by Misha Horne
“It’s not about what I want, rook. And it’s not about Mackey or your parents. It’s about you acting without thinking, and that has to stop. You made yourself sick. And you have enough sense to know better.”
“I wasn’t actually sick.”
“I really hope you’re not going to argue that point,” Juno said, his voice warning him not to so severely that he backed off it completely.
“You already spanked me earlier,” he said instead. He wasn’t really sure if he was arguing. More like just poking around, seeing what would happen.
“Mmmhmm. For fun. That’s not what I’m talking about. And I hope you don’t think there’s a limit to how many times I’ll spank you in a day, because there’s not.”
“Good.”
“But this time, I’ll let you decide. Because we haven’t really hashed this out yet. We haven’t really set the rules about what happens when you fuck up for real. But we both know you didn’t act right. We both know you’ll calm down and feel better if you get punished.”
He nodded. He did know. He liked that feeling of being clear headed, of not carrying any guilt. In fact, he didn’t just like it, he craved it.
“I need it,” he whispered. “ I really need it. But…” He struggled to explain exactly what he needed. “I know you like to be really careful. And plan things out and everything. But can the rule just be that you spank me when I deserve it? Because I’m not stupid. But I break a lot of rules. I don’t think I can remember all of them.”
“Okay. Then let’s break it down to just one for now. The rule is, you act responsible. You don’t do things that are dangerous, you don’t act without thinking. You behave like a grown up, or you get spanked like a little boy.”
His body temperature rose about a thousand degrees, and he shivered at the same time. “And I have to? When you say?”
He held his breath, knowing Juno’s answer would change everything. He didn’t hesitate.
“Yeah. You have to. Every time I say. Every time I think you need it. It’s not a game. Those are the rules now.”
He felt himself relax, nodding, holding the promise close to his body, clinging to it like it was precious, fragile, magic. Exactly what he needed.
“Are we gonna have a contract?”
“We have a contract, rook.” Juno reached across him, rolling him over as he stretched for the nightstand. “It’s right here.”
He found Kyle’s hand and pressed his key into his palm. “This is yours. You have this, it means you belong here. With me. To me. I want it with you all the time unless you decide you’re not coming back. Understand?”
“Yes.”
Juno closed his fingers around it, the cold metal warming quickly in his hand.
“Then, I want you to hold this and think about what it means to belong here. Think about how you want to act. Because that affects both of us. Think about how much I want you to be safe. Because I love you.”
He nodded, squeezing the key tightly, the teeth biting into his palm. He could feel his pulse pounding, surrounding it, keeping it safe. The way it could keep him safe, if he could figure out how to let it. If he could figure out how to be part of something without constantly fighting it.
“Okay, rook. You know what to do. Come over here.”
For a second, he thought about not doing it. Just to see what would happen. If Juno would let him back out, or grab him, but he didn’t really want either of those things. He didn’t really want to back out. He knew what he had coming, and he knew from the look on Juno’s face when he’d walked through the door that he damn well deserved it. Because he’d scared him. And whether he’d meant to or not, it was a lousy thing to do. So, he pulled off the sheets, let his towel drop, and crawled across the bed, laying himself bare across Juno’s knees.
His body didn’t like it much, wasn’t much of a fan of moving at all, and as he bent over his lap, Kyle’s legs started to shake, his thighs twitching and trembling so violently he couldn’t stay up on his knees. Juno grabbed him, pulled him down, arranging him where he belonged, but even spread out, his body wouldn’t keep still.
“Shh. Stop shaking. You’re okay.”
Kyle shook his head. “I’m not... It’s just my muscles. They’re just… sore.” Sore didn’t begin to cover it. His thighs were shaking the way they only did when he’d been running for hours, and he barely remembered being at the track at all. Christ. He really didn’t know how long he’d been there.
“Relax.” Juno ran his thumb firmly down the back of one thigh and then the other, pressing hard along an invisible seam that turned stuttering knots of muscle back into legs, uncoiling tension inch by inch until he body began to feel solid again.
“How do you do that?”
“You’re not so hard to learn, rook. I just listen to what you need. Don’t think we’re done here just because you’re sore.”
“I don’t.”
“Why are you so careless with yourself? You’re not indestructible.”
“I might be.”
“You’re not. And acting like you are won’t change that.”
The first slap was heavy, but not painful, as Juno’s broad hand came down across both cheeks at once with a dull thud.
Kyle groaned, louder than he meant to, the touch reaching every part of him, still vibrating through him when he spanked him again, cupping his cheek and letting his hand linger, trapping the heat under his palm. It was so frustrating, the way he made him wait, let it build up so gently when he deserved so much more.
He squirmed impatiently, whining in his throat as he pushed his toes against the mattress, demanding more and harder without words.
“Settle down. A tantrum won’t do you any good.”
He blushed, amazed there were still words that could embarrass him so completely, break him down and make him crazy like he really was some little kid who couldn’t figure out how to get what he wanted.
His own breath echoed in his ear as he gasped into the sheets, sounding as ragged as he felt, exposed and waiting. The next slap was just as gentle, just as confusing and frustrating.
“Do it harder.”
“Shh. It’s not about harder, rook. Not this time. This is you trusting me to give you what you need. This is me taking care of you. Watching what you do and letting you know when it’s not okay. Tonight wasn’t okay.”
“I know. I get it. But please, can’t you—”
“No. We’re gonna try it this way, and you’re gonna stop arguing. I know you can be a good boy and do that. You want to be good for me, don’t you?”
He whimpered and nodded until Juno grabbed his ass and squeezed, forcing the word from him.
“Yes.”
“Then just relax. You’re getting spanked, that’s all. You’ve been spanked before.”
“Not like this.”
“Good. Then you’ll probably remember it. Now tell me what you did, rook. Tell me why you’re being punished.”
“Juno. No.”
“Kyle.” Finally, there was his name, there was the voice, the one that said enough, no more, stop arguing. The one that drained him, forced him powerless, made him calm. “When you’re across my lap, it’s not a good time to tell me no.”
“But, I hate that,” he whispered.
“I know you hate it. Because you have to own up to what you did, and you don’t like doing that. But that’s part of it this time. It might not be what you’re used to or what you want, but it’s what I think you need. We’re not gonna start until you tell me.”
He squeezed his key tighter in his palm and tried to focus on that instead of the way Juno’s hand felt on the back of his thigh as he held him in place, waiting, for as long as it took him to say something.
He didn’t like this at all. He really had wanted it, wanted to be punished, wanted to feel better. But he just wanted a hard spanking and for it to be over. Not for it to drag out this way. The scolding and the lecture wasn’t nearly as much fun when he deserved it. It kin
d of felt… real. Not like Mackey real, and not like he’d asked Juno to give him a real spanking real. Like really real. And he couldn’t quite tell if he was mortified, or if it felt amazing.
“I was irresponsible and I made you worry,” he finally said, his face burning. “And I didn’t take care of myself.”
“Good boy.” Juno followed the words with a soft slap to both cheeks, and he felt the back of his neck heat up so furiously he muscles strained. He loved hearing it, but he knew it was as far from true as words could get.
“What are you going to do differently next time?”
He closed his eyes, struggling to concentrate. Why was this so hard? They were easy questions. Easy answers. They just seemed so far away. “Leave a note. Tell you where I’m going.” He cleared his throat. “Drink water.”
“Good boy.” He spanked him again. A little harder, a little longer, but still not enough. Still not what he deserved. “Anything else?”
“Not act without thinking.”
“Good boy. We’re gonna work on that, okay?”
“Yeah.”
Finally his hand came down harder, fuck, so hard. Somehow he always forgot just how much it hurt, how strong Juno was, and he was squealing and squirming before he knew what was happening. His ass went into self preservation mode, and suddenly, he was trying to avoid the spanking instead of arching up into it.
He still wanted it. And he was still hard. He couldn’t seem to help that. But the rest of him knew the difference. He was really being punished. Really being taken care of.
He squeezed his eyes closed, knowing his ass looked exactly like the streaks of red that flashed beneath his eyelids. Knew the bottoms of his cheeks where Juno was repeating the smacks firmly and mercilessly were as bright and blushing and angry as they felt.
The sting sliced through him, giving him just what he needed— enough pain to block everything out, a few minutes of total blissful nothingness as the echoing slaps came down on his raw skin, finally breaking him out of his own head.
It was so simple, so easy, just actions and consequences. Promises and follow through. He’d done something wrong, he’d broken the rules, and Juno was doing exactly what he said he would do— taking care of him. That was the thought that broke him. There was always one, some sharp shameful fragment of acknowledgment that pushed him over the edge, from grunting to crying. It was never the pain. Not when he was being punished. It was the gratitude.
It was over before he realized, and when he finally felt Juno’s hand on his shoulder, stroking his back, he let himself relax. He was shaking and sniffling and sucking at his bottom lip where he’d bitten it and ripped it open again. But he finally felt better.
“That’s it. That’s all. We’re done now.”
He wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. He was too tired to do anything besides breathe. And the truth was, even if he didn’t want to admit it, it was enough. For now, his head was clear and the pain was present, a barrier around his brain to keep the jumble of other thoughts out.
“Thank you. Fuck. Thank you.”
“Shh. You’re a good boy. We’re doing this because you are a good boy, okay? But you can be better. Sometimes you need a good, hard reminder of that. Don’t you?”
“Yes.”
Juno dragged his fingers over him so slowly, he was sure time stood still. Patient strokes following the curve of his spine, the dip in his back and then back again.
“I told you I’d take care of you, rook. I’m not fucking around. I’m always gonna do what I say I will. You can trust me.”
“I know.”
“You gonna let me hold you now?”
He scrambled back into bed as quick as he could make his body move, needing Juno’s arms around him as soon as possible, needing to be held and comforted in a way he really didn’t when they were just fooling around. Another way his body understood the difference, he guessed.
Juno slid in beside him, easing an arm under him and lifting Kyle up on top of him.
“I hate when you do that.”
“Do what?”
“Pick me up.”
“No you don’t. You love it.” Juno kissed him softly, all over his face, his lips so warm and soft that he felt like crying again, just so he’d have more tears to kiss away. “You know I still love you, right?”
He sniffed, embarrassed, offended, but grateful for the words even as he shrugged them off. “Yes. I get it. I’m not a kid.”
“You sure as hell act like one sometimes. A spoiled kid who never had to be anything else.”
“Jesus. You sound like Mackey.”
“There’s a reason you let him spank you, rook. A reason you signed that ridiculous contract and let it be real. And it’s not just because the idea turned you on.”
“Yeah, he was gonna cut me.”
“Not just that either. You knew you deserved it, and you wanted to be punished. You needed it. You liked that someone cared about you enough to make you act better.”
“So what.”
“So, I care about you. You belong to me now. And when you need to start acting better, this is what’s going to happen. Can you live with that?”
“I don’t know if I can live without it,” he said honestly. “It still makes me hard, though. It still makes me feel good. I like being taken care of.”
“Yeah. I know. It’s complicated. Believe me, I still like the way your ass looks when I turn it red. We can’t just switch that part on and off. But we can figure it out. Because you need both. You want both. And so do I. I like taking care of you, rook. I like what it does to you. Calms you down. Makes you feel so much better. I want to be able to give you that. So, we’ll figure it out. But, this time, I really didn’t like spanking you for that stuff because I don’t want you to do it.”
“I know.”
“I want you to be responsible and safe. It’s not that hard to drink water when you’re working out.”
“I know. Next time I will. I promise.”
“You’d better. I don’t ever want to have to spank you for that again.”
“I hear you, I get it.”
“Thank you.”
He burrowed deeper into Juno’s hold, breathing him in, the hollow of his neck all sporty and salty with soap and sweat and probably pheromones or something, because he just couldn’t get enough.
“Why did you say you weren’t allowed to go to the track?” Juno asked him, rubbing circles over his back.
“When?”
“Earlier. You said you go there when you’re mad, but you’re not supposed to.”
“Oh.” Kyle squirmed, feeling strange that he didn’t remember saying that at all. “I can now. It was just something my dad used to say. No running for fun. Save it for the field. He was scared I’d use up all my speed or something.”
“Your dad sounds like an interesting guy.”
“My cock is out. No talking about parents.”
“Okay.” Juno traced his fingers up and down his spine. “I used to watch you at the track sometimes, you know.”
“You did?”
“Mmmhmm. After practice. When Mackey made you run laps.”
“Like every day.”
“You used to stop and run sprints in between. Time yourself.”
“You watched me do that?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“At first just because you look hot when you run. You wear those grey shorts that hang off your hips… well, you know what you look like. Your body’s incredible.”
“Go on. I’m listening.”
“Then one day I noticed you looked like you really fucking loved running laps. And I had this idea that you probably got the same look on your face when you came. So I’d watch you run laps and think about all the different ways I’d make you come.”
Kyle laughed, lifting his head. “You’re such a fucking liar.”
“Totally true.”
“You were stalking me?”
“
On occasion.”
“That’s pretty hot.”
“Yeah, I had a feeling you’d think that.”
“What were the ways you were gonna make me come?” Kyle asked him, resting his head back down on his chest.
“Oh, the usual stuff. Walk up behind you, yank your shorts down, shove my tongue in your ass while I jerked you off. Drag you over to the bleachers and bend you over and spank you for looking like such a slut in those shorts.”
“Mmm. Nice. I still think you’re making it up, though.”
“Think what you want.”
“So, do I? Make the same face?”
“No. The real thing is much better,” Juno said, sliding a hand down to his hip, playing with the side of his ass where the sting started to fade out. It didn’t hurt too much, but he whimpered just the same.
“Poor boy,” Juno murmured into his hair. “Poor, naughty boy. Your bottom hurt?”
“Mmmhmm. Kiss it and make it better.”
“Is that what you want?”
“So much.”
“You’re not too sore?”
“I’m not too sore for anything.”
“Okay. Point taken.”
“Tell me how you’re gonna make me come.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmmhmm.”
Juno’s fingers curled around his ass, and he moaned as he squeezed and pulled his cheeks apart, exposing him as he talked slowly and softly, the way that drove him absolutely crazy.
“First, I’m gonna kiss you and lick you and work that sweet warm bottom open with my tongue. And then when you’re ready and begging for me, I’m gonna slide my cock deep inside you and watch your little pink ass jiggle while I fuck you.”
“I don’t jiggle.”
“Are you kidding? You bounce like a fucking basketball.”
Juno rolled him onto his stomach, kissing the back of his neck before dragging his tongue slowly from the top of his spine down to the cleft of his ass, where he stopped and nibbled a line from hip to hip, teasing endlessly, while Kyle pouted and squealed impatiently.
“Get up on your knees and show off that ass for me,” he finally said. “I know you want to.”
Fuck, he had no idea how much he wanted to.