Den and I had spent many an hour discussing Amka’s replacement, but none seemed to have the experience and wisdom possessed by Amka. None, that is, but Nekau.
“Ah, what have we here?” Den called out good-naturedly to them. “Dear Amka, isn’t it tiring supporting that big, black priest as you do?”
“Yes, yes it is,” Amka replied weakly as Nekau helped him to his favorite chair. “I tell him to get his own staff, but he insists that mine can support us both.” We laughed heartily at Amka’s humor.
“So, what is on the agenda for today?” Den asked.
“We come with a suggestion,” Amka said. “We think it is time to release Nubiti from exile.”
My heart skipped a beat hearing my sister’s name. The ache it brought surprised me and I knew at that moment that I still suffered the pain of betrayal. Oh, Isis, how I wished for our younger days, when I innocently believed that she had my best interests in her heart. Many times since her betrayal I wondered whether that was ever true or merely an illusion.
“What… what prompts this suggestion?” Den asked. I admired him for not reacting angrily.
“Much has changed since you have embraced Unification,” Amka said softly. His breathing came with difficulty. “The Delta governors have increased their power due to the projects you have commissioned for them. The Lower Kemians are a happier people now. We know what Nubiti and Bakht discuss in their notes and we know the weaknesses of the Apep priesthood and their rebel army, if you can still call it such. There is no reason to keep Nubiti exiled, for it serves no other purpose at this point except to make her into a legend that keeps the flame of the rebellion burning.”
“Better to keep your enemies close at hand,” Den said.
“You sound more like Amka every day,” Nekau replied, but he said it without emotion. I watched Den look at each of them in turn.
“And so, this is a unanimous recommendation of my advisors?” Den asked. Nekau studiously examined the design of the mud brick floor.
“Not exactly,” Amka responded. “Nekau here does not agree.”
“Tell me why not,” Den said, looking directly at Nekau. Only then did Nekau stand straight.
“She is a curse and a troublemaker. Evil is in her bones. It is best to step wide around sleeping lions. There is still mischief left in that woman.”
“And what of Menetnashte?” I asked. “What would you do about him?”
“That is part of the problem,” Amka said. “We know little of him. None of us has laid eyes upon him. We suspect he is a trained Apep priest from the messages that Bakht sends. According to our laws he would have a claim to the throne if something were to happen to you, Zenty, Horus forbid, before you have an heir of your own. Menetnashte is still young and we wish to see what type of threat he poses. Again, it is better to have that entire cabal exposed to Ra’s light than for their poison to simmer in a dark cave.”
We discussed our options over weak beer, cheese and fruits. Finally, Den turned to me. “Mother, I leave the choice to you for I know how Nubiti’s betrayal wounded you. What would you have me do?”
It is hard to describe how I felt at that moment, both for the blessing of having such a strong and compassionate son, and also for the pain of having to again deal with my sister. I thought of the many times I ran giggling in the garden with her, carefree and full of life and hope. I thought of our many talks as I prepared for my role as a woman. As my confidante I believed her to be my ka-mate, for there was nothing I would not share with her. But our intimacy allowed her treachery to penetrate me to my core. It was a wound from which I had never recovered. I missed her face, but I also knew that I could never look upon it again without the sharp sting of grief.
“Release her,” I said.
As he adjusted to healing a divided land, Den conferred regularly with Amka, Tepemkau and the royal architect, Nomti on the many building projects that years of abundance enabled. Often the tall and pitifully thin Nomti would arrive trailed by his assistants with tightly wound scrolls under their arms. Hours later they would leave with the scrolls disheveled and even torn and at times I heard poor Nomti grumbling as he left. After months of these meetings, Den called me into his quarters.
“I have a wonderful surprise for you, mother,” he exclaimed as soon as I entered.
“I have had enough surprises to last me a lifetime,” I replied. “The best surprise is to simply be summoned to your quarters for a talk.”
“Well, this surprise is for the next lifetime,” he said smiling and standing up to hug me. On the table I noted a large scroll. In a moment Tepemkau walked in, with Nomti right behind him.
“Show it to her,” Den instructed. Nomti reached over with his long, skinny arms and unrolled a large papyrus scroll that was on the table. He placed gold paperweights on each corner and stood back, smiling proudly. The scroll showed a huge temple surrounded by a hundred or more tiny buildings.
“Well, what do you think?” Den asked excitedly.
“It… it is extraordinary,” I said, looking at him. “It is a grand temple, but to which god?”
“You!” he exclaimed, beaming. “It’s your funerary complex!”
“You must have been quite proud,” Herihor said to me when I recounted to him the meeting with Den and Nomti. “I can tell you he’s been quite absorbed with it for a long time.”
“I am proud. It is like nothing I have seen before.”
“You seem worried,” Herihor suggested, coming closer and taking me in his arms.
“It does worry me. Not even Narmer’s mastaba is so grand, nor Wadjet’s. It is beautiful and it overlooks the Gates to the Afterworld. When they took me to the site I had gooseflesh all over. I… I do not feel worthy of such tribute.”
“Aahh, there it is. You feel unworthy again. Den loves you. The entire leadership of Kem holds you in high regard, Mery. You have forged remarkable achievements for the Two Lands.”
I turned away from Herihor and suddenly felt swamped by confusion in my ba, for Herihor had hit upon an essential burden in my life. Often did I not feel worthy, even when I sat upon the most important throne in all the lands. And the questions came back, yet again. Would my ba have been so different had I a mother and father to raise me? Would I have felt worthy of tribute, worthy of accolades for a job well done, worthy of Herihor’s love?
It is true that none could have been kinder than sweet Herneith, yet each time I saw her with Wadjet I felt in my heart the difference between a mother’s love and that of an aunt. Even watching a parent scold a child in the streets of Inabu-hedj made me keenly aware of my hidden secret, my profound loneliness.
“Looking back my achievemnts hardly seem remarkable,” I said. “I had you and Amka at my side. I only did what had to be done.”
“And what had to be done wasn’t easy,” Herihor said, coming to stand in front of me. “What you did took courage and daring. You battled the Ta-Sety and saved my life and we have had twenty years of peace with them. You’ve built granaries throughout the lands. You’ve given the nomes a say in governing. And you’ve quieted the rebellions in the Delta.”
“It was you who quieted the rebellions.”
“At your command. Why do you deny all you have done to strengthen the Two Lands? Even our trade has increased beyond measure.”
“Oh, I think it would be hard to explain to you, my love.”
“Try,” he said, “please.” I could see the sincerity in his eyes. I took Herihor’s hand and walked to the portico.
“Although I walk in the world of men, I am still a woman in my heart. Am I a success because I rule a mighty nation? And so what if people bow low to me because I command the mightiest army? Yes, to you these are successes, for you see them through a man’s eyes.
“Yet to me they matter little, except…except perhaps for how they have contributed to ma’at for Kem. Do you know what would have been a success in my eyes, my dear Herihor? To have been able to marry you after Wadjet passed on to th
e next life. To have been your loving wife for all eternity. To suckle a baby we made together and raise her, along with Zenty.”
Over the years the portico had become my favorite view in all the land, for it overlooked Mother Nile as she flowed around a point. Directly below the portico were our gardens, lovingly tended by my servants. Trees, imported from lands near and far, bloomed. Flowers of every description grew in colorful abundance and birds flitted here and there, their cheerful sounds filling the air. To the right and left were the verdant fields of our agricultural estates.
“But, to answer your earlier question, you are right, my dear, it is not the grandeur of the mastaba and the temple that Den builds in my honor that troubles me. I…” My throat choked with emotion and I felt my eyes fill with tears.
Herihor came closer and held my arms in his hands. The years had taken their toll on my love. He had endured new battle wounds and the scar across his cheek had hardened so that the skin around it appeared dark and stretched. Yet to me he looked as handsome as the day I first laid eyes on him.
“Mery, what is it?” he whispered as he peered deeply into my eyes, and in that moment I was certain he already knew.
“I worry that my mastaba will not be finished in time,” I said, holding my abdomen. “I… I am dying.”
SCROLL NINETEEN
Nubiti
“You do miss it, though, Nubiti. I can see it in your eyes.” Our fishing boat sailed upon Mother Nile, our trusted captain tacking to and fro, trimming the sails just right, every so often his crew pretending to cast a net so as to avert suspicion. Before us lay the gleaming white walls of Inabu-hedj.
“I don’t deny it. Had the gods supported our plans we’d be sitting behind those walls. It’s an impressive sight, after all.” I sighed. A scarf covered my face, even though we sat on a side bench in the stern, under a protective cover.
“Thanks for accompanying me,” I said to Bakht, whose face was similarly covered by a scarf. Night was about to fall, which would provide us with relief from the searing heat and an opportunity to shed our disguises.
“It’s not a problem. I know how much you have wanted to return. And it gives us a chance to talk.” I did not want to reveal the pain in my heart, knowing that behind those walls lay a life I had left behind.
“Fill me in on the state of our treasury,” I said.
“The security plans go well,” he started.
“I love the way you phrase it.”
“Well, extortion would not sound quite so nice now, would it?” he said smiling. Black stains showed between his teeth from chewing the drugs that gave him his visions. Yet his eyes still held an undeniable attraction to me.
“In any event, the Delta merchants do pay up, quietly of course. They fear their balls being served up for dinner.” He laughed hard at his own remark.
“We also get continuing contributions from the old families, the ones who see themselves benefiting if… when we eventually advance our position. It costs them little to play both ends of the rope. With the recent favorable changes in Den’s court toward us, they are getting an increasing slice of foreign trade rights, so their payments to us are little more than a nuisance tax.”
“So, all in all we’re doing well?” I asked.
“Very well. We have storehouses of gold, silver and precious jewels hidden throughout the Delta.”
“It does us no good underground,” I ventured.
“Agreed, but we continually draw from it to pay our spies and to exact favors from certain sympathizers in the court. It also pays for our small group of rebels who train now in camps in Ta-Tjehenu.”
The evening breezes began to pick up and I dropped my scarf to breathe in the fresh scents coming off the land. “I had hoped that since my return we would have advanced our cause more substantially.”
“My dear, I know you are disappointed, we are all disappointed, but we’re lucky to be alive, and we are growing… slowly, but noticeably. We must face the fact that our cause is no longer what it was. It will take years, perhaps until Menetnashte’s son or grandsons are grown, before we are again in a position to challenge the court. Den and his advisors keep us around only because it suits their plans to grind the Delta under their sandals.”
The knowledge that Bakht was correct made the bile rise in my throat. In exile I had replayed the choices I had made many, many times, always second-guessing myself, wondering why the gods favored Mery over me. In the end I knew that I would rather have made my own choices as I did and suffer their effects than be a Senet piece in the hands of the Horus priesthood, to be played as they saw fit.
“What have you heard of life inside the court?” Bakht asked. “Rumors abound.”
“I’m told that Mery worsens day by day. She’s in great pain. Since Herihor retired from the Army, he does nothing but play nursemaid to her, mopping her brow, holding her hand as she sleeps, even wiping up her messes. Disgusting!”
“How the mighty have fallen,” Bakht mused. “He was once a force to be feared.”
“He still is, according to my sources, only now he advises his mousy protégé.”
“Speaking of the protégé, have you heard that the black priest has sent word to the Delta families that he is looking for a Second Wife for Den?”
“Second Wife? He has not even married his first.”
“No, but apparently he’s close. Amka is too old and feeble to take an active role in the selection, so he has farmed it out to Tepemkau and Nekau, and the black one is more efficient, I suppose. In any case, you should know that Den has marriage on his mind… which is surprising.”
“Surprising? How so?”
“There are rumors.”
“Stop being vague with me, Bakht,” I demanded. “Spill all or be quiet.” Bakht smiled broadly at me.
“I do so like your expressions when you get angry with me. With you I enjoy spilling all,” he said, winking, as if I would not get his sexual reference without the added emphasis. “There are those who believe that, unlike his mother, our little Den should have been given a female title when he ascended.”
“No! Could that be true?”
“Well, there are rumors… men leaving his quarters with Ra’s silver disk waning. It seems that his preferences have left his need for women behind, so to speak.” Bakht smiled at his wittiness.
“So, the plot thickens.” I said, pondering the possibilities. “This makes the Second Wife a far more important choice than I would’ve predicted.”
“Yes, I thought you would like to be involved in the choice. The Delta nobles are ready to take direction from us.”
“We need a strong woman, but not one who appears such on the surface,” I mused. “We must assume that Tepemkau and his minions will intentionally pick a weak First Wife so she will not appear to be more the man than her husband. If we offer up a similarly appearing Second Wife, but train her well, she could be just the tool we need.” The more I thought of this unexpected gift from the gods, the more excited I became.
“You play us like game pieces!” I shouted to the sky, shaking my arms at the heavens, “only your board is far larger. You must laugh at our folly.”
“And that is when Apep is most powerful,” Bakht reminded me, smiling wryly. “He bides his time awaiting the right moment to emerge.” One look at Bakht’s groin alerted me to the fact that it was not Apep that was emerging. Yet the thought appealed to me, for it was typically long periods between when I could feel Bakht’s power inside me. Night could not fall quickly enough for either of us.
As Ra set below the hills and lit the scattered clouds with an orange glow, we anchored off the point of land below the palace walls. Bakht commanded the captain and crew to transfer to one of the other boats that accompanied us and as soon as they did we slid from our bench to the blanketed deck.
Although it had been more than a year since Bakht and I coupled, we took our time, for I imagine we each realized it might be even longer to our next opportunity. My
skin was exquisitely sensitive to his touch as he ran his fingers up and down my body. I felt an ache deep inside me and I wanted nothing more than for him to penetrate me. Yet we didn’t rush the moment.
Bakht pulled apart my robe and cupped a breast in his hand. I shuddered as he squeezed my nipple until it stiffened between his fingers. He leaned down and placed it in his mouth, sucking and pulling it gently with his teeth. My breath came in gasps now as he alternated between each breast.
“As Neith is my witness, I so enjoy these,” Bakht said, looking up at me and smiling. I did not ask him to stop to explain whether the Neith he referred to was the protector goddess of the Delta or the Queen. For a moment I imagined Mery on her balcony, looking over Mother Nile, unsuspecting what went on right below her. I felt myself moisten.
I rolled over and grabbed Bakht’s already hard organ and ran my fingers along its length. At my touch he groaned and tensed its muscle so that I felt its life force pulse in my grip. I squeezed back as I knew he liked. He lifted his face and kissed my lips and in a moment our tongues met and then there was no more waiting.
Bakht pulled me on top of him and I slid his erect penis into my wetness. “Oh, Isis!” I gasped and Bakht immediately began to thrust deeper into me, filling me completely as I rode him to the heights of my pleasure. I could feel my inner walls spasm again and again and I collapsed in his arms. In just a few moments I felt his thrusting begin once more and once again I flew to Isis’ lair.
Finally, Bakht could take it no longer and he rolled me over and finished me from behind, as he liked to do. As he groaned in delight, I heard the sailors on one of our other boats laughing.
With Ra’s silver disk high in the sky, we sat side-by-side nibbling on bread, cheese and grapes and talking and reminiscing. Bakht’s seed dripped from inside me, and it pleased me. Then, just as quickly, I thought of my present diminished circumstance and in a quiet space in our conversation I felt momentarily saddened by what might have been.
The Dagger of Isis (The First Dynasty Book 2) Page 37