by Trish Morey
‘I know. That’s why I rang the day Jason was born. I looked into his beautiful face and knew you had to be told. So I rang—’ Her voice cracked as she remembered that day, the stresses, the excitement and afterglow of birth, and the anticipation of speaking to Nick and sharing their wonderful news. Only to hear of the family’s shocking tragedy first.
When she looked up his eyes were shiny, blurred behind tears of pain, and she knew he was remembering too.
‘Do you think your family—you included—would have been interested in my news?’ She hesitated. ‘You had suddenly become the heir. When you were the younger brother I had thought it possible—maybe, if Stavros could make it work—that you and me—and Jason—might make a go of it together. But when Stavros died I couldn’t do it to you—not after that.’
‘So it seems Stavros and I have something in common. We both fell for women who were born liars.’
She shook her head.
‘She lied to trap Stavros. I never tried to trap you. I did everything I could to protect you.’
He spun on his heel and looked to the ceiling, his hands clasped behind his head and his chest heaving in air. It seemed like for ever before he turned, and by then the sheen in his eyes had gone and pure steel blazed out from them.
‘But eight years! In eight years you haven’t tried to set that to rights. You have made no attempt to call or send news or even any of this vast photograph collection you claim to have been keeping for me. You have kept my child from me.’
She looked away, hanging her head. ‘I guess that’s how it looks.’ Then she looked up. ‘But that wasn’t my intention, Nick. Never my intention. You have to believe me.’
‘No. I don’t think I should believe anything you say. It seems you have hidden this secret for eight years. What else are you hiding?’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Is there more you should tell me that you haven’t? Has the boy suffered any serious medical conditions? Is he having trouble at school?’
‘What? You’ve seen for yourself he’s perfectly well. And his grades are in the top ten per cent for his age. I have a folder with his school results. Do you want to see those?’
He waved her offer aside with a flick of his wrist. ‘Don’t be so outraged. I can’t trust you to tell me the truth. It’s no wonder I have to ask directly. Expect many more questions as I come to learn about my son.’
‘Our son.’
His lips curled into a sardonic smile as he took a couple of steps towards her. ‘Oh? So now he’s “our” son? How very generous of you.’
She shrugged off his sarcasm. He had a right to feel aggrieved, after all. Though that was no reason to forget Jason was still her son too. ‘I know you have some catching up to do. We’ll have to make some arrangements. You can visit any time you like. I’m sure Jason would like that.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m sure he would. But I think after all this time we both deserve more.’
A cold sliver of fear wedged its way down her spine. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Simple. You’ve had my son for eight years. Now it’s my turn. I’m taking him home to Greece.’
CHAPTER TEN
‘NO! YOU can’t do that!’
Pure dread clutched at her heart.
‘Why not? I see a certain symmetry in the plan—a certain equity, wouldn’t you say? Eight years with you—eight years with me. You can come and collect him on his sixteenth birthday—if he still remembers you.’
‘You can’t mean that!’
His lip curled at the edge and he shook his head fractionally. ‘You really believe I have become such a monster? Well, maybe I have.’
He turned his head away, so he wouldn’t be distracted by the panic in her eyes, the ice-blue terror he could see welling there. But there was no other way. She’d given him no choice—not after what she’d done.
He would make it as easy as possible for the boy—Dimitri would have contacts. He’d arrange the best care, the best school. He’d find the top soccer coaches. His son would have the best of everything.
And he would have his son.
He turned back, his mind made up.
‘The boy will come with me.’
‘All the way to Greece? How can you do that to him? Don’t you realise what a shock that will be for him?’
‘But, my dear Alexandra, don’t you appreciate what a good job you’ve done in preparing him for this? He plays soccer, our national sport, and he’s already speaking Greek. He will be right at home.’
‘But this is his home!’
He looked around, as if assessing and finding it lacking. ‘I can give him more. I can give him his birthright. He doesn’t need to live like this.’
Fingernails biting into her palms, Alex struggled to remember to breathe.
‘Like what, exactly?’
He shrugged. ‘All these years you’ve been doing it tough, getting by with what you have. Jason deserves better—he could have so much more—he should have so much more. I can give it to him.’
‘That’s not fair. There’s more to life than money.’
‘Don’t talk to me about fair! You kept my child secret for eight years. Denied me what is rightfully mine. You’re the least qualified person to decide what is and what isn’t fair. My son is coming to Greece. It’s settled. I’ll make the arrangements.’
‘You can’t just do that. He can’t go. He doesn’t even have a passport.’
That took him by surprise, she could see. He wouldn’t have imagined for a minute that Jason wouldn’t have a passport.
‘How long will it take to get one?’
‘One week, maybe two—if I agree to sign the papers.’
He moved up next to her and held the back of her head with his hand, so that she couldn’t look anywhere but into his deep, dark eyes. Her hands pressed against his chest. She could feel the hard nub of his nipples with her fingers as she tried to stop her body colliding full length with his.
She could feel his heartbeat, slow and strong under her fingers, and knew that her own was beating crazily at least at twice the rate. For a second she thought he was going to kiss her, and confusion muddied her thoughts. Her lips parted, though whether it was from anticipation or the shock of his sudden proximity she couldn’t be sure.
But instead of his mouth he brushed one finger over her lips, and breath infused with the scent of him stuck in her throat.
‘Oh, you’ll sign. You’ve got a lot to make up for.’
From outside came the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Nick’s eyes were drawn to the window, but Alex didn’t need to look to realise Tilly and Jason were back already.
‘Ah, my son is back,’ announced Nick, letting her go and moving away. ‘I take it you haven’t told Jason anything?’
Still too disturbed by his touch, she confirmed it with a nod of her head.
‘Then it’s time we did.’
Alex raced after him as he headed for the door.
Five minutes later Tilly had departed and Jason had been settled on the sofa with a glass of milk, his free hand patting the soccer ball alongside.
‘We’ve got something to tell you, Jason,’ Alex started, kneeling on the carpet near where he sat, her hands tightly clasped together to resist the temptation to reach out and flick the blade of grass welded to his knee. If she touched him now she’d be too tempted to pull him into her arms and protect him for ever from secrets and their consequences. But one sidelong look at Nick and it was clear nothing would protect either of them.
He shifted alongside, showing his impatience at her hesitation. She pressed her lips together, concentrating on the words to come. ‘Only it might come as a bit of a shock.’
Jason looked at them both in turn, his serious expression completely at odds with the milky-white smile left by his drink. Without saying a word he leaned forward, settled the glass on the coffee table in front of him, and sat back, his breath coming out in a huff. ‘Is this anything to
do with Mr Sant—I mean, Nick being my dad?’
Alex reeled back, but still caught the shock flash across Nick’s face. ‘Yes…but how did you know?’
‘I made a wish when I blew my candles—Er, am I allowed to tell you that, now that it’s come true?’ he asked sheepishly.
She mussed his hair. ‘Of course.’
‘Is he the man in those letters?’
‘Ah.’ She licked her lips and looked to the floor.
Nick frowned. ‘What letters?’
‘Mum’s got a box of letters in the cupboard from someone called Nick. She said he was her boyfriend before I was born. That was you—wasn’t it?’
He looked at Jason and nodded. ‘That was me.’ Then he looked at Alex, who shook her head.
‘I was…cleaning up. Had forgotten they were there.’
His face impassive, he looked back to his son and smiled. ‘So, Jason, how would you like to come and visit Greece with me—get some real practice with your Greek language skills?’
‘Greece? You mean it? That would be so cool. Wait till I tell the guys at school.’
‘Only if you’re sure, Jason. It’s a long way to go, and you might stay there for a while. You might want to wait till end of term?’
‘No way. How soon do we go?’
Alex tried to smile, but it was so hard, with her heart tearing its way through the floor, leaving jagged edges and bleeding veins in its wake.
Suddenly he threw himself forward, winding his arms around his mother’s neck. ‘Thanks, Mum. This is the best birthday ever. Can I take my soccer ball?’
She sniffed and hung on tight, and tried to ignore the threatening stab of tears. ‘I’m sure you can,’ was all she could manage.
‘Cool.’ As quickly as he had jumped on her he released her and picked up the ball. ‘Can I go play out in the back now?’
Alex nodded—it was easier than speaking with this huge sense of loss hovering at the back of her throat.
As much as she hated the idea of him leaving her, there was no way she could deny him a passport and the chance to see his other home. It was only fair that he knew both.
She would lose him as quickly as he had run out through that door. In a week or two, or however long it took, Jason would leave for the other side of the world and Alex would be left with nothing.
‘I hope you’re satisfied,’ she said at last, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.
Nick grunted and slapped his legs with his hands. ‘So—tomorrow I want you to make arrangements for a passport. I’ll arrange the tickets.’
She sniffed. ‘And then you will take my son away from me.’
‘Like you took him from me.’ His words came as a harsh grating sound.
‘No. It’s not the same thing. You didn’t know he existed until now. I have loved this child for more than eight years—nurtured him, held him when he was sick and cheered with him when he achieved every new goal.’ Her voice was a bare whisper but she had to continue. She had to make him realise what he was costing her. ‘For you to take him from me now, after all that, it’s much, much worse.’
Her voice threatening to break, she had to stop. Had to get out of the space Nick was consuming and into the kitchen. He had come into her house and consumed her and her life like a vacuum. He had sucked her life dry.
A month ago she’d had a job, a new home and a son she loved more than anything. Nick had turned all of that upside down. Now she had to find another job, some way of meeting her home-loan repayments. Now she’d lost her self-respect after a day of lovemaking that had left her with nothing but bittersweet memories. And now she was going to lose Jason, the brightest light in her life and the person who gave her a reason to go on. Nick was taking him away.
To think that two days ago she’d finally admitted she still loved Nick. What good had that realisation done her?
Nick had always been going to go back to Greece, and she had looked forward to the day with a mixture of anticipation and sorrow. His departure would have been bad enough to bear—to lose him for the second time. But now that pain would be surpassed by a greater, more devastating agony. Now he was taking their son with him.
Now she would lose them both.
Nick spent every chance he could in the following days to be with Jason and get to know him better. He even chose to play babysitter when Alex had her night classes. It was hard to begrudge him his presence as it was clear he was genuinely interested in their son.
On the weekend Nick decided on an outing—a ‘family outing’, he’d said—and chose the zoo. Jason responded with his usual zeal for everything about Nick. Nick could do no wrong in Jason’s eyes, ever since he’d appeared bearing his soccer ball gift.
‘Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.’ The old proverb ran through her mind. How appropriate, she reflected, just a bit too late.
But part of her knew this was right. It was the way things should be between a father and a son, and Nick was taking to the role of father as if he’d been born to it. As for Jason, he was revelling in it. It was as if all his dreams had come true.
Alex suppressed a sigh. For her the nightmare was about to begin. In a few days Jason’s passport would be ready and he would leave. She had no idea how she was going to survive after that. She could have avoided coming today, but she didn’t want to miss a chance of being with Jason before he left.
She looked around, scanning the crowd for Nick, who’d gone to buy ice creams while Jason was entertained by the antics of a wild-haired orang-utan, climbing up and then jumping off his pole. Again and again he did the same routine, clapping when he reached the top of the pole, encouraging his audience to applaud likewise.
Jason gripped her hand tightly, pointing at the animal and laughing madly.
Without notice the orang-utan suddenly changed his routine. He jumped down from the pole, but instead of climbing right back up he made a dash towards his audience, took a flying leap, and crashed into the perimeter fence right in front of them. The entire crowd gasped and instantly recoiled, before spontaneously breaking out into laughter. Jason was no exception—he had all but leaped into his mother’s arms—and shook with laughter as the orang-utan bobbed up and down in front of them, obviously feeling very self-satisfied.
Nick stood holding the ice creams just to one side, watching Alex hold Jason. She was laughing out loud, laughing so hard she had to wipe the tears from her eyes.
It was good to see her laugh. She hadn’t been doing much of it lately. Her face looked drawn and her eyes were shadowed and dull. But for now she was laughing, her face bright and beautiful, her hands on Jason’s shoulders as his own laughter subsided.
And something shifted inside Nick—something vague and harsh-edged tilted and swung, lodging into a place deep inside and grating with every intake of breath so that he felt himself frown.
He still wanted her, and after last week’s lovemaking he wanted her more than ever. That surprised him. But what was more surprising was that he wasn’t angry with her any more. Last week’s cold fury had been replaced by something else—something that felt more like regret, that things hadn’t worked out differently all those years ago.
Alex turned, the smile still on her face where it froze, only her eyes showing surprise that he was watching them. He shook off the frown and the mess of unusual emotions crashing through him and smiled back, holding up the ice creams triumphantly. Finally her smile edged up near her eyes and she moved Jason’s shoulders around so he could see what was coming.
‘Ice cream!’ he yelled. ‘Cool!’
They wandered around the zoo, eating their ice creams and watching the animals. And when they’d finished their ice creams they walked hand in hand, Jason between them, around the park. They shared a picnic under shady trees with all the other families, and then Jason showed Nick how to feed the kangaroos and Alex took photos of the two of them until a man took the camera and snapped the three of them together. Then they walked some more, and som
ehow Nick ended up between Jason and Alex, holding hands as they strolled around.
It was nine-thirty before they were home and Jason had finally gone to bed, and Nick suggested a glass of wine to finish the evening.
She nodded. ‘Please,’ she replied, feeling tired and dreamy. Usually she couldn’t wait for Nick to leave, but today had been such a wonderful day—a day when they’d come the closest ever to being a family. It couldn’t last—she knew that—and because of that she was reluctant to let it end.
In the still warm air they sat on the verandah, moths dancing around the soft outside light to the accompaniment of the noises of a suburb settling down to sleep, and the distant whoosh of the slip of waves across the shore.
He set the wine glasses down on the table between them and sat down alongside. Neither spoke for a long time.
She was weary, but comfortable, and for once felt relaxed in Nick’s presence. It was as if she had worked out her tension in the exertions and laughter of Taronga Zoo, and now she was content to just be there. Whatever happened, whatever her future, she would treasure today’s memories for a long time.
And she could honestly say that she was happy with the way things were working out between Nick and Jason. She could never have let Jason go to Greece if he hadn’t liked his newfound father, or if Nick hadn’t treated him well. But things were working out better than anyone could possibly have predicted. Despite all the cynicism Nick had shown towards family life, he’d taken to his new role admirably. It was clear the two had built a solid foundation on which to develop their relationship further in Greece. That at least was some consolation. For some time soon she’d have to tell Jason that he was going to Greece without her. The better he got to know Nick before then, the more comfortable he’d feel with the whole arrangement.
She sighed and reached for her glass.
‘Tired?’ he asked, his voice soft and husky, as if he was trying not to interrupt the evening quiet.
She looked over at him and nodded, surprised he was so in tune with her mood. With the light behind him, his face was in shadow. It should have had the effect of making him more dangerous, but tonight it softened his features, so that they blended in the dim light, and instead of feeling threatened by him she felt warm and comfortable and relaxed.