One True Thing

by Lynne Jaymes

  I don’t look over at the video cameras because I know if I do I might change my mind. “That’s all I’ve been thinking about. I have to go.”

  “Seriously? Do you not remember what her grandfather said to you? Because I do—I could give you a recap if you need me to. He’s a racist and he hates you.”

  I clench my hands. I’m just wasting time. “I’m not going there for Gramps. I’m going for Jenna.”

  Mitch puts the bat back on his shoulder. “No way, man. I’m not going to let you do this. Pull your shit together—Jenna will be fine. Go see her after.”

  But I know that if I wait too long, Gramps could die. And I won’t be there for her, and that would be unforgivable. “Fine,” I say. I have to pretend to agree with Mitch to get what I want. “But let me have your truck after?”

  He looks relieved. “Totally. Now get your crap on and get out there.”

  “I will.” I pretend to rummage in my bag for my batting gloves while Mitch steps to the plate. I watch him until I see that he’s focused on Coach and then unzip the front of his bag—the keys are right where I knew they’d be. I put them in my pocket along with my wallet and slip back into the locker room.

  “Where are you going?” Rowan asks as I bump straight into him in the doorway.

  “Uh…bathroom,” I say, pushing past him.

  But Rowan’s too quick for me and grabs my arm. “Seriously. Where are you going?”

  I shake him off, but he doesn’t back down. “To Abilene.”

  Rowan shakes his head and looks at me. “You’re really going to fuck all of this up just for Jenna?”

  I meet his gaze. “Yes I am.” I wave my arm in the direction of the stadium. “What if I do get scouted today? What if I do get the call and there’s nobody to share it with? None of this means shit without her,” I say, realizing as the words come out of my mouth that I mean every one of them. “Jenna needs me and there’s no way in hell I can choose baseball over her. For once in my fucking life I have to do the right thing, I have to pick the thing that’s most important and right now that’s being with Jenna.”

  “What if she doesn’t want you there?”

  I pause. I hadn’t thought of that. “Then at least I’ll have tried. I’ll be able to look back with no regrets.”

  Rowan doesn’t say anything for a long second. Then, without a word, he flattens himself against the doorway and lets me pass.

  “Thanks, man!” I say, swatting him on the shoulder. “Tell Coach there was an emergency.”

  “I never even saw you!” he calls to me as I race through the locker room and out the front door. There are a few people in the parking lot as I look for Mitch’s truck, but I don’t even stop until I have the key in the lock and slide into the driver’s seat.

  The ride to Abilene is a blur—I can’t even think about what I’m doing or I’ll lose my nerve. I just listen to the country station that Mitch has programmed on his radio that matches the annoying tiny cowboy boots that hang from his rearview mirror and watch the blur of the green hills pass by as the sun starts to set behind me. The sky is streaked with orange when I pull into the hospital lot and park the truck. My phone’s been buzzing, but I glance at Mitch’s name on the display and shut it off.

  “I’m looking for Jed Taylor,” I say to the security guard at the front desk. She looks me over and I realize I’m still wearing my uniform.

  She types something into the computer and then looks up at me. For a split second I get a cold rush of fear that I have the wrong place.

  “Are you family?”

  “Yes,” I say, relief flooding through my body. I’m prepared to go into a long explanation, but she just hands me a visitor’s badge.

  “Fill out your name and wear it at all times.”

  I exhale. If she’s letting me go he must still be alive.

  “You want to take that elevator over there up to the fourth floor,” she continues. “Even so, they’re not going to let you past the waiting room in ICU.”

  “That’s fine,” I say, attaching the badge to my jersey. “Thank you.”

  There are a few other people waiting for the elevator, every one of them with flowers or a gift in their hands like they’re on their way to a dinner party. I’m sure every one of these people was invited here and I get the first feelings of dread in my stomach. What if Rowan’s right and Jenna doesn’t want to see me? What if all this is for nothing?

  The elevator opens and we all pack inside. My heart is pounding as I press number four. What the fuck am I doing here? Did I really think this could help? I can only imagine the look on Coach’s face when he realized that I bailed. I wonder if he’ll cut me from the team. I watch the numbers on the wall light up. I can’t focus on what not showing up for the scouts might mean to everything I’ve ever wanted.

  The second the doors slide open every voice in my head goes quiet. I step out of the elevator and Jenna doesn’t even look up, just stays where she is in the chair, hunched over with her head in her hands, completely alone in the hallway looking small and delicate.

  Nothing else matters right now. Everything that’s important in my life is right here in front of me. In this moment, I know without a shadow of a doubt that coming to be with her was the right thing to do. I just have to hope that she knows it too.

  Chapter Twenty-Six (Jenna)

  “Jenna?”

  I jump up, thinking that it’s one of the doctors finally bringing some news because I’ve been out here forever just waiting to hear something. I look up and it’s not at all what I expect.

  “Ty?” I look around, confused. Nina said she couldn’t come, and I don’t see her here. It looks like he came all by himself.

  He takes one step forward, seeming suddenly unsure of himself. Ty’s got his uniform on so he must have come straight from a game. “I heard what happened.” He walks over and takes the chair right next to mine. I can feel his warmth and all I want is to fold myself into his arms and have him tell me that everything’s going to be okay, but I don’t. I can’t. Despite what I want, Gramps is lying in there, somewhere between life and death and it feels like I’d be disrespecting him somehow.

  Ty starts to reach out for me but stops himself just before his fingers brush my skin. “Is he okay? Have they told you anything?”

  I shake my head, afraid that if I say anything I’ll start crying again. I take a deep breath and then slowly let it out. “I don’t know.”

  Ty searches my face with those piercing green eyes and then reaches over to put his arm around me, but I twist away and stand up out of the chair.

  “No,” I say. “Don’t.” Tears fill my eyes. I can’t do this right now. Not without knowing how Gramps is going to be. This isn’t about me or Ty right now. This has nothing to do with us.

  I don’t miss the hurt on Ty’s face, but he quickly tries to cover it up. “Sorry. Nina just said that you were here alone, and I thought that coming to be with you might help.” He stands up. “I guess I’m just adding to it.”

  “Jenna!” Mom says, walking out of the locked double doors that lead to the ICU.

  I rush over to her. “How is he? What’s going on?”

  Her face is red and blotchy from crying but she tries to smile. “He’s hanging in there. They’ve put him in an induced coma to try to let his brain and body heal.” She takes both of my hands in hers. “Do you want to see him? Gram could use some company.”

  I nod.

  “I have to warn you,” she says. “He looks really different, so don’t be scared, okay?” She walks me over to the buzzer on the wall and pushes the button. I glance up at Ty as the doors swing open, but he’s just standing in the middle of the waiting room, not saying a word.

  “Hi,” the nurse says as I walk into the ICU. She’s wearing scrubs that are covered with teddy bears holding balloons and I wonder if that helps her deal with working in such a sad place. “Your grandfather is right over here,” she says, leading me down the hallway. We pass other patie
nts in curtain-walled spaces—all of them are unconscious and hooked up to machines. Most of them have at least one worried-looking person in the chair next to the bed. I try not to look at them as we walk by, try to give them a little privacy in their pain.

  “Here we are,” the nurse says, stopping in front of a curtained-off area. She points to a container of hand-sanitizer on the wall. “Why don’t you go ahead and use a squirt of that before you go in?”

  “Okay.” I rub the disinfectant on my hands, the sharp scent of alcohol momentarily drowning out all of the other hospital smells. I take a deep breath and push the curtain open. I thought I was ready, I watch all those hospital shows on TV. But nothing could prepare me for what’s in the bed. Gramps doesn’t even look like himself—the only thing I recognize about him is his shock of white hair that looks naked without his cowboy hat perched on top. His face is red and swollen and they have tape on his eyes and around his mouth where the tube goes in to breathe for him. There’s a constant whooshing noise and some beeping from the wall of machines that’s next to him on a cart.

  “Come on in honey,” Gram says from the side of the bed. She’s standing there looking lost and tiny next to all of the hospital equipment. I walk over and grab her hand. Her fingers are ice-cold. “They say that he can hear you, so you should talk to him.”

  I lean down to his motionless face. “Hi Gramps.” I’m trying to sound cheerful, but it just sounds stilted.

  “You can touch his hand,” Gram says. “Just watch the tubes.”

  “Okay.” He’s got a monitor on one finger and some IVs coming out of the back of his hand, so I just hold on to two of his fingers. “Look,” I say. “I know you wanted to get me to come home, but this is ridiculous.”

  Gram smiles and puts one hand on my shoulder.

  “You’re always telling me to be careful on that tractor,” I say. “And now you go and do this?”

  The curtain behind us parts and two nurses walk in. “We just need to get his vitals,” one says. “Would you mind stepping out for just a second?”

  I help Gram out into the hallway just outside his space where we press ourselves up against the nurse’s station and try to stay out of the way. She’s still wearing one of her flowered aprons. She must have been in the kitchen when Gramps had his accident.

  “We’ve been married fifty-five years next month,” Gram says, her eyes shining with tears. “Together for fifty-eight. And this will be one of the few nights that we’ve ever spent apart.”

  I put my arm around her shoulders and pull her close to me. “You guys met when you were in high school, right?”

  “That’s right,” Gram sniffs. “I was sixteen and he was eighteen.” She gets a far-away look in her eyes. “He was so handsome back then. You should have seen him. Big, strapping football player.” She smiles. “My daddy hated him.”

  “Why would he hate him?” I realize I’ve never heard much about how they got together. It’s like something that’s just always been.

  “Because Daddy wanted a ranch-hand for a son in law, somebody who could take over for him one day. Not some motorcycle riding high-school graduate who was obsessed with cars.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  Gram laughs. “It took ages for them to get along. But in the end, I think it worked out okay.” She gives me a wink.

  The nurses walk out and hold the curtain open. “You can go back in now.”

  “How is he?” Gram asks one.

  “The same,” the nurse answers. “We really won’t know much for another few hours.”

  We walk back in and take our places around the bed. Gram picks up Gramps’ hand and holds it tight.

  “Did you fall in love with him at first sight?” I ask. I force my mind away from Ty in the waiting room. I remember the first time I saw him in the hallway—how he took my breath away without saying a word. And now look where we are.

  Gram leans over and brushes some of Gramps hair off his face. “Me? No. At least I don’t think so. I thought he was handsome and dashing, but at that point I really didn’t know what I wanted. Your Gramps says he did though. He says that he knew from the moment he laid eyes on me that I was the one.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  Gram shrugs. “He did. He wasn’t perfect by any stretch, but he was there for me no matter what. We had our ups and downs but in the end I knew that I could always count on him and sometimes that’s the most important thing. Your Gramps would drop everything if I needed him and there’s not too many people in this world that you can say that about.”

  I think of Ty stepping off the elevator, still in his uniform. He must have left in a hurry to get here so quickly. Even thinking about him makes my heart pound and an ache form in my chest.

  I lean over and give Gramps a kiss on the forehead. “I’m going to go get Mom to come back in, okay? I’m not leaving though. I’ll just be outside.”

  “Okay,” Gram says. I start to walk out when she stops me. “Jen?”

  “Yeah Gram?”

  “You know that he just wants you to be happy, right? He’s protective and he doesn’t always say the right thing, but in the end, your Gramps will be fine with whatever makes you happy.”

  “Thanks,” I say, barely able to get the word out around the lump in my throat.

  I push through the big double doors, my heart pounding, but there’s only Mom in the waiting room. I feel the blood drain from my face—I’m too late.

  “Where is he?”

  “Ty’s gone,” Mom says, looking up from her chair.

  “Gone?” I repeat.

  She nods. “Right after you went in to see Gramps.”

  I go to the window but I can’t see the parking lot from here. “Did he say anything?”

  “Not really,” Mom says. “I tried to talk to him, but he just said that he hoped Gramps is okay and then got back in the elevator.”

  “Damn.” My phone rings and I look at the number. “It’s Nina.”

  Mom nods toward the phone. “You should get it.”

  “It can wait.”

  Her eyes soften. “Get it.”

  I glance at her and then answer the call.

  “Jenna! It’s me. Is Ty with you?”

  I can hear the panic in her voice. “No. He was, but he left. What’s going on?”

  “That fucking idiot!” I hear her turn away and talk to someone who’s with her.

  “What happened?”

  “The baseball scouts, that’s what! Two different scouts were here to see him play and as soon as he heard about Gramps he left. Ran right off the field, took Mitch’s truck and drove to see you.”

  I’m starting to feel a little dizzy. Ty was in his uniform, but he’d never blow his big chance. “You’re kidding.”

  “I wish I was. Everybody here is freaking the fuck out. Mitch says the coach is ready to kill him—he might even get kicked off the team.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  There’s a pause on her end. “Because he knew that you were there by yourself. He told Mitch that he needed to be there for you.”

  I sit down hard on the plastic chair. Ty gave up all of that just to come here and be with me. “Oh my God. I have to go.”

  “If you see him, tell him to get his ass back here right away.”

  “I will.”

  “Hey…how’s Gramps?”

  I glance at Mom. It looks like she’s hanging on every word. “Okay I guess. We won’t know any more until later.”

  “Alright. Huge hug to you.”

  “You too. I’ll see you soon.”

  “What did Ty do?” Mom asks as soon as I hang up.

  I lean against the wall. “He came here.” My eyes fill with tears when I think about how I treated him. “There were scouts at the game to see him but he came here instead.”

  “Oh honey,” Mom says. She walks over and pulls me into a hug and I collapse against her.

  I feel like I’m being pulled in two directions—
I should stay here for Gramps, but every cell in my body aches to see Ty. “Why would he do that? Why would he blow everything he’s ever wanted? Everything he’s ever worked for?”

  Mom shakes her head. “Love makes you do crazy things.”

  Love. I remember the look in his eyes when Ty told me he loved me. And how empty I’ve felt since I pushed him away. It took a lot to say those three little words and I threw them back in his face like they were nothing. Love is supposed to be all sunshine and flowers. So why do I feel nothing but longing and pain? “He said he loved me…that day. But I just told him to get out.”

  She quietly strokes my hair like I’m seven again. “Do you love him?”

  I swallow past the lump in my throat. It’s like every muscle in my body is missing him, like I’ll jump out of my skin if I don’t get to see him, if I can’t explain myself. If he thinks I don’t want him. I look up at Mom and the thought settles into my chest like it belongs there. “Yes.”

  She pulls back and holds me at arm’s length. “Then you should go.”

  I glance at the doors to the ICU. “But what about Gramps?” I’ll be abandoning all of them if I leave here.

  “Gramps is stable right now—there’s nothing else to do but sit and wait tonight. He’s not going to even know you were here.”

  “But Gram will.”

  “Gram is the one person who will understand.” She bends down and hands me my bag. “Go. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

  Reluctantly I fish the keys out of my bag. “But—”

  “But nothing.” Mom’s hand closes over mine. “Go and find Ty and tell him how you feel while there’s still time.” She kisses my cheek. “But drive carefully.”

  “I will.”

  Mom disappears back through the big double doors to the ICU and I pull out my phone. He’s only been gone half an hour. Maybe I can catch him. I dial his number but it goes straight to voicemail. I’m not surprised—he must have shut it off with everyone calling him.

  I push the elevator button over and over, hoping it will get it there faster and jump in the second the doors open. Luckily it’s empty and I’m back in the lobby in less than a minute, racing through the sliding glass doors and into the parking lot. I blink at the darkness, surprised that the sun has gone down since we’ve been inside. I look at the cars shining in the streetlights and have no idea where I parked. I barely remember the drive down here in my panic.