by Ayn Rand
"What is that?" she asked.
"I don't know," he said. "It looks like--"
"No," she broke in hastily, "it couldn't be. Not around here."
She did not want to hear him name the hope which she had felt for many minutes past. She could not permit herself to think of it or to know that the thought was hope.
They found the telephone box at the fifth milepost. The beacon hung like a violent spot of cold fire, less than half a mile farther south.
The telephone was working. She heard the buzz of the wire, like the breath of a living creature, when she lifted the receiver. Then a drawling voice answered, "Jessup, at Bradshaw." The voice sounded sleepy.
"This is Dagny Taggart, speaking from--"
"Who?"
"Dagny Taggart, of Taggart Transcontinental, speaking--"
"Oh ... Oh yes ... I see ... Yes?"
"--speaking from your track phone Number 83. The Comet is stalled seven miles north of here. It's been abandoned. The crew has deserted."
There was a pause. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
She had to pause in turn, in order to believe it. "Are you the night dispatcher?"
"Yeah."
"Then send another crew out to us at once."
"A full passenger train crew?"
"Of course."
"Now?"
"Yes."
There was a pause. "The rules don't say anything about that."
"Get me the chief dispatcher," she said, choking.
"He's away on his vacation."
"Get the division superintendent."
"He's gone down to Laurel for a couple of days."
"Get me somebody who's in charge."
."I'm in charge."
"Listen," she said slowly, fighting for patience, "do you understand that there's a train, a passenger limited, abandoned in the middle of the prairie?"
"Yeah, but how am I to know what I'm supposed to do about it? The rules don't provide for it. Now if you had an accident, we'd send out the wrecker, but if there was no accident ... you don't need the wrecker, do you?"
"No. We don't need the wrecker. We need men. Do you understand ? Living men to run an engine."
"The rules don't say anything about a train without men. Or about men without a train. There's no rule for calling out a full crew in the middle of the night and sending them to hunt for a train somewhere. I've never heard of it before."
"You're hearing it now. Don't you know what you have to do?"
"Who am I to know?"
"Do you know that your job is to keep trains moving?"
"My job is to obey the rules. If I send out a crew when I'm not supposed to, God only knows what's going to happen! What with the Unification Board and all the regulations they've got nowadays, who am I to take it upon myself?"
"And what's going to happen if you leave a train stalled on the line?"
"That's not my fault. I had nothing to do with it. They can't blame me. I couldn't help it."
"You're to help it now."
"Nobody told me to."
"I'm telling you to!"
"How do I know whether you're supposed to tell me or not? We're not supposed to furnish any Taggart crews. You people were to run with your own crews. That's what we were told."
"But this is an emergency!"
"Nobody told me anything about an emergency."
She had to take a few seconds to control herself. She saw Kellogg watching her with a bitter smile of amusement.
"Listen," she said into the phone, "do you know that the Comet was due at Bradshaw over three hours ago?"
"Oh, sure. But nobody's going to make any trouble about that. No train's ever on schedule these days."
"Then do you intend to leave us blocking your track forever?"
"We've got nothing due till Number 4, the northbound passenger out of Laurel, at eight thirty-seven A.M. You can wait till then. The day-trick dispatcher will be on then. You can speak to him."
"You blasted idiot! This is the Comet!"
"What's that to me? This isn't Taggart Transcontinental. You people expect a lot for your money. You've been nothing but a headache to us, with all the extra work at no extra pay for the little fellows." His voice was slipping into whining insolence. "You can't talk to me that way. The time's past when you could talk to people that way."
She had never believed that there were men with whom a certain method, which she had never used, would work; such men were not hired by Taggart Transcontinental and she had never been forced to deal with them before.
"Do you know who I am?" she asked, in the cold, overbearing tone of a personal threat.
It worked. "I ... I guess so," he answered.
"Then let me tell you that if you don't send a crew to me at once, you'll be out of a job within one hour after I reach Bradshaw, which I'll reach sooner or later. You'd better make it sooner."
"Yes, ma.'am," he said.
"Call out a full passenger train crew and give them orders to run us to Laurel, where we have our own men."
"Yes, ma.'am." He added, "Will you tell headquarters that it was you who told me to do it?"
"I will."
"And that it's you who're responsible for it?"
"I am."
There was a pause, then he asked helplessly, "Now how am I going to call the men? Most of them haven't got any phones."
"Do you have a call boy?"
"Yes, but he won't get here till morning."
"Is there anybody in the yards right now?"
"There's the wiper in the roundhouse."
"Send him out to call the men."
"Yes, ma.'am. Hold the line."
She leaned against the side of the phone box, to wait. Kellogg was smiling.
"And you propose to run a railroad--a transcontinental railroad--with that?" he asked.
She shrugged.
She could not keep her eyes off the beacon. It seemed so close, so easily within her reach. She felt as if the unconfessed thought were struggling furiously against her, splattering bits of the struggle all over her mind: A man able to harness an untapped source of energy, a man working on a motor to make all other motors useless ... she could be talking to him, to his kind of brain, in a few hours ... in just a few hours.... What if there was no need to hurry to him? It was what she wanted to do. It was all she wanted.... Her work? What was her work: to move on to the fullest, most exacting use of her mind--or to spend the rest of her life doing his thinking for a man unfit to be a night dispatcher? Why had she chosen to work? Was it in order to remain where she had started--night operator of Rockdale Station--no, lower than that--she had been better than that dispatcher, even at Rockdale--was this to be the final sum: an end lower than her beginning? ... There was no reason to hurry? She was the reason.... They needed the trains, but they did not need the motor? She needed the motor.... Her duty? To whom?
The dispatcher was gone for a long time; when he came back, his voice sounded sulky: "Well, the wiper says he can get the men all right, but it's no use, because how am I going to send them out to you? We have no engine."
"No engine?"
"No. The superintendent took one to run down to Laurel, and the other's in the shops, been there for weeks, and the switch engine jumped a rail this morning, they'll be working on her till tomorrow afternoon."
"What about the wrecker's engine that you were offering to send us?"
"Oh, she's up north. They had a wreck there yesterday. She hasn't come back yet."
"Have you a Diesel car?"
"Never had any such thing. Not around here."
"Have you a track motor car?"
"Yes. We have that."
"Send them out on the track motor car."
"Oh ... Yes, ma.'am."
"Tell your men to stop here, at track phone Number 83, to pick up Mr. Kellogg and myself." She was looking at the beacon.
"Yes, ma.'am."
"Call the Taggart trainmaster at Laurel, report the C
omet's delay and explain to him what happened." She put her hand into her pocket and suddenly clutched her fingers: she felt the package of cigarettes. "Say--" she asked, "what's that beacon, about half a mile from here?"
"From where you are? Oh, that must be the emergency landing field of the Flagship Airlines."
"I see ... Well, that's all. Get your men started at once. Tell them to pick up Mr. Kellogg by track phone Number 83."
"Yes, ma.'am."
She hung up. Kellogg was grinning.
"An airfield, isn't it?" he asked.
"Yes." She stood looking at the beacon, her hand still clutching the cigarettes in her pocket.
"So they're going to pick up Mr. Kellogg, are they?"
She whirled to him, realizing what decision her mind had been reaching without her conscious knowledge. "No," she said, "no, I didn't mean to abandon you here. It's only that I, too, have a crucial purpose out West, where I ought to hurry, so I was thinking of trying to catch a plane, but I can't do it and it's not necessary."
"Come on," he said, starting in the direction of the airfield.
"But I--"
"If there's anything you want to do more urgently than to nurse those morons--go right ahead."
"More urgently than anything in the world," she whispered.
"I'll undertake to remain in charge for you and to deliver the Comet to your man at Laurel."
"Thank you ... But if you're hoping ... I'm not deserting, you know."
"I know."
"Then why are you so eager to help me?"
"I just want you to see what it's like to do something you want, for once."
"There's not much chance that they'll have a plane at that field."
"There's a good chance that they will."
There were two planes on the edge of the airfield: one, the half-charred remnant of a wreck, not worth salvaging for scrap--the other, a Dwight Sanders monoplane, brand-new, the kind of ship that men were pleading for, in vain, all over the country.
There was one sleepy attendant at the airfield, young, pudgy and, but for a faint smell of college about his vocabulary, a brain-brother of the night dispatcher of Bradshaw. He knew nothing about the two planes: they had been there when he first took this job a year ago. He had never inquired about them and neither had anybody else. In whatever silent crumbling had gone on at the distant headquarters, in the slow dissolution of a great airline company, the Sanders monoplane had been forgotten--as assets of this nature were being forgotten everywhere ... as the model of the motor had been forgotten on a junk pile and, left in plain sight, had conveyed nothing to the inheritors and the takers-over....
There were no rules to tell the young attendant whether he was expected to keep the Sanders plane or not. The decision was made for him by the brusque, confident manner of the two strangers--by the credentials of Miss Dagny Taggart, Vice-President of a railroad-by brief hints about a secret, emergency mission, which sounded like Washington to him--by the mention of an agreement with the airline's top officials in New York, whose names he had never heard before--by a check for fifteen thousand dollars, written by Miss Taggart, as deposit against the return of the Sanders plane--and by another check, for two hundred bucks, for his own, personal courtesy.
He fueled the plane, he checked it as best he could, he found a map of the country's airports--and she saw that a landing field on the outskirts of Afton, Utah, was marked as still in existence. She had been too tensely, swiftly active to feel anything, but at the last moment, when the attendant switched on the floodlights, when she was about to climb aboard, she paused to glance at the emptiness of the sky, then at Owen Kellogg. He stood, alone in the white glare, his feet planted firmly apart, on an island of cement in a ring of blinding lights, with nothing beyond the ring but an irredeemable night--and she wondered which one of them was taking the greater chance and facing the more desolate emptiness.
"In case anything happens to me," she said, "will you tell Eddie Willers in my office to give Jeff Allen a job, as I promised?"
"I will.... Is this all you wish to be done .. , in case anything happens?"
She considered it and smiled sadly, in astonishment at the realization. "Yes, I guess that's all ... Except, tell Hank Rearden what happened and that I asked you to tell him."
"I will."
She lifted her head and said firmly, "I don't expect it to happen, however. When you reach Laurel, call Winston, Colorado, and tell them that I will be there tomorrow by noon."
"Yes, Miss Taggart."
She wanted to extend her hand in parting, but it seemed inadequate, and then she remembered what he had said about times of loneliness. She took out the package and silently offered him one of his own cigarettes. His smile was a full statement of understanding, and the small flame of his match lighting their two cigarettes was their most enduring handshake.
Then she climbed aboard--and the next span of her consciousness was not separate moments and movements, but the sweep of a single motion and a single unit of time, a progression forming one entity, like the notes of a piece of music: from the touch of her hand on the starter--to the blast of the motor's sound that broke off, like a mountain rockslide, all contact with the time behind her--to the circling fall of a blade that vanished in a fragile sparkle of whirling air that cut the space ahead--to the start for the runway--to the brief pause--then to the forward thrust--to the long, perilous run, the run not to be obstructed, the straight line run that gathers power by spending it on a harder and harder and ever-accelerating effort, the straight line to a purpose--to the moment, unnoticed, when the earth drops off and the line, unbroken, goes on into space in the simple, natural act of rising.
She saw the telegraph wires of the trackside slipping past at the tip of her toes. The earth was falling downward, and she felt as if its weight were dropping off her ankles, as if the globe would go shrinking to the size of a ball, a convict's ball she had dragged and lost. Her body swayed, drunk with the shock of a discovery, and her craft rocked with her body, and it was the earth below that reeled with the rocking of her craft--the discovery that her life was now in her own hands, that there was no necessity to argue, to explain, to teach, to plead, to fight--nothing but to see and think and act. Then the earth steadied into a wide black sheet that grew wider and wider as she circled, rising. When she glanced down for the last time, the lights of the field were extinguished, there was only the single beacon left and it looked like the tip of Kellogg's cigarette, glowing as a last salute in the darkness.
Then she was left with the lights on her instrument panel and the spread of stars beyond her film of glass. There was nothing to support her but the beat of the engine and the minds of the men who had made the plane. But what else supports one anywhere?--she thought.
The line of her course went northwest, to cut a diagonal across the state of Colorado. She knew she had chosen the most dangerous route, over too long a stretch of the worst mountain barrier--but it was the shortest line, and safety lay in altitude, and no mountains seemed dangerous compared to the dispatcher of Bradshaw.
The stars were like foam and the sky seemed full of flowing motion, the motion of bubbles settling and forming, the floating of circular waves without progression. A spark of light flared up on earth once in a while, and it seemed brighter than all the static blue above. But it hung alone, between the black of ashes and the blue of a crypt, it seemed to fight for its fragile foothold, it greeted her and .went.
The pale streak of a river came rising slowly from the void, and for a long stretch of time it remained in sight, gliding imperceptibly to meet her. It looked like a phosphorescent vein showing through the skin of the earth, a delicate vein without blood.
When she saw the lights of a town, like a handful of gold coins flung upon the prairie, the brightly violent lights fed by an electric current, they seemed as distant as the stars and now as unattainable. The energy that had lighted them was gone, the power that created power stations in empty prairies
had vanished, and she knew of no journey to recapture it. Yet these had been her stars--she thought, looking down--these had been her goal, her beacon, the aspiration drawing her upon her upward course. That which others claimed to feel at the sight of the stars--stars safely distant by millions of years and thus imposing no obligation to act, but serving as the tinsel of futility--she had felt at the sight of electric bulbs lighting the streets of a town. It was this earth below that had been the height she had wanted to reach, and she wondered how she had come to lose it, who had made of it a convict's ball to drag through muck, who had turned its promise of greatness into a vision never to be reached. But the town was past, and she had to look ahead, to the mountains of Colorado rising in her way.
The small glass dial on her panel showed that she was now climbing. The sound of the engine, beating through the metal shell around her, trembling in the wheel against her palms, like the pounding of a heart strained to a solemn effort, told her of the power carrying her above the peaks. The earth was now a crumpled sculpture that swayed from side to side, the shape of an explosion still shooting sudden spurts to reach the plane. She saw them as dented black cuts ripping through the milky spread of stars, straight in her path and tearing wider. Her mind one with her body and her body one with the plane, she fought the invisible suction drawing her downward, she fought the sudden gusts that tipped the earth as if she were about to roll off into the sky, with half of the mountains rolling after. It was like fighting a frozen ocean where the touch of a single spray would be fatal.
There were stretches of rest when the mountains shrank down, over valleys filled with fog. Then the fog rose higher to swallow the earth and she was left suspended in space, left motionless but for the sound of the engine.
But she did not need to see the earth. The instrument panel was now her power of sight--it was the condensed sight of the best minds able to guide her on her way. Their condensed sight, she thought, offered to hers and requiring only that she be able to read it. How had they been paid for it, they, the sight-givers? From condensed milk to condensed music to the condensed sight of precision instruments--what wealth had they not given to the world and what had they received in return? Where were they now? Where was Dwight Sanders? Where was the inventor of her motor?
The fog was lifting--and in a sudden clearing, she saw a drop of fire on a spread of rock. It was not an electric light, it was a lonely flame in the darkness of the earth. She knew where she was and she knew that flame: it was Wyatt's Torch.