ASIN: B000S5GZDS
Price: $16.75
UK MOE Kit, one each: DE-SBM/-CQB/-UKHT/990662BK, Black
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Forget your keys? Forget about it!
By Ryan Stickney, January 4, 2013
I used to always lose my keys and be locked out of my house, and I was always stuck sitting in the cold until my mom got home to let me in. Not anymore! Now with my Blackhawk Dynamic Entry UK MOE Kit, doors windows or walls can’t stand between me and my SEGA, keys or no keys!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Easy to use for all ages
By Ryan, April 1, 2013
My mother-in-law (72) refuses to move into a nursing home, so she stays with us. Due to her poor eyesight, she has trouble getting her house key in the keyhole when she comes home from her daily trip to the shooting range. Thanks to the Blackhawk Dynamic Entry UK MOE Complete Kit, getting Gram-Gram back in the house is as easy as 1-2-SMASH! And with the money that I saved by buying on Amazon instead of local retailers, I can afford to replace the front door on a daily basis. I highly recommend the Blackhawk Dynamic Entry UK MOE Kit.
Horn—Stadium
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003RYUNYY/
3.5 out of 5 stars
Name: Horn—Stadium
ASIN: B003RYUNYY
Price: $1.28
A very loud stadium horn. No batteries necessary. Use by blowing into small mouthpiece; makes very loud noise. Measures 29½” long × 4½” wide and compacts down to 15¾” long! The horn of choice for soccer fans in the stadiums of South Africa.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
49 of 52 people found the following review helpful
Best alarm clock ever
By Petey glenco, August 27, 2010
I would not label this device a toy…it is a lifestyle change. It changes one’s life, full of hum-drum thumb twiddling, into a life where every day is an adventure. If you often find yourself contemplating your life, get this and your life will never be the same. It is good for: drive-by noise making, waking someone up, scaring cats, scaring dogs, scaring anything living, destroying hearing, waking neighbors, portable beer bong. What it is not good for: staying on the down low.
134 of 143 people found the following review helpful
A Horn of Plenty!
By Zolton “Veni. Vidi. Reviewi.”, July 20, 2010
I purchased this product as part of a home-administered hearing test I wanted to perform on my wife and dog. Neither of them seemed to listen to a word I said; I could yammer on until I was blue in the uvula with no response. Nothing but blank stares. So I decided to find out whether they’d actually gone clinically deaf or had just learned to tune me out, by making a series of loud and annoying noises and monitoring their responses. If three weeks of South African sports taught us anything, it’s that soccer is approximately as action-packed as a first date with an Amish chick—and that these vuvuzela things are really, REALLY annoying. Perfect for my experiment. Or so I thought. I started with the dog, waiting until she was asleep to sneak up behind her and give a good blast on the horn. What happened next is kind of a blur, but the encounter ended with a long trail of dog urine leading into the hall closet, from where the mutt wouldn’t come out for the next three days. Apparently, these vuvuzelas are capable of hitting the fabled “yellow note,” at least in mutts. I’m no scientist, but I think it’s safe to say that the pooch can definitely still hear sounds in the “amplified hippopotamus fart” audio range. Now all I have to do is train a flatulent hippo to command her to “sit,” “stay,” and “get out of the stupid closet; I need my umbrella,” and we’re back on track. After some thought, I decided not to test my wife’s hearing with this product, mostly because I don’t want to deal with another mess. She sleeps on our bed—and there’s no telling where her pee trail would lead. Probably to a divorce lawyer.
8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Folk instrument drawing nearly as much ire as the Highland Bagpipe
By James H. Mica, September 7, 2010
The pope has banned these from his future appearances. They will be prohibited at the next World Cup. In a few brief weeks the vuvuzela has garnered the antipathy of the whole world—nearly. This instrument is capable of three tones—akin to the famous bugle. It’s an OUTDOOR instrument. I tried mine right out of the box in the house, and two of the cats are still in therapy. I had planned to replace those windows soon, so they are not a problem; it’s the wife’s china that is the bone (bone china, you see) of contention. I took it to the backyard and attracted elephants in upstate New York. I used it to celebrate the end of summer (in my business, not based on meteorology); two days later we had an unusual monsoon. Don’t try to hit your neighbor over the head with the instrument. It is not that durable. Play your vuvuzela responsibly.
Microwave for One
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1852250437
4.1 out of 5 stars
Name: Microwave for One (Hardcover)
ASIN: 1852250437
Price: $48.93
Description: (not available)
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
More than A Dream
By Alexander, January 2, 2012
A few years back, some time in the late 80s, my late wife took it upon herself to destroy the house and steal most of my belongings, including my best pair of goose-down ear warmers, and left leaving only a small note explaining why. I can’t remember most of the details, but it mostly had to do with the dog, bless her heart, and her snoring. Unfortunately this drove me over the edge, seeing as how the dog died years ago. Searching the house, I came upon one small item she had neglected to take from me: my father’s old microwave. Maybe it was because my parents burnt her favorite tea cozy, but never once had she appreciated them. I spent the next few days fiddling with the damn thing, eventually resorting to the burnt bits of macaroni and butter left over in the thing from my father’s last microwave escapade in ’72. Using the last of my pocket change and a few bucks from the couch, I staggered to the store, starving, and bought a pack of smokes. I used to be fairly proficient in making fire with only a few scraps of paper, so I grabbed the nearest book and tore out a couple of pages. Luckily for me, sweet baby Jesus was smiling on me that day. But enough about me. Microwave for One. The glossy cover gleamed in the sunlight and the reflection of my beaming face smiled right back up at me, accompanied by the beautiful Sonia Allison and her weapon of choice: the microwave oven! The sight of the food on the table in front of her made me delirious, and I was forced to eat my cigarette. The blue-and-white-plaid tablecloth, oh how it called to me. In love, I proceeded to read every page, lapping in the details like moist Jell-O, spinning with joy as the pages fluttered past my gaze and my head was filled with that of microwaves. Oh, microwaves.
59 of 63 people found the following review helpful
WARNING: Does not work if you are more than one!
By Mike R, December 1, 2011
I live alone, so I bought this helpful book a few months ago. It has truly been a blessing by saving me from having a bad case of “The Doubts” each time I microwave anything from popcorn to soup. Never once did I have to worry if I was “doing it right.” Then one day, a friend came over, and I decided to microwave for two. I looked through the book and discovered that nowhere in this book (not even in the lengthy footnotes) was there ANY mention of microwaving for two. NOT ONE WORD! So I got out my trusty calculator and I doubled the cooking times in the book. Bad idea! My popcorn came out burnt and crispy. I won’t even go into describing what my soup came out like except to say that not only would you not eat it, but neither would your cat! (My cat just ignored the overcooked mess.) So, buyer beware: The instructions in this book will work fine for o
ne. BUT NOT FOR TWO!
28 of 28 people found the following review helpful
I no longer fear death
By Arthur B. Babbage, January 22, 2013
I found this book under the floorboards of the house I am currently squatting in. I thought, “What could be the harm?” After all, there was nothing else in the house to read. I soon found myself needing to microwave food every time I ate. Oh sure, it starts simple enough; you boil some water in it or heat up your soup, but pretty soon you can’t even have a plain old apple without putting it on high for 1½ minutes. Last night I found myself microwaving my only friend. God help me.
25 of 29 people found the following review helpful
Now I can all enjoy life again
By Jimmie “Jimmie”, January 11, 2011
If you’ve ever wanted to impress your invisible friends and alternate personalities and show you all what a great cook they really are, then this is the book for you. Thank you, Sonia, for showing me all that life can indeed be enjoyed without any real sense of self-worth.
Pigeon Mask
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BBYGW2Y
4.4 out of 5 stars
Name: Accoutrements Pigeon Mask
ASIN: B00BBYGW2Y
Price: $23.99
Wear this Pigeon Mask to sit on statues or beg for bread by a park bench. This latex mask is so amazingly realistic, your cat will think that one of its bird victims has risen from the grave to exact revenge. Buy a bunch so you and your friends can form your own flock. Fits most adult heads. Bagged with illustrated tag.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Perfect for being anonymous
By Mary, September 22, 2013
Robbed a few banks with it so far; haven’t been caught yet. I like to coo at the tellers when I use this mask.
31 of 33 people found the following review helpful
My life is complete
By Tiny Buffalo, April 30, 2013
I do not remember opening the package when it arrived. My wife said once I wore the mask I was no more, only pigeon remained. Loud pigeon-like coos echo up and down the street; the neighborhood kids either laugh with joy or run in fear. The pigeon has improved my bowling game and even become lead singer in a band. Soon, he says he will rule the world!
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
They have accepted me as their own
By Matt W, August 10, 2013
It is day 15, and the mother pigeon has finally accepted me as one of her own. They do not suspect a thing. Soon I shall be their leader. I will rise to power on the dawn of the great migration. I highly recommend this mask for casual users or professional impersonators like myself.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Payback!
By TCBAZ, September 16, 2013
After seeing this on Amazon I began to planning how I could use this to pay back the world for all the rotten treatment I’ve received over the years. During an evening of heavy drinking, while wearing my Three Wolf Moon Shirt, it came to me in a vision. Soon I put my plan into action. By wearing the Pigeon Mask I could poop on the cars of enemies, real and perceived, and everyone would believe it was just a large, rat-like urban fowl. It worked great for several weeks as I ate extra fiber and only ventured out in the dark of the night. I can’t wait to use it again when I get out in 1 to 5 years!
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Really Works!
By Major Bill, August 19, 2013
Dudes, I have fooled SO MANY suckers into throwing tiny pieces of bread at me while wearing this mask! Order yours today.
3 of 7 people found the following review helpful
DO NOT WEAR AROUND BIRD DOGS!!
By Bulldog, August 24, 2013
I’m finally home after two weeks in hospital. I thought it “would be funny” to put this on, sprinkle some bird scent on me and “surprise” my Brittanies. Well they all were surprised, and then the youngest one broke…
This caused the entire pack to break, and attempt to play tug-of-war with the giant bird that they had found. I was unable to get the mask off, and my screams only seemed to excite them more (they’ve never had a pigeon “squeaky” before).
The doctors say I should be back to normal in another month. Plenty of time for the $500 worth of dog training books to arrive.
Squirrel Underpants
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004I03BCM
3.8 out of 5 stars
Name: Accoutrements Squirrel Underpants
ASIN: B004I03BCM
Price: $7.60
Are you sick and tired of squirrels running naked in the trees around your house? Have you had to hide your children’s eyes when a tiny, furry streaker crosses the sidewalk in front of you? We’ve got the answer: Squirrel Underpants. Each pair of tiny briefs has a 3” (7.6-cm) waist and is made of 95% cotton and 5% spandex. Also good for hamsters, frogs, and gerbils.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
For the Squirrel Who Just Has to Strut
By Lunar Boulevard, August 28, 2013
If you have a squirrel who loves to look sexy and strut their stuff, then these underpants are far and away the best value around. Those pesky skid marks can be hard to wash out, but that’s the price you pay for looking this good. Many animals choose to run around naked, but squirrels can do better. These underpants are the proof.
735 of 749 people found the following review helpful
A style other than briefs would be appreciated
By Timboliah PantsOnFiyah, November 3, 2009
These little ‘tighty whiteys’ will do when the laundry is all piled up and your pet squirrel is far too modest to ‘go commando.’ My squirrel prefers boxers though…these tight little underbritches just don’t seem to have enough room for his nuts.
26 of 30 people found the following review helpful
No more naked squirrels
By Delaney, March 20, 2011
Finally my children can play outside in the yard without fear of seeing a squirrel’s bits and bobs. Because how many times have you been out in the yard barbecuing with friends only to find yourself completely embarrassed when the squirrels come to the yard without even their underwear on. And of course their excuse is always it’s laundry day, or my last pair got snagged on a tree. Yeah, we’ve all heard these lines before. Well now I have a supply of underwear so that when the squirrels come round we can help them cover up. If only there was a brassier for the lady squirrels who need a little more support.
3,404 of 3,472 people found the following review helpful
Not recommended for gay hamsters
By George Takei, August 28, 2013
We thought our friend’s hamster Frederick (he prefers the German Frederick, definitely NOT Fred or, gasp, “Freddy”) would appreciate this gift, as he often complains that “hees business” is always on display, especially as he frolics in his wheel. When we presented the “Accoutrements Squirrel Underpants” to Frederick on his birthday, his disappointment was palpable. “Vell zen,” he quipped crisply, as German hamsters so often do. “Ve are polite and must still appreciate da gesture, no?” Frederick clearly expected something with a bit more “oomph.” Upon our next visit, Frederick had cut the undergarments into a jockstrap of sorts, and he had affixed an Andrew Christian label to it. He had also dyed it a rich pink. He “vas ready fo da gym!” It goes to show: hamsters are ever so resourceful, and gay German ones even more so.
* * *
Customer Questions & Answers
So what about the tail? Do the underpants have a special opening for the tail, or do you tuck it in? Just curious how that will work.
Well, some squirrels do tuck but you’ll never get them to come out of the closet with that. The squirrels in my ya
rd made their own openings in the underpants. They are quite talented with much jealousy from the chipmunks. (But you never heard that from me.) If it’s one thing one does not want to do is piss off a chipmunk. They hold grudges for years. (And they have ways of getting into your house.)
Evelyn Smith answered on August 29, 2013
Is there a more modest undergarment option for the modern Mormon Squirrel?
This question currently does not have a response. Please visit Amazon.com to answer this customer’s question.
Huge House and Cars Poster Print
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0016D6VNK
3.9 out of 5 stars
Name: Justification for Higher Education—Huge House and Cars Poster Print
ASIN: B0016D6VNK
Price: $5.98
Decorate your home or office with high-quality posters. Justification for Higher Education—Sports Cars Poster Print, 36 × 24 is that perfect piece that matches your style, interests, and budget.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Completely Broken, Not Worth Your 8 Dollars
By Ron, February 12, 2013
My kid is a reefer addict who has done nothing but live in my basement since he finished high school 2 years ago. Now all he does is smoke reefer and laugh at his own jokes. I bought him this poster hoping that it would motivate him to become an achiever and a real go-getter in real life. Unfortunately, it didn’t do the trick, and this annoying beatnik is eating all of my food and taking up valuable space where I could potentially put my BowFlex home gym along with more motivational posters. Huge waste of greenbacks. Not a recommended buy.
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
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