“I think my family was surprised by my decision to become a full-time pastor to a flock of starving, scared people down on their luck, but as the church flourished, I believe they saw God’s hand in it. My wife, Greta, always understood. She’d say to me, ‘Christopher, I will not even attempt to interfere with the Almighty. Should He call you to perform on street corners, I will stand by your side.’”
“What a wonderful wife. To have such support must have truly blessed you.”
“It did and always has.”
“And what of your children? Is Theodore the only one?”
Pastor Sedgwick shook his head. “No, although he is the eldest. I have four, and all are married with children save Theodore. Three sons and a daughter.”
“And the others moved away from Duluth?”
“Yes. They chose homes elsewhere, and they are dearly missed. We hardly have a chance to know our grandchildren, although we get occasional letters.” He shrugged. “But we act as grandparents to a good number here. Especially the ones who’ve lost their fathers and grandfathers, uncles and brothers. The lake can be especially cruel, but she calls to them and employs them, and they have no ability to ward her off.”
“And Theodore is now returned.” Luke wanted so much to ask for information but knew it wasn’t right. The best he could do was give the pastor openings for comment. Whether or not he took them was entirely another matter.
“Yes. He’s returned.” Pastor Sedgwick looked as if he might say something else, then stopped. “I hope he finds his place with this new job.”
“Pastor Sedgwick, I didn’t know you were here,” Gloriana said, coming to join them. “I was just feeding the baby and getting her settled.”
“And I was just getting to know this young man a little better,” the pastor said, rising in greeting. “But alas, I must return home. I promised Greta I would be there for supper.” He smiled at Gloriana, then turned back to Luke. “I wish you the best, Mr. Carson.”
“Luke. Please call me Luke.”
Pastor Sedgwick nodded. “I would be honored.”
Chapter 10
“What do you know about Theodore Sedgwick?” Luke asked Gloriana after supper that evening.
She gave him a quizzical glance, then shrugged. “Rumors mostly, although his mother has spoken at times of her concern for him. He’s twenty years my senior and was long gone before I started taking notice of the men in town.”
Luke chuckled. “And when did you start taking notice?”
She smiled as she stacked the dishes. “I suppose about the time most girls do—when I was fifteen or so. Of course, up here most of the eligible ladies had chosen their mates by that age.”
“But none of the beaus suited you?”
“There were a couple I thought rather promising, but they didn’t have the same interest in me. And those who did had Papa to contend with.” She smiled. “He was quite particular.”
“And who could blame him? When I think of someone wanting to date Sally, I get very protective.”
Gloriana laughed. “Let’s give her a few years, please.”
“So did you and your father entertain the idea of any of the gentlemen of Duluth?”
“I suppose there were a couple he had his eye on. But we were in no hurry. Mama needed my help at home, and I was in no hurry to leave.” Her voice softened. “Then, when Mama died, I felt obligated to forget about such things and take care of JT and Papa. I knew that if God wanted me married, He would send me a man who would love Papa and my brother, and we could all live together as one big happy family. I didn’t get my hopes up, however.” She looked a little sad. “Now it doesn’t matter. Papa isn’t here.”
“Let’s not dwell on that. I’m really hoping to better understand my associate. I got the feeling there was something Mr. Sedgwick’s father wanted to say about him, but he held back. You wouldn’t know about some past conflict or trouble, would you?”
Gloriana grew thoughtful. “I remember hearing his mother mention something that happened when he was much younger. This would have been before he left town. Probably when I was just a little girl. I don’t know much about it, but she said he had shamed them—risked his father’s good name. It cost the pastor a great deal of money, but I can’t tell you why. Then he moved to Philadelphia to go to college, and eventually started work at a bank.” She shrugged. “His mother had brief letters over the years. I know he fought for the North in the war. His folks were pleased he’d done at least that much, but I get the impression he’s mostly been a disappointment to them.” She put her hand to her mouth. “I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want to be a gossip.”
“I’m sorry for pressing you for the information. It’s just that I know nothing about him. He works well enough, but he seems cloaked in mystery.” Luke shrugged. “I can’t put my finger on it. He’s willing enough to do what I ask of him, however, so I suppose I should just put aside my concerns and let him work.”
Gloriana got to her feet. “I don’t know. Mama used to say those feelings were there for a reason. She believed it was God’s prodding.”
“But you don’t?”
She didn’t even look at him. “I don’t know what I believe anymore.”
Gloriana hadn’t meant to speak the words aloud, but she ignored them and gathered up the supper dishes. She poured heated water into the basin and chipped off pieces of soap to melt in the water.
“I suppose I’ll be going, but first can I help you by drying the dishes?” Luke asked.
“That’s fine, if you like. JT is working on some homework from school.”
“How’s he doing with all this?”
She frowned, remembering how late JT had been getting home throughout the week. “I think he’s keeping things tight inside. He’s been late from school most every night, but when I try to question him about it, he tells me not to worry so much.”
“Sometimes boys need time to process their thoughts.”
“Girls do too.” She smiled. “It’s just never been like him to keep things from me.”
“Maybe he needs the time to think. I can’t imagine being a boy of eight and losing my father. My mother died when I was just three. She died in childbirth, and I was too young to remember much. My father remarried the next year to Scott’s mother. She was a good stepmother and loved me like her own. She’s gone now too.”
“Did she die when you were young?”
“No.” Luke picked up a dish towel. “When I was twenty. About ten years ago. I mourned her passing greatly. Scott was devastated. She was all kindness and generosity. Where my father failed to have feeling, she more than made up for it.”
“She sounds like my mother. Although my father never failed to have feeling. He was such a good man. He was generous to all. If anyone ever needed help, my father was the first to volunteer. Mama used to say he loved mightily.” She smiled at the memory. She pushed the thought aside. “Speaking of fathers, have you heard from yours regarding Scott’s death?”
“Not yet. I sent him a letter giving as much information as I could. I didn’t say anything about the baby and Sally, however. It was enough that he had to deal with the death of his son. It didn’t feel fair to add to that grief.”
“Still, he’ll have to be told.”
“Yes.” Luke looked as though a heavy burden had just been placed upon his shoulders. For a short time, no one spoke.
Gloriana wasn’t sure what was bothering him regarding telling his father of Sally’s passing and the new baby, but she decided against pressing him on it. “I want to thank you for the new rug. It has warmed the front room considerably, and I’m sure Sally will enjoy crawling on it when she’s older.”
Luke smiled and glanced over his shoulder at the beautiful piece. “Scott had ordered it for the cottage, but there’s no sense putting it in there.” He continued drying the dishes but seemed out of sorts. However, he seemed to push that aside and gave Gloriana a start with his next comment.
&
nbsp; “I’d like to help give you all a happy Christmas. I know it hasn’t been long since our loss, but I’d like to do something for JT’s sake.”
“I’m listening.” She continued washing dishes. She was deeply touched by all that Luke had done for them. She only wished she could figure out how to do for herself in the future.
“I thought maybe when the time comes, we could go cut down a tree and decorate it. Then, Christmas morning, I’ll come and fix you both breakfast and bring gifts.”
“I’m sure JT would enjoy almost anything, but I can’t have you spending a lot of money on him for Christmas. We’ve always kept things very simple. We read the Christmas story and talk about the truth of the celebration. We usually go to church and then come home, and if there are gifts, we share them then.”
A big smile broke across Luke’s face. “It sounds perfect. Do we eat before or after church?”
“After.” She couldn’t help but giggle. She felt like a young, carefree girl. For just a moment.
“Then plan on it.” He took a newly rinsed dish from her hands. “Now I need to figure out some ideas for gifts.”
“Well, I think for now you should probably head home. That’s the last of the dishes, and I have some mending to tend to before I go to bed.”
Luke looked regretful but nodded. He hung the dish towel on the handle of the oven door. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning for church.”
Gloriana shook her head. “No, the weather is too harsh for Sally.”
“Are you sure the weather is the reason? You didn’t go last week either.”
“I’m trying to be mindful of sickness. It killed my mother, brother, and sister. I would think you’d want me to be extremely cautious with your niece.”
“I appreciate that you’re careful with her, but I think you really need to deal with the conflicted feelings you’re having toward God.”
She could hardly believe he’d said that as if it were no more difficult than cleaning a cabbage. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Luke nodded. “I know. But sooner or later you’re going to have to.”
“I’m all done with my homework,” JT said, yawning as he came into the living room. He stood beside Gloriana, who was mending one of his shirts.
“I’m glad. Pretty soon we’ll need to head to bed. I’m sorry you haven’t had any time for playing.”
“That’s all right.” He plopped down on the sofa.
“You want to tell me why you’ve been so late getting home from school? Did you stop off to play first? Is that why you don’t seem too put out about missing out on playing?”
“I’m not being bad, if that’s got you worried.”
She looked at him, surprised by his sass. “That was rather disrespectful, JT. I just like to know where you are. You have chores to do here, and I need to keep on top of your schoolwork. If you don’t show up until supper, it makes you late like you are tonight. You had to wolf down your dinner and then hurry off to finish your work. Now you’ll be heading to bed, and we’ve had no time to enjoy each other’s company.”
“We did at supper. You cooked real good, Gloriana.” He turned on the charm. “Papa said you could make bread even better than Mama.” He frowned. “But I don’t remember.”
“I’m sorry you don’t. Her bread was amazing, and I’m sure if Papa said that, he was just teasing. Mama taught me, after all.”
“I miss her. Aaron and Tabby too. And Papa.” Tears came to his eyes. “I don’t know why they all had to go away.”
Gloriana put aside her sewing and patted her lap. JT crawled up and rested his head on her shoulder. “I don’t either.”
“Pastor said sometimes these things happen, and we never get to know why, but that in heaven we’ll understand.”
A lot of good that did an eight-year-old boy now. Gloriana said nothing despite her thoughts. Instead she hugged him close and hummed a little tune.
“That’s pretty. I like it.”
“Mama used to sing it all the time when we were babies. I found myself singing it to Sally.”
“Baby Sally is lucky she has us, isn’t she?”
“She is. Because we love her and want to take care of her. Not everyone has someone to love them.”
He leaned up to meet her eyes. “Will you always love me, Glory? Even when I’m naughty?”
“Have you been naughty lately?” she asked, still wondering at his late arrivals home.
“No, but I’m bound to mess up. I keep trying to do what I know is right, but sometimes I might not know whether it’s right or wrong. I can’t know everything, Glory.”
She smiled and ran her fingers through his curls. “You’re a very smart boy, and I think if you pay attention to your heart, you’ll know.”
“Because God will tell me?” He looked at her with his huge blue eyes.
Gloriana wasn’t about to bring her spiritual troubles down on him. “Yes. I’m sure God will tell you what to do.”
She could feel confident on his behalf, so why couldn’t she trust that God was still doing the same for her? Why couldn’t she trust that God was listening and still the same caring God she had believed in prior to the death of her father? Even her mother’s death and that of her siblings hadn’t shaken her so.
“I love you, Glory.” JT hugged her neck. “I’ll tell you real soon why I’ve been late. But it’s nothing bad. You gotta trust me.”
She smiled. “I will. Go get your sleep gown on, and I’ll come tuck you in. It sounds like that wind is picking up again, so you might want to wear long socks.”
He got down from her lap and yawned. As she watched him march off, she couldn’t help but think about the future again. What were they going to do? Luke was only here until summer, when the railroad reached completion. Sally was his niece, and despite her mother asking them both to raise the child, that was hardly possible. Especially if he took her back to Philadelphia.
Then there was the obvious issue of finances. What little money her father had put aside was nearly gone, and the help from others, while still generous, couldn’t go on forever. Gloriana would have to get a job. There was no other way.
She considered the possibility of working at a dress shop. She was good with a needle, and the railroad was bringing in more and more families. There would be wealthier folks coming to live in town, and Gloriana was confident she could replicate some of the gowns she saw in Godey’s Lady’s Book. They were the height of fashion.
With a sigh, she gazed into the fire. Then there were her thoughts about Lucas Carson. She liked him very much. He had been such a help and was so kindhearted and generous. He was the kind of man Gloriana could have given her heart to, spent the rest of her life with, raised a family with. She’d found great comfort in Luke’s playing the role of man of the house. She didn’t care that folks in town might be talking about their closeness.
But Luke was from Philadelphia and had no intention of remaining in Duluth. He often talked about his home in the bigger city and of the job he did there for Mr. Jay Cooke. He had shared about his childhood and youth and even told her a few things about the social life he’d known. The only thing he didn’t speak about was the war. Nobody liked to talk about the war.
She could see his handsome face as the flames danced in the hearth. She admired him so much. What man devoted himself so completely to his dead brother’s child? Anyone else would have found the baby a nurse and sent her back to Philadelphia, but Luke wanted Sally here with him.
He’d also been so encouraging in Gloriana’s loss. He had helped JT with his sadness. Just a couple of days ago, she had overheard him comforting the boy when JT broke down over his father’s death. He and Luke talked about how much they missed Papa and Scott. Luke had asked JT to tell him about Papa and listened as JT shared all of the things that were so important to a boy about his father. Things Gloriana hadn’t thought of in a long time, like when Papa had taught JT to fish off one of the river docks. He had carefully ins
tructed JT how to handle the fishing rod and line, but when the time came to cast, JT wasn’t able to coordinate his actions and followed the line right into the river. Thankfully, he already knew how to swim. The memory made Gloriana smile, as she still remembered her father announcing that he hadn’t caught any fish, but he had caught one ornery little boy.
But the time was coming when Luke would go away. She had to remember this and not allow herself or JT to get too attached. How could they possibly bear another loss? Yet even as she considered that question, she knew it would rip her heart apart when Luke took Sally away.
She shook her head and then buried her face in her hands. Why did loving someone have to hurt so much?
Chapter 11
The last person she wanted to see was Pastor Sedgwick, but there he stood at her front door, a big smile on his face and a basket of his wife’s delicious berry muffins in hand.
“Good morning, Gloriana. Greta asked me to bring these to you. She knows how much JT enjoys them and thought you might like to have them.”
“Thank you.” She forced a smile and a welcoming invitation. “Won’t you come inside? It’s quite cold today.”
“That’s November for you,” he declared. “Blustery and damp. Chills a man to the bone.”
“Get warm by the fire if you like.” She took the basket and placed it on the table. “I have a little coffee. Would you like some?” She had a cup or two left over from breakfast with Luke, but if Pastor Sedgwick wanted more than that, she wasn’t sure what she could do. They were out, and there simply wasn’t money for more. She knew the time had come that she had to talk to Luke.
“No, I’m fine.” The pastor smiled. “I’m not going to stay long. I know you’re busy.”
As if on cue, Sally began to cry. Gloriana nodded. “Hold on. I’ll get her.”
She returned with baby Sally in hand. It was amazing how much she had grown in just two months. Gloriana cradled her in a blanket and showed her off for the pastor to see.
“She’s gotten big,” he said.
Destined for You Page 10