by Trish Morey
In the months that followed the letters contained more family talk. He was increasingly worried about his brother, and the rift between him and his father over his unhappy marriage, and his anger at the woman who had forced him into it. He still missed Alex madly, he said, and worried that her letters seemed more distant, less personal.
Alex sighed as a single tear squeezed its entry into the world. He’d been right. She’d known about the baby coming by then, and known she couldn’t tell him. Towards the end of the pregnancy she’d found it hard to write at all. It had been too hard to write small talk when she was keeping the biggest secret she’d ever had from the one who had a right to know but wouldn’t want to.
Alex sighed again and turned up one untidily scrawled letter. She looked at the date. He’d sent it after Stavros’s funeral. He must have been crying when he wrote it, and his tears had smudged the ink where they fell. It was such a pained letter. He was mourning for his brother, and at the same time mourning for what they’d lost. He seemed to sense that their relationship was over, and was reaching out in one last bid for Alex to give him something she’d desperately wanted to but now never could.
The one time he’d really needed her, she hadn’t been able to help. The only fair thing she could do was set him free. So the family couldn’t be tainted by another scandalous pregnancy.
There were more letters, but increasingly less frequent after that. Alex skimmed through their content, noted the bitterness that infused his final words.
He’d finished with her. Who could blame him? She’d betrayed his trust. And all because of a secret—a secret bigger than both of them.
Now that secret was almost eight years old—her one link with happier times and a season of love. Eight years old. And on every one of those birthdays she’d looked at Jason and wondered if she’d done the right thing, wondered if she should have told Nick, whether she should tell him now.
But she only had to look at the words of his final letters. He didn’t want to hear from her. He didn’t want anything more to do with her.
And his circumstances hadn’t changed. After what his family had been through they would never believe her child was Nick’s.
She came back to the roughly scrawled letter and its pained contents, and as she read the words over again her heart squeezed so tight that two plump tears rolled down her face, blurring her vision so she barely noticed it when they landed on the page, her tears mingling with his in the smudged ink.
‘Mum—what’s wrong?’ Jason asked. ‘What are all those?’
Alex wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. ‘Oh, just some old letters from a one-time friend of mine,’ she said as she hurriedly scrabbled the papers and envelopes together, without bothering to match letters with envelopes.
‘So why are you crying?’
‘Because I’m happy thinking about those times, silly.’ She rose to her feet, congratulating herself on how light she’d managed to sound, and turned towards her bedroom, the bundle of letters, envelopes and the chocolate box trailing its blue satin ribbon in her arms.
‘Mum?’ he called after her. ‘Who’s Nick?’
Alex stopped dead in her tracks, remembering to plaster a bright smile on her face as she wheeled around. ‘Why do—’ She stopped and felt the smile slide from her face.
Jason was crouched down where she’d been, holding a letter and looking at it quizzically. ‘Was he your boyfriend or something?’
She took a step closer, heart in her mouth.
He is your father.
Her mind framed the words but her mouth refused to make the sounds. God, she needed time to work out how to tell him. ‘Something like that. It was a long time ago.’
‘Before I was born?’
She smiled, and without letting go of her cargo reached out a hand to muss his hair.
‘Yes, before you were born.’ She hesitated, aware that Jason was handing her the perfect opportunity to tell him all about his father and wondering where to start. ‘He was a very special boyfriend, actually. I think you would have liked him.’
But Jason looked as if he’d already lost interest.
‘Okay,’ he said, shrugging. ‘But don’t ever think I’m going to write mushy stuff like that to some girl.’ He screwed up his face and stuck out his tongue as he handed it to her. ‘Totally gross,’ he added, heading off back towards the kitchen, then turning. ‘Oh, I forgot what I meant to ask you. Matt and Jack said I could go fishing with them by myself—if it’s okay with you, that is?’
She smiled. ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘And get that birthday party list worked out too—those invitations should go out soon.’
‘Totally cool!’ he said. ‘I’ll get onto it.’
She watched him happily trot off, confident that all was right in his world, and then she looked down at the letter, curious to see which letter her son had found. It was one of Nick’s early letters, and straight away she caught a glimpse of the lines Jason must have been referring to.
Nick’s words had made her swoon back then. Now they just made her stomach roll with a sense of foreboding she couldn’t shake.
CHAPTER SIX
ALEX headed into the office on Monday morning firing on all cylinders. All Sunday, whether doing the housework, kicking a ball around with Jason in the nearby park or catching up on study, she’d been planning exactly what she’d say to Nick and how she’d tell him of their son.
She’d thought of everything. Every line of dialogue, every possible response from him. She had them all covered. She was prepared for every contingency.
Alex took a deep breath as she opened the door. It wasn’t going to be easy, certainly, but nothing was going to stop her today from telling Nick the facts of his Australian legacy. The first opportunity she had, she was going to shut herself in his office and explain everything.
She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry at the thought of being shut in an office—alone—with Nick. Already her heart had kicked up a beat. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe better to take him for coffee in the outdoor café downstairs—find a quiet table. At least it would be public. At least he couldn’t back her into a corner there.
After that it would be up to him—if he wanted to meet Jason she’d speak to him and arrange it. If he refused to acknowledge their boy then so be it. But at least she would have done what she needed to do.
He was there, sitting in what had used to be Aristos’s spacious office, when she arrived. The Venetian blinds on the glass walls of his office were slatted open and she knew instinctively, without looking in, that he had noticed her arrival and was watching her.
‘Alexandra.’ His rich Mediterranean accent confirmed it as it flowed around her from the office. ‘Good morning.’
Alex paused outside his open door and looked in. He gazed back from his position behind the wide expanse of timber desk. A small man could get lost behind that desk. Not Nick. The table complemented his dimensions, extending the range of his power and influence. This was a man who knew how to rule. This was a man born to power.
Alex suppressed the burn in her throat. Despite all his apparent strength, there was no time like the present. She dipped her head in acknowledgement, unable to smile.
‘Morning,’ she said briefly, knowing there was little good about it. She took a small step into his office. ‘I need to talk to you. Are you free for the next few minutes?’
‘Come in,’ he said, pen poised over the documents he’d been signing. ‘I need to speak to you today too. I won’t be here tomorrow.’
He was leaving. Emotion crashed through her in waves—delight, disappointment and, overwhelmingly, relief. Gone would be the pressure of his everyday presence in the office. Gone would be the memories he brought to life by his touch. Gone would be the need to tell him about Jason…
‘You’re leaving? Going back to Greece?’
He put the pen down and looked up at her. A bare smile touched his lips. ‘You would like that,
would you not? For me to return to Greece? To relegate me to the past once more?’
She gulped—his words were far too close to the truth.
‘Sorry to disappoint you. I’ll be away only a week or so. I think it’s time I saw the rest of the Xenophon properties before I make any long-term decisions. How many are there scattered around Australia—twelve or thirteen?’
‘Fourteen, all up. If you count the shopping centre in Perth the company has just settled on.’
‘Ah, fourteen.’ He thought a second. ‘Maybe a little longer than a week. I will spend some time in each city, talking to the property managers. I thought Sofia would come with me, but she wants to stay. She has a project she needs your help with.’
She nodded with a touch of resignation, more than used to assisting Sofia with her ‘projects’. Past experience told her she’d be doing more of the actual project work herself, rather than merely assisting.
‘And Alexandra…?’
His voice had dropped down a level, taken on a more intimate tone, and now he leaned closer, resting his forearms on the desk, hands clasped.
Her dry throat scratched out a shaky response. ‘Yes?’
‘Look after her for me while I’m gone. Make sure she has everything she needs.’
‘Of course,’ she said, her voice little more than a whisper. ‘Consider it done.’
‘Good.’ He nodded, unclasped his fingers and stretched back in his chair. ‘Now, what did you want to see me about?’
‘Oh…’ Where to from here? If Nick was only going to be away a few days there was no excuse for not telling him the truth about his son right now. And the separation might give him time to get used to the idea. Maybe there was a chance he might like to meet Jason when he got back, before his birthday. Give them time to get to know each other, if that was what they both wanted.
She hesitated. ‘It’s kind of private.’
Nick’s eyebrows rose. ‘You want to close the door?’
She shook her head. Even with the blinds open she didn’t want to be trapped in that office with Nick, to have to tell him across that wide plain of a desk. He looked far too powerful, too strong.
‘No, not here. How about in the courtyard? We’ll get a coffee.’
His eyes narrowed a fraction, as if were mentally assessing her response, and his lips curled up a tad. ‘As you wish. Put down your things. I just have one phone call to make and then I’ll expect you.’
Alex moved to her office, relieved herself of her laptop and briefcase and took a few calming breaths. There—she was committed. Tilly was right, she could do this.
She picked up her wallet. She’d pay her way. She’d owe Nick nothing.
She had turned to leave the office when Sofia sprang through the door and shut it behind her. She was grinning widely, her lips a bright pink slash across her impeccably made-up face.
‘Alex, I need your help.’
Alex’s spirits slumped. Please, not now, she thought. Not now, when I’m all psyched up for meeting Nick. For telling Nick.
‘Can it wait a few minutes, Sofia? I have to talk to Nick. He’s expecting me.’
She moved to go past, but Sofia threw out her arms, blocking her way. Alex caught a blast of the heavy sandalwood scent Sofia used so liberally.
‘No. That can wait. This is too important.’
‘I have a meeting…’ Alex said, pointedly looking down at her watch.
‘Notice anything?’ Sofia invited, ignoring her protest.
Alex took a calming breath while her mind searched for whatever it was that was supposedly so apparent. Then it hit her. The blue stretch trousersuit fitted Sofia like a glove.
‘Of course—your new suit. Lovely.’ It should have registered earlier. Since that conversation last week Sofia had produced an entire new wardrobe. She’d worn something new, and blue, every day.
‘No, silly.’ She waggled her fingers, still outstretched. ‘Notice anything else?’
Alex’s eyes followed the gesture. ‘No, I—’ Then she saw it. The diamond was almost as big as Ayers Rock—or so it seemed as every tiny facet dazzled with reflected light in its brilliance. She swallowed. ‘Wow. That really is something.’
Sofia theatrically dropped her arms down so that her left hand sat uppermost in her other. She gazed down at the ring, admiring the play of reflected light.
‘Thank you. Nick and I will be married as soon as possible.’
Alex’s world lurched. Nick? It took too much energy to remain standing while her brain tried to process the information. She collapsed into her chair before her knees gave out completely.
‘And that’s why I need your help. There’s so much to do, and I can’t bother Nick with it all, with him going away—so will you help me organise the wedding?’
Nick! Getting married! To Sofia?
The girl was staring at her expectantly, the illumination of her new engagement bright in her eyes.
‘Well…congratulations.’ The word came out in a rush as Alex struggled to make sense of her splintered thoughts. Organise Sofia’s wedding? How? How would she cope with finding Sofia the perfect flowers, the perfect gown, only to send her down the aisle with the man she’d once dreamed of marrying herself?
‘Will you? You know I’ve got no one else to help,’ she pleaded, her head tilted to one side. ‘Not any more, anyway.’ Suddenly the eyes that a moment ago had been clear and bright misted over, and dampness clung thickly in her long mascaraed lashes.
The change in the girl’s mood was instantaneous, and Alex realised how close to the edge Sofia was treading. Her brightness was only a thin veneer, ready to shatter any time and reveal the grieving girl beneath.
She scrabbled to find a gentle response, something that wouldn’t hurt Sofia, but could somehow let her back out. ‘I’d love to help,’ she said, ‘but what of my work? There’s so much involved in planning a wedding, especially if there’s not much time.’
‘Nick’s taken care of all that. He said he’s bringing out his own accountant from Greece, so you should have time to help me.’
Ice flushed through Alex’s veins. So that was the plan. This was Sofia’s special project. He was keeping her on to help Sofia organise her wedding. What had he asked?
‘Look after her for me while I’m gone. Make sure she has everything she needs.’
He was marrying Sofia. He’d asked Alex to be his mistress for the duration of his stay and then turned around and calmly offered marriage to someone else. Yet still he expected her to help with the wedding plans. What kind of man had he become? Certainly not one she wanted to share her bed with, let alone her son.
Alex thought of her mission, so fixed in her mind just a short while ago.
How was she supposed to tell him now? Everything had changed. Now there wasn’t just Nick and Jason to consider. Now Sofia had entered the equation. Telling Nick would just create one whole new set of problems, especially coming so soon after his engagement.
‘He has to be told.’
Tilly’s words battled their way uppermost in her mind and Alex bit down on her lip, knowing that none of her preceding thoughts counted for anything in the end. No matter what she personally thought of the man, no matter who he was now marrying, she still had to tell him. She could find excuses for ever. But it didn’t change the underlying truth that he had a right to know.
‘It’ll be fun—you’ll see.’
She looked up at Sofia, so full of hope, so brimming with excitement and yet so perilously close to despair, and she felt awful. She was being selfish. After the tragedy of the past few weeks Sofia had a right to be happy. Even if Alex couldn’t imagine anything less fun, there was at least one way she could help the girl.
‘I’m not sure I’d be the best person for the job,’ she began, ‘but I know a great wedding planner who might be able to help. Do you want me to call her?’
Sofia jumped up and down, clapping her hands, her earlier near breakdown forgotten. ‘Cool! I want to get
started right away. Can you organise an appointment for me today? Any time—let me know. Only there’s so much to do.’
‘Sure. I’ll give her a call.’
Behind Sofia, Nick opened the door. ‘We had a meeting, remember?’
His words sounded short, and his face was dark, as though she’d kept him waiting purposely. Then he saw Sofia and Alex witnessed his face relax, the scowl replaced with a smile as he turned his attention to her.
‘I didn’t realise you were back in the office. Is everything all right?’ He took Sofia’s hand and pulled her closer as he leaned down towards her. Sofia raised her face, her beaming love-filled face full of hope and optimism for the future, and Alex saw him smile back, and then she just couldn’t watch any more.
She didn’t have to look. It was obvious what came next. He was kissing her. He was kissing his future bride—right in front of her.
She had to hand it to him. He was one fast operator. He obviously had no intention of waiting six months for his inheritance. He’d earn his half-share right now, by marrying Sofia. And she was more than happy to go along with it.
Alex took a deep breath, trying to regain some perspective. What was her problem? What Nick and Sofia decided was their business. It shouldn’t matter. It didn’t matter. So why did it feel so wrong?
She sensed the couple move apart. ‘We’ve just been discussing my project,’ said Sofia, sounding more than a little breathless. ‘She’s agreed to help me with a few things, just like you promised, but she’s all yours now. Don’t keep her long, though. She’s got a lot to do today.’ Sofia winked back over her shoulder on her way out.
Alex picked up her wallet and mobile phone, purposely avoiding Nick’s dark eyes and whatever they might tell her. ‘Let’s go.’
He fell into stride alongside her for the short walk to the café and Alex was choked by his presence. She should congratulate him, but the words wouldn’t come, couldn’t squeeze past the lump in her chest. Did he need to be so close? She could feel the heat emanating from him, could catch a hint of his cologne, and she wondered if it was such a good idea to leave the office after all. When their hands brushed Alex started, the zap as effective as any electric fence.