by D. Kelly
“Thanks. Maybe the three of us can get lunch one day and catch up. If Bexley would be okay with that. Let me know if you guys want to, but if not, no hard feelings. Bye, Tristan.”
“Bye, Maria.”
As soon as the call disconnects, Bexley yells at me. “Why would you do that? You were crazy about her!”
I shake my head and put the phone down. “Did you hear that call? I cared for Maria, but I’m crazy about you!”
She launches herself across the console and kisses me relentlessly. When we finally break apart, she shakes her head. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“We both know I did, and it wasn’t a hardship. I’ve been over Maria for a long time, and I’m definitely not going to mess up the best thing to ever happen to me because she left me an ill-timed message.”
Bexley raises her eyes hesitantly. “I thought Maria was the best thing to ever happen to you.”
With a sigh, I caress her cheek. “Bex, we’ve both dated a lot of people. If someone asked me a month ago, out of everyone I’d dated, who I thought I’d end up with, Maria would’ve been my answer.”
“Then—”
“Shh, let me finish. You’re my person, Bex, and you have been since the day we met. You, in all your sassy, sexy, frustrated glory—you stole my heart. Exploring this side of our relationship has been the most fun I’ve had in my life.”
“Mine too,” she whispers.
“Good, because what I felt for Maria doesn’t even compare to how I feel about you. As much as I cared for her, she’s the generic cereal in this scenario, and you’re the real thing.”
“Are you really comparing me to Fruit Loops?”
With a laugh, I kiss her briefly. “I’m saying you’re irreplaceable, and there is no substitution in this world for you.”
She leans her forehead against mine. “I wish it were Friday, and we were past these dates already.”
“Same. Now let’s get to game night and show your parents how it’s done.”
Maria calling after our fight about Finn threw me for a loop. What are the odds both of us would be confronted by our insecurities on the same day? Between dealing with Finn and Maria, one thing has become clear—Tristan and I are both the jealous type. Finn is a stranger, though, and Maria held Tristan’s heart for a long time.
On the outside, Finn is a sexy man. The women and men in our office will be all over him, so I hope someone catches his eye, and he’ll back off me. But the difference between Finn and Maria is night and day. Maria is a gorgeous Latina woman with a body to die for. Her skin is flawless, and her hair is perfect even straight out of bed. Beyond the physical, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I’m not sure exactly what she does for a living, but I know she’s with a non-profit organization that coordinates medical care for kids in third-world countries. She was the love of Tristan’s life, and he was devastated when she moved.
“Tris, why didn’t you move with Maria?”
He’s just parked the car in front of my parents’ house. “Because you were here.”
My heart races in my chest. It’s too soon to say I love him, but it looks like we’ve both been burying our heads in the sand for a while. “Do you get the feeling we’ve been wasting time by not dating sooner?”
He smiles and laces our fingers together. “I think our timing is just right. Come on. Your mom is staring at us from the porch.”
My mom and dad hug us both as they welcome us inside. Dad ushers Tristan to the family room, and I follow Mom to the kitchen with the wine. She can’t stop grinning.
“Say it.” I urge her to get it out now before she embarrasses me later.
She rummages through the utensil drawer for the wine opener, and once she finds it, she turns her freaky smile toward me. “He was holding your hand. Care to share?”
“We’re dating. Actually, tonight is date number five.”
Her hands immediately fly to her hips, and she’s in full-on mom mode. “Bexley Marie! Why on earth would you waste a date with your parents?”
“Mom! Hush . . . use your inside voice, jeez. I don’t even want the stupid dates anymore. I just want him, but he insists we make it through them all before we can just be a real couple. I’m not going to miss a date night because I already promised you I’d be here.”
Mom’s creepy smile is back. “Why don’t you want the dates?”
“You know why.”
And the smile widens. Ugh, mothers.
“Do I need to remind you that I’ve known this all along? In fact, wasn’t it before you two went to college that I called how this was going to turn out?” she asks.
I reach for the newly opened bottle of wine and pour some into a glass. “We don’t know it’s going to turn out how you predicted. We’re just testing the waters.”
She snorts and proceeds to fill the other glasses. “Testing the waters, my ass. That’s the man you’re going to marry, Bexley. You didn’t believe it then, but you should believe it now. I’m rarely wrong about these things.”
“Please don’t let him hear you talk like that. You’re going to scare him away.”
“It would take a lot more than that to scare me away.”
I down my wine in three big gulps with his words. Could this get any more embarrassing?
“Tristan, did you know that I told Bexley before the two of you went to college you were her soul mate?”
“Mom! Enough!”
Tristan laughs and pours more wine into my glass. My heated cheeks are a dead giveaway to my level of embarrassment. “Ignore her, Tris, please.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I don’t know, I’m sort of enjoying this conversation. I’m curious, have you been planning your long-term seduction of me since then? Or did it start before?”
My jaw drops as I look up at him. “You did not just say that!”
Mom laughs and winks at him. “I’m pretty sure it started the day she broke up with Adam.”
This is not okay. “Dad! Come handle your woman . . . please!”
“Sorry, Bex, it’s the fourth quarter, and the Ravens are winning. You’re on your own.”
Tristan and Mom burst out into laughter, and I finish off the rest of my wine. What was I thinking by bringing him here? They always gang up on me, but this is a whole new level of mortification. “Maybe I should go down the street and hang out with your parents instead,” I say.
Tristan leans down and kisses the top of my head. “You could do that. My mom would probably tell you I’ve been in love with you since high school and used to keep a photo of you under my mattress.”
“Did you?” Heat floods my core at even the thought.
“Nope, but if I’d known we’d end up here now, I might have. But my mom may have convinced herself I did. I think it was easier for her to process my teenage habits if they were due to a crush on the girl down the street instead of the women who lived in my computer.”
An excited gleam flashes in Mom’s eyes. “Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, we told Bexley—”
“Oh my God, Mom, enough! You too.” I poke Tris in the chest. “The two of you feed off each other like a bad habit.”
Both of their eyes twinkle with amusement. I’ve always loved how easily Tristan has blended in with my family, and I with his, but them tag-teaming me isn’t okay.
“Is it too soon to welcome you to the family, Tristan?” Mom teases. She knows I’m about to lose it, so she grabs her wine and blows me a kiss before joining my dad for the rest of the game.
Tristan squeezes my shoulder gently. “I love your family.”
“That makes one of us,” I mutter.
Tris pushes my hair aside and lowers his mouth to my neck. “Hush, you love them to pieces. They’re why you’re such a perfectionist when it comes to love. They’re a hard act to follow.”
“They are.” My admission comes on a sigh
.
“I’m almost afraid to know how many strikes I have against me. Are you still writing them down?” The huskiness of his voice has a firm grip on my libido, but I do my best to shake it off and focus.
It amuses me that he thinks he has strikes. Tristan should know better than anyone that if he had irredeemable issues, I wouldn’t be able to live with him or be his best friend. Nothing about Tristan bothers me anymore.
“I’m keeping notes of all our dates but so far, so good. You’ve got nothing to worry about,” I reply.
“That’s positive.”
“Yup.”
He spins my barstool around and crouches so we’re eye level. “Bex, after the Maria thing—are we still okay?”
“That depends. After the Finn thing, are we okay?”
He chuckles and kisses the top of my hand. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”
“We always have been.”
After a night filled with homemade chili and cornbread, games, laughter, and wine, Tristan and I finally make it home.
We’re at my favorite part of date night—when he walks me to my door.
“Why does tomorrow have to be Monday?” I whine, swaying slightly.
“Monday brings us closer to the weekend, and I’m looking forward to this weekend.”
That’s right—this weekend will bring us to eighth-date territory. “Have you planned date seven yet?”
Tris runs his fingers through my hair, and I moan in delight. “I’m working on it. Thursday after work, just as you requested.”
“Maybe I should just call in sick.”
“Maybe you should keep that option open for Friday, just in case we have a late night.”
“Hmm, good point, Mr. Jacobs. That’s why you own your own business—because you use those big brains of yours.”
Tris shakes his head. “You’re pretty buzzed, but you’re also adorable. Maybe someday you’ll want to use your big brains and finally come join my company.”
Tristan has asked me to be his CFO multiple times, but I’ve always worried about living and working together, and what it might do to our friendship. If we end up together long-term, it could be exhilarating to work side by side—hello, afternoon delight meetings—but the added pressure could also be detrimental to our relationship.
“You’re flashing that wrinkle again. Don’t worry about it, Bex. I know you don’t want to work for me.”
“It’s not that, and stop pointing out my flaws.”
“Who says it’s a flaw?” he asks seriously.
“Okay, my imperfections. Let’s talk about work when I’m sober and after we’ve passed these dates, okay?”
“Anything you want, angel, but for the record, I like your imperfections.”
I ignore how the latter part of that sentence makes me tingle all over. “Why do you call me that?”
His brow furrows. “You don’t like it?”
“I love it, but I’m curious why you chose angel. And also . . . never mind.” I turn away from him and try kicking off my shoes. I’m a bit unstable on my feet, and I trip.
Tristan’s arm wraps around me from behind, and he pulls me flush against his body. “Careful, angel. Let’s lie down, and I’ll tell you a story.”
Storytime in bed with Tristan? Yes, please.
We curl up together with my back to his front, and when I try to face him, he holds me in place. “Stay like this for this story, okay? It’s a rough one.”
I don’t think I like the sound of that.
“The day we met was the best day I’d had in I don’t know how long. No one knows this, but my mom had an affair, and my dad found out about it. They tried to keep it quiet, but whenever they thought I was asleep, they’d argue, yell, scream, and cry.”
I already hate this story. “Tristan, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. They’re better than ever now, but it was hard back then. After a few months of hearing their private issues shouted through the house, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I considered leaving home, but I didn’t have any money or a place to go, and the thought of being homeless and potentially becoming addicted to drugs or ending up a prostitute wasn’t my idea of getting relief.”
He sucks in a deep breath and bile rises in my throat. I think I’m going to be sick because I know without a doubt where this story is going.
“Tris, you don’t have to finish.”
He places a lingering kiss against the back of my neck. “I want to, for many reasons. It got so bad one night. My mom was screaming she wished she never met my dad. The fifteen-year-old kid inside me took that to mean she wished I’d never been born. I was so messed up, Bex. I pulled out my laptop and started researching ways to kill myself.”
Tears stream down my cheeks, and my heart feels like it’s breaking. I don’t ever want to imagine a world without Tristan. I clutch onto his arms tighter as he holds me.
“I’d finally decided carbon monoxide was the easiest way to do it. I was only waiting for the opportunity. My parents were going to therapy, and during their next appointment, I was going to use my dad’s old Chevy to end my pain.”
A sob escapes me, and he sighs against my skin. “Bexley, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He flips me around and brushes my tears away. “This story has a happy ending, you know.”
The smile he gives me is genuine. It’s Tristan’s best smile, his happy one.
“That was the day I met you. The day you decided we needed to be friends. My troubles seemed so minor after that. You landed in my world, parted the clouds, and became my sun. You were my angel. You saved me, Bex.”
My sniffles and sobs slow as he gazes into my eyes. I’m so in love with him, I can’t even think straight.
“I’m not sure if I’ve ever had pet names for anyone before, but I don’t think so. If anyone would have had one, it would’ve been Maria, and she hated them. One thing I do know is you’re the only one I would’ve ever called angel—because that’s what you are to me.”
“What happened with your parents? Did you tell them?” I’m clutching him tighter than I should, but I need to feel him at this moment.
“That same night. They lost it, and we started going to family therapy. I think that’s what brought them closer together actually. The idea of losing me because of their issues put things into a bigger perspective for them.”
“I wish we’d known each other better back then so I could have helped you.”
He chuckles. “Did you hear the story? You’re the only reason I’m still here.”
“What about Adam? Surely . . .”
He shakes his head vehemently. “No, only you. You’re the only one I’ve ever told, aside from the therapist and my parents.”
“And this is why you’re so adamant about not cheating.”
His face contorts into a scowl, and I reach out and caress his cheeks. “Cheating affects everything. I’m not sure how my dad forgave my mom, and I’ve never asked. I don’t think I’d understand, and I wouldn’t want to make him feel bad about himself. But yes, that’s why cheating is a hard line for me. I’d never do it to anyone; I’d rather die first.”
“No dying allowed. I need you too much.” I pull his head toward mine, closing the gap between us, and his lips part as he lets me take control. We kiss slowly, deeply, and with more longing than I’ve ever felt. His hands roam my body. With each dip and curve they caress, he moans softly. I keep my fingers laced through his hair so I can hold him close. Losing myself in Tristan’s love is what I was born for. It’s a feeling I understand to the core of my being. I’m not complete without him, and I never have been.
When we break apart, he inhales deeply. I wonder if he’s trying to suck in the essence of us as much as I am.
“Good night, Bexley. Sweet dreams.” The longing in his voice matches how I feel right now.
“Tristan, stay, please.”
He shakes his head, and his
rejection hits me hard. “Not because I don’t want to. If I stay tonight, we’ll have sex.” He points between the two of us. “Whatever this is between us—right now, I want to drown in it. I want to feel every one of your heartbeats against my chest. I want to be consumed by this connection in the most carnal of ways. I want to slip inside you, hold you down, and have you screaming my name so loudly that the neighbors bang on the walls. If I stay here tonight, I will devour you in every single way, and it still might not be enough.”
Sweet baby Jesus, I may spontaneously combust.
“Okay.” It’s the only word I can manage to speak when all I want to do is ride him until we’re both spent and satisfied.
“Two more dates, Bex. Please don’t let me screw them up.” He kisses me reverently, and my body erupts in goose bumps. Tristan stands, and I miss him already.
“You couldn’t screw up if you tried. Night, Tris.”
When the door closes behind him, I reach for my journal and sit up. I have to get this down before I pass out. Between the alcohol and all the emotions I’m feeling right now, I need the outlet.
The good parts:
My parents love you, and what’s better is you love them too.
You told me your deepest secret. I’m not sure if you realize how much your trust means to me, but in case you’re doubting your decision, I’ll take it to my grave.
You refused to sleep with me, and then you told me why. I’m pretty sure if you’d kept talking, I would’ve come from your words alone.
You want to keep dating. With each date, I learn more about you and about myself. Unlike other men, you talk to me and treat me as an equal. Your feelings are never off-limits to me, and it’s one of my favorite things about you.
You were jealous of Finn. I know that shouldn’t be a good thing, but I hope it means you love me, and I’m not alone in this. BTW, jealous Tristan is hot as fuck. I know being jealous doesn’t feel good, so I’m going to bottle up your expression for a really lonely day and bring out the memory for some naughty fun. I’ll do my best never to make you feel that way again.
I was jealous of Maria. This is good because even though I already knew I was in deep, I now know how far my feelings reach.