by Anne Fraser
‘I don’t want to talk to them.’
Katherine retrieved her mobile from her bag and held it out. ‘Phone them. Now.’
‘No.’
Katherine was tempted for a miniscule moment not to phone Liz and Mike. They might phone the police to return Poppy or at the very least insist Katherine put her on the next plane and she couldn’t bear not to steal a day or two with her child. Her child! She gave herself a mental shake. Of course she couldn’t possibly do that to Mike and Liz.
‘You can’t stay here unless you do. I’ll have to notify the police.’
Poppy got up from the sofa and picked up her rucksack. ‘In that case, I’m off. I should have known you wouldn’t want me either. Jeez, I’m so stupid. You got rid of me once. Why on earth would you want anything to do with me now? I just thought you might have a little leftover maternal feeling—if not a sense that you owe me something at least.’
Katherine knew she was being manipulated, but even so, she couldn’t let Poppy leave. Not now, not like this. If Poppy walked out her life, would she ever get another chance with her again? And under the sullen exterior Katherine glimpsed the lonely, confused child within. It took all her resolve not to march across the room and envelop her daughter in her arms. Somehow, instinctively, she knew that wasn’t the way to handle the situation either. Best to remain calm and reasonable. After all, there must be some reason for Poppy to have sought her out—even if part of her motive was to hurt her adoptive parents as much as possible. She had to tread carefully.
‘Poppy, please. I don’t want you to go, that’s not what I meant. I can’t tell you how...’ her heart swelled ‘...thrilled and delighted I am to see you.’ She gestured towards the sofa. ‘Please, sit back down. Let me phone your parents, talk to them. I’ll ask if you can stay here for a couple of days. It’ll give us a chance to talk...’
Katherine held her breath, her heart beating in her throat, while Poppy considered what she’d said. Now that Poppy was here—here! In front of her! she couldn’t bear not to grab this chance to talk to her, maybe hold her...even once.
Just when she thought her daughter was going to bolt for the door, she dropped her bag again.
‘Okay.’
Relief made her legs weak. ‘Great.’
‘But I’m not going back. Ever.’
‘We’ll talk about it later.’ Katherine sat down then stood up again. ‘Look, why don’t you have a shower—freshen up while I phone Liz and Mike? Then I’ll make us something to eat, okay?’
Poppy’s contemplated her from under her fringe for a few moments before nodding sullenly.
‘I could do with a shower,’ she admitted. ‘I feel as if I’ve been in a sauna with my clothes on.’ Now that she mentioned it, they did have a faint whiff of body odour. ‘Then after that I could do with crashing. Is there a spare bedroom?’
‘Yes. Let me get you some towels for your shower and check that the bed’s made up.’
‘Towels would be good, thanks. I don’t think I brought one.’
Katherine hid a smile. It seemed that Poppy had forgotten to forget her manners. And as if she’d realised the same thing, the scowl returned with a vengeance. ‘No need to make the bed if its not already. I’m so bushed I could sleep in a pig’s pen.’
* * *
As soon as she heard the shower running, Katherine dug her diary out of her handbag. She could still hardly believe that Poppy was here. And wanting to stay. It was what she’d always wished for, but in her imagination it had been organised in advance and arranged to perfection. Fear, excitement, nerves—a whole tumult of emotions coursed through her. But first things first: she had to let Poppy’s parents know she was safe and well. Flicking through the pages until she found Mike and Liz’s number, she sat down on the sofa and rested the phone on her lap. Twice she had to stop pressing the numbers her fingers were shaking so much.
‘Poppy?’ Liz sounded harassed and hopeful when she answered the phone. Katherine could hear an infant crying in the background. That had to be Charlie.
‘No, it’s Katherine.’ It had been years since they’d spoken, all subsequent communication after the adoption having taken place by letter or email. ‘But Poppy is here. Don’t worry, she’s fine.’
‘Katherine? You say Poppy’s with you? Thank God!’ Liz started to cry. Katherine waited until she was able to speak. ‘We’ve been beside ourselves. We didn’t even know if she was alive. She just upped and disappeared. We thought... Oh, God. She’s with you? And definitely all right?’
‘She’s a little travel weary. Nothing a sleep won’t put right.’ It was clear that whatever Poppy believed, Liz did care about her.
‘Where are you?’ Liz continued. ‘We’ll come and get her.’
‘I’m in Greece. Working.’
‘Greece? Poppy’s in Greece?’
‘She found me through my work email.’ Katherine lowered her voice and glanced behind her to make sure Poppy hadn’t suddenly come into the room. However she could still hear the sound of the shower running.
‘She did? Mind you, she’s a bright girl—almost too bright for her own good. That’s why I wanted her to go to university, but she’s not been working... I don’t know if she’s going to pass her A-levels. She’s been going out till all hours despite being grounded and refusing to study. She’s changed!’
Katherine smiled wryly.
‘I gather you’ve had a baby. She seems upset about that.’
‘Charlie? Oh, I know I’ve been caught up in caring for him. He’s such a demanding baby. Not like Poppy at the same age. That doesn’t mean we don’t care about her, Katherine. We love her. She’s our daughter!’
Katherine winced inwardly. As if she needed to be reminded. Liz broke down again.
‘Should we come? No, I can’t. Not with the baby—I haven’t got around to getting a passport for him...Mike’s working... I...’ Liz said between sobs.
‘She can stay with me for as long as she likes.’
‘Oh, that would be a relief. She’d be all right with you.’
They finished the phone call with Katherine promising to keep Liz and Mike informed and also promising to try and convince Poppy to go home if she could. The problem was, Katherine didn’t want her to go.
As she waited for Poppy to re-emerge, Katherine quickly laid the patio table and stood back to survey the results. She cocked a critical eye at the little vase of flowers she’d placed in the centre and hesitated. Too much? Definitely. Hastily she snapped it away but now the plain white tablecloth appeared too plain and unwelcoming so she placed the vase back. For God’s sake, she was more nervous than on a first date—but this was way more important than that. Even with this little gesture she wanted Poppy to know how much she cared.
Hurrying back to the kitchen, she tossed the big bowl of salad and added a touch more seasoning. Was it too salty now? Did Poppy even like salt? Or figs, for that matter? Fish? Was she vegetarian, a vegan? She knew absolutely nothing about her, nothing. Not one single iota about her likes and dislikes. Well, perhaps a simple lunch was the place to find out.
The sound of the shower finally stopped. Nervously Katherine paced the small living room, preparing herself for Poppy’s reappearance. Keep conversation light and simple. Ask questions without probing. Get her trust.
When the front door opened and Alexander walked in, Katherine could only stand and stare at him. With Poppy’s sudden arrival, she’d completely forgotten they’d arranged to go out for lunch.
He strode into the room and gathered her into his arms, kissing her softly on the lips. ‘I’ve missed you.’ His eye caught the laid-out table. ‘Oh, are we eating in, then?’ He grinned. ‘Smart thinking. I have to go and visit a patient later, but I have an hour or two before I need to leave—’
Katherine wriggled out his arms. ‘A
lexander, something’s come up... Could we step outside a minute? There’s something I have to tell you.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘Sounds ominous.’ He studied her more closely. ‘What is it? Something’s really upsetting you. Have there been more meningitis cases reported?’
‘No. It’s not that.’ She took him by the arm. ‘We can’t talk here.
‘Hi. Are you her boyfriend?’ Katherine whirled around to find Poppy, wearing only a skimpy towel, draped against the stairpost. When Katherine looked back at Alexander his eyebrows had shot even higher.
‘I’m Alexander Dimitriou,’ he replied, ‘and you are?’
‘Hasn’t she told you? Well, that doesn’t surprise me.’ Poppy flounced into the room and sprawled on the sofa, her long thin, legs stretched in front of her. ‘I’m Poppy.’ She pointed at Katherine. ‘And she’s my mother. Or should I say the woman who gave birth to me. Not the same thing at all, is it?’
* * *
It was one of those moments when the room seemed to take a breath. Behind her scowl, Poppy seemed pretty pleased with herself. Unsurprisingly, Alexander appeared bewildered, and as for her, it felt as if her legs were going to give way.
‘Would you excuse us for a moment?’ she said to Poppy. ‘Alexander, could we speak outside for a moment?’
Still looking stunned, he followed her downstairs and out to the patio. She closed the door behind them.
‘You have a daughter?’ he said.
‘Yes.’
‘You have a daughter,’ he repeated, with a shake of his head. ‘You have a child and you didn’t even mention her. Why the hell not?’
‘I was going to tell you about her.’
‘When?’
Good question. She had no answers right now. At least, none that would make sense to him.
‘I didn’t know she was coming.’
‘Evidently,’ he said dryly, folding his arms.
‘I probably should have told you before now.’
He continued to hold her gaze. ‘Probably. So where has she been all this time? Most women would mention they had a child and if I remember correctly you told me you were childless.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake,’ she burst out, immediately on the defensive. ‘It’s not as if we— I mean...’ What the hell did she mean? She couldn’t think straight. ‘It’s not as if we made promises...’ Damn, that wasn’t right either.
His mouth settled into a hard line. ‘Fool that I am, I thought we did have something. I thought it was the beginning.’
Had he? He’d never said. But she couldn’t think about that now. Not when Poppy was upstairs, waiting for her. She glanced behind her, caught between the need to return to her child and the need to talk to Alexander. Right now her child had to take precedence. Explanations would have to wait.
‘Can we talk about this later?’ she pleaded. ‘I could come down to the bay.’
He shook his head. ‘I think you’ve just made it clear that you don’t owe me an explanation and I doubt there is anything...’
Poppy chose that moment to appear from the house, wearing a bikini and a towel slung casually over her shoulder.
‘I’m going for a swim,’ she said. ‘Where’s the coolest place to go?’
‘Coolest?’ Katherine echoed.
‘Where the boys hang out. You don’t think I’m going to hang out with you all the time, do you?’
‘The little bay just below the house is quite safe to swim in as long as you don’t go too far out. Actually, perhaps it’s better if you wait until I come with you before you go into the water. And if you’re sunbathing, put factor thirty on. The sun here is stronger than you think.’
‘I’m seventeen, not seven, you know. Besides, don’t you think it’s a bit late to do the maternal thing?’
Katherine winced. ‘I’ve spoken to your mother. She knows you’re with me. She’s been worried about you.’
A faint gleam appeared in Poppy’s eyes, to be replaced almost immediately by her habitual scowl. ‘Serves them right.’
Katherine sneaked a look at Alexander. He looked confused. No wonder. ‘Her mother?’ She saw the dawning realisation in his eyes.
‘Liz wants you to go home. They miss you,’ she told Poppy.
‘Well, I’m not going.’ Poppy pouted. ‘I always fancied a holiday in Greece.’
‘We need to talk about that.’
‘Whatever.’ Poppy yawned, exposing her tongue and, to Katherine’s horror, another piercing. She hid a shudder.
‘I should go,’ Alexander said stiffly.
Poppy sauntered past them and towards the bay.
Katherine turned back to Alexander. ‘I’ll see you later. Or tomorrow. I’ll explain everything then—’
‘As I said, you don’t owe me an explanation. Hadn’t you better go after your daughter?’
‘I had to give her up,’ she said quickly.
‘Did you?’ he said coldly. And with that, he turned on his heel.
* * *
Alexander left Katherine standing on her patio and strode towards his car. He was stunned. How come she’d never mentioned that she had a child? How old was Poppy anyway? At least seventeen. So Katherine must have been around the same age when she’d had her. Had she been too dead set on a career in medicine to contemplate keeping a baby? If so, he’d had a narrow escape. Thank God he’d found out before he’d proposed. He’d never understand how a woman could give up her child.
But what he found harder to forgive was why she hadn’t told him about her. He’d been open and honest with Katherine—sharing stuff that he’d never shared with anyone before—and she’d flung his honesty in his face. He’d let himself believe that finally he’d met a woman who matched up to Sophia, but he’d been mistaken. He’d thought she was pretty damn near perfect. What a fool he’d been. What a bloody fool. He’d come damn close to asking this woman—or at least the woman he’d thought she was—to spend the rest of her life with him. How could have believed he’d find someone as true as Sophia?
He wrenched his car door open with such force it banged against its hinges. Damn.
* * *
If Katherine thought that the evening would be spent chatting with her daughter she soon found she was mistaken. Every time she went near Poppy she’d pick up her book and walk away, and, after only picking at her supper she’d excused herself and gone to bed, slamming the door behind her. Left alone, and feeling raw, Katherine had pulled out her photograph album and picked out the photo of Poppy that had been taken on the beach.
What would her life have been like if she hadn’t relinquished the care of her daughter to someone else? She would have been the one holding her. She would have been the recipient of those ice-cream kisses. It was something she would never know, although she had questioned it then, when her tiny infant had been gently but firmly tugged from her arms, and she wondered more than ever now.
* * *
Early the next morning while Poppy was still asleep Katherine sent a text to Alexander asking him to meet her down on the beach around the corner from her house. She didn’t want to go to his home and she didn’t want him to come to hers. Not when they could be overheard at either. Whatever he said she owed him an explanation.
He replied almost immediately, saying that he’d be there in five minutes. She tied her hair into a ponytail and applied a touch of lipstick and let herself out of the house.
She was sitting on a rock when he appeared. Her heart jerked when she saw the grim expression on his face. What else had she expected? She had lied to him.
‘I don’t have long,’ he said, stopping in front of her, his hands thrust into the pockets of his light cotton trousers.
She leaped to her feet, hating the way he towered over her, making her feel a little like a schoo
lgirl waiting to be told off by the schoolmaster. ‘Thank you for coming,’ she said stiffly.
‘Look,’ he said, ‘I can see you have a lot going on at the moment. What we had was fun but as you pointed out, it was never going to be anything but short term, was it? You have your life...’ he glanced towards her house ‘...back in Britain and I have mine here.’
He’d clearly made up his mind about them, then. She’d thought that after a night to think things over, he’d at the very least be prepared to listen to what she had to say.
‘No,’ she said softly. ‘I can see that now. I came here to explain but if that’s the way you feel...’ She didn’t wait for a response but, blinking back tears, turned back towards home—and Poppy.
* * *
Katherine paused outside her door and waited until she had her emotions under control before going inside. She gasped. It looked as if a tornado had hit it. There were empty cups and plates and a cereal carton scattered over the work surface. A damp towel was in a heap on the floor, along with several magazines. Her daughter’s bedroom was in a worse state. Poppy’s rucksack lay on her bed, clothes spilling from it, some on the floor. Instinctively Katherine began to pick up, folding the clothes as she went along.
She called out Poppy’s name but there was no answer. She quickly searched the small villa and the garden, but there was no sign of her anywhere. Had she decided to go? But where? Back to Liz and Mike? Or somewhere else? It hadn’t even crossed her mind that Poppy might up and leave. But if she had, wouldn’t she have taken her rucksack? So where was she? Panic ripped through her. What if Poppy had ignored Katherine’s warnings and had gone swimming and been dragged out to sea? She should never have left her alone. Underneath that sullen exterior was bound to be a desperately unhappy girl. Katherine had only just got her back and she’d failed her again.
She ran outside but there was no sign of her daughter. However, Alexander was still standing where she’d left him, apparently lost in thought.
She hurried over to him. ‘I can’t find her,’ she said.
‘Who? Poppy?’
‘She’s taken her swimming things but I looked—she’s not in the bay.’ She spread her arms wide. ‘I can’t see her anywhere.’