Beautifully Toxic (Toxic Love #1)

by L. M. Roberts

  Shit just got even more fucked up than what it already was. I knew I should have just gotten back into my mom’s car. Hell, I shouldn’t have gotten out of it in the first place. I was just a glutton for punishment when I did that. I should have just let my dad take care of him. I knew my dad would do that for me. He and Mom finally know who Triple-A’s father is. So to say that he wasn’t Alex’s biggest fan would be an understatement. I think it would be fair to say he probably wouldn’t mind Alex’s head on a stick.

  So why was I putting myself in the line of fire? Is it because I’m stupid or because I like the lick of the flames being around Alex causes? Either way, I’m fucked.

  Chapter Twelve

  Alex

  The only thing I want to do right now is toss her over my shoulder and run off to the bedroom. The woman makes me that crazy. Her little shy act in the car almost had me to the point of bursting in my pants. It’s as if she doesn’t realize just how beautiful she is. In some ways, I find that highly unlikely that she doesn’t know, but the more I study her, I believe she really may not know. We’ve only been here for a little over half an hour, and I’m already about to lose the last shred of control that I have.

  I have these vivid images flashing around in my mind. It’s like a damn movie going over and over in my head and I can’t get them to go away. Some images have me pushing her up against the wall and taking her hard, while others have me laying her down on the sofa and getting lost in the paradise between her legs with my tongue. Considering that our little escapade was fourteen years ago, I was jonesing for what Sin was packing.

  My knee starts bouncing like a fucking addict going through withdrawal. All that’s missing is the white dust beneath my nose—prime evidence of an addict. I’ve tried the inhale and exhale bullshit, but that just isn’t working. I can almost taste her on my tongue and my body is fighting with my mind for more; it’s always fucking wanting more.

  Instead of thinking how I can get her to my room to fuck her, I need to find out who Triple-A is. I know she thinks that I have forgotten all about her little slip up, but she couldn’t be more wrong. I am just waiting for the right time to hit her with the question. The best way to do that would be when I am between her legs. No woman can resist answering anything I ask when I’m down there paying homage to the paradise between their spread thighs. It’s like they have word vomit and all their deepest darkest secrets comes to the forefront.

  The only thing that gets under my skin is when she talks about other men—like this Triple-A asshole. I see red every time I think about that man’s hands on Sin. It’s not something that I can stop or control. I have a fierce need to protect her, and by God, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I don’t care who I have to go through or what I have to do, no one will get to Sin as long as I’m around. Except for me, of course. The only person I want caressing that goddess-like body is me.

  I get up from my spot at the bar and make my way over to the fort she’s made next to the fireplace. Yes, a cute-as-fuck furniture fort. You would never think by her name that she was this fucking sweet, but she is. I didn’t know why she made it when we came here, but she only just finished it a few minutes ago. I knew that she needed to work through whatever it was she needed to, so I just let her be and went to the kitchen for a beer. When I came back, I saw this monstrosity of a mess in my living room. To be honest, I was shocked more than I was mad that she put together such a sound fort in the short amount of time I’d been gone.

  I chuckle as I ring the little bell she has sitting on the table outside. I stand there and wait for her to answer her little door, all the while thinking how absurd this all is. I want her to work through her problems, but this fort is kind of like bottling it all up. I know how a person can get if they keep their feelings bottled up all the time. They go stir crazy and freak out over almost anything. I didn’t want that to happen to her. I want her to be able to talk to me, even if I was the last person she wants to talk to.

  “Sin,” I call out, ringing the bell again, “this fort isn’t no boys allowed, is it?”

  I hear her snicker from inside and I can’t help the smile that comes to my face. Her response has to be a good sign.

  “Yoo-hoo, can I come in?” I ask, tapping on the makeshift door, which is actually my coffee table.

  I swear this whole thing makes me feel like I’m eight years old again.

  I wait and wait, thinking about moving the coffee table and going in anyway when a small voice calls out.

  “No peckers allowed.”

  I chuckle. “Not even mine?”

  “Especially yours, Pierce.” She giggles.

  I cock an eyebrow at that and move forward to slide the table out of the way. When my fingers grip the edges of it, I feel teeth a second later latch onto my pointer finger. I jerk back like something bit me… Hell, she did bite me. I stared down at the table and then asked a blatantly ignorant question.

  “Did you just bite me?”

  “Yup,” she snickers. “I do believe I said no peckers allowed.”

  I grunt when she says that and just decide to sit down on the outside of the fort. I needed to get her talking. Even through all of this fort business, I’m still as hard as a rock. The sooner I get her to come out of it, the better.

  “You wanna talk?” I get a grunt in reply to my question. “It’ll make you feel better, I promise.” I try coaxing her out with a little light banter.

  I sat there in silence, waiting for her to talk first. I don’t care how long I have to sit here, but I’ve already got it in my mind that she will talk before this night is over. I hate seeing her like this when her typical personality screams fierce bitch. It also makes me wonder how she dealt with my move all those years ago. Her dad said she’d taken it terribly, but could I really believe him?

  I was just about to ask her something when her voice comes out soft and muffled through the pillows. “Pierce?”

  “What?” I automatically respond.

  “Have you ever loved someone so much that you felt as if you couldn’t go on anymore; like when they went away a piece of you died right along with them?”

  I gulp, trying to swallow past the lump that has formed in my throat. Damn, just those two sentences cut me to the quick. She sounds so torn and lost. What the hell am I supposed to do? I’m not good with talking about my feelings and it seems that’s exactly what she wants to do. The only person that got me was Tank. How do I explain to Sin that when I moved away it was like taking a knife to my heart and carving the son of a bitch out of my chest? I knew that Sin was all about honesty, so that’s the route I chose to go.

  “Sin, you have no idea…” I put my head in my hands. “I live with regrets every single day of my life by giving up the person I felt strongly for. I don’t know if I loved her, but if that’s what love is, then that’s too light of a word to use.” I sigh. “I guess if I had to explain it, I would say that the girl I feel… or felt strongly for, owns me. She is my beginning, middle, and end. There is no way that I will ever forget her and no way that I will ever get over her.”

  I glance up at the sound of the coffee table moving and see her warm gray eyes staring at me a second later. “You’ve loved before?” Her tiny voice ends on a squeak.

  I nod. “I guess you can say that,” I smile slightly. “But love truly is a blasphemous word for what I feel… I mean, felt.”

  She regards me with confusion etching her eyes. “Felt? Do you not still feel that way?”

  I scoot back until I am flush against the only piece of furniture left after her fort building and shrug my shoulders. “To be honest, Sin, I don’t know how I feel. She keeps herself so bottled up that there’s no way to get through to her.”

  I stand up when the tension becomes too much to handle. I take one last glance at her before I start walking toward the kitchen. Talking about my feelings is something that I just don’t do. It’ll be hard to explain that to her. Just before leaving the living room I hear her
call out.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To get another beer,” I toss the words over my shoulder.

  And to get away from this fucked-up conversation. I’m not good with this shit, never have been. Hell, I still have a hard time talking to Tank about this kind of stuff. Even though I’m glad after I get it off my chest, it’s still a bitch to get to that point. I only had myself to rely on for so many years when I was younger, and I rely on myself to this day. It’s great to have friends, but it’s so fucked up when you’re so closed off that you can’t share anything with them.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sinclair

  Well, that wasn’t weird at all…

  I watch after Alex until he rounds the corner, heading into the kitchen. It wasn’t my intention to get a serious conversation going. The only thing I wanted to do was to distract myself from my fucked up life. Being in the same house with a man that you want to climb like a fucking spider monkey is not exactly a walk in the park. Plus, I was almost killed by a damn bird earlier.

  I sit there for a minute and figure that it’s time to clean up my mess. I’ve found that no matter what you face in life, if you get knocked down, you’ve got to get back up swinging. That’s what I was taught, and it’s the way I’ve lived since I was sixteen. I’m a female tattoo artist in a male dominated profession—you sink or you swim.

  I move the coffee table the rest of the way out and stand up. I stretch, feeling the sweet ache in my muscles after sitting cross-legged on the floor for so long. I had my arms over my head and my back arched at an angle when Alex came walking back into the room. I hear a groan and look to see that he is staring at me with hooded eyes. I swallow hard before letting my arms fall down to my side.

  Seeing the lust in Alex’s eyes coaxed the fire in my body to a new high. I had tried to shrug it off that my body was just calling for a man—any man. But I was wrong; my body called to only one person, and that person was Alex. It’s always been Alex. Goosebumps instantly popped up on my arms and I rubbed them as if to fight off the cold. A knowing smirk comes across his face, and he starts making his way toward me.

  “A little cold, Sin,” he seduces, setting his drink down on the end table.

  I shiver as his words wash over me. To anyone who might have observe us, they’d think I was freezing, but that was not the case. I was so turned on to this man and I had myself convinced since he was the only man here that he’d have to do.

  “No, I’m not cold at all,” I shot back at him.

  The electricity between us is palpable; it feels like a live electric circuit pressed against my skin. I’ve never felt this before with any man, but Alex was not just anyone. He’s the man I’ve been lusting for since I was fourteen fucking years old. Would it be terrible if I just reach out and take what I want? Would he try to fight what was between us—what I can feel between us?

  He comes to a stop inches from me and lifts his hand to my cheek. My eyes automatically close and I lean into his touch, like some wanton harlot in heat. Yes, I was mad at him before when he made me come to his house, but now I was glad for it.

  My lips part on a sigh, “Where’s the bedroom?” and I hear Alex inhale sharply.

  Did I really just say that? Seriously? My God he’s going to think I’m a whore or something.

  I hear him snicker and I open my eyes. I look up at him to see that he has the widest smile I believe that I’ve ever seen on him. I lean into him, and he closes his eyes and groans. My senses are filled with an undeniable desire for this man. The only part of us that is touching is our chests and his hand against my cheek, but I need more. Lifting my hands, I wrap them around his neck and pull his face down to mine. Our lips wisp across each other’s and a tiny whimper escapes my throat.

  I know there are things that we need to talk about, but at this point the wanton need I feel toward Alex trumps any other thoughts of discussion—necessary or otherwise. Quite frankly, I couldn’t care less. I want Alex—I want him with every breath in my body. I deepen the kiss and I’m rewarded when I feel his hands slip down to wrap around my waist. Being this close to him feels so good, and I never want to leave. I feel safe, loved, and cherished; in fact, it’s the first time, in as long as I can remember, ever feeling this safe with anyone other than my dad.

  I begin to tremble as a result of feeling him thicken against my stomach. He bends low, slides his hands under my ass, and then proceeds to lift me in the air, pulling me firmly against his chest—never once breaking our kiss. His hands tighten on my backside and I whimper into his mouth. His tongue is expertly tangling with mine and I feel my hold on his neck getting tighter as I fist his hair in my hands.

  His grip slides down and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. I cry out into his mouth when the apex of my thighs come in contact with his manhood; his very hard, long manhood. His tongue silences my cries as he begins walking toward the hallway. I see nothing around me as my back comes into contact with a door and he lets go with one hand to open it, kicking it the rest of the way open with his foot. I marvel at the vast amount of strength he seems to possess and can’t wait until he finally uses that strength to take me.

  I want him—all of him. I don’t want to be the woman who stands in the shadows anymore; I want to be his woman. One time with him was never enough—I should have known that. I want to be his only one. I thought that I had jonesed after him before, but that was nothing compared to what I feel coursing through my body now. The need I have for him is powerful, to say the least.

  He comes to a stop and slowly sits me down on the edge of the mattress. I reluctantly break away from him, but I’m soon rewarded with the sight of him grabbing his shirt by the collar and dragging it over his head. The breath in my lungs whooshes out of me and I’m struck speechless by the man standing before me with two silver rings dangling from his manly nipples and the tattoos curling around his muscles. I salivate at the sight, wondering what other surprises are in store. Damn, he looks even better than I remember.

  A cocky smirk falls over his lips. “Like what you see?” he asks in a deep, lust-filled tone that has me aching all the way down to my feet.

  I nod because that’s the only thing I can do. It seems as if my words died in my throat and I’m not able to voice my obvious love for the piece of perfection standing in front of me. I reach for the hem of my shirt and begin to slowly drag it up my body. My breasts are almost on full display until a hand stops me in my tracks. I look up to see Alex staring down at me, licking his lips with approval. He shakes his head just briefly and I immediately let the shit fall from my hands and resume its place covering me.

  “So, I’m supposed to stay dressed while you’re the one stripping?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow, allowing a laugh to bubble in his throat.

  “No, I want the honor of unveiling that sinful body,” he sizzles. “You’ve seen that body every single fucking day. You have been the one to touch it. You have been the one to caress it.” He pauses and with a wink before he continues. “I want to be the one to own it.”

  I shiver from his intense gaze and lie back on the bed. Putting my hands behind my head, I see his eyes start roaming over my body. I lift first one foot and then the other, beckoning him to remove the heels on my feet. He reaches forward and takes my ankle in his hand. Leaning forward, he kisses the top of my foot as he removes the straps holding the heels on my feet. I moan and close my eyes when I feel his teeth nipping at my skin. When his hand removes my shoe and starts lightly touching my leg through my jeans, I gasp at the sensation.

  “My God,” I force out when his teeth nip at the arch of my foot.

  He chuckles before resuming his delicious torment. “This is only the beginning, Sin. Just wait for the finale.”

  I close my eyes and lift my arms above my head, arching my back off the bed when he hits another sweet spot. Damn, it’s like he knows my body better than I do. How is that possible? I know that he’s been with countless women, but he still s
houldn’t be able to get this kind of reaction out of me. Out of all the men that I have been with over the years—and there weren’t a lot—no one but Alex had been able to bring me to climax. He knew his way around a woman’s body, and I was very glad for that.

  I was roused from my thoughts when I felt my legs being spread open. I look down to see that Alex was between them and his eyes were trained on me. He gives me a wink before lifting his hand to the button on my pants. Snapping it open with one hand, it made me stop and wonder what else he could do with his nimble fingers. I sigh when I see images of him slowly letting his fingers slide across my wetness and stay on my bundle of nerves. I imagine him swirling his fingers, rotating between light pinches and soft caresses. I visibly shudder and hear a chuckle echo off the pale green walls.

  I open my eyes to see him still kneeling between my spread thighs. Except now he’s wearing a shit eating grin. I roll my eyes and start to get up. Like a viper strikes his prey, he’s on me. I fall back on the bed and stare up into his hazel eyes, shining a bit greener now. They twinkle with excitement as he licks his lips and I catch a quick peek of his tongue ring. I can’t seem to get the earlier image out of my mind and I shudder again.

  He’s barely touched me and I’m already so close to bursting. He grins down at me before opening his mouth and spouting the cockiest line I believe I’ve ever heard.

  “I know I’m good, but damn, I didn’t know I was that good,” he jokes, leaning in to give me a kiss on the nose.

  Bastard.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Alex

  Now that’s what I’m talking about.

  I’ve barely touched her and her body is already humming so hard she’s about to come. Hell yes! I know saying what I did was a cocky move on my part, but damn, it makes a man feel good about himself if the woman in his arms is about to climax just from foreplay. Watching her writhe on my bed as I was kissing and nibbling the soles of her feet was erotic as hell. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but I have other plans for her. First, and most important, getting her out of her clothes and my cock inside her tight pussy.