by Paul Bellow
"He knows we're here if he's been sending his office furniture at us," I said. "We should go in quietly."
"Screw that," Josh said. "I want to bash the door in before it comes to life."
He lumbered forward and raised his club. The door opened without a sound, swinging out on its hinge. I couldn't make out anything in the darkness inside.
"Get the Wight," Axelrod screamed then ran inside.
He's going to get us killed one of these days.
Josh raced after him. Bernard looked at me.
I shrugged my shoulders then took a step toward the doorway.
"There's nothing in here," Josh said from inside.
I stepped through the doorway and glanced around. Pitch black.
"Can you see anything, Axelrod?" I asked.
"It's empty," he said.
"Maybe he already sent everything out to kill us," Bernard said.
"We need a light," I said.
As if on cue, from across the room, a bright ball of light flickered on.
I turned, along with the others, and saw a dry husk of man wrapped in tattered black robes. The ball of light hung in the air near the raised palm of his left hand.
"What do you want with me?" the Wight Mage asked in a raspy voice.
"I see you're free," Axelrod said as he stood his ground, hatchet in hand.
"You imprisoned me in the history, but I imprison you in the present."
The Wight Mage cackled with laughter as the light went out as suddenly as it had appeared.
"I can't see anything," Axelrod said. "My eyes are adjusting."
"Get a light," I said. "Bernard, you have anything?"
"I'm looking," he said somewhere to my left.
"Be ready for anything," Axelrod said.
What a brilliant strategist, I quipped to myself.
"Here," Bernard said, igniting a torch with flint.
The sudden flame cast strange shadows in the rectangular room. With no furniture or decorations, only wooden walls stared back at us. Creaks in the wood sounded to our right.
I turned. The sounds continued all around us. Even the floors and ceiling were coming to life.
"He's animating the whole building," I shouted.
"The building can't hurt us, can it?" Josh asked.
As if in reply, a board flipped down from the ceiling and slammed into the back of his head.
"Hey," he yelled, his hand moving to rub the spot where he'd been hit.
"Did you see that?" Bernard asked, stepping away with the torch.
Another board whipped down from the ceiling, hitting the light source and sending it flying.
"Burn it down," Axelrod said. "We'll kick our way through the door."
Wood moved up and around the flames, extinguishing the torch. The room fell back into pitch-black darkness. I stepped back, hoping my party members didn't attack me.
"Ouch," Bernard yelled.
"What is it?" I asked.
A board flew up from the floor, whacking me between the legs.
I cried out in pain, dropping my second, smaller sword.
"Grab your weapons," Axelrod yelled.
I reached down only to feel it slip away underneath the wooden floor.
"The shack ate my sword," I shouted.
"It'll eat us if we don't get out of here," Bernard said. "I've found the door."
"Hang on, I'll bash it in," Josh said. "Keep talking so I know where to run."
"I'm over here...wait, the door is moving."
"The door's moving?" I asked, wishing I could see.
"Screw it," Josh yelled as he ran past me in the darkness.
He screamed a stream of barbarian curses after crashing into a wall.
"This wood's tough," he said. "But not tougher than me."
"We need to be smart," Bernard said. "Remember the Deep Purple Worm."
"I don't see what that has to do with anything," Josh said.
"We need to concentrate our attacks and fight our way out of here before we're thumped to death by these random boards."
"Ow," Axelrod cried out. "One of 'em got me."
"Everyone to Josh," Bernard said, taking command.
I walked toward his voice, the Sword of Sands clutched in my hand.
"Over here," Josh said. "Hurry."
"I'm coming," I grumbled.
A board slammed down from the ceiling, but I dodged.
"I think it can sense what we're doing," Axelrod said.
"You're so stupid, Josh," Bernard said out of nowhere.
"Huh?" the half-orc barbarian asked with a grunt.
"You couldn't kill that Deep Purple Worm and you can't kill this simple shack," Bernard continued.
"Cut it out," Josh said. "I'm serious."
"Remember the Worm," Axelrod shouted. "Remember Josh's Orcish incompetence."
I realized they were attempting to get Josh to go into another barbarian rage.
"You know Sarah doesn't even like you, right" I asked, joining in the fun.
"Shut-up, weasel," he said. "When I find you, I'm gonna clobber you."
"As if you could clobber anything," Bernard said.
"Cut it out guys, I'm getting mad."
"You're so stupid, you don't even see what's happening," I said.
"I'll go into a rage, and I don't like doing that," he said.
"You're the weasel, not me," I said, continuing the taunting.
"Enough," he shouted, his breaths coming fast and furious.
He yelled as a board popped up to smack him. Profanities I'd never imagined could be used together came spewing out of his mouth.
Getting him to rage was the easy part. Aiming that anger at the walls would be more difficult.
"Everyone back," Axelrod said. "Give 'em room."
Josh let loose another string of insults based on family members, friends, and the fact he hated yellow. I dodged another board. Axelrod and Josh weren't as lucky.
"Get some light," I called out. "We need to see."
"Working on it," Bernard said twenty or thirty feet to my right.
Josh continued screaming. Another torch flickered to life. I saw Josh grab one board as it flew up to hit him. He growled and pulled it away from the rest of the building.
The wood moaned and groaned as the boards beneath our feet turned into rubber. I struggled to keep my balance as Axelrod fell to the floor and rolled around. The floorboards moved like waves.
Josh yelled then turned to the wall. I watched, hoping he unleashed his fury on the building. He raised his mighty club with both hands then brought it down on the boards. They cracked and splintered.
"Attack the floor," I yelled then drove my sword into the wavy boards at my feet.
Your pierce HITS the animated building for 8 damage.
"I've fallen, and I can't get up," Axelrod screamed as he continued to roll around.
Ugh. Why do bad things always happen all at once?
"I can't do enough damage to stop it," Bernard said from across the room.
He danced and moved with the motions of the floor, staying on his feet like me.
I turned and saw Josh thrashing about, trying to stand. His club rolled by. While he'd managed to crack open a hole in the wooden boards, they were quickly repairing themselves.
"Concentrate on that hole," I said then danced and jumped across the room toward it.
Josh got back to his feet, almost falling again right away. The frustration threw him into an even greater rage. He ran forward and beat on a wall with his bare hands, screaming the whole time.
"This is ridiculous," Axelrod said from somewhere behind me.
I kept moving forward, wondering what I could do to help Josh break through to the other side.
"Move back," Bernard said from behind me.
I turned and saw him holding a wine bottle stuffed with a cloth.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Greek Fire Oil I've been saving for a special occasion," he said then grinned
.
"Watch out," I said to the others. "We're going to burn our way out."
"That's the stupidest idea ever," Axelrod said. "Besides, how are we going to get the barbarian out of the way."
I nodded my head toward Josh. He'd burnt through his rage quickly attacking the living building.
"Move, you big oaf," Axelrod said.
Josh stared down at him, too tired to fight back.
As he stepped away, Bernard lit his Greek Fire in a bottle.
He threw it near the hole in the wall and hit his target dead-on.
The glass shattered, spilling the oil which ignited instantly.
Flames spread quickly, even on the animated wood.
"Keep attacking," Axelrod said, moving forward. "Before the smoke gets too bad."
Thick clouds of smoke were already forming. Some of it blew outside, but the inside of the building filled so fast. Josh kicked the wall where it was burning, almost catching his leg on fire.
A bunch of boards were knocked out of the wall trapping us in, so he kept at it.
"We've got this," Axelrod shouted. "Let's sing the Dwarven Song of Fire."
"Let's not," I said, covering my mouth and nose with my forearm.
The building shrieked in pain as we hacked away at the wood. Josh jumped through the hole he'd created in the wall. Axelrod followed him, managing to avoid the flames.
I ran toward the wall then leaped into the air before nimbly sailing through and rolling to a crouch.
"Show-off," Josh muttered.
"Come on, Bernard," I yelled.
"Keep attacking the house," Axelrod said. "This fight ain't over yet."
He ran forward, hatchet in the air. It came down solidly.
The building stopped screaming, but the virtual flames continued.
Combat is Over!
You get 4,000 xp divided by four party members
You get 1,000 xp
You have 80,141 xp
You need 24,859 xp for Level 10 Rogue -> Bounty Hunter
"Stop killing my possessions," a voice yelled from behind us.
I turned and saw the Wight Mage looking frail and helpless.
"Stop having your furniture try to kill us," I said.
"It's what I do," he said. "What would you do if you were a powerful NPC?"
Bernard stepped next to me.
"You think he was a player?" he asked.
The thought hadn't occurred to me until that moment.
"I don't know," I said, feeling pity for the Wight Mage.
"Doesn't matter to me," Axelrod said, stomping forward.
"Me either," Josh said as he followed the dwarf.
"Hold-up," I said.
"I'm out of mana," the Wight Mage screamed. "Please don't kill me."
Josh stopped in front of the creature and swung his club back like a baseball player.
"Don't do it," I yelled.
Josh stopped, frozen in place.
"It's a spell," Bernard said. "Has to be. I feel no pity for a player who just tried to kill us."
"Yeah," I said. "But it's happening here in Glitch-Land. Maybe he'll die in real life if he dies here?"
"Am I taking this out or not?" Josh asked while still in position to strike.
"Don't kill me," the Wight Mage begged.
"It's casting another spell," Axelrod said. "I see his hands moving. Or what's left of them."
Josh swung, taking off the skeletal head of the Wight Mage and sending it flying.
Combat is Over!
You get 8,000 xp divided by four party members
You get 2,000 xp
You have 82,141 xp
You need 22,859 xp for Level 10 Rogue -> Bounty Hunter
The surrounding illusion faded away, and we found ourselves back in the Mines or Oriam.
"Glitchy isn't even the word to describe all that mess," I said.
"Look," Bernard said, pointing. "It's Sylvar's body."
"We need to get the Wight Mage's treasure then head back to the Pit of Doom," Axelrod said. "We've got a dragon to kill."
"Sarah's not here to cast identify, but I can use my skill to see if there's anything special," I said
"I've got a keen eye too," Axelrod said then walked toward the treasure room.
When I reached the packed room, I whistled.
"That's a lot of stuff," I said, glancing around. "Are you sure the Feathers of Falling and other stuff are still in here?"
"It better be here," Axelrod said. "You start looking, I want to search with Bernard for a secret room.
"Good idea," I said.
He snorted derisively then left, leaving me alone in the room stuffed full of treasure.
A rogue. Maybe Axelrod wasn't the smartest leader? Or he trusted me?
While glancing around the room, something caught my attention.
This looks interesting. I picked up a figurine of an owl carved out of jade. What's that on the base? I moved it closer to my eyes and read the word, "Who."
Even my limited identify skills could recognize a marvelous figuring when I saw one. I checked the stats before looking for the other stuff we needed.
Grey Owl Figurine: This figurine becomes a normal-sized horned owl when the command word is used. The owl communicates with its owner by telepathic means, informing her of all it sees and hears. The transformation can take place once per day, with a maximum duration of 8 continuous hours. If it transforms more than once every 24 hours, it loses its magical properties.
I smiled, pocketing it. As a bounty hunter, an owl would come in handy. The others didn't need to know about it yet. Josh would want to use it to eat the owl or something stupid.
Smiling, I continued identifying all the items to the best of my abilities. The list came out quite impressive. We'd have a bit of help fighting the dragon. We needed it.
7 x Feather of Falling (10,000 gp)
Electrum Cloth Robe set with White Pearl (6000 gp)
Fine Cloth Robe trimmed with Ermine (1000 gp)
Leather Belt set with Turquoise (110 gp)
Ornate Silver Mirror set with Black Pearl (3000 gp)
Heavy Steel Shield (Medium) (Magic) (1170 gp)
Wand of Bill's Strength (1 of 50 charges)
Oil of Bless Weapon x5 (100 gp)
Dwarven War-axe (Medium) (+5 weapon) (2330 gp)
Short Sword (Small) (+10 weapon) (sheds light) (8310 gp)
12 x Topaz (400 gp)
Smoky Quartz (55 gp)
7 x Opal (500 gp)
A pile of various coins had been strewn about the side-chamber, but I didn't count them.
"I'm done," I said as I walked out to the main cavern. "Might not be perfect, but I'm close."
"Fine," Axelrod said. "Let's take what we can carry and get back to the pit. We've got a dragon to slay."
"We can't carry the mirror, but I'm taking the robes," Bernard said, picking them up. "We can sell them for a mint if we ever make it to another city."
"This shield is nice," Josh said, picking it up.
"Can you use it with your two-handed weapon?" I asked.
He laughed.
"This little club? I can use it with one hand too."
"We need all the help we can get for battling that black dragon. The Wight Mage is nothing compared to what we'll be facing soon."
"Sarah will be able to help," I said.
Axelrod frowned.
"If she's alive," he said.
"Don't talk that way," Josh said before I had a chance.
"Whatever. Let's get moving."
As the dwarf walked away, back toward the Pit of Doom, I couldn't decide if he looked more menacing with his mohawk or without any hair. The charred skin did make him look tougher.
"Move it out," he yelled over his shoulder.
I waited for Josh to walk ahead before following behind.
()xxxx[:::: Chapter 24 ::::>
Not So Wonderful Wand
SARAH
You successfully cast identify.<
br />
This is a Wand of Wonder (987 charges)
You have 115/260 mana remaining.
"Oh my," Charlotte said. "That could be dangerous."
I remembered the randomness of our wand of monster summoning.
"You're right, but it's all we've got to play with. I'm saving the rest of my mana for any battles coming up. I'm no good with this staff, and my bow is with the others."
"If you practiced, you would be better," Charlotte said.
"We've been busy." I sighed. "Besides, the magic is working fine."
Charlotte moved on my shoulder. She'd grown large enough for me to feel her. Would she grow too large to ride on me? I pushed the thought aside as she continued to lecture me.
"You need to learn how to spend more evenly throughout the day," she said. "Even with so many charges, this wand could be the death of us."
"Don't speak that way," I said, maybe too harshly.
Charlotte had helped me through more than one situation. I didn't know where in the Tower of Gates I'd be without her help.
"You're looking good," a creepy yet familiar voice said.
I turned, wand in hand, and saw Magi Inyontoo's reflection in the mirror.
"We'll stop you," I said.
He laughed, his black robes rolling like waves in a storm.
"You're funny," he said. "But seriously...you're up to no good, I see."
"I'll get out of here, find my friends, and we'll put an end to your plan."
"Which plan is that?" he asked.
I answered without pause, "All of them."
He smirked, making me want to break the mirror.
"Why are you being like this?" I asked. "If we all worked together, we could get out of this game."
"I already have a way out of the game." He shook his head. "You're dumber than your AI familiar."
"Leave Charlotte out of this," I said.
After so many days, I'd become protective of her.
"By the time I finish my latest plan, both you and her will be dead."
He turned with flourish and walked away into the cloud of smoke in the reflection.
"I don't like him," Charlotte said.
"Me either, but we've got to keep our cool. This wand will help."
The door behind us opened. I turned as Ryu walked in. He stared at me with that irritating smirk on his stupid face. I slipped the Wand of Wonder down the back of my pants.