by Levine, Nina
Worry hits my gut. “Why?” That’s the last place he needs to be now.
“I’ve found a new manager, and she wants me back there. She’s got some scripts for me to read. She also wants me to fix my public image, so I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me. I need to get back there and start on that.”
“What kind of work?” I know exactly what kind of work he means, but I want him to say it so I can bring up my reservations.
“Fuck, Ashton, you know how this goes. Don’t give me hell over it.”
“Yeah, I know exactly how this goes, Jack. You make appearances everywhere and schmooze with as many of the players as you can. Parties, events, premiers, anywhere you can go. And eventually that leads to drugs and alcohol, and you’re right back where you are now, only worse, because you never finished the work you’ve started here. Why would you do that to yourself?”
Anger flashes across his face. “Because it’s my career.”
“And here I was thinking you wanted a break from that career. What’s changed?” I’m angry, too. But even more than that, I’m worried as hell for my friend. This is the absolute worst move he could make right now, and I’m fairly certain he’s not going to listen to my concerns.
“It’s what I live for, Ashton. If anyone can understand that drive, I would think it should be you. You live for your work just as much as I do.”
“I do understand that, but why can’t you take the time to get your health under control before heading back to work?”
He shoves his fingers through his hair, and I notice how shaky his hands are. Fuck, he’s worse than I thought.
“I need this. I’m going crazy not working.”
I lean forward. “You mean you need the attention? Is that it, Jack?” I know I’m being a bastard, but I’m struggling to keep my calm.
He finishes his drink and slowly places his empty glass down as he stands. The hurt in his eyes is clear to see, and I regret my choice of words. “So I like the attention. I wouldn’t be able to do my job if I didn’t. But besides that, I want to be back working. I’m lost without it. And fuck you.”
He walks out of the bar, and I resist the urge to follow him. It’s the last thing our friendship needs right now. Jack might be in desperate need of help where his health and addictions are concerned, but at some point, I have to let him realise that himself. I think we’ve reached that point, and it fucking kills me to watch him harm himself in the way he is. All I can do now is pray that his fall isn’t as hard as I suspect it might be.
* * *
“You’re so tense,” Lorelei says an hour later while she massages my shoulders.
I arrived ten minutes ago, and once she saw how tense I was, she dragged me into her lounge room and ordered me to sit on the floor while she sat on the couch and massaged me.
“Jack’s going home.”
Her hands stop moving for a moment before she resumes working on my knots. “Why?”
I fill her in on everything he told me. I’m wound even tighter than I was when I spoke with him, and the words fall out of my mouth. It’s unusual for that to happen. I’ve never dated a woman I’ve shared such personal stuff with.
When I finish, she leans forward against me and glides her hands down over my chest. Her head rests on my shoulder, and she says, “I’m sorry this is so hard for you.”
I wrap my hands around her wrists and turn my face so I can catch her lips in a kiss. When I end it, I say, “You should come and sit on my lap and let me work my stress out with you.”
She smiles. “That didn’t even sound bossy.”
I return her smile. “I’m trying.”
“You know, I think there are definitely times when bossy suits you better.”
“You want me to be bossy, Lorelei?”
“I’m not sure. I’m still deciding. I mean, I don’t want to encourage bad behaviour.”
Fuck, I love this banter with her. “I’m giving you five seconds to decide. After that, it’s bad behaviour all the way.”
Her smile turns cheeky, and she moves her mouth to my ear. “Five, four, three, two, one—”
Before she knows what’s happening, I move so that she’s on her back on the couch, and I’m on top of her. Reaching under her skirt, I find her panties and slide my hand inside. Meeting her gaze, I say, “Is this the kind of bad behaviour you were trying to avoid? I can stop anytime you want. You just say the word.”
Her eyes flutter shut as I push two fingers inside her. “Oh God, don’t you dare stop.”
I have no intention of stopping. Watching Lorelei come is the only thing on my agenda tonight.
Dropping my face to hers, I kiss her while I work to bring her to orgasm. She loops her arms around my neck and grips me there while she kisses me with an urgency I’ve not known from her.
Fuck.
Her need for me almost pushes me over the edge. I want nothing more than to drive my dick inside her, but I hold myself back so I can make her come first.
Her back arches up off the couch, and she moans as her fingers dig into my neck. My dick grows harder while I watch her head press back against the couch, and when her pussy pulses around my fingers, I almost come too.
“Fuck,” I growl. “I love watching you lose yourself.”
Her eyes open, and she hits me with a sexy smile. Reaching for the top button of my shirt, she undoes it and says, “I love watching you fuck me. I think you should hurry up and do that.”
I scoop my arm under her waist and take her with me as I move to a sitting position with her straddling me. “You know what I think you should do?”
Her gaze is firmly on mine, heat blazing from those beautiful eyes of hers. She undoes the next couple of buttons on my shirt. “What?”
I run my hands up her thighs and push her skirt up. “I want to watch you strip for me.”
She stops what she’s doing with my buttons as her eyes widen. “I’ve never stripped for a man before.”
I hate the hesitation I hear in her voice. Lorelei is a goddess. She shouldn’t have any confidence issues. “Good. I’ll be your first.” I bring my lips to hers and kiss her before adding, “And your only.”
She stills as I say those three words. It was my intention to say them, and I’m interested to see her reaction. Taking hold of my face with both hands, she kisses me again. “Your only,” she says softly. It’s not a question, but I hear the uncertainty.
“Yes, Lorelei, your only,” I say firmly. I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding here. I’m not ready to say the other three words that would clear any confusion, but there’s no doubt in my mind that I want Lorelei in my life forever.
She holds my gaze for a long few moments, not saying anything, just watching. And then she slowly moves to stand in front of me.
I run my eyes down her body, always blown away by her beauty. That she’s mine, is everything. I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that never changes.
She finds my gaze and locks onto it as she slowly slides her top over her head. It hits the floor, but neither of us notice because we’re both too engrossed in what she’s doing.
Her skirt is next to go. The way she turns her back to me and shimmies out of it while bending over is enough to make me reach for my zip. A moment later, my hand is wrapped around my cock, and I stroke it while watching her.
My breath slows when she faces me again and seductively runs a finger down between her breasts to her panties. She places her other hand to the back of her head and threads her fingers in her hair. At the same time, she begins swaying her hips.
“Fuck, baby,” I rasp, gripping my dick harder. “You’re a natural at this.”
A smile spreads across her face, and she reaches inside her panties. Her hand is hidden from me, but I can see she’s rubbing her clit. “Do you want to see my tits next or my pussy?”
Filthy words have never sounded better than on Lorelei’s lips. I want nothing more than to drag this out, but I’ve reached the point where I need
her now.
Reaching forward, I curl a hand around her thigh and pull her to me. “I want you sitting on my dick so I can fuck you.” I yank her panties down and grip her ass while she straddles me, slowly lowering her pussy onto my cock.
I close my eyes for a moment while she takes me in. “Goddam you are fucking wet,” I say when I reopen them.
She grasps my arms. “That’s because I’ve been thinking about you all day. I may have even used my vibrator when I got home from work because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
I’m fucking done at those words. I can’t restrain myself any longer. Flicking her bra open, I pull it off and then take hold of her waist. Moving my mouth to her ear, I growl, “Fuck me, baby. And after you’ve done that, be ready for me to fuck you in ways you’ve never dreamt of.”
She doesn’t hesitate; she fucks the hell out of me. It’s hard and it’s fast, and I can’t get enough of what she’s giving me.
We’re all fingers digging into skin.
Frantically clawing for release.
Desperately needing each other.
When we come, our bodies are pressed together tightly, arms wrapped around the other, and mouths crushed together in a kiss that goes on forever.
I never want to let her go.
Lorelei is becoming my everything.
My lover.
My confidant.
My weakness.
Time with her is the only thing I crave.
And if I’m truly honest, I am in love with her.
43
Lorelei
“We should take more half days on Fridays.”
Ashton drinks some of his whisky and eyes me over the rim of the glass from across the table. “I’ll get Jessica to schedule them in if you’re serious.”
My eyes widen. “Really? Just like that, you’ll change your routine?”
His eyes don’t leave mine. “Just like that, Lorelei. You want it to happen, I’ll make it happen.”
I watch him silently, trying not to show how surprised I am. We left Sydney just before eleven this morning and flew to the Whitsunday resort we’re now sitting in having a late lunch. This is after Ashton fucked me the minute we stepped foot in our room, and a long spa bath after that. I only threw my taking-Fridays-off statement out because I’m feeling more relaxed than I’ve felt in a long time. And I can’t think of anything I’d rather do on a Friday afternoon than spend it with Ashton. I never expected him to respond the way he has.
A text comes through on my phone, interrupting us.
Ryan Shandwick: You free for a ten o’clock meeting Monday morning to go over some stuff?
I glance up nervously at Ashton. I’m not sure why, though, because he and I have already had our discussion about this deal. He made his thoughts clear, and I made it clear where I stood. And now I’m moving forward because I’m still happy with the information I’ve sourced about this deal. But I definitely feel weird about the whole situation after our fight.
Ashton frowns at me. “Everything okay?”
I nod. “Yes.” And then I quickly reply to the message.
Me: Yes. Lock it in.
Ashton’s frown deepens. “You’re not convincing. What’s going on, Lorelei?”
I place my phone down on the table and smile at him. “It’s just some work stuff. I’m more interested to discuss what we’re doing this afternoon.” We’ve got a full schedule planned to check out the resort this weekend, and I’m excited to get started on that. I’m also keen not to discuss Ryan Shandwick this weekend.
He watches me thoughtfully for another few moments before saying, “Jessica managed to get us in for the wine tasting at five. And she also booked us in for the high tea tomorrow morning.”
“I freaking love her.” Both events had been booked solid, and while Ashton didn’t think it a huge deal that we couldn’t experience them, I wasn’t as sure. We need to know exactly what our competitors are offering so we can ensure our standards are just as high.
His phone sounds with a text and as he reaches for it, he says, “The feeling is mutual I think.” As he reads his message, he mutters, “Shit, I have to call my mother.”
“Is she okay?”
He dials her number and places the phone to his ear. “Yes. Aly just reminded me that Mum had an appointment with her doctor today, so I want to check how that went—” He stops talking and frowns as he listens to his phone. Then—“What the fuck, Cassia? Why are you answering my mother’s phone?”
A sinking feeling hits my stomach. His ex is answering his mother’s calls? This causes alarm bells to ring loudly for me. I already feel all kinds of awkward about her and what their relationship is now. This only increases my anxiety over everything.
They have a heated discussion before he talks with his mother. When the phone call ends, he rakes his fingers through his hair and mutters, “Jesus Christ.”
I take a gulp of my cocktail. I’m going to need a lot more of these this afternoon. “How is she?” While I want to know how his mother is, I really want to know everything there is to know about Cassia, but I don’t know how to ask him. God, why does dating have to be such hard work sometimes?
“Mum’s fine. The appointment went well.”
I take a deep breath before pushing him for more. “And?”
He throws half his glass of whisky down his throat before answering my question. “For a reason I can’t fathom, Cassia is spending a lot of time with my mother. If I know her as well as I think I do, she’s after something.”
The nerves churning in my gut ease a little. I should have had more faith in my man that he wouldn’t keep anything from me. Ashton has been nothing but honest the entire time I’ve known him, so I’m not sure why I was worried he wouldn’t open up to me about this. However, that doesn’t ease any of my concern over what Cassia might be up to. Or the way her mere presence in his life makes me feel.
“Like what?” I ask softly.
“I don’t know yet, but I intend to get to the bottom of it.”
“She must be close to your mum if they’re spending all this time together.”
“I didn’t realise they were this close. They certainly weren’t while we were together.”
I look away. I’m not sure how I feel about his mum having a friendship with the woman he used to love. And I feel like I need a moment to get my thoughts into some kind of order.
“Lorelei.” Ashton’s deep voice cuts through my thoughts. “What’s going through your mind?”
I turn back to find him leaning forward, watching me intently. Unwilling to answer him until I figure out my thoughts, I say honestly, “I don’t know.”
“Yes you do. Don’t think, just tell me the one thing running through it right now.”
God, how I hate it when he tries to force answers from me like this. “I really don’t know, Ashton. I need to process it.”
“You don’t need any time,” he says forcefully. “It’s written across your face and your body that something has upset you, and I want to know what it is because I don’t want it coming between us.”
“Fine,” I mutter, annoyed at him. “If you want to push this… I don’t like that your ex is so bloody close to your mother. It concerns me.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think?” Good God, are all men this unaware?
“I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.” His voice holds nothing but patience, but I sense his impatience with this. Ashton doesn’t always have a high tolerance for the workings of the female mind. He’s held himself in check with me most of the time we’ve been together, but I’ve witnessed it with his sister.
I drink the rest of my cocktail, needing the shot of alcohol. The relaxed state I was in just a little while ago has vanished. Having this conversation with him is hard. We’re still walking the fine line between simply dating and admitting stronger feelings, and bringing this up is a whole step closer to me admitting how I feel about him. And acknowledging ho
w vulnerable I am about this.
Placing my empty glass down on the table a little harder than I mean to, I say, “Honestly, you men really need to figure out how to read a woman. Because you seem unable to, I’m going to give you a quick lesson in exes.” I pause for a moment, gathering myself, before going on. “When a woman starts dating a man, the last thing she wants to find out is that his ex is still close with his parents, especially his mother. His mother is the person she really wants approval from, and if the ex is still in the picture, it makes her all kinds of uncomfortable and anxious. Will the ex influence the mother? Will the mother be ready to let the hopes she had for the past relationship go? Will she even like me?” God, I need another freaking drink now. I can hardly think straight after saying all that out loud.
Ashton remains silent while he processes everything. And then a look of pure determination settles across his face as he moves his chair next to mine. “You have nothing to worry about with my mother, Lorelei. Or with my ex. I’ll be getting to the bottom of whatever Cassia has going on, but in case you haven’t figured this out about me yet, I’m going to get us on the same page—I have zero feelings for Cassia, and my mother has very little say over who I choose to spend my life with. I would like it if you two become friends, but if you don’t, it will not affect our relationship in any way. And as far as the hopes my mother had for my past relationship, I can assure you she had none. She didn’t have much time for Cassia, which is why this situation has me confused now. And if I had to hazard a guess, I would say that Cassia is more interested in getting something out of my father than my mother.” He leans closer to me, eyes blazing with heat. “Having said all that, you also need to know that it turns me the fuck on to know you feel like this.”
I bite my lip as I hold his gaze. “Feel like what?”
He places his hand on my knee and reaches under my skirt, moving his hand up my thigh, stopping halfway up and resting there. It lights my body up to the point where I’m not sure I can breathe properly. “I like a woman staking her claim.”