4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Revolutionize Your Social Life
By Basil Rathbone “Basil”, December 31, 2012
Are you an American Renaissance Man? An American Original? The last of a dying breed? Do you live your life the way you want to and not the way the yoga-posing, manicure-getting Suits want you to? Do you show up at black tie dinners and weddings wearing jean shorts and your favorite Packers shirt because you’ll be damned if someone else is gonna tell you how to dress? Then I have the pants for you. Nothing says, “Back off, sissy,” like a pair of zebra-striped sweatpants. Perfect for any occasion, from weddings, funerals, keynote addresses, meeting foreign heads of state, and negotiating bilateral Arms Treaties to cracking open some skulls at the bowling alley. You’ll be stylish and comfortable at all times while planting a bold flag of defiance that says, “I will not sit idly by! The revolution starts with me!” Tell your wife to take out the garbage because you’ve got some important struttin’ to do!
Strawberry Slicer
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000XQ18SE
4.1 out of 5 stars
Name: MSC Joie Simply Slice Strawberry Slicer
ASIN: B002451AB2
Price: $4.49
Dress up the simplest dessert with slices of fresh strawberry. This red, strawberry-shaped slicer has seven stainless steel blades and will effortlessly slice strawberries into perfectly even slices. Great for pies, cakes, salads, and garnishes. Cutting area on slicer: 2¼” × 1¾”. Not dishwasher safe.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
233 of 308 people found the following review helpful
AWFUL, MISLEADING, SLY PRODUCT!!!
By N. M., December 10, 2012
I bought this strawberry slicer as I was fed up of the countless hours I spent slicing up strawberries and other soft berries for my husband and two children. I felt such an investment was wonderful for a housewife like me and would certainly improve the lives of my beloved family, too! HOW WRONG I WAS. We got on well at first; when I would come home from the shops, the strawberry slicer would help me unload my bags and we’d discuss hot topics like “celibacy” and “Mitt Romney.” My suspicions were first raised when I saw the strawberry slicer leaving my bedroom one morning. “What are you doing in there?” I asked, foolishly!
“I’m sorry, I was checking for small fruit to slice!” it replied. How naïve I was to trust that strawberry witch. Very soon after, my husband began working from home a lot, often sending me on long and pointless journeys for “condoms” and “watch batteries.” One day, after clearing out the sexual supply store for the tenth time that month, I arrived home early to find him KNEE DEEP IN SLICED STRAWBERRIES WITH THE STRAWBERRY SLICER CLINGING TO HIS NAKED HAND. Needless to say, a messy divorce followed. We must keep civil for the lawyers’ sake, but IF YOU ARE READING THIS, BRIAN, I HATE YOU, AND I HOPE YOU GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE FOR CHRISTMAS.
122 of 163 people found the following review helpful
Made me stop believing in myself
By The Queen of Colors, August 28, 2012
I used this product. And it worked. And I saw how well it sliced the strawberries. And I first I was all like, “Boo-yeah! Take that strawberry!” But then I got to thinking more about it, and I realized that an inanimate object is better at cutting fruit than me. A human being. And then I starting thinking about how many other things inanimate objects do better than me. And eventually, I stopped believing in myself. Now I have no self-confidence, and I have had to turn to a life of screaming for help through vague Facebook status updates.
8 of 11 people found the following review helpful
Yes
By Laughing Basset, April 5, 2013
For years I’ve been biting strawberries like some kind of idiot. Now I’m eating sliced strawberries like the stars of a divine reality show. If my dad could see me now he’d think I was quite the fancy pants, and he probably wouldn’t have shot himself in the face. X
30 of 44 people found the following review helpful
Slicer saved my marriage
By Kindle Queen, January 16, 2013
This Strawberry Slicer saved my marriage. Having spent several hours a day slicing strawberries to keep up with the demand for evenly sliced fruit, my husband said we never spent any time together and wanted a divorce. My strawberry slicer arrived in the post the next day as it ordered itself, a little-mentioned extra feature. It cut my time slicing berries to 0.3 seconds per day, and my husband no longer wants a divorce. Thank you, Strawberry Slicer.
415 of 463 people found the following review helpful
Banana slicers first…now THIS?!?
By SW3K, January 10, 2013
I used to use any manner of objects to slice strawberries…other than a knife. If you’ll read my banana slicer review, you’ll understand that such weaponry isn’t allowed to me as per terms of my probation. Items I’ve used:
1. Karate—this worked well enough for the really huge strawberries…but rather than coming up with sliced berries, I’d say they were more like halved berries. It also gave me sweet, juicy, red hands, as karate chops are similar to blunt force trauma if you’re a strawberry…not a very clean cut at all.
b. Paper—I figured if paper can cut a finger, it should sure as hell be able to handle a damn strawberry. Well…all of those tiny seeds act as a sort of strawberry armor, and the paper dulled immediately. Also, on occasions I was able to avoid any seeds, the paper would become soggy, and I’d have paper goop in my berry bowl when all was said and done. Sure, that’s extra fiber for one’s diet, but personally, I’m very, VERY regular without it.
III. Hammer—I do not recommend using hammers to slice strawberries. I’ve tried multiple sizes and styles and had the following results…
- Ball Peen Hammer—the smaller size of the striking portion of a ball peen hammer seemed like a legit option on larger berries. I ended up smashing a hole in the center of the berry and ended up with what one might describe as a donut-looking strawberry and quite a mess. A lot of the berry was turned into mush.
- Rubber Mallet—this s*** didn’t work at all, unless you like your sliced strawberries on the really pulpy and juicy side.
- Sledgehammer—this bad boy could slice a bunch of berries at one time, but the results were a larger mess than the rubber mallet.
- Jackhammer—these things aren’t exactly cheap or easy to come by. It took a lot of practice to finesse perfect strawberry slices with one of these, but I did it. I had to sharpen the end with a nail file, which took a few months, and honestly the noise complaints from neighbors almost landed me back in the slammer.
4. Shot the strawberries with a gun…it was a pellet gun so my parole officer didn’t send me back up the river. I had to shoot very precisely to get sliced berries, and I feel that the average of 5 shots per berry was just too labor intensive. It also seemed to waste a good amount of the fruit and life-giving vitamins it provides.
So when I stumbled upon this thing for a buck, I was ecstatic! This things slices and dices, except it doesn’t dice. There’s absolutely no frustration with slicing strawberries anymore. I did only give it three stars because it’s pretty crappy at slicing boysenberries or lingonberries. It really only works on strawberries.
76 of 104 people found the following review helpful
PRICEY
By Unemployed…again, August 28, 2012
This product looks nice, but it must be just for royalty. Obviously not everyone can have sliced strawberries, or they wouldn’t be special anymore, RIGHT? Must be nice if you can afford it, MONEYBAGS. I’ll just be over here with the rest of the 99 percent, eating our strawberries WHOLE. This is what’s ruining America. All the fancy pants hedge funders in their thousand-dollar suits lording their STRAWBERRY SLICES over the rest of us. YOUR TIME IS COMING, RICHIE RICH.
24 of 30 people found the following review helpful
Great for wild strawberries
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By sab007, December 20, 2012
Can you say Smultronstället? I now look at Ingmar Bergman’s movie, Wild Strawberrries, with totally new eyes. Life, death, the passing of time, joy. I wish the strawberry slicer would have been around in 1957. I know, I know Bergman would have appreciated it.
Thank Goodness!
By Mrg09, October 29, 2013
I’m really thankful for this product because, and let’s be honest here ladies, the table saw just throws the pulpy mess all over the garage. No strawberries…just a mess. I tried every method of feeding those puppies through the saw too. Carefully (I lost a couple of finger tips. So if you try this method…be careful!) throwing the berries at the saw only gives you uneven slices and we can’t have that. Finally, I’d had enough. I was paying so much in emergency room visits to have my fingers re-attached that I was going broke looking for the perfect sliced strawberry! Not only that, they had to re-attach them so many times, they don’t even sit the right way on my hands anymore! What was I supposed to do!?!?!? I was taken in by the Hutzler 571 banana slicer, but let me tell you, that thing is a dead end. Confusing instructions, the wrong angle, a nightmare! This is the real deal. No more emergency room visits. Nicely sliced strawberries. Now if only I could find something to help with my bananas…
Grow Taller Pills
Check out the real thing: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00B2HA2LM
2.5 out of 5 stars
Name: Grow Taller Pills Grow Tall, 800 mg, 100% Natural, 30-Capsule Bottle
ASIN: B00B2HA2LM
Price: $20.65
These Grow Tall, doctor-approved pills will give you the results of a massive scientific breakthrough. They will increase your height by 1 to 6 inches. There are no side effects like with painful ankle weights. There are no stressful exercises or energetic motions to do. No painful insoles in your footwear and no expensive injections to take. And NO surgery is involved whatsoever. Grow Tall is a unique product, which has been tested and approved and can be described as the easiest and most effective way to gain height. The treatment is so simple, and for those who wish to be taller, all they need do is to take the capsules in a course according to the height they wish to gain. Grow Tall, of course, will work for people of all statures. No matter whether you are a teenager or an adult. An increase of 1 inch to 6 inches can be obtained. Grow Tall has a high success rate, 96 percent for people between the age of 13 and 40 who have used this unique supplement, according to studies. It has proven to be a product for height gain, which of course has increased confidence and the overall well-being of the persons who have made the wise decision to use this unique formula. Users of Grow Tall also have the following benefits:
A stronger and more flexible spine.
An increase in the ability to enhance overall physical fitness and performance.
Balance and posture.
The awareness of mental and physical relaxation.
The reduction in the risk of injuries to muscles, tendons, and joints.
Improved and increased metabolism.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
55 of 64 people found the following review helpful
Pay VERY close attention to the instructions
By Library Jan8tor, February 24, 2013
Okay, long story short (lol, not anymore), I read the instructions wrong. The Amazon listing here says to take 2 capsules a day, which probably gives some pretty reasonable results. With my order I received a slip of paper with similar instructions, but it said I should take 8 capsules a day. There must have been a printing error or just some dirt on the paper because this is TOO MUCH. The local news keeps saying that I’m going on a “rampage” or that I’ve “killed hundreds.” I honestly don’t know how true this is because for the last few days I’ve pretty much just been staggering around my city in a daze. If someone were to tell me I was 100 feet tall I wouldn’t necessarily doubt them because the number of cars I’ve crushed has certainly gone up after taking these supplements. Also, this listing should really warn about tiny men shooting you with miniature weaponry because that’s something that’s happened a whole lot over the past few days. I gave this product two stars because, while my experience has been almost entirely negative, it has actually made me taller, which I guess is all it claims to do.
3 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Too tall
By B182-G4, March 23, 2013
Pills made me too tall. My feet are currently on Earth, but my head and arms are 10812 light years away from home due to my height, and I am sending this message with hyper-faster-than-light Internet that an alien species, on the planet where my head is, has graciously allowed me to use. Do not use these pills unless you wish to explore the farthest reaches of our vast universe. Also, my torso resides in a supercluster right now, and it’s REALLY hot!
36 of 47 people found the following review helpful
“96% success rate MADE IN UK”??? The other 4% is what worries me
By margaret Bernadette, February 24, 2013
First, I think I made a big mistake taking these while lying down. DAAAAMN I need a new belt, or maybe some suspenders. I guess I expected that the pills would know which way was “up.” On the other hand, the description only suggests a 96% success rate of being made in the UK, so maybe I got a bottle that was made in one of the less reputable countries, like Belgium. I wouldn’t ordinarily trust my supernatural growin’ needs to anything but the best back-alley herbs from Manchester or maybe Cardiff, but the price was good enough that I had to take my chances that I wouldn’t get the 1-in-25 pills that are NOT made in UK. (One star for price, one star for mostly succeeding at being made in UK, zero stars for making me grow in the wrong dimension.)
Appendix
Customer Reviews whether humorous or helpful (or both) are a great way for other customers to learn about your experience with products on Amazon.
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The fastest way to rate or review your past purchases is to visit www.amazon.com/ryp on your PC, tablet, or mobile phone.
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Does this camera take good quality pictures in low light?
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On a product page, scroll to the “Customer Questions & Answers” feature. Enter your question in the text box and click “Ask”.
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Answer questions directly within the “Customer Questions & Answers” feature on the product page by clicking “Answer this question”. To answer more questions, click “See all questions” and sort the page by “Unanswered only” to show only unanswered customer questions for the product.
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Did You Read That Review?: A Compilation of Amazon's Funniest Reviews Page 30