JT smiled. “Thanks, Gloriana. You’re the best sister ever.”
She had baked that morning, so she cut him a piece of cinnamon cake to go with his coffee. When everything was ready, she brought it to him in front of the fire. He was sitting on the floor and used his little stool as a makeshift table while battling to keep Jack from his refreshments.
He sampled the coffee and looked up at Gloriana with a revulsion so severe, she almost laughed out loud.
“This is terrible. This is coffee?” he asked.
She frowned. “Let me taste.” She sampled the warm brew. “Yes, this is coffee. A lot of people don’t even use sugar.”
His nose wrinkled. “It’s really bad. Could I have warm milk instead?”
She smiled and kept the mug. “Of course.”
And so that battle was dealt with without so much as a single harsh word. JT had tried his first cup of coffee and didn’t like it. Would that other situations could be as easily resolved.
“Jacob said his dad is building a house for Luke. Did you know about that?”
Gloriana stopped mid-step and slowly turned back to JT. “A house? No, I didn’t know.”
“I guess that means maybe he’s going to stay a long time. Wouldn’t that be great? But I don’t know why he has to move away. You didn’t tell him he had to go, did you?” Jack rose up on his hind legs and tried to reach JT’s cake. JT pushed him down. “No, Jack.”
“Of course I didn’t.” Gloriana looked at her brother and shook her head. “He’s welcome to stay in the cottage as long as he likes.” She went to prepare his milk. Had she somehow made Luke feel that he needed to go?
“Well, Jacob said it’s going to be a big house up by where they’re building Robert Munger’s mansion.”
She stirred the milk in a pan and nodded. Of course. Luke was used to luxury and beauty. A small fishing cottage wasn’t going to please him for long.
“It’s going to be just as big as Mr. Munger’s house too. Jacob said it was huge.”
The Munger house was a mansion and was talked about constantly as the pride of the area. Once completed, it was rumored it would have fifteen rooms. Of course, the Mungers could afford such a place. Mr. Munger owned a flour mill, sawmill, and coal dock, just to name a few. He was also the head man pushing for the building of a canal. He had big plans for Duluth.
It seemed only right that a wealthy man like Luke might follow suit. Gloriana had no idea what his future plans were beyond seeing the railroad completed this summer, but maybe he wanted to stay. She knew he was also involved in the Northern Pacific’s creation, so perhaps he had agreed to work for Mr. Cooke in a more permanent capacity that would see him become a long-time resident of Duluth. She could only hope so.
After testing the milk, Gloriana poured it into a mug and then put a tiny bit on a saucer for Jack and brought both to JT. “Here you go. I’m sure this will be more to your liking.”
JT put the saucer down for Jack and laughed as the puppy plunged his nose into the milk.
The wind whined against the house. There was a definite leakage of air, but Gloriana wasn’t sure where it was coming from nor how to fix it.
“I wonder, brother of mine, would you have time to help me with something?”
“I was going to play with Jack and the soldiers Luke gave me.” He put the mug aside and devoted his attention to the cake.
“Well, this was something Papa would have taken care of, but I suppose I can ask Luke when he visits later.”
“No, I’ll help,” JT said, finishing off the cake. “I’m the man of the house now.”
She knelt beside him and shook her head. “No, you are the eight-year-old of the house. You don’t have to be a man just yet, but I am very grateful for your help and company. I don’t ever want you to think you have to take on Papa’s duties just yet. You need time to be a boy and have fun, as well as work. I’m only asking that you help here and there.”
JT’s expression was solemn. “I want to help. Luke said it was important that family take care of each other. I already knew that, ’cause Papa said it too.”
Gloriana smiled. “Well, we need to go around the house and find all the places where the wind is getting in. Baby Sally won’t be safe if she gets too cold, so we need to figure out how to plug up the leaks.”
The wind blew harder still, and JT moved a little closer to the fire. “I can help you do that, Glory. It won’t be hard, especially today.”
She got back to her feet. “We can start in here and go room to room, if you like. But first, since I feel certain the wind is going to be howling for hours, why don’t you go play with your soldiers?”
He popped up, grinning. “I have a battle going on.”
“I’ll just bet you do.” She gathered up his dishes as JT started for his room. Jack followed him. “Try not to be too noisy. Sally’s napping. Oh, and don’t forget to bring Jack to the papers from time to time.”
She took the dishes to the kitchen and set them in the sink. She would wash them along with the supper things later. Thinking of supper, she opened the oven door to check the stew she’d created. Mrs. Sedgwick had given her a crate of canned vegetables she’d put up earlier in the summer. Gloriana had used some of those along with a chunk of roasted beef to make the meal. This would feed them tonight, along with fresh bread and butter, and the aroma was starting to make her mouth water. They had always eaten a lot of fish, and beef was a rare treat. JT would be happy for the change. Papa had always been too.
Gloriana paused and let a memory come to mind. Mama and Papa had once talked about buying a dairy cow, and that had started them thinking about other animals. What if they were to buy a couple of beef calves and raise them to slaughter? The children would be the ones to tend the animals, and Gloriana remembered thinking it a fun idea. The problem came in actually killing and eating the animals she knew would become pets.
She hugged her arms close and smiled as tears came to her eyes. She missed her family so much. Memories were all she had, and those were bittersweet and often too much to bear.
Why, God? Why did You take them all? Did I somehow fail to pray for them correctly? Did I somehow fail You, so You felt I needed punishment?
She had been so hesitant to pray—even to question the Almighty about her situation. After so much loss and pain, she was almost afraid to bring herself to God’s attention, and yet she wanted so much to know the answers.
“I’m so alone.” She tightened her grip on her arms, trying her best to feel something other than emptiness.
Storms only reminded her of Papa’s death—of the fragility of life. She went to the window again and looked out at the lake. Part of the window was iced with frost. Apparently her first leak to plug would be around that window.
The snow made it impossible to see anything. Gloriana thought of her life here in Duluth. She’d never traveled anywhere else or seen any other town, but right now she wished she could be far away.
Tears continued to stream down her cheeks. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn’t she just cast aside her pain and be unmoved? There would always be time for tears in the solitude of her bed. Nighttime was the perfect cover for such things. But standing here now, with JT only just down the hall, Gloriana risked showing him her sadness. She had worked so hard not to break down in front of him.
There was a rattle and then a knock at the door. Gloriana raised her apron to dry her eyes. She knew if anyone looked closely, however, they’d be able to see she’d been crying.
She opened the door to find Luke standing there, covered in snow. “Get inside, quick.” She stepped back to give him room.
Luke laughed and came into the house, pulling off his coat at the same time. “Here, let me shake it outside.” He turned and gave the coat a snap, then handed it to Gloriana. He grabbed his hat and gave a few swipes with his gloved hand, then slammed the door closed against the wind. “I was worried about JT. I heard they closed school early, and I wanted to mak
e sure he got home.”
“He did.” Gloriana turned away to hang up the coat. “He and Jack are in his room, playing out some battle, if you’d like to go see him.” She drew a deep breath. “I’ll put some fresh coffee on in the meantime. There’s also some cake if you’re hungry. Supper will be a few hours still.”
“That sounds inviting, but I can’t stay long. I still have a lot of work. Since I was headed over to the Clark House, I thought it would be easy enough to stop here first.”
Gloriana pretended to be busy at the stove. She checked the stew again. “What about coffee? Would you like me to make some?”
“No. I’ll wait and have it with supper.”
He said nothing more, and Gloriana fought to keep her emotions under control. She didn’t want to break down in front of him.
“Gloriana, what’s wrong?”
She heard the softness of his tone. She hadn’t been able to hide her sorrow from him. For a moment she wondered what she could say. He had to know she was still grieving.
“It’s just . . .” She paused to choose her words carefully. “It’s just a hard day. The storm and all.” There. She’d managed to say it without sobbing.
“I’m so sorry. I hadn’t even thought about the storm stirring up your sorrow. Forgive me.”
She nodded but refused to look at him. “Nothing to forgive. I’ll be just fine. JT and I have a plan for scouting out all the drafts in the house. We’re going to use newspaper and braided rags to seal off the windows. We can’t have Sally getting chilled.
“Oh, speaking of houses, JT tells me you’re building one. Does this mean Mr. Cooke wants you to stay on in the area after the train line is complete in the summer?”
“Gloriana, stop.” Luke had moved across the room to stand directly behind her. He reached out and turned her to face him. “You don’t have to hide your feelings from me.”
She glanced up and saw the kindness in his expression. It was her undoing, and tears flooded her eyes. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want to upset JT.”
Luke pulled her into his arms, and Gloriana allowed herself to stay there for a moment. How wonderful to be held by someone who cared. Just to feel the warmth of another human being—to know she wasn’t alone. He held her close while she cried, never attempting to hush her or tell her to be strong. He seemed to understand that she had no strength to give. What a tenderhearted man.
“I should have realized you would be thinking of your father since you lost him during a storm.”
“It’s not just him,” she murmured. “It’s everyone. They’re all gone, and I am so alone.”
“You aren’t alone. Not as long as I’m here.”
She was grateful he hadn’t said anything about JT or Sally. She knew they were still there and dependent upon her, but she was void of people she could count on for counsel and strength. She couldn’t even turn to God, and that was the biggest void of all.
As if hearing her thoughts, Luke spoke. “Gloriana, sooner or later you’re going to have to reconcile with God. That’s what’s hurting you the most right now. You may not realize it, but it’s the truth. For a young woman who has spent her life honoring God and trusting in Him for her needs, to walk away from Him now at such a difficult time makes everything worse.”
She pulled back. “I didn’t walk away. He did.”
“Did He? Or did He just not keep your life in the order you had become accustomed to?”
“What good is it to be a Christian and serve Him if we cannot trust Him to protect us from evil and bad things?”
“When did He fail you in that area?” Luke asked, his voice barely a whisper.
“By taking my family. My father.” Was it really so hard for him to understand?
“There are things that will happen to us over the course of our lifetime. Things that cause us great sorrow and pain, but that hardly equates to God’s lack of protection and love. Gloriana, God didn’t walk away. You did. You turned your back on Him because He didn’t do things your way. It’s hard to lose your father, but he was right with God when the end came. I know it’s hard without him, and I would give just about anything to give him back to you, but instead I’ll give you what I can. Myself.”
She looked deep into his eyes and could see the depth of his sincerity. How she wanted to trust in that pledge, but Luke was here today and gone tomorrow. At least that was the way Gloriana saw it.
Before she realized what was happening, she found Luke’s mouth upon hers. The kiss was tender and promising. She momentarily lost herself in that single, simple action. It was her first kiss—probably her last. She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the gesture.
But then reasonable thought returned, and she jumped back, pushing him away at the same time.
“No! I can’t. I can’t let myself care about you only to lose you when summer ends. Do you realize how hard it is to care for someone you know you will soon be parted from? I take care of Sally every day and grow closer and closer to her, only to know that when your job here is done, you’ll take her away from me. I spend time with you and care for you as well, but soon you’ll be gone. I can’t bear it, Luke. I just can’t lose anyone else.”
Luke touched her cheek. “I have no intention of leaving you, Gloriana, nor of taking Sally away from you. You are the baby’s mother as sure as anything. I wouldn’t hurt you that way.”
“But by your own admission, you don’t know what the future holds. Your father may desire to take Sally, and your own ambitions may take you from here. I just can’t do this. Don’t ask me to . . . care for you.”
She had nearly said the word love. She would have begged him not to let her fall in love with him, but she knew it was too late for that. She was already in love with Lucas Carson, and nothing would change that.
As her mother used to say to Papa, “My heart is destined for you, and nothing will ever change that.” Now Gloriana knew exactly what that meant.
“I’m sorry, Gloriana. I shouldn’t have done that.” Luke stepped back with a worried look on his face. “Please forgive me. I took what was not mine to take.”
She wasn’t at all sorry for the kiss, nor for his compassion, but the pain building inside of her was almost too much to bear. “Don’t apologize.” She shook her head. “Please don’t apologize.”
She heard Sally’s whimpered cry and hurried from the room. The thought of Luke being sorry for having kissed her only made matters worse.
Chapter 16
By Monday they had a foot of snow, and it made moving around town quite perilous. Still, Luke had work that required his attention, and he couldn’t forsake it merely because of snow. He trudged up the hill to his office, hardly seeing anyone on the streets. Folks had apparently found ways to do what was needed without having to come outside. They were a smart bunch up here. Gloriana had told him that everyone worked hard all year to ensure survival. Thankfully, wood was plentiful, so keeping warm was no problem. The churches were mindful of the widows and poorer families who had no one to keep on top of their needs. Just last week, the pastor had asked for a team of men to take firewood to a woman with five small children. Her husband was one of the men who had died with Gloriana’s father and Luke’s brother.
Thinking of Gloriana only brought back memories of their kiss. Luke had kissed other young ladies, but never had it affected him like this kiss. He found himself thinking about Gloriana constantly—about how well they fit together—about how right that kiss had felt. But maybe most startling of all, Luke never wanted to kiss anyone else. The thought of it had no appeal. He was in love with Gloriana and intended to make that kiss the first of many.
She had pushed him away, however. That was something he couldn’t ignore. But her feelings for him were clear. She cared for him—the kiss wasn’t abhorrent to her, just frightening. It was only fear that caused her to walk away. She was terrified of the future.
Luke opened the door to his office to find the room warm and well lit. Theodor
e Sedgwick glanced up from his desk, then got up to help Luke with his coat and hat.
“I was told it’s minus ten degrees Fahrenheit today,” Theodore declared. “Hard on man and beast alike.”
“How cold can it get here?” Luke unwound the knitted scarf he wore.
“I believe the record is around minus forty,” Theodore answered as he went to hang up Luke’s coat on the coat tree.
“Grief, but that’s cold. We were never that cold in Philadelphia.”
“No, the weather was milder,” Theodore replied.
Luke stopped and looked at him. He had a vague recollection that Gloriana had said something about Theodore living in Pennsylvania. “When did you live in Philadelphia?”
“Many years ago. Before the war. I wasn’t there long. I was there again just before coming here. It’s a lovely town. I very much enjoy the history of our Founding Fathers and how Philadelphia was once the center of our government. It still holds great interest in our country’s finances.”
Luke nodded and handed his hat and gloves to Theodore as well. “It’s a nice town, but while my father desires it for his home, I’m mixed. I have seen a lot of the world and have to admit there are other places that intrigue me more. Duluth being one of them.”
“I heard you’re building a new house. Does that mean you intend to stay on?”
“Mr. Cooke has asked me to, and I see no reason not to,” Luke admitted. “I have quite a few interests here, and investing in this town appeals to me. What do you think? Is it a good place to invest in?”
Theodore seemed taken aback by his question. “I . . . well, I think it is. Obviously, there is reason to believe it might very well be the next Chicago.” He smiled. “I would invest heavily had I the means to do so.”
Luke chuckled. “That was my thinking too. The lake alone makes it valuable.”
Theodore took his seat. “Undoubtedly.”
Luke made his way to his office and thought of the various opportunities he’d already heard about. This morning he was set to have a meeting with Roger Munger regarding the canal he wanted to see built. Luke was more than a little interested in hearing all of the details. He had a feeling, given the kind of money being invested in the city by Jay Cooke, it would behoove him to have a working knowledge of other projects that might also benefit his boss. However, he was also looking for personal investments, and the canal sounded like a good one.
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