“I’m glad that’s settled. When are they coming?”
“Next week.”
“And in the meantime?”
“In the meantime, I’ll get by. But I’ll take better care of myself.”
“That’s a promise?”
“It’s a promise.”
There was about six inches of space between them that seemed to be filled with all kinds of electricity. Lily couldn’t understand why, when she was around Mitch now, every nerve in her body tingled a new message.
“Why don’t you take out the clothes you want to keep down here, and I’ll carry the rest upstairs.”
She took a few outfits from the basket and laid them on the coffee table. As Mitch lifted it again, she found her hand going to his forearm.
He pulled away and she realized she’d clasped his scarred and injured arm. “I’m sorry,” she said.
He put down the laundry and took a step closer to her. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m just not used to having anyone touch me there.”
“Does it hurt?”
“No.”
“Do you ever let anyone see it?” She didn’t know why the personal question had rolled off her tongue so easily, but what had happened at the grocery store had solidified the bond between them.
“Do you?” she prodded. “You wear long sleeves, winter and summer.”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because we’re friends and I’d like to know.”
His expression remained steady, his voice steely. “Most people can’t handle seeing scars. They’re fascinated by them, but they’re afraid of them. They want to ask questions, but they turn away.”
“Do you think I’d turn away?”
The two of them were breathing the same air, standing in the same space, but a shield went up in Mitch’s eyes that sent him somewhere apart from her. Suddenly she suspected why.
“Have you been in a relationship since you returned from Iraq?”
He started to swivel away from her to go into the kitchen. She wouldn’t let him evade her that easily. She didn’t touch him this time, but just slipped in front of him so he couldn’t take another step without running into her.
“Lily,” he said with exasperation. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Have you ever talked about it…talked about her?”
“No.”
“Just as you haven’t talked about Iraq.”
“That’s right.”
Men! Lily thought. Troy had been the same way. He hadn’t spoken to her about his earlier deployments, and she hadn’t pushed. She had imagined that he’d eventually confide in her. But they hadn’t had time. And maybe if he had confided in her, she would have been more prepared—
“So don’t talk about Iraq,” she conceded.
“But tell you about my love life?” Mitch asked, almost amused.
She realized how ridiculous she was being, when Mitch was a private man who didn’t reveal much at all! “I guess I just need something to think about besides my own life right now.”
That shield was still in his eyes but his face took on a gentler look.
“Okay. I’ll do this once.” He jammed his hands into his trouser pockets. “I was back over a year. I’d gotten a fellowship in endocrinology in Dallas and met Charlene, who was a reporter for the local news. She wanted to do a story about my new specialty and why I was changing, but I told her no. After a few tries and a few conversations, we started going out. I wore long sleeves most of the time then, too. One night I took her out to dinner. Afterward, things progressed naturally but when we got to the bedroom and I took off my shirt— She couldn’t bear to see my scars, let alone touch them. That’s when I realized reality was just a little too difficult for most people to handle.”
“Most women,” Lily murmured, realizing how little emotion Mitch had put into that recital. “That’s what you meant to say.”
“Maybe I did.”
“Not every woman is the same.” She could see right away that he didn’t believe that. “The scars are more extensive than on your arm and hand,” she guessed.
“Yes. They’re on my shoulder, back and side, too.”
Lily thought about what he’d said but kept her gaze from falling to his shoulder, or to his flat stomach. She was feeling almost dizzy again. Could that be from imagining Mitch without his shirt? Was she different from that reporter? Would extensive scars make her want to turn away?
The doorbell rang.
Mitch took a step back, looking…relieved? Was she relieved that the personal conversation was over? Or did she want to delve deeper? Somehow she knew Mitch wouldn’t let her do that. At least, not tonight.
“So what’s for dinner?” she asked brightly, knowing the Yellow Rose delivery had arrived at the door.
Getting to know Mitch any better would mean ties she might not want…problems she didn’t need. Getting to know Mitch better could lead to another kiss.
Neither of them wanted that—right?
Lily’s cavalry arrived and Mitch stayed away. He knew it was best for both of them.
Almost a month after the grocery store incident, he received a call as he sat at the desk in his spare bedroom, ready to check email and eat dinner—a slice of pizza and a beer. When he recognized the number on his cell phone, he quickly swallowed his mouthful of pizza and shut down his email program.
“Hey, Lily. How’s it going?”
When he’d called to check on her a couple of weeks before, Troy’s mother had just left Lily’s home and Ellie was settling in. Mitch had known Lily didn’t need him there, or even want him there. He knew what had probably gone on while Troy’s family was with her—lots of remembering.
It was best that he stay on his side of town and not interfere.
“Darlene and Ellie have been wonderful. They gave me a chance to pull myself back together, get my diet straightened out and find a sleep schedule. And Ellie’s definitely going to stay. Angie really likes her, and we all get along great.”
After a long pause, she asked, “Why haven’t you been over lately?”
“I really didn’t think you needed another visitor. Besides, the practice is picking up. I’ve been working late many nights.”
“The beginning of May is a time for growth and thinking about the future. I can see why the practice picks up this time of year. I miss it.”
“I thought you might.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love taking care of Grace and Sophie. Doing that, even with Ellie here, is enough to keep me busy all day. But working with you and Hillary and Jon and the staff is part of my life, too.”
“So you’re coming back?”
“I have to, Mitch. I’m going to see how the summer goes with Ellie, then I’ll give you all a definite date.”
Lily sounded less frazzled, more peaceful, maybe even a bit happy. He guessed the babies were bringing her joy, not just work, and that was lifting her up, fulfilling her in a new way.
She went on, “They’re both cooing. And they’re fascinated by their mobiles. You’ve got to come see them, Mitch, and meet Ellie.”
Ellie was Lily’s family now, along with her friends. He would bet a week’s pay that their first meeting was going to be…uncomfortable. He thought about what type of visit this should be, how much time he should spend with Ellie and Lily, how much time with the twins.
“Have you been out of the house much?”
“Nope. The twins keep me a prisoner,” she said with a laugh. “Seriously. I went to the grocery store again last week. This time I made it without knocking anything over. But that’s been about it.”
“Would tomorrow night be convenient?” he asked. “I could meet Ellie, see how the babies have grown, then take you for a drive. In fact, we could drive to the lake to hear the outdoor concert. How does that sound?”
“That sounds wonderful! But you realize, don’t you, I’m going to have to call back here every fifteen minutes to see what the twins
are doing.”
“That’s a mother’s prerogative. Why don’t you check with your housemates to see if they mind your leaving, then give me a call back. I think the concert will be a nice break for both of us.”
“Your idea sounds perfect. I’ll get back to you shortly.”
“I’ll talk to you soon,” Mitch said and hung up.
He didn’t know whether to hope for this idea to go through or not. It could become more than a casual outing. Then he grabbed hold of reality again. Not if they wanted only casual. After all, it would be easy to stay casual. Lily could tell him all about the memories she and Troy’s mother and sister had stirred up during their visit.
Casual would be the theme of the evening.
“How long have you been working with Lily?” Ellie asked on Saturday evening.
He’d arrived a short time before and looked in on the twins, who’d been finishing their supper. They were asleep in their bassinets now and Lily had gone upstairs to change.
Studying Ellie, he noticed she wore her light brown hair in a short, glossy bob that swung against her cheek. The style accentuated her heart-shaped face. At twenty-six, she was ten years younger than the brother she obviously missed.
Mitch tried to answer her question without becoming defensive. After all, who could blame her for watching out for her sister-in-law. “We’ve worked together for two and a half years.”
“Troy mentioned you,” she admitted. “Something about playing pool at the Silver Spur Grill.”
“We did.”
“He said you were in Iraq and had to leave the Guard for medical reasons.” She looked him over as if expecting to find his injury and her gaze settled on his hand. She quickly looked away.
“I did,” he answered crisply, not intending to go into that, even for Troy’s sister. The screws the doctor had put in his shoulder and leg, his missing spleen, never mind the damage to his arm and hand, had shut down his ability to serve. Most of the time, no one could tell he’d been injured.
It was time to go on the offensive with Ellie. “Lily tells me you worked in a day-care setting.”
“For a while,” she responded.
If he got her talking, she might relax. “But you like to sew?”
Looking surprised that he knew a detail like that, she responded, “I started making customized outfits for gifts for friends and relatives. They became so popular, I was getting orders. That’s when I decided to open the store. At first I did pretty well, but then when harder times hit, even folks who had the money for those kind of clothes decided to spend it elsewhere.”
“I hope your web-based business takes off for you.”
“I hope so, too. But in the meantime, I’m going to enjoy taking care of Grace and Sophie. Did you spend much time with them when you brought Lily home from the hospital?”
She clearly wasn’t giving up on turning over every leaf of his association with Lily. But he didn’t have anything to hide—not really. “Two babies are a handful. That’s why I think it’s important Lily get away for a bit tonight.”
Ellie’s green eyes canvassed his face as if searching for motives. Finally, she admitted, “I’m glad the weather turned warm enough.”
At that moment, Lily came down the stairs.
Automatically, Mitch turned her way. She was wearing blue jeans and a red blouse with a yellow wind-breaker tossed over her arm. She’d fashioned her hair with a clip at the nape and she looked…fantastic. Her blue eyes seemed even bluer tonight as she gave him a tentative smile. He couldn’t look away and she seemed to be as immobilized as he was…
…Until Ellie cleared her throat and asked, “How long do you think the concert will last?”
Lily burst into motion, as if in denial that the moment of awareness had ever happened. “Oh, we won’t stay for the whole concert, and I’ll call in to check with you. That’s the nice thing about going to the lake. I don’t have to worry about anybody being bothered if I make phone calls during the concert. Since this is the first concert of the season, the audience will be sparse. So call me if the least little thing is wrong, or you think I should come home.”
Lily talked very fast when she was nervous, and that’s what she was doing now. Her last comment led him to wonder if she was looking for an excuse not to go. Was it because she was still uncomfortable since their kiss? He’d find out shortly.
Lily gave Ellie a list of instructions along with phone numbers, then hiked the strap of her purse over her shoulder, took a last look at the monitor, blew a kiss to the image of her daughters and went out the door.
On the drive to the lake they didn’t talk, but rather enjoyed the peaceful scenery—ranches and cotton fields that spread as far as the eye could see, tumbleweeds rolling by.
After he turned off the main road, down a gravel lane, and bumped over a dusty area used as the parking space for the concert, Lily finally said, “I think I’d forgotten how green everything is at this time of year, how spring smells, how the sky turns purple and orange at sunset. In some ways, I feel like I’ve been locked in a closet since last summer, not really seeing what was around me. Except the twins, of course.”
“You’ve faced a lot of change in the past ten months.”
She lowered her window and took a huge breath of outside air as the May breeze tossed her hair. “I don’t want to go back into that closet again.”
“Then don’t. You have help now. While you’re on leave, take some time for yourself, too. Figure out who you are again in your new life.”
Turning to him, she reached for his arm, and he guessed she didn’t even realize she’d done that. “You’ve been through this, haven’t you?” she asked.
Her fingers on his forearm seemed to send fire through his body. Trying to smother it, he responded roughly, “You know I have. I’m not sure major life change is anything anyone welcomes, especially when it’s borne from tragedy.”
He gently tugged away from her touch. “Come on. Let’s go to this concert.”
His body still racing with adrenaline from their contact, Mitch pulled a blanket from the backseat. They headed toward the people gathering in a large pavilion. They didn’t see anyone they knew as Mitch dropped the blanket on one of the park benches facing the bandstand. The sides of the pavilion would block the wind and Lily could always wrap herself in the blanket if she got cold.
Their shoulders brushed. Mitch considered moving away, but didn’t. Still, he was glad they hadn’t recognized anyone. He didn’t want Lily having second thoughts about coming. Something told him Ellie would be grilling her when she got back, and she’d have plenty of second thoughts then. He was just glad she’d accepted his invitation tonight, even if it was only to escape her figurative closet for a little while.
The quartet that performed with oboe, bass, clarinet and guitar played instrumental versions of popular songs. The crowd didn’t grow much larger as Mitch was sure it would have if this had been a country-and-western or bluegrass band, or even an oldies night. But it suited his purpose to be here tonight with Lily, to listen to calm and easy music so she could relax. Even when she called home, no worry lines fanned her brow as Ellie reassured her that her girls were fine.
When Lily recognized a song, she hummed along. Her face was in profile as she gazed toward the lake, and he could study her without being afraid she’d catch him. Her hair waved in gentle curls under the barrette. Her turned-up nose was so recognizable on Sophie and Grace. Lily’s bangs were long, brushed to one side, her brows a shade darker than her hair as they drew together when she concentrated on the music. She’d never worn much makeup, but tonight he noticed a sheen of gloss on her lips.
He could watch her all night and not tire of her expressions, the tilt of her head, the slant of her cheeks. He felt desire grip him again.
At that moment, she turned away from the music toward him…as if she wanted to sneak a peek at his expression. They both froze, their gazes locked, their bodies leaning just a little closer until th
e press of their shoulders was noticeable. Mitch reminded himself that there were so many reasons to keep away from Lily.
The music ended and the quartet announced a break.
Not moving away, Lily asked, “What do you think?”
About her? About the night? About the music? Which was the question to answer?
“My mother would have called them a dance band.”
Lily blinked as if she hadn’t expected that at all. But then she rallied. “Did she like to dance?”
Letting out a silent sigh of relief, Mitch leaned back so the pressure between their shoulders eased. “She didn’t go out dancing, if that’s what you mean. She didn’t date. She always told me she didn’t have time. She’d say, ‘Who could work and have time for a man, too?’”
“A modern philosophy if I ever heard one,” Lily joked.
Mitch chuckled. “Maybe so. But once in a while, she’d put on the radio and I’d catch her dancing around the kitchen. She always got embarrassed, but I could tell that if she’d had the time and a partner, she’d be good at it.”
To his surprise, Mitch felt his phone vibrate against his hip. When he checked the caller ID, he recognized the number of a friend, Tony Russo. “I should take this,” he said.
“Go ahead. We can go back to your SUV. I really should be getting home.”
Because of that pulsating moment when he’d almost kissed her again? “You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
The certainty in her answer told him she didn’t want to take the chance of staying longer, the chance that darkness and a starry sky might urge them to become more intimate.
A few minutes later, Lily stood beside Mitch at his SUV, wondering why she had agreed to come with him tonight. This seemed so much like a date and it just couldn’t be! She’d known right away Ellie didn’t approve when she’d told her where she was going.
She had to ask herself…would Troy approve of her being here with Mitch tonight? Troy’s approval still mattered to her. She fingered her wedding ring, still feeling married.
Inhaling the scents of spring on the wind, she attempted to stay in the moment. She exhaled confusion and loss, in favor of life and music and the sliver of moon above. She was aware of Mitch’s conversation, his deep laugh. He asked about someone named Jimmy and reported he’d gotten an email from Matt last week.
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