“You asked if I wanted to be something more, I was trying. But maybe what we have isn’t anything more than this and never will be. Not again.”
As she spoke, the color drained from his face, but she was already going like a little steamroller. Her inertia carried her forward and she was unable to stop. “I can make you dinner. You can take me out. But if you don't tell me what's going on, then there's no forward to go to. So, don’t ask again.”
Unable to deal with the cold look in his eyes, Hailey smacked her silverware down onto the table and stood up as though she was going to go grab another beer. Mostly, she was just standing up and walking away because she needed to.
“It's my mother,” he finally said.
That didn't tell her much of anything. She'd already known he had a mother, but at least it was a start. Turning around, Hailey leaned against the bar that led to her tiny kitchen and waited. This was going to be up to him how things would go down.
Eventually Adam took a deep breath and added, “She said she has news.”
When he didn't elaborate, Hailey began to prod though maybe she should have dropped it. Once she got started, it became clear that had been the wrong move, but she was already on a roll. “Come on. That's all? Obviously, that's not everything. That might be everything she wrote in the text, but that's not enough to make you turn white as a ghost.”
He nodded then, as though catching on that she was going to push until either he told her or she broke him apart. For whatever reason there was an immense satisfaction in knowing that she was done pussyfooting around. “Tell me Adam. Or leave.”
Very carefully, he set his hands at the edge of the table as though he needed to anchor himself to the place. He stayed perfectly still. “The last time she used those words, she had cancer.”
Hailey frowned. “What do you mean she had cancer?”
This time, Adam at least moved, his expression changed until he no longer looked cold and petrified. Now, he looked confused. “What do you mean? You know she had cancer. She found the lump right before you left.”
“No, she didn't have cancer,” Hailey added, her conviction bumping up against his confusion. Strange swirly sensations formed in her lungs as she slowly breathed in and out. Mrs. Zucker had not had cancer.
His mother had been doing what she always did: making up anything she could to throw a wedge between her son and the girlfriend she didn’t like. Hailey had a few moments of his silence to put everything together. “Is that what she told you?”
“What do you mean what she told me, Hailey?” He started to rise from his seat. Stepping away, he paced the tiny space of her apartment almost running into the coffee table the area was so tiny. But he kept walking anyway, his angry footfalls surely bothering her downstairs neighbors. “She had cancer, Hailey. The lump that she found—it was malignant.”
The swirls in her lungs stopped, maybe because her breathing stopped. Again? They were doing this same thing again? This was the exact same problem as their first time around. She’d left him in her dust because he’d chosen his manipulative mother over her. He’d chosen the woman who lied to get her way. His mother had done everything she could to end their relationship.
Mrs. Zucker had consistently told Adam that Hailey trying to be a country star was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. She’d even spoken the words out loud on more than one occasion, that Hailey's dreams were going to drag them both down and ruin Adam’s life. Adam had always told her no, that he didn’t believe that. He told his mother that he loved Hailey, but when the time came? He always sided with his family.
And, dammit, Hailey was supposed to be his family. But he hadn’t come with her, had he? Now, he was doing it again: believing his mother instead of her. Hailey could feel everything inside her freeze up and it was probably better than feeling the sharp stab of pain at his words.
Hailey didn't say any of what she was thinking. Instead, she turned her head a little to the side. His family had always been a sore spot between them. His father had been reluctantly accepting, apparently thinking that Adam would simply grow out of a childhood relationship. His mother hadn't forbade them from seeing each other, but she’d sabotaged them every chance she’d gotten and, obviously, eventually succeeded.
So Hailey put the words on her tongue. “I hate to ask this—” She really did. Not because she didn't believe it, but she didn't want to hear him say that she was wrong, that he still believed his mother. “Did you see it?”
“Did I see her cancer?” He sounded as if she’d asked him if he’d watched the surgery happen or seen the cells themselves.
She almost blurted out “Yes!” but she managed to keep at least that in check. “No. Did you see her going to chemotherapy? Not just leaving house, but actually getting hooked up to IVs in the hospital? Did you talk to her doctor or see a report or something?”
Her hands were waving wildly now, her distress showing through as it occurred to her for the first time in eight years that she might have been very, very wrong.
29
“Yes.”
Adam’s single word hit her like a cold gust of wind, and Hailey froze where she stood. His mother had actually had cancer? That was a question she should never have had to ask, but she didn't trust Mrs. Zucker any further than she could throw the woman.
This time it was Adam who stopped and stared at her in disbelief. “Did you really not believe she had cancer?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“How could you not believe me when I said that?”
Hailey shook her head. She felt awful now for denying that someone had cancer, but at the time? There had been no other decision to make. How could she explain to Adam now that nothing Mrs. Zucker said had ever been true? Why would that one thing have been right?
She tried to explain. “Adam, it’s not that I didn’t believe you. It’s that I didn’t believe her. She thought I was terrible. She thought that I was going to ruin your life. Your mother would have done anything to break us up.”
He blinked, his eyes growing wider as his expression somehow grew even more disbelieving. “You thought she made up cancer?”
“Yes.” Hailey wanted the word to be forceful, but it came out more like a whisper, more like a question.
Adam’s frown only grew deeper until he finally spoke. “I guess I never really knew you at all.” With a stiffness setting in across his shoulders, he started for the door.
“No!” She yelled it at him. “No! You don't get to walk out in the middle of this. I told you this last time. When your mother first announced that she thought she had cancer, I told you that I didn't believe her. And I told you why. But you walked out.”
She sucked in a breath but didn’t let it stop her. “That's why we broke up. That's why I left. Because you wouldn't talk to me.”
At least that made him pause. His hand was already on the doorknob, not quite opening it yet. Instead, he turned around. “Hailey, there was nothing to talk about. You had already decided that you were leaving. You also decided that whatever happened to me didn't matter. You couldn't wait just six months or a year for me to take care of my family.”
She yelled at him now. “There was no family to take care of! She wasn’t sick!”
Hailey heard her voice bouncing off the four walls and wondered what her neighbors must think. Usually, she was quiet. She didn't have a pet. She didn't throw parties. Occasionally, she played her guitar late at night and the neighbors knocked on their ceiling and the walls at her then. What must they be thinking about this?
Right then, she knew she was making a critical decision. She could tell him that he had been right all those years ago, that nothing would have stopped her. Or she could let him walk out the door again not knowing what she really thought.
If she let him go, it would be over. She would never ever see him again. He would become a stranger that she had once loved very, very much. Her other option was to plant her feet and stand and fight. The difference with
fighting was that she didn't know the outcome.
Hailey threw her first real punch. “That woman made up everything.”
She knew Adam didn't like it when she referred to his mother as that woman. But, right now, she couldn't find anything more gracious to say.
“Hailey…”
“We've had this fight before. Do you remember?” She almost laughed. “It was a long time ago, and you didn't believe me then. But right now, you get to re-decide if you do. You did not have a family emergency on homecoming. Your little sister was not in the ER.”
Adam shook his head as though shaking off something that didn’t agree with him. “What are you talking about?”
There had been so many family emergencies. Babysitters that didn’t show up. Car problems. Late nights at work. All things that Mrs. Zucker called on Adam to fix—all things that interfered with time he’d planned with Hailey. He’d constantly canceled on her, and she’d let him. But they’d missed homecoming because of an emergency room visit for Chelsea.
Adam was still shaking his head. “Chelsea was sick. She needed an IV. She was in the hospital until the middle of the night.”
“No, she wasn't.” Hailey was proud of her calm voice. It had all been a lie, but her evidence was a gamble. “Call her. Call Chelsea right now. Ask your sister, not your mother—because your mother will just lie to you again. But ask your sister if she’ll tell you the truth now that she’s an adult. Ask if she was actually sick, if she was actually even in the emergency room that night.”
Hailey had to hope that would be enough. She had to hope that his little sister had grown up enough to tell the truth. Or maybe she hadn’t figured out that Adam was seeing Hailey again and might think it didn’t matter.
Adam only stared at her while he pulled out his phone and dialed.
Great, she thought. It was probably going to take three days for Chelsea to reply and hopefully tell him the truth. Hailey’s confidence faltered. Whatever Mrs. Zucker said at the time convinced her daughters to lie, too. Adam had bought the story, hook, line and sinker. But maybe there was hope this time. Hailey held her breath while she watched him wait for an answer.
“Hey, Chelse,” he said, startling Hailey. His sister had actually picked up the line! So she listened while he asked random questions and eventually said, “Thank you” before hanging up. He’d said “yes,” a handful of times in between, but Hailey didn’t know what it meant. So she waited with her heart in her throat for him to speak.
Adam took a slow deep breath, it looked like he was centering himself, but Hailey knew him. His changed expression meant that Chelsea had finally recanted her story of a stomach bug that had sent her into the ER and canceled the all-night party the teenaged Hailey and Adam had planned.
He didn’t even say that Chelsea had finally told him the truth. He didn’t have to. Instead, his shoulders slumped as he asked, “You never believed her? I guess you were right about that one. But why do you still think she lied about everything?”
Hailey tossed her head back and forth for a moment. “Do you want the truth?”
“Always.”
She didn’t quite believe that. He’d not listened to the truth in the past, but if she was fighting for this, she would try again. “Your mother liked to corner me when you weren't around. She liked to tell me how she was going to break us up, and how you would never leave your family behind. Certainly, not for me. She told me to my face that you wouldn’t come with me and that I didn't stand a chance against her.”
Hailey laughed at the cold, bitter memories. When the feeling finally drained out of her system, she crossed her arms and looked up at him. “I told her she was wrong, that I didn’t believe she could do it. I didn’t think anything could break us up. But you know what? In the end, she was right.”
30
Adam still couldn't breathe. His hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, gripping it with far more force than was necessary. He had left Hailey standing in the middle of her apartment, with dinner still sitting on the table—half eaten. She’d stared at him as he walked out.
He shouldn't have left like that, but between what Chelsea had admitted, and what Hailey told him, he hadn't been able to process the new information at all.
He’d gotten himself a hotel room when he first came into town this evening. In his mind, he was being a good citizen. He was only dating Hailey, not expecting to spend the night. The hotel was proof that he was as good as his word. But, now, when he was trying to flee town, he had to go back and get his things.
Pulling up under the low, slightly sagging overhang, he counted the silver numbers tacked to each orange door. This time, he was staying in cheap digs. Though he was proud that he could afford the nice hotel for Hailey the week before, it wasn't something he could afford to do every time.
He hadn't been lying about the business operating with tight margins. Though he wouldn't admit to it at work, he ate ramen noodles or cereal for dinner more evenings than was healthy. Any way he could squeeze every last penny into the business.
Grabbing everything, Adam left the key on the dresser, before throwing his bag haphazardly into the back seat. His Mercedes buzzed down the street giving a good kick of speed. The car was an expense he’d accepted for the image at work—like eating decent lunches but cheap dinners. He didn't tell people he'd gotten the car secondhand.
The car swerved to miss the small silver hatchback in the next lane as it tried to pull over on him. He hadn’t seen it, he’d been so focused, so angry and confused. Before he made it to his mother’s he’d almost changed lanes right on top of someone twice.
Hailey was right. He said it to himself again. Hailey was right.
Though he’d always known his mother didn't like his girlfriend, he hadn’t believed it was as bad as Hailey had always complained. Until tonight, he hadn’t even entertained the possibility that it was anything more than Hailey being young and self-centered.
But now he looked back and tried to drag it all up. His mother had told him repeatedly that Hailey wasn't right for him. Occasionally, she'd even enlisted his father to say so as well. Though the old man had been reluctant to join in, he’d added his two cents from time to time. Still, Adam never imagined that his mother had actively maneuvered the situation to drive them apart.
Hell, he hadn’t even believed she’d said so directly to Hailey’s face.
His breath huffed out into a harsh sigh inside the car. The driveway bumped underneath him, the old gravel needing to be raked again. Normally, he would have filed that away, picked a date to come back and do the job for her. Now, he thought about what else his mother might have lied about. She’d done it at least once.
His mother wasn’t content just doing these things herself; she’d enlisted his little sister to help stop his homecoming date.
Jesus.
Suddenly, he was questioning everything. All the times that he and Hailey had been interrupted. All the times his mother had suddenly needed something and he'd had to cancel at the last minute. It seemed normal back then: just the way families ran. It made sense that he was really the only one who got interrupted. He was the oldest. If his parents had to leave, it was logical that he would stay home to babysit. It all made sense at the time. But was any of it real?
He smacked his hands against the steering wheel.
In high school, Hailey had been very good natured about all the times his family had interfered. As teenagers living under their parents’ roofs, Adam figured it was to be expected. Her family didn’t interfere because she didn't really have a family. If her mother had a new boyfriend in the trailer or if there was a fight, Hailey would retreat to her bedroom. After closing the door, she would simply drop out the window. No one had ever missed her.
It hit him then. A ton of bricks weighing down his heart with sudden comprehension. Hailey hadn't understood his need to stay behind for his family—because she hadn't understood family. He wasn't sure if she was even in touch with her
mother now. He'd always wondered if something had happened to Hailey, if her mother would even bother to report her missing. Mrs. Pulaski wasn't abusive—at least not as far as Adam had ever known—but she was neglectful enough that he'd always been surprised that Hailey was such an amazing person.
So he sat in the driveway for a moment and got himself together before confronting his mother about what she’d done. All of this had been triggered by the text that said she had news.
And no good had ever come of that.
31
Hailey stood, stunned, for a full minute. She looked at the four walls around her as though Adam should be there. He should at least be frowning at her, maybe be angry. But he’d just walked out.
When she finally got herself together, Hailey cleaned up their interrupted dinner. Picking up half-eaten bowls of chili, she consoled herself with a task she could complete. Obviously, she was a failure at love, but she could clear the table.
She scraped the food Adam had left behind down the garbage disposal and set her own bowl aside. She would likely get hungry later, since she hadn't really eaten anything. The pit in her stomach made her wonder when that would be. Still, she pulled out plastic wrap and covered the food, then put it in the fridge with rote motions.
Next she plucked the basket off the table. She’d lined it with a checkered napkin and filled it with the remaining cornbread muffins. For a moment, she thought about putting them away too. Screw it, she thought. They were worthless.
Fountain water that finds your true love was probably the dumbest thing she'd ever heard. True springs had a racket going and nothing more. She should never have believed that it worked. Taking the muffins to the trash, she flipped her wrist and dumped the remaining ones inside. They made satisfying sounds as they hit the bottom of the bag.
That Night in Nashville (Ticket to True Love) Page 10