red and threatened me with pain if I ever told anyone.
I hadn’t… yet. I’d made sure she knew I wasn’t helping her with that issue, though.
“Meeting,” DB yelled, then walked over to the door that led to the back of the station.
Getting up, I followed him, hearing the others doing the same behind me. We’d known there was a meeting happening today, but he’d kept quiet on what it was about, so I was intrigued.
Opening the door to the hallway, he motioned for us to go through while he held it open.
Stopping about ten feet in, I waited for him to close the door and join us.
“Okay, I know this is strange, but with shit going on just now, I wanted us to discuss how Piersville Police Department operates. You’ll think you know all of it anyway, but this is important for me, you, and the rest of the town to know,” he told us as he moved over to the door to the first conference room.
Walking in behind him, we all sat down at the table and waited. “As you know, we’ve expanded the building. With the increase in the population and size of Piersville, we have to keep up and have enough facilities available just in case,” he said, looking at us all one by one. “We also have an official dedicated safe room now.”
I knew that citizens had come to DB to sit securely in one of the cells on some occasions, but hearing one was dedicated to them?
“Uh,” one of the newer guys, Carter, murmured. “A dedicated safe room? What for?”
Resting his ass on the corner of the table at the top of the room, DB looked at us all with a grim expression. “As you know, Jarrod Klein was attacked last year by a man who was beating his woman in a bar. Jarrod came here to remove himself from the situation after the asshole expressed his intent to ‘hunt him down,’ making it easier for us to catch him with less threat to people around. This isn’t the first time this has happened. We also had some people try to attack Lars and Tony.”
Just Good Friends (Cheap Thrills Series Book 5) Page 5