by Lucy Gordon
'All right,' he said, remembering something with relief. 'How about that birthday when we all went to a burger bar. We had a great time, and I got stomachache from eating burgers and ice cream.'
Cindy crowed with laughter. 'Oh, Daddy, you were so funny that night.'
They'd all made silly jokes and laughed madly. It had been a great night out.
'There you are then. Wasn't that your best birthday?'
But Cindy shook her head. 'That was Adrian's birthday,' she said, not complaining but simply stating the fact.
'Oh, yes,' he said awkwardly, 'so it was.'
He had not seen Faye making frantic signals to him. His heart sank. When had he ever been there for Cindy? He hadn't even bothered to keep her photograph, although he had Adrian's, and Faye's too, hidden away in a drawer where nobody could discover it.
Now he remembered the one time he'd had an attack of conscience, buying her some pretty gift in town, only to discover that it was something she already had, without his even knowing. Faye had told him that. Cindy hadn't mentioned it, only rejoiced over her present like someone offered water in the desert.
Under the table he squeezed her hand, and was rewarded by a look of glowing happiness. For her, the past was forgotten, all swept away by the pleasure of his presence now. What must it be like to be able to forgive so easily?
To cover his confusion he raised his glass and said, 'Happy birthday to Mummy!'
Everyone chorused, 'Happy birthday!' and the moment passed.
The rest of the evening went merrily. When it was time to go, the children solemnly took possession of three doggy bags, treasuring them like gold, and carried them out to the car.
'Not on my freshly cleaned upholstery, please,' Garth said faintly.
Nancy had gone to visit her sister. When they drove past the railway station Faye spotted her coming out and they stopped to collect her. As they neared Elm Ridge they were astonished to see two police cars and four men.
'My name's Hallam,' a policeman said as Garth jumped out of the car. 'Your burglar alarm went off in the station. Someone's broken into your house. We're going to investigate.'
Faye and Garth insisted on coming too, leaving the children in Nancy's care. The house was in darkness and looked as always except that the French windows, which opened inward, stood gaping wide.
Quietly they slipped into the dark house and moved up the stairs. A muffled noise came from Cindy's bedroom. 'In there,' Hallam whispered. He took a deep breath and charged into the bedroom. 'OK! Nobody move! You're nicked.'
The silence that followed had a stunned quality. Following quietly, Garth and Faye were aghast to see Barker stretched out on Cindy's bed, regarding them with sleepy surprise.
Hallam spoke through gritted teeth. 'You left your dog out, sir!'
Faye crept tactfully away, pausing in the hall to call Nancy on the car phone, and telling her to bring the children in. She made coffee, which slightly mollified the police. But before they departed, Hallam paused in the doorway to say stiffly, 'Perhaps you'd like to consider having your burglar alarm disconnected from the station, sir? Soonl'
'Who left that wretched animal out?' Garth demanded when they were alone.
'It was you, Mummy,' Cindy claimed reproachfully. 'You called up the stairs, "Barker's in."'
Faye groaned. 'No, I said, "Check that Barker's in." I thought you were going to do it.'
'So nobody did it,' Garth said. 'When he found himself locked out, he simply charged the French windows until they burst open.'
He regarded the miscreant who'd eaten the contents of the doggy bags, and was now making a start on the bags themselves. 'Call yourself a guard dog!' he said accusingly. 'You're supposed to scare intruders away, not open the doors and invite them in.'
'Daddy, are you cross with Barker?' Cindy asked.
'Whatever for?' Garth demanded wildly. 'He's only broken into the house, made a mockery of my alarm system, and turned me into the butt of the local police.' He saw her looking worried and took her into the circle of his arm. 'It's all right, pet. He's forgiven.'
His reward was an eager hug. Even Adrian made a small concession, squeezing his father's shoulder as he went past. Faye followed them upstairs, where Nancy had just finished changing Cindy's bed linen.
'I'm sorry Barker gave you that extra work,' Faye said.
'It's no matter,' Nancy said, casting a benevolent eye on the culprit, who'd trotted up after Cindy. 'The poor dog was lonely.' She scratched Barker's head and he responded with a sigh in which fidelity, forgiveness and noble endurance were perfectly mixed. 'You come with Nancy, darling, and she'll find you a special titbit, to make up for all you've been through.'
CHAPTER FIVE
When Faye had seen the children tucked up she returned downstairs, where Garth was on the sofa drinking brandy. He handed her a glass of sherry that he'd poured for her.
'I thought you might need something to recover,' he said.
'Shall I check that everything's locked up?'
'No, I've just done it. Though it seems a wasted effort,' he observed wryly, 'since we have a dog that's keeping open house. What's so funny?' Faye had given a choke of laughter.
'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I was just trying to recall who said that once we were at Elm Ridge Barker couldn't cause any more trouble.'
Garth grinned. 'He was a short-sighted fool, whoever he was.'
'Oh, dear! That policeman's face!'
He gave a shout of laughter.
'Hush, you'll rouse the house,' she said, but her own mirth was bubbling up. She met his eye and suddenly the joke became hilarious. She leaned back against the sofa and laughed until she nearly cried. To her delight Garth was afflicted the same way. He gripped her hand, and she clasped him back, sharing the moment.
When the attack passed they sat together, giving vent to the occasional chuckle. His glance fell on her hand, still held in his. He grew quite still, then he raised it and brushed it against his cheek.
'What happened?' he asked quietly. 'Once, we were nlways laughing like that. Where did we lose it?'
At first she couldn't answer. His gesture had taken her breath away.
'It disappeared bit by bit,' she said slowly. 'We grew in different directions.'
'But did we have to? Couldn't we have stopped it?'
'I don't know,' she sighed. 'Perhaps we couldn't. We wanted such different things.'
'I never knew that,' he said after a while. 'I thought we wanted the same.'
'I tried to. When I couldn't see things your way, I pretended I did. But the pretence became too much. Something had to give. I know now that I was never the wife for you.'
'I don't believe that,' he said simply.
He raised her hand again, brushing his lips over the back of it. It was a tender, rather than a lover-like gesture. Garth seemed lost in some private dream, only half- knowing what he did. But Faye was intensely aware of his touch, of the sudden beating of her heart, and of a feeling of danger. For a moment she wanted nothing so much as to throw herself into his arms. But she backed away from the feeling.
'It was a lovely evening, wasn't it?' he said.
'It was wonderful,' she told him sincerely.
He looked down at the hand still clasped in his. It was her left, and a band encircled her wedding finger. 'That's not my ring. Did he give it to you?'
'No. I bought it from a market stall.'
'You don't really belong to either of us, huh?'
'Just myself, for a while. I think I should go to bed now. Thank you for a lovely evening, Garth.'
With an almost inaudible sigh her released her. 'Goodnight, Faye.'
She slipped away hurriedly and didn't stop until she'd closed the door of her bedroom behind her. In a few short moments Garth had approached the very heart that she'd shielded against him. She hadn't meant to let it happen, but his gentle, almost wistful, tenderness had taken her by surprise.
The feelings coursing through her were devastatin
g: an irrational sense of happiness, hope, expectancy. Like a giddy teenager, she thought, when the idol first glanced her way. Like herself, ten years ago. Was that why she had the shocking feeling that she'd betrayed Kendall?
But the children needed their parents to be friendly, she reminded herself. When the divorce finally came, they would be happier, knowing that they didn't have to divide their loyalties.
So that was all right, she thought, with relief. She was only doing what was best for Cindy and Adrian and there was no need to feel guilty.
The end of the school term was in sight. The children had started marking off the days and chanting, 'Twelve more days to the holidays. Eleven more days to the holidays. Ten more days…'
'Mummy, have you signed our forms?' Adrian asked one morning as they were leaving the breakfast table. Garth had already departed.
'Forms?' Faye asked blankly.
'The forms about the end of term party,' Adrian explained. 'You're supposed to sign them to say it's all right for us to be home late that day. We have to take them back this morning.'
'Oh, yes, let me find them.'
'I've just put them in front of you,' Adrian said patiently.
'Sorry. Yes. Fine.' Faye hastily signed, aware that her c hildren were giving her puzzled looks.
'Are you all right, Mummy?' Adrian asked.
'Of course I am, darling.'
'It's just that you've been funny lately,' Cindy said. 'You keep going all vague.'
'Nonsense,' Faye said, shaken by her daughter's perception.
'You do, Mummy,' Adrian insisted. 'We say things, and you don't answer.'
'I've got a lot on my mind. Now come on, you kids. I'm going out to warm the engine. You have ten seconds to explain to Barker that you aren't abandoning him for ever. And Cindy, please try to get it through to him this time, because I don't want any more scratch marks on my car.'
She escaped with relief, but she couldn't relax until she'd delivered them to school and could be alone. It was true that she'd been in a strange mood recently. Since the night of her birthday her mind had been troubled, and so had her heart.
Garth had argued and fought her for weeks and she'd held him off. But that night he'd spoken to her quietly and with a touch of wistfulness. For a few minutes she could almost have believed that the man she'd loved still lived somewhere deep in his shell. When he'd brushed her hand against his cheek in unconscious echo of their first date, her confusion had been so great she'd almost snatched her hand away.
She was in more danger now than she'd been since she confronted him two months ago. Suddenly her heart was dreaming impossible dreams, the kind she'd thought she'd put away for ever. Her head was protesting, telling her to see reason, but the voice of common sense was alarmingly faint.
She ought to visit Kendall and let him reassure her. But suddenly she felt unable to look Kendall in the face.
When she reached home she went, as if by instinct, into the room where she and Garth had sat together that night. There was the sofa on which he'd taken her hand…
Her eyes fell on a folder of papers. She'd seen Garth bring it out of his study that very morning, ready to take to work. And he'd left it behind.
Faye snatched up the phone and dialled his office. She was put through to Mary, Garth's secretary, a pleasant, middle-aged woman whom Faye had met several times and liked.
'Mr Clayton is in a meeting and said he wasn't to be disturbed,' she said. 'Can I help?'
Faye was about to tell her about the papers when she was stopped by the memory of a similar incident, years ago. Garth had been annoyed that she'd innocently revealed to one of his staff that he'd made a mistake. It was part of his creed never to show weakness to employees.
'I really do need to speak to him,' she persisted. 'It's very important.'
'Just one moment.'
Mary's voice became fainter, as though she'd turned away. 'It's Mrs Clayton. What shall I do? He said no interruptions.'
From far back in the room Faye could hear another voice that she recognized as Lysandra Bates. 'Go carefully. She's got to be kept sweet. The anniversary range is really important to Garth. I'd better talk to her myself.'
There was a scuffling sound as the phone changed hands, then the woman spoke again in a tone of professional amiability.
'Good afternoon, Mrs Clayton. I'm Lysandra Bates.'
'Yes, we've talked before,' Faye said pleasantly.
'Oh, that hardly counts, does it?' Lysandra said with a small laugh. 'I've been looking forward to meeting you properly, so that we can talk about the arrangements.'
'Arrangements?' Faye asked.
'The publicity arrangements for the anniversary range. It's so delightful that your tenth wedding anniversary coincides with our new range of family houses. I expect Garth has told you that they're going to be marketed with an emphasis on the stability of family life, and a couple who've been married for ten years just epitomizes stability, don't you think?'
Nobody could have guessed from her tone that only recently she'd been shocked to discover that Faye had returned to her husband's home.
'I'm not quite sure,' Faye said very slowly. She was controlling her words, because the thought that was forming in her head was surely too monstrous to be true.
'Well, I expect you find it hard to visualize,' Lysandra Bates conceded in her sweet, icy voice. 'It'll be easier for you when you see everything laid out. The gist of it is that these are houses where couples will want to raise their families, and no one knows that better than the man who built them, and who's celebrating his own tenth wedding anniversary. And, of course, the children. I am right about that, aren't I? You have two adorable children.'
'I do have two children, but I don't want them made a part of any publicity campaign.'
'Well, we can discuss that later,' Lysandra said dis- missively. 'I thought you and I might have lunch one day, to discuss how your anniversary should be presented. My diary's a bit full, but what would you say to the week after next?'
'I'm afraid not.'
'Well, I suppose it's a little far ahead. Perhaps I could squeeze you in-'
'Please don't trouble yourself,' Faye said firmly. 'I'm sure you're much too busy. Good day.'
She hung up and sat there, stunned, thinking how easily she'd been taken in! What a blind fool, to imagine that Garth had changed! She'd known what he was like, yet still she'd let him delude her with a few clever words and a show of attention to Cindy and Adrian.
But underneath he was as bad as ever. No, worse! To exploit his neglected children and his mockery of a marriage, showing the world a false picture of harmony, so that he could make money; even she had never thought he could do anything so monstrous. She could have wept to think of the feelings that had lit up the world for her recently. And it had all been a wicked mockery.
Garth was late home that night and Faye waited until he'd said goodnight to the children before she spoke to him.
'You're very quiet,' he observed.
'That's because I've been doing a lot of thinking.'
'About us?'
'About you. There is no "us", and there never will be.'
Something in her voice made him look at her sharply. 'What's up?'
'I've discovered the nasty little game you're playing.'
'Faye, what are you talking about? What "game"? I'm not playing games.'
'Oh, no, the making of money is deadly serious to you, isn't it? How stupid of me to forget it!'
'What's happened?' he asked quietly.
'I called you at work today. You left your papers behind on the sofa. But you were in a meeting and couldn't be disturbed.'
He made a sound of annoyance. 'I'm sorry about that. They should have put you through. Next time-'
'Garth, it's not about that. It's about the anniversary range-or should I say, the tenth anniversary range?'
He drew in a sharp breath. 'Damn!'
'Miss Bates naturally assumed I knew, since I'm part
of the publicity. I'd have to be, wouldn't I, since you're featuring your happy, united family?'
'Faye, will you just hear me out? I was going to tell you at the proper time, in the proper way.'
'And what would have been the proper time and way to tell your wife that you've been going through the motions of wanting her back so that you could exploit her, and your children? It's all been a wicked pretence; the charming husband, the attentive father-anything to get us back under this roof in time for the press campaign. No wonder you pulled every trick! How could you have sold yourself as the perfect family man while we were living apart?'
'Will you let me speak? It's not the way you think-'
'Garth, you don't know what I think because if you did, you'd shrivel up inside.'
'That's why I didn't tell you before. I knew you'd misunderstand. This isn't a deep laid plot. Actually, it was you who put the idea into my head.'
'Oh, please-'
'It's true. When you came here that first night, everything you said about the tenth anniversary-I'd been searching for an angle for this range and suddenly it all fell into place.'
'And of course you had to make use of it.'
'Yes, I did. You know what I'm like. If a good idea comes to me I'll go for it. You solved a problem I'd been racking my brains over. It was almost like Providence, as though you'd been sent.'
'If that's how you think, I don't wonder you see me only as an adjunct to your business. I came here to talk about the end of a relationship that once meant something to both of us, and you thought Providence had sent me to solve your marketing problems. What were you doing when you kissed me? Conducting a feasibility test?'
'How dare you say that?' he snapped. 'That kiss was real. You knew that at the time; we both did.'
'Nonsense! You were faking. And so was /.'
Garth grew very pale and there was a look in his eyes that she'd never seen before. 'Would you like to prove that, right now?'
'Not now or ever. I'll never kiss you again, Garth. It's over. Finished. If there was any hope we could get back together, this kills it. I'm going to have that divorce, any way I can.'
'All right,' he said unexpectedly. 'I'll give you one.'