by L A Cotton
“You can do this,” I whispered to myself. But as I went to knock, I realized the door was ajar. “Cameron?” Ducking inside, I was greeted with silence.
“Cameron?” Blood pounded between my ears. It was quiet, the place steeped in darkness. But the door had been open. “Hello?” I called out again only to be greeted with sound of my own heart beating wildly against my chest.
Slipping my hand into my pocket, I clutched my cell phone, just in case, as I moved further into the house. “Cameron?” It was a whisper-hiss this time. But the place seemed deserted. And then I heard it. A gentle murmur. Racing down the hallway, I burst into the kitchen and skidded to a halt. “Cameron?”
He was crumpled on the floor against one of the counters, his face buried in his hands. Slowly he lifted his eyes to me and what I saw there in his gray-blue eyes broke my heart. Cameron Chase, wide receiver for the Raiders, was in pieces. His eyes were red and swollen, void of their usual sparkle, and his fists were bloody and bruised.
“Cameron.” I dropped to my knees and scooted closer to him, taking his hands in mine, inspecting his injuries. “What did you do?”
“It doesn’t matter,” his voice cracked as he dropped his head back against the cabinet.
“These need cleaning, do you have a first aid kit?”
His eyes shuttered as he drew in a ragged breath that I felt all the way down to my soul. I wanted to comfort him, to wrap my arms around him and ask him what was wrong, but something held me back.
“Cameron, a first aid kit?” I said, distracting him, and myself.
“I, uh, yeah, there’s one in the cabinet over there.” He flicked his head, his eyes locking on mine. The intensity in his gaze almost too much to bear.
I found the first aid kit and hurried back to him, kneeling between his outstretched legs. “This might sting.” He hissed as I wiped the blood from his knuckles, the skin angry and shredded. “I hope the other guy came out worse.”
“I’m pretty sure the wall won,” he said flatly, and my stomach dipped.
“Okay, next one.” Silence descended over us as I continued to clean his wounds. Cameron didn’t speak; he didn’t need to—his pain swirled around us like an angry storm. When I was done, I set aside the first aid kit and gently brushed his jaw with my fingers. “Want to talk about it?” I asked quietly, letting my words settle between us.
“Talk?” he scoffed. “I’m not sure there’s anything to say anymore, Hailee.”
My chest constricted. “Try me,” I said with an air of defiance. Because right now, Cameron needed someone. And I wanted to be that person for him.
I wanted to take away his pain and make it my own.
Cameron
“What are you doing here, Hailee?” It was a shitty thing to say when she’d come after me, cleaned my busted knuckles and asked for nothing in return. But now she was asking, and I wasn’t sure I had answers.
Everything was falling apart around me. All week, I’d barely managed to stay afloat, to keep my head above water. And then tonight, on the field, something had snapped.
I’d snapped.
“I...” She wrung her hands together, her eyes darting everywhere but at me. She was nervous, it oozed from her, hitting me like a brick wall. “I was worried about you.” It came out softly as she finally settled her eyes on me. “You got hit and I didn’t know if... and then I saw you storm out of there and I realized I never asked you how your mom was, and I thought—”
“She has a brain tumor.” My chest tightened, the truth squeezing my heart like a vise. I sucked in, trying to get more air into my lungs. I hadn’t meant to spew the words but seeing Hailee rush into the kitchen, the concern shining in her eyes, it broke something in me. Or maybe it fixed something.
I didn’t know anything anymore.
“A brain tumor?” She paled. “Cameron, I’m so sorry.” Throwing her arms around me, Hailee pulled me into her embrace, and I went. I went so fucking easily I knew if anyone could see me they would think ‘what a pussy’. But I didn’t care. Ever since sitting opposite Mom and Dad five nights ago, as they tried to explain to me what was happening, I’d been walking around in a daze. Unable to process the truth, my new reality.
Mom wasn’t depressed, she had a tumor. For four years, we’d watch her lose herself to the mood swings, the highs and lows, and crippling lethargy. But it wasn’t her mind at all. It was some invader, a four-inch tumor compressing her frontal lobe.
Hailee’s hands rubbed my back as I clung to her, fighting the tears that had been stuck in my throat since Saturday. “Cameron,” her voice was quiet. “Look at me.” She gently pushed me away, holding me at arm’s length. “I’m here. Tell me what you need. Tell me what I can do.”
The relief was immediate, crashing over me like an unstoppable tidal wave. All week I’d wanted to talk to Hailee, to confide in her. To just be with her. It had been like wading through quicksand every day being pulled further and further under, threatening to be drowned in my anger and grief and confusion.
I shouldn’t have been at school and I definitely shouldn’t have been on that football field tonight. But Mom and Dad had made me promise I would carry on as normal.
Normal.
That was a fucking joke if I ever heard one.
They wanted me to be strong, to carry the burden and not crumple. But I wasn’t strong; I was breaking at the seams. Slowly coming undone. And wrapped in the arms of the girl who had owned my heart for longer than I cared to admit, I finally let myself fall apart.
“Be with me, Hailee,” I choked out the words from a throat that was raw from all the tears I’d cried. “Just be with me.”
“I can do that.” She gave me an uncertain smile, but it was enough.
In that moment, it was everything.
With no more words, I stood up, pulling Hailee with me and led her up to my room. Mom and Dad were on a rare night out. Doctor Kravis had arranged her surgery for next week, so Dad was insistent they spend some time together. Just in case.
Just in case.
Fuck.
“Cameron?” Hailee asked, as I froze up.
“Sorry, I’m—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” She squeezed my hand before moving ahead of me, pulling me gently toward my room. When we reached the door, Hailee didn’t hesitate to go inside. The air was thick around us, the events of the last couple of weeks weighing heavily on us both.
“Cameron,” she said releasing my hand and turning to me. “I—”
“Come here.” I snagged her hand, tugging her into me until I was staring down into her honey-brown eyes which glittered with nothing but compassion and understanding. “You have no idea what you being here means to me.”
“I went to the locker room,” she admitted. “Right after you left the field. I went to find you. But you’d already left.”
“I needed space. When that blocker tackled me, it was like everything slammed into me. Mom. This thing with you and Thatcher. Xander. It sounds dumb but my life flashed before my eyes and I...” I swallowed. It sounded crazy. But Hailee didn’t look freaked out.
Not even a little bit.
“It’s not dumb,” she said. “You were hurt and given the circumstances... it’s understandable, Cameron. You’re under a lot of pressure and—”
“But that’s just it.” I ran a brisk hand over my head. “I’m under pressure because of football, because of the team. Even with everything that’s going on, my mom and dad were so insistent I keep playing, that I go on like nothing has changed when, really, everything has changed. My mom needs surgery, she could...” Pain overwhelmed me and my eyes shuttered. Hailee’s fingers twisted into my polo shirt as she leaned closer.
“Die,” I forced out the word. “She could die, Hailee.” My head dropped to hers, the weight of the truth almost breaking me.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” she repeated over and over, her face brushing mine as she gently kissed the corner of my mouth. She couldn’t fix th
is, no one could. We had to hand that responsibility over to the doctors at Rixon General and hope to God—pray—they could remove the tumor and give us back Mom in one piece.
I didn’t realize I was crying again until Hailee kissed my cheeks. Fuck, I didn’t cry. I was Cameron Chase, one of the best wide receivers in the state. I went up against some of the biggest, toughest defensive players in the country. But Hailee understood; on some level she got it. And I hadn’t realized how badly I needed someone until this moment.
“Ssh,” she whispered, her voice a gentle caress. “I’m here, Cameron. I’m right here.” Hailee traced my lips with her fingers, chasing them with her mouth until we were kissing. Small uncertain kisses. My hands slid into her hair so I could tilt her face, deepening the kiss, sliding my tongue against hers, needing to be closer.
Needing more.
She kissed me fiercely, demanding the same back, pulling me closer, fitting our bodies together until we were a tangle of kisses and limbs, sighs and touches. I still felt hollow, the agony of what was to come heavy in the pit of my stomach, but Hailee filled some of the void. Each stroke of her tongue a patch on the hole in my heart; each touch of her lips a band aid for my grief.
“Is this okay?” she murmured against my lips, her hands dipping under my t-shirt and running over my warm skin. I nodded, too worked up to talk. I needed this.
I needed her.
More than I would have ever thought possible.
Hailee painted lazy patterns over my skin, taking her time to trace my abs. It was like the first time touching her again; my head clouded with too many emotions, too many thoughts. My body wanted her, my dick straining painfully against my jeans, but she deserved me to be one hundred percent in the moment. “Hailee, wait...” I couldn’t believe I was saying the words.
She eased back, staring up at me, and her expression softened. “It’s okay.”
Taking my hand in hers, she tugged me over to the bed and shoved me down gently. I landed with a thud, falling back on my elbows. Hailee stripped slowly out of her clothes. Her sweater went first, revealing an expanse of creamy skin, followed by her jeans.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I whispered, tracing my eyes over every inch of her. She dropped to her knees and reached for the button of my jeans, before tugging them down my legs, nudging me to lift my feet so she could remove them completely.
My eyes drank her in, the soft curve of her lips, the flush to her skin, as she realized I was commando.
“Do you have a condom?” she asked, and I nodded to the nightstand, my throat dry and my skin hot. Hailee got up and went over to the drawer, retrieving a foil packet, while I yanked off my t-shirt. Then she unhooked her bra and let it drop to the floor, before slipping her fingers into her panties and pushing them over her hips.
“Come here,” I said, unable to disguise the sheer lust in my voice. She came willingly, climbing over my legs so she was straddling me. With one hand pressed into the small of her back, I buried the other one deep in her hair, angling her face to mine as I captured her lips. Hot, wet, desperate kisses. Hailee moaned my name and my dick twitched. I wanted to worship her, to spend my time acquainting myself with every dip and curve of her amazing body. But I couldn’t wait. Not tonight. Not now.
“I need you,” I whispered against her lips.
“So take me,” she replied, gazing at me with lust and love.
Love?
The emotion slammed into me, taking my breath away.
Did Hailee really love me?
Shit, it wasn’t possible.
Was it?
More importantly, did I love her?
Who the fuck was I kidding, I didn’t love her.
So why the hell was my throat dry and my heart beating so hard I thought it might burst from my chest?
Hailee leaned back slightly, tearing the wrapper and rolling the condom over me. My head dropped back on a groan. Fuck, her touch was like kryptonite. But it was nothing compared to the way she felt sinking down on me.
“Cam,” she breathed out, her body a quivering mess.
“I know, baby, I know.” I curled my hand around the back of her neck gathering her hair in my fist, holding her still, needing to savor the moment. The feel of her tight around me, her skin against mine, her curves molded around my hard lines. But Hailee was impatient, rocking against me, the intensity of the position making us both groan.
“I need to move,” she cried, her eyes glazed, skin flushed.
My hand dug into the swell of her hip as she began ride me, working me over and over, pushing away all the darkness until there was nothing but us. The sounds of our bodies moving against one another, our harsh breaths and quiet moans.
Feeling the familiar tingle at the base of my spine, I began to thrust upward, meeting Hailee every time she rolled her hips. “Harder Cam, harder…” she rasped, her nails raking down my chest, the sting taking me closer to the edge. Reminding me that I was alive. That I was here in this moment and that I had to fight.
For my mom.
My future.
My family.
Hailee’s cries built, her pace quickening as she began to lose control. Pulling her hair gently to make her back bow, I dipped my head, sucking the hollow of her neck, nipping at the skin there, pushing her closer to the edge.
“Cam—” My name fell from her lips as she clenched around me, pulling me further into her body, squeezing me so tight I saw stars. I wanted to stay there. To live in this bubble and never leave. But her walls clenched me again, and I fell right over the edge with her, holding her close as my muscles locked up and I came hard.
I knew I’d have to leave eventually, but right there, in that moment, I never wanted to let go.
Hailee
“Good morning.” The deep timbre of Cameron’s voice sent shivers rippling up my spine.
“Morning.” I peeked an eye open, fighting a smile as I stretched my body, my legs brushing his making my tummy clench.
“I was almost scared to wake up, in case last night was a dream.” His eyes lit up with emotion.
Emotion I didn’t want to get too lost in. Not yet. Not when there was still so much going on around us.
“Come here.” Cameron dragged my body closer to his, igniting a fire in my belly. “I could get used to this,” he said.
Burying my face in the crook of his shoulder, I let myself enjoy the moment. I was in Cameron’s bed… again. And it didn’t feel awkward or strange or like I was making a dreadful mistake, one I’d regret later.
It felt right.
“Thank you.” His voice coaxed me out of his chest, and I gazed up at him. “For coming after me last night, thank you.” Cameron touched his head to mine, inhaling a shaky breath.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Looping my arm around his shoulder, I breathed him in, the lingering scent of sex flooding my senses. “Should we expect a visit from Xander any minute?” I asked.
“He had a sleepover at Katie’s, but I should probably warn you my mom and dad are home.” My eyes widened and he smiled against my cheek. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“I don’t know; you tell me.”
“I want them to meet you,” he blurted out, gently pulling away to see my reaction.
“I already met your—”
“I mean officially, Hailee. I want to introduce you to them as my girl.”
His girl?
“Don’t look so worried. This is a good thing.” Cameron stole a kiss from me while I was still reeling from his words.
His girl.
He’d called me his girl.
“But Jason—”
“Will have to get over it. Life’s too short, Sunshine. I realize that now. You never know what’s around the corner and I’m not about to waste another second worrying about what Jase might or might not say because I’m in love with his step-sister.”
“In love…” I choked out. “You love me?” My heart was going to burst out of my chest. He lo
oked so calm, so normal, and I was having an internal conniption.
Cameron’s lip curved, breaking into a wide smile as he chuckled. “You hadn’t figured it out by now? I am completely,”—he kissed me—“and utterly.” Kiss. “Ass over elbow in love with you, Hailee Raine.”
“Oh.”
Oh.
His brow quirked up. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a loss for words. I don’t know whether to be flattered or mildly concerned.” Amusement danced in his eyes.
“I- I think I need a minute.”
“Should I…” He thumbed to the door and began to untangle himself from the sheets, but I wrapped myself around him, dragging him back to the bed. “Wait.”
“Wait?” he smirked. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
“Cameron,” I chided. “You can’t just spring something like this on me and expect me to be okay with it.”
“Well, I was kind of hoping you might feel the same…” He left the words hanging between us as he dipped his head, capturing my lips again. Rolling me onto my back, Cameron pressed the lines of our bodies together, erasing any space—and doubts—from between us.
“I—”
A knock at his door startled us both and Cameron froze above me. “Yeah?”
“It’s just me, Son. Mom wants to know if you’re hungry?”
Heat blazed in his eyes as he hardened between my legs. “I, uh, yeah sure, Dad.” His voice cracked with lust. “But tell her to make an extra plate.”
My cheeks burned as I silently shook my head with disbelief.
“I see …” His dad cleared his throat. “Well, we’ll… hmm, we’ll see you both soon.”
“Sure thing, Dad.”
“Cameron,” I hissed the second his dad’s footsteps grew quiet. “What the hell?”
“Time to meet my parents.” He winked, dropping a kiss on my head before clambering off me and the bed, not bothering to even try and hide his erection.
I wanted to be mad at him, to argue that this was moving too fast, that he was completely crazy. But as I watched him pull on his jeans and a clean tee, I couldn’t find it in me to protest. Because he loved me.