“Good night, then.” Lizzy smiled before dragging Daniel away.
Brianna knew she should go to bed, but she didn’t want this night to end. Even with Grace’s accident, it had been the best day she’d ever had, so when Andrew asked if she’d like a hot chocolate, she didn’t think twice. “And shortbread?”
“Whatever you like.” He lifted his hand, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear before popping a kiss on her lips and leading her to the kitchen.
Brianna sat on a stool and watched as Andrew made the most amazing hot chocolate ever. Rich, velvety and topped with whipped cream, she thought she’d died and gone to heaven.
“Like it?” He angled his head.
“Love it.”
“Let’s find somewhere cosy to sit.”
“Okay.”
He led her into the drawing room where he re-stoked the fire, put on some quiet Christmas music, and joined her on the couch. “I’m not in any hurry to go to bed.” He slipped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her head.
She leaned into him. “Neither am I.”
“We might see Santa come down the chimney.”
Brianna giggled. “He’s not real, remember. Besides, he might get burned if he comes down this one.”
“You have a point.”
“Tell me more about your travels.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
“It might take all night.”
“I don’t care.”
“In that case…”
For the next few hours, Andrew told Brianna about all the amazing places he’d travelled to, but the one she was most interested in was the walk he’d done in Spain.
“So what made it so special?” she asked him as the clock stuck three.
“I was at a low point in my life. A girl I’d been with for a few years had just ditched me for someone else, and I was looking for something.” He released a slow breath as he stared into the fire. “I felt empty. I could have come home, but I wasn’t ready for that. I’d heard about the walk, and something about it appealed, so I decided to do it.”
He ran his finger around the top of his mug. “I was in Barcelona working in a restaurant, so I packed up and headed for Saint Jean Pied de Port and began walking.” Pausing, he turned to look at her. “It wasn’t so much the scenery, although some of it was awesome, or even the people I met along the way. It was the time I spent alone, just walking, that made it special.”
“I’ve never done anything like that. Hiked on my own.”
Andrew squeezed Brianna’s hand, rubbing his thumb gently over her skin. “It wasn’t easy. I had to push myself often, but I learned the most about myself at the places that were most challenging. That was when God got through to me.” He smiled. “Every night I read a chapter of the Bible and asked Him to be real to me, because even though I’d grown up in a Christian home, I didn’t know Him, I just knew about Him. And every day I prayed David’s prayer from Psalm 63 verse one: ‘O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.’
“And one day, somewhere high in the mountains of O Cebreiro when I was thirsty, hot and tired, with blisters upon blisters on my feet, God spoke to my heart, and I knew then, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He was real. I sat on a rock, all alone apart from some bleating sheep, the air so clean it hurt to breathe, and something moved in my heart. I began to cry. I fell on my knees and gave my life to God there and then.”
Brianna let his words sink in a few moments before she replied. “That’s amazing. I can understand your experience, because mine was similar. Something happened inside me the day your mother led me to the Lord, and any doubt I had that God cared was blown away. I knew that God loved me and wanted me for His own. It still amazes me that He did that. I was the worst person ever.”
Andrew shook his head. “No, you weren’t.”
“I felt like it. I couldn’t understand for a while why He’d bother with me. I was a nobody. A drug addict. A thief. But he loved me enough to send Jesus to die for me.” Brianna pulled out a tissue and dabbed her eyes. “It still blows me away.”
“Me too. His love is amazing, and it must break His heart that so many shun Him, because He just wants to give them a new life. A fresh start. I know it breaks my heart.”
“Mine, too.” Brianna thought of all the rape victims she’d shared her faith with, but how few welcomed God’s message of hope and love. They couldn’t understand His love, and yet, if they only admitted their need, she knew that God would take their hand and give them a much better life.
She leaned her head against Andrew’s chest and he tenderly stroked her hair. She sat up abruptly when Alana crossed her mind. “I’d really like to pray for Alana. I think God’s working in her heart, but she knows so little about Him, and she’s hurting badly. I’ve been praying for the right time to share with her, but it never seems to happen.”
“Sure.” He smiled warmly. “That’s a great idea.”
Andrew bowed his head and listened to Brianna pray. Her voice, so soft, so caring. Just like everything about her. He’d fallen for her, and it seemed she’d fallen for him, but would that change once she knew the truth? Like it or not, he needed to tell her. He should have told her already.
Brianna said Amen and raised her head. In the light of the embers, her eyes flickered and shone. He had to tell her. Taking her hand, he stroked her soft skin with his thumb. “I… I need to tell you something. I don’t know how to say it, so I’ll just blurt it out.”
Brianna’s eyes widened. “What is it, Andrew?”
A knot twisted in his stomach. Not even his parents knew. He’d been planning on telling them, but hadn’t found the right time, but he couldn’t keep putting it off. He ran his hand through his hair. Gosh, he was still coming to terms with it himself. Still digesting the news that had thrown him for six only weeks before. He still wondered if it was true or not, or if he was just being set up. Used. But somehow, he knew it was true. He had a son. An eleven-year old son. Andy.
He braced himself and gazed into Brianna’s eyes. “Brianna, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman… I love your heart, the way you care. I love your gentleness, your depth of character. But I can’t lead you on without telling you that…” His gaze dropped to his lap. Was this the right time to tell her? Was it premature? Presumptuous? Should he wait? If he told her, it could mean she’d run a mile, and he wouldn’t blame her. Or it could galvanise their relationship when maybe it shouldn’t. What if she decided to date him because he had a son, compensating for the one she’d lost? Would he ever know? Would it matter?
He had to trust his instincts. His heart. Somehow, he knew Brianna was genuine. She wouldn’t abuse the situation. Besides, he’d already started the conversation and couldn’t very well drop it now. He lifted his eyes slowly, meeting hers. “I have an eleven-year-old son.”
Hazel eyes held his without blinking; the only sound was the hissing from a log that crackled in the fire. Brief moments passed. He tried to smooth his face into an emotionless mask, allowing her time to digest this news.
She finally blinked. “Where is he?” Her voice was soft, just like her eyes.
“With his mother.”
“Tell me about him.”
Andrew closed his eyes. Images of a sandy-haired boy who bore his own facial features flitted through his mind. Yes, Andy was definitely his son. He opened his eyes and looked up. “Remember that girl I mentioned?”
“The one who ditched you?”
He nodded. “She contacted me a month ago. Came to the restaurant, in fact. She’d seen a feature article in a newspaper with my photo, so she said. She asked for me, and to cut a long story short, we had a drink after work, and that’s when she told me about Andy.”
“You didn’t know until then?”
“No.” He held her gaze.
“Wow. Why now,
after all this time?”
“She’s sick. Dying.” An ache pierced his chest at saying the words aloud. “She’s got cancer.”
“Cancer? That’s terrible.”
“Yes.” He could see Brianna’s mind ticking.
“So, what did she want?”
Blood surged through his veins. “She wants me to look after Andy.”
Brianna’s gaze remained steady. What was she thinking? She angled her head. Moistened her lips. Took her time. She looked deeply into his eyes. “How do you feel about that?” Her voice was gentle. Caring. Non-judgmental. He could imagine her asking a similar question of her rape victims.
He relaxed and answered honestly. “Excited. Scared. I know nothing about raising a kid.”
Her face broke into a wide smile and she clasped his hands. “But you’re great with them. And they love you.”
Andrew let out a nervous chuckle. “That may be, but I’m sure it would be different being a full-time parent.”
“Have you met him?”
He nodded. “Just before I came up here.”
“Do your parents know?”
He grimaced.
“I take that as a no.”
“I haven’t known how to tell them.”
“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to have a grandson.”
“Maybe.” He raked a hand through his hair, blinking rapidly.
“It would be a great Christmas gift for them.”
“I should tell them.”
“Yes.” She held his gaze.
“I’ve been praying about it non-stop,” Andrew admitted. “There’s still a lot to work through, but yes, I think I’ll take him.” He’d said it. Finally. And it felt right.
“You’ll make a great father, Andrew.”
Tears pricked his eyes. Until recently, he’d never thought about having children. Yes, it was true he loved kids, but he’d never had full-time responsibility for any. Never pictured himself being a father, especially to an eleven-year old. Andy would be a teenager soon. What did he know about raising a teenager? Andy seemed like a good kid, but he’d have issues. What kid didn’t? And how would he cope when Shelley died, because die she would, and soon, unless God performed a miracle. But Shelley didn’t believe, so not much chance of that happening. He brushed his eyes and gave Brianna a grateful smile. “Thanks.”
He wanted to ask her how she felt about the news and if this would change anything between them. Not that there was anything between them, yet. Just a few kisses that might not have meant anything to her. Although he sensed they had. Brianna might have been swept up in emotion. He sensed she’d never been kissed before, at least not in the way he’d kissed her, but despite that, she seemed to genuinely care for him. It had been wrong to put her in this position. He should never have let his attraction to her get the better of him. But it had happened, and now here she was, finding out he had a son he was about to take full responsibility for. Would it change anything?
He took her hand again. “I know we’ve only just met, but I really like you, Brianna.” She started to speak, but he shooshed her. “Please let me finish.”
She nodded.
“I don’t know how you feel about dating a man with an eleven-year old son he doesn’t really know, but I’d love it if you’d give it a shot. But I’ll understand if you’d rather not have anything more to do with me.”
A few beats passed before she spoke. “Are you asking me to go out with you? To be your girlfriend?”
“Yes…” Andrew sucked in a breath. Was he about to get the best Christmas gift ever?
“Of course I will!” Her eyes lit up as she threw her arms around his neck.
“Even with an eleven-year old appendage?”
“Even with an eleven-year old appendage.”
Their eyes locked. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He didn’t want to think too far ahead, but an image of the three of them together filled his mind, and deep peace filled his heart.
He lowered his head and was about to kiss her when he heard a noise. He raised his head and chuckled. Four small bodies, all wearing colourful flannelette pyjamas, stood about a foot from them.
Brianna also chuckled, amusement flickering in her eyes as she held out her arms to them. “What are you four doing up?”
“Seeing if Santa’s come,” Clare said, hugging her precious stuffed elephant close to her chest as she slid onto Brianna’s lap.
“We haven’t seen him yet, but he probably won’t visit while we’re here and awake. We might need to go back to bed so he’ll come.”
Dillon began to speak, but Brianna gave him a warning look.
“Is Auntie Grace home?” Clare asked.
Brianna pulled her close and smoothed the little girl’s hair. “Yes, Auntie Grace is home.”
“That’s good. I prayed she would be okay.”
“And God heard you.” Brianna kissed the top of her head.
The three boys moved to the fire and one of them started prodding it with the poker.
Andrew quickly hopped off the couch. “Best not to stir it up if we’re going back to bed.”
“Can’t we stay up?” Dillon asked. “You’re up.”
“Yes, but we were just about to go to bed.”
“No you weren’t. You were just about to kiss Auntie Brianna.”
Ruffling Dillon’s hair, Andrew stifled a laugh. “Maybe I was, but we need to get to bed now or we might all get into trouble.”
Standing, he took Dillon’s and James’ hands, while Brianna placed Clare on the floor and took her hand along with Quinn’s, and they all tiptoed up the stairs, trying not to make any noise. After delivering Dillon, James and Clare to their rooms, Brianna stood on tippy toes and placed a kiss of promise on Andrew’s lips before leading Quinn into the room she shared with him and Alana.
As Andrew walked back into his parents’ wing along the long hallway, his feet felt lighter and his heart overflowed with hope and anticipation. It seemed God hadn’t just given him a son, but He might also have given him someone to share his life with. He was getting ahead of himself, but so far, this was the best Christmas ever.
Chapter 13
Slipping into bed, Brianna pulled the duvet around her neck until she was snuggly and warm. Her heart sang. Blissfully happy, she felt fully alive, and awake. Sleep was needed, because no doubt the children would wake again soon, and she didn’t want to miss the joy and excitement of Christmas morning. But how could she sleep?
Andrew had a son. A son! That’s what he’d been hiding from her. What kind of Christmas would young Andy be having? The last one with his mother… Brianna’s heart ached for him. If anyone knew what it was like to lose your mother as a pre-teen, she did, and she wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. The poor little boy… he must feel so alone and scared.
But filling her thoughts more than that, was that Andrew had asked her to be his girlfriend. To date him!
Suddenly, reality hit her. If things progressed with Andrew, and if he went ahead with his plans of caring for Andy full-time, then she could become the mother of an eleven-year old. Perspiration dampened her body. Throwing off the duvet, she lay flat on her back, gazing at the ceiling. It was one thing to have fallen in love when she’d never expected to, but completely another when it might lead to being an instant mother. What did she know about raising a child? Maybe it was too much. Maybe she should end the relationship while she could. Before it got too hard.
The more Brianna thought about it, the more her mind spun. How could she let Andrew go now? But how could she continue? She released a huge sigh. Prayer was needed. If this was what God wanted, He’d give her whatever skills were required.
Sitting up, she pulled her bed-jacket around her shoulders, bowed her head and prayed quietly, asking God for guidance and wisdom. She also prayed for Andrew, and for Andy. Lastly, she prayed for Shelley, that in her final days before passing, she might open her heart to God’s love, and would experience His peace in her life.
Resting in the knowledge that God would give her the direction and guidance she needed, Brianna finally drifted off to sleep.
Sometime later, her eyes snapped open when little hands shook her.
“Auntie Bianna, wake up. It’s Christmas.” She just made out Quinn’s face in the dark room.
Quickly sitting, she threaded her fingers through her hair and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Six o’clock. Not bad. She must have gotten a few hours’ sleep.
Moments later, a knock sounded on her door, followed by Danny’s cheery voice. “Everybody up. Merry Christmas!” He sounded as excited as a five-year old.
“Is your mummy awake?” Brianna clicked on the bedside lamp and smiled at Quinn.
He shook his head.
“Why don’t you see if you can wake her? I’ll grab my gown then I’ll come help. Oh, and by the way, merry Christmas!” She pulled the little boy close and gave him a big hug.
He ran off to wake Alana, although Brianna suspected he might need help. Alana certainly was a heavy sleeper.
Slipping out of bed, she shivered and quickly grabbed her thick, quilted gown and slippers. A quick glance in the mirror told her she needed more sleep. Running her hands through her hair again, she tied it back loosely, then ducked into the bathroom before stepping into Alana’s side of the room. Alana was stirring and opened her eyes as Brianna approached. Quinn just stood there looking at his mother, melting Brianna’s heart.
“Merry Christmas, Alana,” Brianna said softly as she smiled at her sister, recalling the prayer she’d prayed just hours before, that today Alana would experience God’s love in her life.
Alana yawned, stretched, then pulled Quinn in for a hug. “Merry Christmas, Quinny.” As she kissed the top of his dark, messy hair, she returned Brianna’s smile. “And merry Christmas to you.”
“Can we go downstairs, Mummy?” Quinn hopped up and down like a bunny.
“Yes, Quinny. Just let Mummy get dressed. I’ll only be a moment.” She plopped him on the bed and then grabbed her gown and visited the bathroom.
A Highland Christmas (The Shadows Series Book 5) Page 9