by Penny Jordan
‘I never doubted it, but youthful hormones being what they are…’ He gave an expressive shrug. ‘Actually, I was glad that there was somewhere that Rafe felt at home.’
The expression on his hard, autocratic face hadn’t altered, but something in his tone made Tess forget her own embarrassment and stare.
‘You knew Rafe was unhappy, yet you didn’t do anything about it,’ she accused.
‘My hands were tied,’ he told her stiffly. ‘I regretted it, but…’
‘Your regret didn’t do Rafe much good,’ she told him bluntly. ‘The way I see it, he suffered for your mistakes!’
‘It seems to me that Rafe is most fortunate to have so loyal a friend.’
‘I don’t want to be his friend!’ she wailed. ‘Oh, God!’ She gulped, covering her mouth with her hand. ‘I’m sorry.’ She sniffed and found a large, beautifully laundered white handkerchief thrust in her hand.
‘I was under the impression that Rafe desired more too,’ Rafe’s father murmured drily.
‘That was all an act,’ she admitted miserably.
‘My, my, the boy’s talents are limitless, it would seem. You probably think I was extremely…clumsy when I told Rafe about his true parentage.’
‘I think your timing was a bit off, say by twenty years or so,’ she told him resentfully.
‘I loved Natalie, you know.’ He glowered at a startled Tess as if she was about to dispute this surprising confession.
‘I don’t really remember her. Rafe has a photo…’ Rafe had inherited her dark colouring.
‘You’ll find as you get older that there are pivotal moments in life. You don’t always recognise those decisions for what they are at the time. You don’t realise there’s no going back…There are so many things I’d do differently, though loving Natalie is not one of them,’ he growled.
‘There hasn’t been a day since she left I haven’t wished I’d had the guts to create a scandal and say to hell with family honour! I shouldn’t have sent her away, we should have gone with her, the boy and I…but it’s too late now. Do you think me a very selfish man?’ he wondered.
There was an intensely sad expression in Edgar’s pale blue eyes as he contemplated what might have been. Tess felt some of her hostility dissolve towards this powerful, driven old man.
‘I suppose it makes me think of you as human…which I have to admit,’ she told him with a tiny spurt of mischief,
‘comes as something of a surprise to me.’ Her expression sobered. ‘Have you explained to Rafe how you felt about his mother? It might help.’
The old man’s dark scowl was back. ‘I tried…you heard me…Rafe isn’t interested in listening.’
‘Since when did you take no for an answer? Not that it’s any of my business,’ she added, uncomfortably aware that, just when she ought to be distancing herself from the Farrars, she was getting sucked in all over again.
‘While you’re bringing up the youngest Farrar—and, if I may say so, doing an excellent job of it…’ this unexpected commendation stilled her alarmed protest ‘…I would think that it’s as much your business as anyone’s.’
‘Does that mean…?’
‘Give me some credit! I’m stubborn, girl, not blind! I can see that you’re an excellent mother to the boy. I would, however, like to get to know my great-grandson. How do you feel about that?’
‘If you must know, relieved.’
‘Excellent! Then, if you’re not too tired, why not bring Ben here over…he does wake up occasionally, I take it?’
‘Oh, he wakes up, all right,’ Tess promised drily.
‘Bring him over to the house for afternoon tea. I’ll send the car for you. It would be an opportunity for us to discuss financial arrangements.’
The smile vanished from Tess’s face. That would teach her to remember not to lower her defences with a Farrar. ‘I don’t want your money.’
Regarding the mutinous jut of her soft chin with a thoughtful expression, Edgar leaned forward in his seat and spoke softly.
‘I’ve never been a big fan of this modern compromise nonsense either, but then look where stiff-necked pride has got me…I’m a lonely old man with one son who would stab me in the back for my money, if he thought he could get away with it, and another who hates my guts and wouldn’t take my hand if he was drowning. Let me do something for Ben, Tess?’
Despite her natural inclination to view everything he said with cynicism and hostility, she was impressed by his obvious sincerity. Even allowing for the fact the ‘lonely old man’ part was a little bit hard to swallow, Tess was sure that this was as close to pleading as Edgar Farrar had ever been and it was close enough to amaze her.
‘We’d like to come to tea.’
It wasn’t a major concession, but to judge by Edgar’s expression he was satisfied with his progress.
‘You mentioned that you’re no longer engaged to my son…’
Her spine stiffened until her back was barely brushing the deep upholstery. ‘That’s right.’
‘Did you come to this conclusion as a couple, or was this a unilateral decision…your unilateral decision?’
‘Rafe won’t fight me on this,’ she assured him dully.
‘If you’re sure…? You accused me earlier of not taking no for an answer. I think you’ll find when it comes to obstinacy Rafe is in a class of his own. Think about it,’ he advised when she didn’t respond.
Tess was treated to a first-hand sample of Rafe’s stubbornness later that day when she’d secured a freshly scrubbed and refreshed Ben in the back of the chauffeur-driven Rolls and was sliding in beside him.
‘Where the hell do you think you’re going?’
She slammed the door in Rafe’s face. ‘Drive on, please!’ Tess appealed to the impassive-faced driver.
‘Don’t move!’ Rafe barked, banging his hand on the roof of the Rolls and poking his head through the open rear window.
The driver was obviously at a loss to know what to make of his conflicting instructions. Rafe took advantage of his indecision.
‘You do know who this car belongs to, don’t you?’
‘I’d hardly get into a stranger’s car, would I?’ she announced carelessly.
‘I’ve not even been gone forty-eight hours. You’ve got to hand it to the old man, he’s a fast worker.’ He sounded anything but admiring. ‘How did he work the magic? A slick line or have I misjudged you—did it just take a nice fat cheque?’ he jeered nastily.
‘If I didn’t know it would frighten Ben,’ she snapped, glancing protectively towards the small boy fastened into his brand-new child restraint before bestowing a contemptuous glare on Rafe, ‘I’d slap that self-righteous smirk off your face.’
It was the fact she obviously considered he could be a threat to Ben rather than the threat of physical violence that really made him mad!
‘Would you care to explain to me exactly what’s going on? I found your bag complete with credit cards, cash and cheque-book on my bed. You, however, were noticeable by your absence. You haven’t been answering my calls—as far as I knew you could have been lying on a morgue slab!’ He bowed his dark head and she saw his knuckles whiten against the window rim.
‘Don’t be so dramatic!’ she advised him scornfully.
His head lifted sharply; his dark eyes were burning. ‘I’ve been frantic!’
Tess sniffed with deliberate disdain, but her feelings overcame her.
‘Was that before or after you’d finished rolling around on the bed with Claudine?’ she spat, abandoning her dignified contempt in favour of green-eyed—in more ways than one—fury!
Was there no end to his deceit? she wondered, conveniently ignoring the fact he’d never denied being in love with Claudine as she viewed with growing contempt his superb display of bewildered confusion.
‘Will you please drive on?’ she pleaded urgently.
Her desperation must have swung the day because the driver managed to overcome his reluctance to leave his
employer’s heir standing ignominiously at the side of the road and started up the engine.
Tess had a last glimpse of Rafe’s furious features just before the car drew away. Her sigh of relief turned out to be premature; the car was still gathering speed when the door beside her was yanked open and Rafe almost landed on top of her.
‘How dare you?’ she gasped, putting as much space between her and Rafe as was humanly possible given the confined area—the confined part was already inflicting major damage to her nervous system! Her senses were so finely tuned to him that the barely detectable male scent that emanated from his warm, lean body made her stomach muscles go into a series of seriously disturbing spasms. A wave of sexual longing so powerful it literally robbed her of breath for several terrifying moments swept through her.
He grinned coldly through gritted teeth. ‘There are few things I don’t dare when it comes to getting what I want.’
And am I supposed to believe that’s me? ‘What am I supposed to do now…applaud?’ She dealt him a look of withering scorn. ‘Go flex your ego somewhere else!’ She raised her voice. ‘Will you stop the car, please? Mr Farrar is getting out.’
‘Actually,’ Rafe drawled, ‘I’m not. Short of physical force, angel, what do you suppose you can do about that?’ He smiled with grim satisfaction.
He had her there and they both knew it. The chauffeur didn’t look able or willing to eject Rafe, and, considering the dangerous light in his eyes, she didn’t altogether blame him.
‘That was such a stupid, dangerous thing to do, you could have slipped and…’ Her scolding tone faded as an image of Rafe under the wheels of a moving vehicle popped into her head. She had to close her eyes until the waves of nausea passed.
‘Are you all right?’
Tess felt his hand on her shoulder. His arm lightly grazed her breasts, which had been curiously tender of late. The contact made her nipples burn; she winced and pulled away.
‘So now you can’t stand me to touch you!’ he thundered in an outraged voice that suggested he’d do his utmost to make her retract it if she was foolish enough to confirm this accusation.
Tess opened her mouth to contradict him when it occurred to her that she’d be better off letting this false impression stand, though, she reflected bitterly, he couldn’t be nearly as intelligent as everyone thought he was if he could think she didn’t like his touch…It was weak, it was pathetic, but she was dying inside for his touch!
Head on one side, she subjected his sternly handsome face to an apparently objective scrutiny. ‘Sulky doesn’t suit you,’ she concluded after a short silence.
‘I’ll try and remember that,’ he promised grimly.
‘What’s your next trick going to be?’ she rounded on him with brittle sarcasm. ‘Wing-walking or jumping from a ten-storey building? I know all little boys like to pretend they’re James Bond.’ She gave a superior smile as he coloured self-consciously. ‘But I’d be grateful if you could restrain yourself while Ben is watching. He tries to ape everything you do—for some reason he thinks you’re marvellous.’
‘And you don’t?’
‘I think you’re…’ She took a steadying breath. ‘I won’t repeat in front of Ben what I think of you.’
Rafe tore his unresponsive eyes from the heaving surge of her bosom. ‘This isn’t about that damned announcement, is it?’
‘Oh, you’re so quick,’ she admired. ‘No, it isn’t about the announcement, which, incidentally, you’d better retract. It’s about the fact you met up with Claudine and told her you still loved her.’
‘I what?’
‘Don’t bother denying it! I heard you.’
‘You heard?’
‘Yes, I heard. For a man who makes his living asking questions, you sound like a parrot.’
The driver pulled the car over onto the grass verge as they finally cleared the section of hairpin bends in the road. He cleared his throat discreetly.
‘Will this do, miss, for Mr Farrar to get out…?’
‘Mr Farrar isn’t getting out,’ Rafe contradicted flatly.
‘Fine, then we are.’ Her trembling fingers were making heavy weather of the baby harness. ‘I’ll walk.’
Rafe sat for a moment watching the slender, rigid-backed figure stalk along the road ahead. He sighed.
‘Thanks, we’ll all walk.’
‘What shall I tell the other Mr Farrar?’ the driver yelled worriedly after Rafe.
‘Don’t tempt me,’ Rafe muttered as he broke into a jog to catch up with Tess. ‘Slow down, woman. Let me carry Ben.’
‘We can manage without you.’
‘Maybe you can, but I sure as hell can’t manage without you,’ Rafe ground back forcefully.
Tess tried to blink back the tears and almost tripped over. Forced to come to a halt—there was no way she was out-running him—she kissed the top of Ben’s head apologetically.
‘Why are you saying this to me?’ she asked in an agonised whisper. ‘Why are you being so cruel? There’s no need to pretend any more. I know how you feel—’
His bitter laugh cut her off. ‘If that wasn’t so tragic it would be funny!’
Bewildered by the biting note in his acrid observation, Tess didn’t put up much of a fight when he took her hand and drew her off the road and into a small grassy picnic area. The car, which had been crawling along behind them, came to a full stop several yards away.
‘Edgar isn’t going to try and take Ben off me.’
‘I don’t know or care just now how you happened to get cosy with Edgar all of a sudden.’ He proceeded to take Ben from her. ‘You play here, mate,’ he said, putting him down on the floor.
Ben appeared perfectly willing to co-operate with the big man who made him laugh.
‘Now…!’ Grim determination was etched in every intriguing plane and hollow of his tense, lean face.
‘Don’t use that tone with me!’
‘You’re not leaving here until you tell me what the hell you’re talking about.’
‘You’re in love with Claudine and you don’t care if her baby isn’t yours.’
Comprehension flickered into his eyes. ‘So that’s what you heard.’
Her shoulders sagged. One tiny part of her had still been hoping against all the odds that there would be some sort of last-minute reprieve. No wonder he sounded so relieved—he was probably just grateful he no longer had the onerous task of explaining the state of play to her.
‘Are you going to wish me well?’ He might have bent down to add a stick to Ben’s growing collection, but his watchful regard was still reserved for Tess.
Tess knew she’d bite off her tongue before she could bring herself to mouth meaningless platitudes—if that made her a sore loser, so be it!
‘I just hope you know what you’re doing. I hope you’ll forgive me for talking frankly,’ she said earnestly, ‘but we’ve been friends for a long time and I…I…care about you…’ she mumbled.
He rose to his feet and her stoic, pain-filled gaze slid uncomfortably away from his alert glance.
‘That’s nice,’ he said softly, taking her chin in one hand.
‘How much?’ he asked huskily, tilting her face up to him.
Rafe’s face was a dark silhouette as she squinted against the strong early evening sun. ‘How much what?’ she whispered.
‘How much do you care about me?’ His fingers trailed down her cheek as, eyes wild with panic, she tore herself free.
‘Ben, Ben…’ She suddenly developed an uncharacteristic concern about the grass stains on his clean pale blue shirt.
‘You little grub!’ she chided softly. ‘And look at your hands,’ she fussed, bending down to turn over his chubby little baby hands.
‘Leave him be, Tess, there’s no harm in a little dirt.’ Firmly Rafe took possession of her own hands and pulled her to her feet. ‘You didn’t answer me,’ he reminded her, running a finger down the curve of her cheek.
‘That wasn’t an accident.’ He
r mouth wouldn’t form the smile to accompany her flippant response. ‘What do you want me to say?’ she asked him angrily.
‘I want you to say that you’ve been enduring seven kinds of hell since you discovered I’m so besotted I’d even take on another man’s child…that the obstacle hasn’t been created that could stop me loving my woman! I want to hear that I’m not the only one who’s been suffering. You little fool!’ he groaned hoarsely as he hauled her unceremoniously into his strong arms and kissed her.
It was the sort of kiss that went on for a long, long time. She emerged panting hard, one shaking hand on her heaving bosom. Ears filled with the pounding of her heartbeat, she stepped back a pace and struggled to gather her fatally scattered thoughts.
A deep frown puckered her smooth brow; her head spun. ‘It felt like you meant that.’ Which meant what, exactly…?
He grinned tautly in response to her breathless observation.
‘Did you come up to town because you wanted to spy on me?’ His blazing eyes held the definite suggestion he’d go to any lengths to extract a reply.
She could still feel the sensuous impression of his warm lips on her tender mouth, still taste him; preserving her pride no longer seemed particularly important.
Pretending that they could go back to their old cosy relationship was obviously a non-starter, and why should she be ashamed of loving him anyhow? It wasn’t as if things could get more strained or awkward than they already were!
Bravely she lifted her head and tossed back her hair. ‘I felt guilty because I was marrying you under false pretences. I didn’t want to marry you because of Ben, I wanted to marry you because I’m in love with you. When I overheard…’ Her brave voice faltered and she bit her quivering lip. ‘I realised there wasn’t much point. Why did you kiss me like that, Rafe?’
‘Like I couldn’t get enough of you?’ He continued in the same hard, driven tone, his eyes boring mercilessly into her.
‘Like you’re as essential as oxygen? Like you’re just as intoxicating as a twenty-year-old bottle of fine brandy? Like I want a Tess hangover for the rest of my life? Like you’re the woman I love enough to marry no matter what?’ His voice dropped with each successive question until it was a deep, impossibly sexy growl which made her receptive pulses leap crazily.