Taking Chances

by Taylor, Janelle

  Christopher Harrison in a serious “fight” that cost him full use of one hand and his career? He didn’t seem to have a violent temper and fighting streak. If he had been involved in something like that, the reason must have been grave. “I’m sure of that, John. I didn’t mean to imply he wasn’t either one. He’s helpful and kind, and we’ve become friends. I was lucky you brought me to him. He has taken terrific care of me.”

  “That’s great. How long does Chris think your cure will take?”

  She didn’t reveal there was no cure for her condition. “Christopher said another week or two. The same is true for my poor car.”

  They heard her host riding in and John left to speak with him. Kirstin wondered if the officer wanted privacy to check out what she’d told him and to warn his friend of his slip. She deliberated what she’d learned about the handsome physician. No wonder he was bitter and moody on occasion, reluctant to discuss his past, unwilling to talk with her about her own work in animal surgery and research. Was he hiding out in New Mexico to salve his emotional pains, to avoid pity from his colleagues? She needed to learn the reason for the fight and who started it. She needed to know if charges had been made against him, and if a death was involved.

  From his work on her, his hand couldn’t be totally disabled. It was probably just injured enough to prevent skilled surgery. How sad and tormenting for him. He had worked and studied for years, only to have his dream destroyed. Her heart went out to him. He was proud; he didn’t want her pity, either. And perhaps he didn’t want her to discover how the disability had occurred. She wouldn’t say anything to him about it—hopefully John wouldn’t, either. She wanted to pull him into her arms like a hurt child, hug him, kiss him, and help him deal with his lingering anguish. But, like her, he wouldn’t want to be babied. And, like her, he had to .face a problem that was both incurable and life-controlling.

  It was twenty minutes later when Christopher came inside and John drove away. He sent her a mellow smile as he told her he was ready to leave as soon as he washed up in his bathroom.

  On the drive into town, Christopher asked, if she would like to go to a barbecue with him Saturday at a neighbor’s ranch. “Afterward we can take in a movie with John and Maria. There’s an old-fashioned western playing.”

  “Sounds like fun to me; I’d be delighted.”

  “Then it’s a date. I’ll fill you in later about everybody who’s coming.”

  Kirstin wanted to ask if the “date” was his or John’s idea, and if John had mentioned his slip about the fight. If the officer had disclosed it, Christopher didn’t seem annoyed or uneasy. He wanted to show her around, have her meet his friends and neighbors, see the area, and get closer” to him, close enough to …

  They drove past miles of semidesert terrain and grasslands with fences that seemed to stretch from horizon to horizon with cattle and horses and sometimes antelope grazing in them. They saw fields with acres of rows of maize, potatoes, peanuts, corn, sugar beets, and cotton— freshly planted and just sprouting. They were watered by artesian wells, sprays from rotating irrigation equipment, and specially built ponds. Other farms displayed fields of wheat and alfalfa and barley. Grain storage bins “were abundant. Railroad tracks ran near the highway to their left.

  “If you like, one day we can visit the Hillcrest Park Zoo; it’s the second largest in our state. We also have Blackwater Draw Museum near Portales if you’re in to seeing anthropological and paleontological exhibits. You might even find our weekly cattle auctions interesting if you’ve never seen one.”

  Lots of plans … “It all sounds marvelous. You sure it won’t interfere with your work at the office and on the ranch?”

  “Nope.. Fact is, I can use some recreation and diversions.”

  “It’s a deal, Doc; you be the guide and I’ll be your follower.”

  “Even if I have an ulterior motive of leading you astray?” he jested.

  “People can be led astray only if they want to be.”

  He kept his gaze on the highway as he asked, “Do you want to be?”

  “Well, there’s astray and there’s … astray. When you start guiding me in a certain direction, I’ll know better how to answer and behave.”

  “A cunning response.” As they neared Clovis, Christopher told her it was built across an old Comanche hunting trail, then launched into a short history lesson of the town and its surroundings.

  Minutes later, he turned the Jeep Wagoneer off of Highway 70 and onto Mabry Drive. They passed the fair grounds and rodeo arena, then drove by hotels, restaurants, and the RV Sales & Rentals.

  Glancing that way, he asked, “Ever been camping?”

  “The children took a few trips with clubs but I never chaperoned.” David didn’t think it was ladylike or that I could be spared from my duties at home.

  At the Nissan dealership, she met Joe Bob Bridges and they discussed the needed repairs on her car. She felt the mechanic was honest and dependable, as John and Christopher had told her.

  Afterward, Christopher pulled into the parking lot of a small cafe down the street. “Janie has the best country cooking around. Plenty for you to choose from to fit your diet. You prepared for emergencies?”

  Kirstin grinned as she patted her pants pocket. “Right here, Doc.”

  He sent her a pleased grin. “Smart woman.”

  I didn’t want any more lectures to spoil our first date. “You’ve taught me that lesson well.”

  “That in itself made staying with me worthwhile.”

  As they ate lunch, Kirstin noticed how many people smiled, waved, or spoke to Christopher. It was obvious he was well liked and respected, and well known in the small town. “Does everybody know everybody here?”

  “Just about, especially if you’ve lived here all your life. The cattle auctions and rodeos bring people close together. Ranchers and farmers have a lot in common; they band together in small towns. Now if you’re finished, let’s ride. I’ll show you a few sights before we head home. I want to run those blood tests before the Master’s comes on. You need anything while we’re in town?”

  “I think you got everything the other day that we’ll need for weeks.”

  Christopher pointed out sights as Kirstin listened and looked from side to side. He noticed how she toyed with the bracelet he had given her. He was glad he had suggested the outing; she was fun and interesting. Each thing he learned about her enticed him to move closer to her.

  Kirstin gazed at the high plains landscape that soon engulfed them as they left town. “Is it very hot here in the summer?”

  “Nope. We have mild days and nights most of the year because of the high altitude and dry air.”

  “Year-round tourist weather?”

  “Yep. ‘Course we do have occasional snows or a blizzard. Harsh weather can be hard on ranchers and cattle, but it also gives time for inside chores and reading—and cuddling before a cozy fire.”

  Kirstin didn’t want to become aroused by envisioning such a scene with him so she said, “We rarely had very bad weather in Augusta; I hope it’s the same in San Diego. I know California has trouble with earthquakes sometimes; I’m not looking forward to experiencing my first one. Do you think my health will be balanced enough to see the Caverns and White Sands before I have to leave for work?”

  She’d told him she didn’t have to begin work for weeks; did her statement mean—

  “Will I?” she asked again when he didn’t respond.

  “I’ll be glad to take you if you can hang around long enough for a free day or two in my schedule. It’s a bit much for a one-day trip.”

  Stay overnight in a hotel? Together? “That would be wonderful, Christopher. Actually, I wasn’t looking forward to going into that huge cavern alone. I’ve never seen a cave before. I haven’t seen much of anything before. David wasn’t into vacationing. He— “ Shut up, you ninny! He isn’t interested in your sad excuse for a marriage to a secretive and selfish man.

  “He what, Kirstin
? He didn’t like traveling?”

  She’d opened her big mouth, so it would seem odd not to answer. “David was a workaholic. He loved his job more than anything. He spent too much time out of town and in meetings, and socializing with clients. Because so many people were off on weekends and holidays, he used lots of them to make new contacts or to help out busy clients. If he took the time for a family trip, it was usually a quick and hectic one. Mostly to places for the children, like Disneyland or Six Flags or the beach. I haven’t seen much of America; that’s why this vacation meant so much to me.”

  Christopher slowed his speed. “What did he do for a living?”

  “He was a top agent, vice-president, and regional manager for a large national insurance company. He had a five-state territory to cover and was based in Augusta. He was in multiline insurance, mostly with clients who had plenty of money. He always took excellent care of them.”

  Christopher detected bitterness in her last statement and guessed why; though she loved her job, she had to work to support herself. “Insurance and investments are important to one’s future. I hope you’re vested in Medico’s retirement and stock-option plans; you can’t go wrong there, Kirstin. I even have Medico stock. I also have a superb financial consultant if you’d like his name. He gives excellent advice on how to protect and invest savings and retirement funds. With the economy as it is, it isn’t wise to take chances. Was David always in insurance?”

  “Yes. My father got him into it; that’s how we met. My parents were thirty-eight and forty-one when I was born. Daddy died five years ago, and Mother eighteen months ago, three months before David was killed in that traffic accident. She’d been a semi-invalid for two years. She had an apartment attached to our home, so I took care of her until the end. Before her stroke, she lived with her sister in Macon. Mother wasn’t totally disabled and her mind was clear, so I wanted to keep her at home as long as possible. David allowed me to do so.”

  Again, Christopher grasped bitterness in her tone.

  “To help earn a down payment for our first home, Mother kept Sandi and Steve, which allowed’ me to work in research— until I got pregnant with Katie and everybody made me quit. My parents adored David and the children, and would have done just about anything for us. We moved into that large and fancy house the minute David could afford it. Image always came first to him. Daddy’s insurance job was what took us to Augusta from my grandparents’ farm. He was good at it, but he didn’t let it consume his life like— “ She tugged at her upper lip. “David worked with him the summer before my last year of high school. They got very close; I think Daddy saw him as the son he never had, and David knew how to take advantage of those feelings.”

  “So they encouraged a romance between you two?”

  “Yes. We dated during college and got married just before my senior year. It was my parents’ and David’s idea; I, being obedient, complied with their wishes. My parents wanted grandchildren before they got older or died. They paid our expenses until we both finished school and went to work.”

  “What about his parents?”

  “They lived in South Carolina. David moved to Augusta to attend a local college his first year. He needed a summer job to earn money for his next year and connected with Daddy. His father had been in the military; he was killed in Vietnam in a helicopter crash. His mother passed away a few years ago. David wasn’t close to them, and he was an only child.”

  “Why didn’t he get support or an education loan from the military?”

  Kirstin frowned. “His father was dishonorably discharged for protesting the war or something like that and was being sent home. The helicopter he was on was shot down. The Lowreys lost their benefits. Maybe that was why David was obsessed with achieving, to make up for what his father did in the war. I’m sure it’s embarrassing and embittering for your father to be dishonorably discharged, almost court-martialed and imprisoned. David didn’t talk about it to me, but I overheard him tell Daddy they were almost financially destroyed. Needless to say, that made him tightfisted with money.” And I’d certainly love to know what he did with most of ours. So would Stephen.

  “That was certainly good motivation for him to become obsessed. After David got established, he wanted you to quit work permanently?”

  “Yes, so did my parents.”

  “So after he died, you returned to work?”

  “Thirteen months ago. I was lucky to land that job at Medico after being away from research for so long. So much changes in the medical field during that many years. I’m glad they took a chance on me.”

  “I’m sure it was your skills and personality that landed you the job … The kids were gone, so you sold the house and moved?”

  “Yes, it was too big, expensive and too time-consuming for me alone.”

  “I know what you mean. If I didn’t have Helen to take care of things for me, my house would be a constant wreck.” He chuckled. “New surroundings are best when you make drastic changes in your life.”

  “Like retirement coaxed you from the big city to a secluded ranch?”

  “Yep. So you dumped the mini-van and purchased that fancy sports model. Made new friends. Got a super job. New place. Started going out on the town. And probably left a string of broken hearts back in Georgia.”

  Kirstin laughed enigmatically. “So, now that you know my life history, tell me about yourself.”

  He steered the vehicle into his driveway as he said, “Later, woman; we’re home and I have work to do. Check your blood sugar; this extra activity might have zapped it.” He parked, came around the Wagoneer, opened the door, and held out his hand to assist her. “I’ll join you in the den in about two hours for popcorn, Coke, and golf.”

  “And a little information about my evasive host and physician?” Kirstin ventured.

  “Yep,” he said with a grimace. “I’ll singe your ears good if you insist on hearing all about me. After you do, I hope you won’t regret asking.”

  Seven

  Kirstin was watching the news on CNN when Christopher flopped down beside her on the short sofa rather than taking the recliner. He sighed as if bone-weary as he leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and allowed his body to relax. She stole a glance at him, then returned her gaze to the television. She hoped he hadn’t changed his mind about opening up to her.

  Christopher turned his head to watch her while he searched for the right words to begin the disclosures- about himself. He worried that his revelations would damage her favorable opinion of him when things were going so well between them.

  “Are you awake or sleeping with your eyes open?”

  She laughed and looked at him. “You finished in the office?”

  “Yep, and all of your tests were fine.”

  “Good, so no other problems to solve.”

  “Not medical anyway. You didn’t have a happy marriage, did you?”

  “What?”

  Christopher shifted his body to face her and his gaze fused with hers. “You weren’t happy with David, were you?”

  “I— “ Kirstin was unprepared for that question.

  “Why did you stay with him so long when you were so miserable? Are you the same woman he married or have you changed since his death?”

  Kirstin took a deep breath as she decided how to answer him. “No, I wasn’t happy, not after the first few years, but you could say I was blindly content. Never again will I live that way. The strange part is, I didn’t know how miserable I was until he died. My life centered around him, our home, and children. With David working so much, I almost reared them single-handedly. I told you I tended my semi-invalid mother for years; I wanted her home as long as possible and as long as I could handle her. David wanted her sent to a nursing home, especially near the end. I didn’t think it was necessary or kind and I loved her dearly. That was one of the first and few times I battled him to get my way. Until he and my mother died and the children left home, I gave to everyone except myself. Never again.”
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br />   After those words came out, Kirstin knew she should explain them. “I don’t resent or regret all I did for them; I loved them and my home; I raised good children; I kept my mother happy and well tended; I was a good wife. But looking back, I know I denied myself personal happiness. I wasn’t all I could have been, should have been, as a person, as a woman. I admit part of the blame is mine; I should have been stronger; I should have grown while I was helping others to do the same.” Let him know what you like and dislike, what you’ll accept and won’t tolerate, what you do and don’t need.

  Kirstin faced forward as she stared into space before continuing. “David was a demanding person, selfish and stubborn. He had a clever way of making others believe he was always right and you were reckless or stupid to argue or disobey. He had a gift, if you can call it that, of being able to cut anyone down to an inch high with a smile on his face.”

  Her speech slowed as she remembered what she was relating. “He could do it without raising his voice or chilling his gaze, and usually without you realizing he had sliced you to ribbons. He was insidious and cruel, but never physically abusive. He was so cunningly charming and persuasive that you never knew what hit you or that you could be right and him wrong. He made you feel foolish or ashamed or guilty if you didn’t do as he said or if you made a simple mistake. He even made you feel that way if you only thought about defiance. I’m not sure how he worked his wicked magic.”

  “I’ve met people like him, Kirstin. They work so subtly and slyly that you fail to realize they’re out for blood, your blood. They work on you with fake smiles and sweetness and cunning words so you feel paranoid or silly if you accuse them or defend yourself. They think cutting you down makes them bigger and more important. Was he like that before you married?”

  “Yes, but he became more skilled at it over the years. I wasn’t the only one blinded by him. Friends and clients were, too. I told you my parents adored him. I was influenced by those Old South beliefs that a woman’s place’ was to marry, have children, and be a fulltime wife, mother, and homemaker without a care for her own needs. My, how things have changed for women over the years, mostly for the better.”