by Layla Hagen
When I stop for air, I have an uneasy feeling that she'll ask for more words; press me for. . . more. Since I barely understand what the hell just went on, I'm in no position to offer more. But she doesn't ask for more than I can give. She pulls me into another kiss, and I give her all I have with this kiss, all I can't put in words. A need awakens inside me within seconds, one that is all too familiar whenever I’m around her. I run my hands down her delicious arse, pressing her body against my hard-on.
She sighs in my mouth, and I lose all self-control in that sweet yet savage way only she can make me lose it.
"I need to be inside you," I say.
"That could be a bit problematic, seeing as we are in a park." I feel goose bumps forming on her skin under my touch. She wants this as much as I do.
"I can drive fast."
Chapter Eighteen
Jessica
"Any recommendations?" I ask Parker two weeks later as he, Helen, and I wait for Dani at her favorite sushi place. Dani and Parker have met weekly ever since the two of us moved to London, but since I was doing my best to avoid him, I slipped out of these meetings as often as I could. Now I am happy to be here. We’re still waiting for Dani before we order.
"The mixed platter is great," Parker answers with a smile.
I’ve slept at his place most nights for the past weeks. After the first week, I was seriously worried I’d overstayed my welcome. Parker hadn’t hinted at anything like that, but I know men.
I was preparing myself to sleep a few nights in my own apartment for a change, when I noticed a box of my favorite cereal in the kitchen. When I thanked him for it, he shrugged, saying he thought this would cheer up my mornings since I hate them so much. But I could read between the lines. His words were an invitation to stay. So I stayed.
“Anyone knows where Dani is?” Helen asks.
“She texted to say she’ll be a few minutes late,” I say. “Maybe she had a hot date.”
Parker glares at me. “You know something?”
I roll my eyes. “No, but you need to relax. You and James. Dani will date eventually, and you have to accept it, even if it's not someone either of you would approve. You know, I hate to tell you this, but every girl will have dated at least one bad boy.”
"Amen to that," Helen says after a few seconds. "Some way more than one. Bad boys are quite addictive, aren't they? I guess it's a case of once you go bad you never go back.”
Laughing, I start flipping through the drink menu. Quite generous, seeing as it's a sushi restaurant. Twenty-six pages. I almost decide on a tequila sunrise when my phone starts buzzing. James. I excuse myself from the table, wanting to take the call outside. Ah, mid-August agrees with London, at least when it isn’t raining. It’s warm, but not hot.
"I have news," he says. "Ready for it?"
"Shoot. I have a menu with twenty-six pages of alcoholic drinks. I'm sure I can find something appropriate whether this is good or bad news."
"I haven't figured out how, but I know where I'll ask Serena to marry me. In London."
Whoa. Talk about whiplash.
"Jessica? Say something. What do you think?"
"I'm thinking that someone should invent a drink specifically for news you don't know if it's good or bad." Serena moved to California almost ten years ago after her sister's death and hasn't returned to London once. Bad memories, I suppose. I'm not sure whether this is such a great idea. "Why don't you take her to the chocolate factory again?" I ask, referring to the one thing that turned me into a James fan for life. He took her on a private tour of a freaking chocolate factory. His chocolate factory. Well, his father's, but that still doesn't make the whole thing any less swoon-worthy.
"Nah, you never do the same trick twice," James replies.
"Better safe than sorry."
James chuckles. "My, my, my. How the mighty have fallen. Since when is that your prerogative? You sound like Parker."
"Maybe we’ve started rubbing off on each other, you know? Isn't that what happens when you date someone who's unlike you in almost every way?" I ask. I try to mimic some of Parker's calculated demeanor in business at my own work place—meaning I try not throttle my boss every time he decides to impersonate Lucifer. I'm also trying to quit smoking. Emphasis on trying.
"Keep me updated if you do decide to bring Serena to London. I'm gonna plan a massive girls’ night out before you propose," I say as Dani arrives. After bidding James goodbye, I head inside with her. As we join Helen and Parker, I try to remember what my sixth-grade teacher used to tell us about opposite forces. Did they attract or repel each other?
***
"We're making some serious progress," I say as we enter Parker's house a few hours later. "I was willing to bet good money you'd grill Dani about dating.”
"You said that would only drive her away, didn't you? I'm doing my best to learn. I'll be the first to admit I don't have any deep insights when it comes to female psychology."
I grin. "You make it sound like it should be the title of a PhD paper."
"It should be. Come to think of it, maybe I should sponsor one. Would make life easier for men everywhere." He gives me a kiss on my forehead. "I'll be in the study for a few hours. I need to make a few phone calls, sorry."
"It's late. Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to call this late?"
"Not everyone I work with is in our time zone."
"Can I come with you?" I ask on a whim. He looks at me with uncertainty. "I solemnly promise I won't sell out any business secrets I might overhear."
He shakes his head, laughing, "It's not that, but it'll be very boring for you."
"Oh no it won't."
The study, a part of the house I like a lot, has so many floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with books that it looks like something from an old Disney cartoon Serena made me watch once. Beauty and the Beast, I think. I wouldn't have noticed the library in the cartoon at all if Serena hadn't pointed it out about six times, telling me how much she wanted one. I was busier admiring the dancing tea set. The fact that we were sixteen when we watched it does make the whole thing a tad embarrassing.
"What are you doing?" Parker asks, looking half-alarmed, half-amused, as I step up on one of the leather chairs.
"Taking a picture of your library to send to Serena. She's going to freak out over it."
I curl in the comfortable leather chair and send her the picture. I focus on Parker next, listening to him making phone call after phone call. I've heard snippets of his conversations before, but this is different. I get to see the whole process of him convincing other people to do whatever he wants. And succeeding in every single case. It's more than just barking orders—though he does that a few times—to a secretary I'm pretty sure is based in London, and hence should be sleeping at this time, or enjoying the time with her family, not taking orders from her manic boss.
But most often his calls are to people who hold positions similar to his own. The calculated tone he uses to negotiate makes the fine hair on my body stand on end. He is used to getting what he wants. And he knows how to get exactly what he wants from everyone.
He oozes self-confidence and power. Nothing screams turn-on more than that.
As I look at him, I try to imagine how he could have once been a bad boy. It's hard to imagine Parker as anything but a businessman, wielding enough power to make anyone do his bidding.
He seems more relaxed, yet still businesslike, during his phone call with James. I smile when I hear James speak. He, too, sounds very detached and businesslike, the very opposite of how he sounds when he talks to me, either about Dani or plotting about the marriage proposal.
It's only after a dozen phone calls that I realize all of them, except the one with James, are about Blakesley Enterprises. Parker finally puts his phone down, shoving it aside on the desk and leaning back in his chair three hours later.
"Sorry it took so long."
"No problem," I say. "Can I ask you something?"
"If I say no,
will that stop you?"
"Not really."
He grins.
"How come you are running your family's business after your brother ran it for so long? I thought the two of you don't get along?"
His grin drops. Parker inhales sharply and grimaces, as if the air would sting him. "You sure you want to hear this story, Jessica? I was kind of hoping I'd get to enjoy you a little while longer before you decided you could do better."
"Why don't you give me more credit?" I ask. "So, how come you took over Blakesley Enterprises? Not that I understand much of business, but the papers said it was in pretty bad shape when you took it over. The word bankruptcy came up a few times."
"It went bankrupt because of me."
"How so?"
"My brother made some lousy investment decisions over the years. I repeatedly warned him he was going to lose his company if he didn't change strategies, but I might as well have talked to the moon. Eventually he got into deep financial troubles. When the banks refused to bail him, he showed up on my doorstep. And you know what I did? I closed it right back in his face. Told him it served him right."
"Why didn't he borrow money from your mom?"
"Pride was one reason," Parker says. "He didn't want Mum to know. Blakesley Enterprises belonged to my dad. After his death, my uncle, Helen's dad, wanted to step in and help, but Mum refused. She ran the company with some advisors. When Robert got out of college, he started working at the company and was running it after two years. He—how do I put it—wasn't the right person for the job."
"Why didn't you get involved? Since it was your father's company and all."
"I didn't want to. By the time I was out of college, I didn't want anything to do with my brother or my mother, and kept myself out of anything involving them—including the company. I shouldn't have. This was my father's legacy."
Despite the cool appearance, I can see just how much this consumes him. He grabs the pen in front of him; his eyes can't hide the shadow that suddenly creeps over them. I'd like nothing better than to kiss him, take his mind off it so he won't torment himself anymore. But I have a feeling he needs to talk about this and let it all out.
"My brother made a lot of risky investments. In the hands of a more skilled businessman, like James for example, perhaps those investments could have brought him a fortune. But I never thought my brother had the necessary skill, and I had no problem letting him know how I felt. I have no doubt he made some of those decisions specifically because I advised him not to. I told you he was very competitive. He was trying to prove me wrong. "
"That's extremely childish," I say, standing a bit straighter in my seat and massaging my foot. "You make a bet with your brother, if you feel competitive. You don't put your business at risk."
"Clearly you have no idea how far men are willing to go if they let their ego drive them. He and I had had our differences over the years, since we were little. He sided with bullies at school against me. When we grew older, he started making a pass at the girls I liked."
"Did it ever work?"
He smiles sadly. "Just with one. It happened to be the only woman I'd ever been in love with."
I suck in my breath. I hadn't expected him to throw love into the mix.
“So what happened? With your brother and that woman?”
"She ran away with him. I could have forgiven him if he cared about her, but he didn't. He broke up with her soon after."
"So, you never fell in love again?"
Parker looks at me intently. "She tried to sell a sex tape of us to the press after my brother dumped her. I hadn’t even known she’d recorded us. She needed revenge and didn't really care how she'd get it. I kind of gave up on the concept of love afterward."
I gulp. So Helen wasn't exaggerating when she said people hadn't proven to be very trustworthy to him.
His shoulders slump a bit.
"I still don't get how you ended up taking over the company."
"I stepped in shortly before it would have been completely ruined."
"And he was okay with that?" I start playing with the hem of my right sleeve absently.
"About the time the creditors really started to threaten him, he gave up and left.”
Parker pushes himself farther from his desk, as if beckoning me to straddle him. I do just that. I walk over to him and climb in his lap, putting my arms loosely around his neck.
"Mum came to see me after he took off. Begged me to take over the company and save it. I took off for California for a few months instead. By the time I came back and made up my mind to take it over, the company was a wreck. So really, the answer to your question is, I probably took it over out of guilt."
I push a strand of his dark blond hair behind his ear. "No, Parker. It's because you are kind."
He snorts, pushing my hand away. "I just told you I bankrupted my father's company by refusing to help my brother out and then by taking off to California instead of facing my responsibilities, and you think I'm kind? That's an interesting yardstick you're using."
I don't give up. "For one, your brother is a horrible person. Just because he was your brother doesn't mean you had to bail him out. Especially when you'd warned him he was in the wrong. And second, you needed time to think. So what? It was a big decision."
When Parker doesn't say anything, I put my head on his chest and interlace my fingers with his. "You know, there are a lot of people around you who think you are a kind person. Serena, for example."
"Serena doesn't know me very well."
"Helen does. And she's very confident that you are kind."
"That's because Helen hasn't met many people who've been kind to her," Parker says, and I hear his heartbeat intensify.
"You know, you will not be any less menacing to the people you do business with if you stop thinking you're a complete asshole."
That brings a rumble of laughter from him.
Playing with a few strands of my hair, he says, "No, you know what makes me think that maybe I'm not a complete asshole? I prefer the word arse, by the way."
I chuckle. "What?"
"The fact that you're with me. That someone selfless like you chose me. You take joy in every simple thing you do or come across. I want to be one of those simple things that bring you joy."
I lift my head from his chest, and press my forehead to his. "You, Parker, are anything but simple," I joke. "So what do you want me to be for you?"
"I want you to be my everything, Jessica," he whispers, and I melt right here in his arms. He caresses my cheek, pulling me into a kiss. His lips coax mine, claiming me, his tongue ravages mine. When we break off, gasping for air, he avoids my gaze, biting his lip as if he doesn't have the nerve to continue talking. I press my thighs against him in silent encouragement. "Everyone needs a light to guide them. I want you to be mine." He pulls me closer to him, burying his face in my neck, his heavy hot breaths grazing my shoulder. "If I asked you to never leave me, would that scare you?" Parker whispers.
"No. It would give me the courage to ask you the same."
Our lips touch again. Not in the same hungry, desperate way as before. Gently, almost fearful. Parker interlaces his fingers with mine, pushing himself against me, deepening the kiss. A kiss that demands everything. Just as he said before.
I've never wanted to give a man everything before. Until now. I want to give him my heart, my soul, along with all of the things I never knew were mine to give away. I want the same from him too. I want it all. The steady fire Serena always talked about—that thing that supposedly lasts beyond the consuming passion. I never sought that before. But I do now.
I want the fairy tale ending I've never believed in.
Chapter Nineteen
Parker
For the next few weeks, both Jessica and I seem to spend our time navigating between heaven and hell. The long hours at the office become more of a drag with each day. I begin to think that saving the company is impossible. Jessica's boss doesn't make life easy
for her, either.
“You really should consider applying for other jobs,” I tell her one night at dinner.
She shakes her head vehemently. “I like my job. Just not my boss. I’m not a quitter. I want to see this through.”
I don’t insist, because I need a clever plan to make her see that looking for something else wouldn’t mean that she’s a quitter. Just that she’s looking for a better opportunity. I think holding on to the job is a form of self-validation for her, and she needs it right now. But one day, I’ll make her see things from my perspective too.
I am so proud of her. She wants to succeed on her own and works hard for it. We spend every night together, splitting our time between my place and hers, hanging out with Dani too. She makes me a better man in every way, and I'd like to think I’m helping her in some way, too.
After work, she'll often ask me for advice, and we even rehearsed a presentation together a few times. As I watched her take me through her presentation notes, sitting cross-legged on the kitchen table, still wearing her work clothes, I had to admit she's no longer the little chaotic girl I first met in California.
She's a woman who knows what she wants and does all she can to achieve it—and be on her best behavior.
When she's in public.
When she's with me, she's all wild and untamed. And I allow myself to be wild with her. No restraints. Not in those moments when I make love to her, or during any moment that belongs only to us. I love every second I spend at her side... even when she drags me through London.
She was not shitting me. There really is a list with London’s prettiest streets, and Jessica wants to see them all. In all fairness, she’s not dragging me with her. I like our little trips through the town. I don’t even know most places on her list.