by Alisa Mullen
She took the bill out of my hand with a small smile and she literally lunged herself towards the front door. I laughed at her dramatic escape and got back to work.
“Is she someone serious?” Bold asked from his station.
I grunted with indecision. In no way was I going to spill my heart out to the smokes.
“If she isn’t, then I just wanted to remind you that Laura still is asking about you. Danielle and I thought about doing a double next weekend,” he continued.
I didn’t say anything. Laura was a fucking hot chick I had known for about a year and we had been dancing around each other for months. She was dating some jackass and I won’t ever cheat. I am honest to a fault and if a dude could lay claim on a girl, she wasn’t for me. Not while she was still with him, anyway.
Did Aoife have a boyfriend back home? No. She would have said something. It occurred to me then that Teagan never told Lizzie he was seeing someone back in Ireland. The again, she never even thought to ask because he was really awesome to her during the summer. Lizzie told me about the good and the bad. The bad, for me personally, totally blew the good out of the water and I ranked that scum bag as the lowest form of a decent human being out there.
Dismissing that thought, I looked back up to Bold. “Huh?” I asked.
“You, me, Danielle, Laura? Hanging out?” He gave me that look like he thought I was an idiot.
“Nah, man. I think I am going to be chilling with Aoife next weekend,” I said and started the last finish of color on my client.
Chapter Thirteen
Aoife
Sean said nice things and I did love to hear him call me babe and sweetheart but I knew, I really knew what I was to him.
Yeah, I was infatuated with Sean at first sight but no way did he feel the same way towards me. First, he was much older than me. Then, he was just trying to get over the sting of Lizzie. I had seen the way he looked after her at the party. Then I thought about how he had kissed me in front of those boys at his shop. I exhaled slowly and took my time walking.
None of it mattered. I was a doormat for guys. A doormat was a doormat no matter what the seasonal saying of joy was its decoration. People walked on it every day, pretty or not.
I was being used as a willing female. Even when I wasn't willing – I was used. It wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last a man had me under his spell. Sean was just the best looking one. I did like him; I did wish for the fairy tale but I knew those didn't exist. I was a replacement or a distraction from the beautiful Lizzie O'Malley and I would be that agreeable distraction for as long as he wanted me.
Sean was so beautiful. He was so sweet and attentive but none of that lasted forever. One day he would wake up and realize I wasn't the person I presented myself to be and he would leave. Because they all just stuck around to get what they wanted until they were tired of me or moved on to the next willing female.
Men left me but only after they hurt me. I would not give up my secrets to anyone here, including Sean, and I wouldn’t expose myself to any more ridicule. I was escaping my real life back home to experience a fantasy world.
I had to keep telling myself it was for the best.
Chapter Fourteen
Sean
Ricky was my last appointment of the night and just as I finished up a frog on some chick’s ankle, he called to say that his kid was sick so he had to reschedule. Ricky was a middle aged guy – a businessman who commuted into the city every day. He was a longtime client of mine, always coming it to add to shit he had done when I was probably still in diapers. I am pretty sure I had tattooed over most of his body but we were working on some old art that was starting to fade. It was a blast to bring a piece back to life and he was a huge tipper so I was a little bit bummed.
That was until I remembered I had a beautiful, brown haired, green eyed Irish girl waiting on me. I looked up to the clock to see that it was almost ten o’clock and Aoife hadn’t come back to The Ink Shop. I frowned at that thought and wondered what time my second client had shown up because that was when she took off. I knew it had to be before eight. Two hours? Alone on the streets, albeit Newburyport, but still. It wasn’t lost on me that I was paying attention to the time. Time never mattered before.
My time and my schedule were messed. Before tonight, I would show up at The Ink Shop, work on whoever came at me and then head to the bar or home. Now that she was around in the general vicinity, I was so fucking thrilled we had come in early on the account of more clients than artists and that I was getting out before midnight.
I started to clean up my station, hummed along to some Coldplay song on the radio, and tried to think of where on River Street she could have gone with only twenty bucks on her. Shit, I hope she wasn’t in trouble. I went to grab my cell phone and remembered that I didn’t have her phone number yet. Stupid prepaid flip phone. Fuck. That would have to change. I didn’t want her paying for minutes.
I had a sudden urge to pay closer attention to her needs financially. I would make sure she didn’t go without while she was here. She was a beautiful Irish princess and for now, she was into me. I wondered if she cared about our age difference. The guys probably thought I had robbed the cradle. Fuck them, too.
I looked down at my cell phone log and frowned. Lizzie’s name took up one solid page of missed calls. This was getting to be ridiculous. What did she expect me to do? Give her a play by play on my weekend with Irish? I call bullshit. This incessant calling shit was ending now. I pushed the button.
“Why are you ignoring me, Seany?” Lizzie complained to me without even a hello and on the first ring I might add. She was waiting for my call. Lizzie O’Malley was waiting for me. It gave me a weird feeling in my chest. How many times had I prayed for her to wait for me? I had to remind myself she wasn’t waiting the way I had hoped. It was a new chapter. She loved me in a new way now. I felt it. And wasn’t that just fucked up? I couldn’t follow.
“Lizzie, I am working and I am hanging out with Aoife so before you warn me against her, you have to know it won’t make a bit of difference. What is so important that you called me over ten times?” I questioned in a more irritated tone than she deserved. Between cleaning up, not knowing Aoife’s whereabouts, and this continuous line of questioning, I was beat. I didn’t have manners and I was well aware of that.
“Are you upset with me or something?” She cautioned – sounding really concerned.
I wasn’t. I wasn’t upset with anything. I was irritated that the one day I openly wanted to be with another girl, Lizzie had to butt in. I was a rubber ball of emotions – bouncing around the room and it didn’t stop when I asked people to knock it off with their opinions. I was Sean. I answered to no one anymore.
“No, Liz, I am not mad at you. I am working and I am about to leave, so what’s up?” My tone was lighter, more the Sean she knew.
“Are you going out with Aoife?” Worry was evident in her voice.
She might as well have taken a sledgehammer and thrown it at my chest. I said Aoife’s name a million times over in my head today but hearing the name coming from Lizzie’s mouth was all sorts of wrong.
“Yeah,” I confirmed with a blasé approach.
“Sean,” she exhaled. “There is more to Aoife’s life that you need to know before you get involved with her.”
Conversation officially over.
I was not taking relationship advice from the girl that had let my heart split open and melt for years and years. It was not happening. I would no longer look in the mirror and wonder if it was my muscles or my tattoos that didn’t appeal to her. Nick was my exact opposite and I was fully aware of that fact. No more. Aoife loved, and I know she craved, both my ink and my strong muscles as they pleasured her body. Damn, I was getting hard just thinking of earlier that day.
“No, Lizzie. I am hanging with Aoife because I am really into her, alright? I want to like her and I do like her – for real. The only thing I want to know is if she has a boy
back home because that would be the one thing that tears me from continuing to see her while she is in Boston.”
Lizzie was quiet. Eerily quiet. It was distracting me from getting my shit cleaned up to go. I had to sit otherwise I didn’t know what to concentrate on more. Was I supposed to say something else? I didn’t have any explanation left in me.
“So?” I asked, throwing one hand up to run through my hair.
“No, she doesn’t have a boyfriend back home but listen…” she started.
“Nope,” I cut her off. “Don’t want to hear it. If she has something she needs to tell me, she will tell me. I am not playing games with you or her. Yes, you and I are friends but remember, I was always the one that stayed out of that shit with you, Nick, and Sam. Remember? I remained your friend without saying a damn word about what I thought about that fucked up scenario. So don’t be that person that tells me shit that I should know and don’t. Just… just keep being my friend. Alright?”
Did that question just come out of my mouth? I did a little fist pump.
“Wow. Okay, Sean. I will always be your friend no matter what. You’re right. Shit, sometimes, I just want to take care of people because I didn’t… well – I didn’t always know what I know now about life and people,” she observed as she was probably remembering Teagan and Conner. Would she have done anything differently had she known the total truth about them?
Lizzie continued.
“If she wants to tell you, she will. I guess I was just worried about you.” Her voice was not Lizzie’s. She sounded small. Small and put in her place about what we were to each other. We were friends. That was it. I wasn’t waiting around anymore. I wasn’t begging for crumbs. I was done. Whether she knew on a conscious or subconscious level that I had always wanted more with her, she knew now that I was over it.
“Thanks, Lizzie. Give the kids a kiss from Uncle Sean,” I added as an olive branch to this very awkward conversation. I wanted her to know that she and her kids were so damn important to me. They were probably family, I thought as I said the word “uncle.”
“You’ll call me soon?” She ordered rather than asked. Her tone was still so small, so contradictory to her order and Lizzie’s normal tone of voice.
“You bet,” I assured her. “Talk to you soon.” I added a little smile to my promise so she wouldn’t call me again with warnings. She had to let me and this thing with Aoife play out. It...Aoife was important to me, I decided as I went to work on the tools.
I clicked off the phone and finished up cleaning. I tipped my imaginary hat at 100’s and Filter, two other weekend artists and headed out the door. It was a kick ass night. The stars were out and it was busy for a night in Newburyport. I looked to my left, knowing that if Aoife was going to go in a direction it would have been towards town, towards the lights of the harbor.
My eyes were all over the place as I scoured the street. She was so small and I forgot what she was wearing. I knew she had jean shorts on and damn, her legs were so amazing to feel. My heart started to beat harder as I imagined not being able to find her.
When I saw her across the street, my chest let out a grateful and audible hiss. She was all alone and staring into a shop window from the sidewalk. She was avidly watching whatever was inside and she was lit up like an angel by the stores inside lights. This made me question why she hadn’t gone inside to check whatever it was even closer but I also thanked God for the fact she hadn’t. I would have never gone in whatever store that was for her in my pursuit. I cocked my head to the side, trying to see what she was so enraptured with.
I inched a little closer, stealthily staying out of her line of sight. The store wasn’t a store at all. It was a martial arts place. I stopped in my tracks as I watched a woman take another man’s leg positioned at her throat, twist it, karate chop his back knee, and fall to the ground with him. That little woman had just taken a two hundred and fifty pound muscular guy down. That was fucking impressive and I nearly went to clap.
Instead, I looked to Aoife’s face, hoping I hadn’t missed her reaction. Her expression was full of admiration. She giggled a little as the rest of the crowd started clapping at the woman’s expert moves. I needed that giggle in the side of my neck as I held her. It had been too long.
“Aoife?” I called out to her as I made large strides across the road.
She turned around and smiled brightly at me. “Oh. Hey, Sean. I’m sorry. I was watching these people do karate. It is really cool.” She had her thumb pointed to the open window of the school.
I took her up in my arms and kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t be sorry. Karate is really popular for a reason. You know they do let you go in and watch.”
“That’s okay. It is fun to watch from out here. I don’t like to be around crowds, remember?”
“I do remember,” I said into her ear, giving her chills on her arms that I warmed with the strokes of my hands.
Two more people got up on the mat and began another match of strong and rapid movements. I held her as we both watched the pair go at each other. When the woman planted her knee into the guy’s groin, Aoife sucked in her breath and I chuckled. He was definitely down for the count.
“Fascinating shit, huh?” I didn’t give a flying fuck about the karate. I was fascinated by her and as weird as it sounded, I think I had downplayed her beauty while I worked. She was phenomenal.
“Sean, I want to learn how to do that,” she said, turning around in my arms, looking into my eyes with determination and hope.
“Anything you want, Aoife. Let’s call them this week. I will take some classes with you. I’ll even let you kick me in the balls like that girl just did,” I laughed.
“Seriously?” She looked shocked. “You would really take classes with me?” I don’t think she had noticed that she was gripping on to my tee shirt so hard that I felt the back of it dig into my neck.
“Yeah, babe. We’ll do it here or in Boston. Wherever you want to go, I will go with you. I will fight against you and with you.”
She kissed me hard on the lips. It was a possessive kiss. A kiss that was so hard, I wouldn’t have been able to open my mouth if I wanted to. This wasn’t a romantic gesture, a sexual fore-player. This kiss was a hardcore thank you kiss. She could thank me all she wanted as long as I got to grab her ass while she did it. Which I did at that moment and my grab-ass prompted her to giggle, loosening her death grip on my neck.
“Let me look into it this week, okay? Right now I want to get some food and head back to my place.”
Like five minutes ago, I thought. I wanted her under me. I wanted to just be with her.
Aoife’s grin turned into a little naughty smirk as she squeezed my hand, intertwining our hands. “What do you want to eat?”
“Do you feel like pizza?”
“Sounds good.”
An hour later, we were half dressed with a large mushroom and black olive pizza across my bed. She took a piece of cheese off her pizza and almost groaned like she did when she came. My body immediately reacted.
“Good lord, woman,” I said as I tossed the box to the floor and moved on top of her. I tickled under her armpits which made her laugh out loud. I pulled up her shirt to give her kiss to her tummy and stopped.
Aoife continued to giggle from my tickling until she realized I wasn’t moving. She gasped and pulled her shirt down so far that she punched me in the face from the force of her movements.
I got up off of her and grabbed the remote to the television, muting Law and Order. I turned around to find her face in her hands. She was trembling. Was she crying? Was she scared? Fuck, I was scared for her.
“Aoife,” I whispered as I moved towards her closer with great care. I didn’t want her to shut me out.
“I am so sorry. You told me you wanted to keep your shirt on and I just totally disrespected you. I am not going to say that I am not concerned about those scars on your stomach and if you ever want to talk to me, I am here.”
Her tear
reddened face looked up to me in surprise. “You aren’t going to ask how I got them.”
It took everything I had inside of me – all the willpower I had ever had for anything – to shake my head.
“Really?” she asked.
“No,” I whispered. “I want you to want to tell me about you – good and bad. I think I should tell you some things about me, too.”
“We just met,” she said.
“I know.” I knew that and I hated that. It didn’t make any sense. I had known other girls for way longer and never had the need to put myself totally out there for them to criticize or get turned off. With Aoife, it was sort of immediate. I would show and tell her everything about me – good and bad and I knew without hesitation that she would not only love me but admire me even more than she did right now. Was that instant love? Was that instant anything? What did I have to lose with Aoife? I take that back – what did I have to lose besides her?
“Is it too soon to tell our secrets, Sean?” Even though she used a whispering tone, her whole body implored me for an answer, the answer. It was as if I knew what the rules for us were. I was fully aware that she had much depth and history to her life.
I stared at her and I wanted to plead, adamantly explain why it wasn’t too soon for us to know everything we could about each other. If there were some way to drill something into her head that would provide me with a narrative of everything she had been through I would rather have done that – perhaps in her sleep – so I didn’t have to look at the saddened fear she had as she waited for my response.
“I can’t answer that, Aoife. I want to say no because I only get you for a couple of months and then… who knows what will happen. I want to say no because you are the first girl I have ever wanted to dump all of my garbage out in front of. I trust you. I think I need to tell you everything or I won’t be doing this friendship or relationship justice. What are secrets to us anyway? What will they do to us? We already have thousands of miles up against us.”