But what about Levy? I sat down on the couch with a thump. Surely Jim was right, and Levy was with his parents. Surely he was fine. And there was nothing I could do, not at this hour of night. I didn’t want to think of Levy, not at this moment. I would worry about Levy tomorrow.
I felt absurdly happy. Jim was entirely different to Denys, who had been my first serious lover. My only lover. He had been persuasive on the night before he left for Scapa Flow.
‘I may die up there. We’re getting married. Everybody is jumping into bed. There’s no point in waiting. Please, Lily. I need you so much. Don’t let me go away like this.’
Katherine had known the moment she saw me the following day.
‘It’s Russian roulette with your life, Lily, not to have taken the proper precautions,’ she had told me firmly.
‘It will be fine. I love him. We’re getting married.’
Three weeks later, Denys died. In my grief I forgot to count the weeks. One month, two months went by. I turned to Katherine, terrified I was facing an unwanted pregnancy. I had no money, I was far from home and unmarried. Society judged very harshly the women who were seen to defy its rules.
‘You’ll need to decide what you want to do,’ she had said.
‘I don’t know what to do. I can’t think.’
She made an appointment for me to see the doctor who ‘made arrangements’ for all the society women. It was probably the most embarrassing experience of my life, visiting that ugly little doctor in Knightsbridge, and I had no idea what I would do if he confirmed my fears. But after he examined me he told me that I was not pregnant. He recommended contraception and said he could arrange it.
Katherine was a firm follower of Marie Stopes. ‘No child that is unwanted should ever be conceived, and women should be free to love without fear,’ was her motto. ‘Please do Lily, you can’t go through this again.’
In the bittersweet joy of knowing I was not carrying Denys’s child, and at Katherine’s urging, I let the little doctor fit the device. In the past year it had remained in its box, unused. I had not found or sought another love affair. At first it was because I was mourning Denys, later the Blitz drained my energy and left too little time for dalliance.
Now, I would see what happened.
Jim arrived the following day just before lunch and swept me into a kiss that was entirely and satisfyingly passionate.
‘First fall of snow?’ I asked dryly, when he released me.
He looked at me until my gaze fell away, overwhelmed by the burning intensity in his eyes. He said something in Russian and kissed me again.
‘Before you ask,’ he said, ‘I’ve not been able to find out yet which hospital Mrs Levy was admitted to, but I’ve made enquiries and left messages. I don’t really want to spend the day by the telephone waiting for news, so could we try to put David out of our minds, just for a while. I’m sure that he’s with his parents and has forgotten about everything else. If he’s not at your station tomorrow morning I’ll pull out all the stops and find him for you.’
It wasn’t difficult to believe that he was right about Levy; I so wanted it to be true.
‘All right. What do you have in mind for today?’
‘What about some fresh air? Hampstead Heath?’
It was a day of sunshine and unexpected showers. He drove to Hampstead and we lunched in a little tearoom on the High Street. We walked on the Heath until the light began to fade, discussing those inconsequential matters – favourite songs, colours, books, childhood memories, likes and dislikes – that new couples find so fascinating, and in the evening we dined in a small restaurant near his flat in Mayfair. As the day progressed I began to get the measure of this stranger I had allowed into my life.
Levy had been right. Jim was shy. He hid it behind a grave courtesy and dry humour that I suspected could all too easily be mistaken for pomposity or condescension. That was unfortunate, as I felt sure he was no snob. His courtesy extended to everyone we met. He was quiet, unembarrassed by silence, but when we discussed a topic that interested him, such as flying, he would talk eagerly. The breadth of his reading was astonishing, but he wore his learning lightly, and we were able to talk easily together.
After dinner he drove me home, and although we kissed in my small hallway, he soon put me at arm’s length.
‘It’s my first day in my new duties tomorrow,’ he said, ‘and you’ve another tough shift ahead of you. Be sure to give my regards to David when you see him.’ He smiled. ‘Would you care to meet me for dinner tomorrow evening?’
‘I would.’
Another quick kiss, and he was gone.
Levy was not at the station when I arrived at nine o’clock the next morning, and had still not arrived ten minutes later. If I had been anxious before, now I was filled with dread.
‘What’s wrong, Brennan? And wherever is Levy?’ Maisie asked with a sympathetic smile.
‘I don’t know. I’m worried sick about him.’
‘Mrs Coke hasn’t come in yet, either,’ she said. ‘What’s going on around here?’
Through the window I could see Moray talking to Fripp in the office.
‘I’ll see if Moray’s heard anything,’ I said, rising.
The door to the office was slightly open. I raised my hand to knock, when I heard Fripp say, ‘And I nearly fainted when Sadler mentioned Soho.’
‘That’s enough.’ Moray’s voice was sharply imperative. ‘He’s got nothing to do with this.’
‘Sorry.’ Fripp sounded contrite. ‘When are we meeting next?’
‘Usual day, time and place.’
‘I don’t like the usual place.’
‘It’s private.’
‘Will Mr Mitchell be there?’ Fripp sounded almost girlish.
‘You’re rather partial to him, aren’t you?’
‘He’s a very nice man.’ Now she sounded prim. ‘Did you know that he’s read . . . the book . . . in the original German?’
‘Bully for him,’ said Moray. ‘Now back to work with you. You’re accompanying Brennan again.’
‘I don’t like Brennan.’
‘You’ll work well enough with her if you keep away from politics. She’ll never agree, so there’s no point in talking to her about it. Especially now Levy’s disappeared.’
‘Where is he anyway? Did you—’
‘There’s no news about Levy. Now, back to work. And remember, no discussing politics when you’re out with Brennan.’
I whirled away from the door. When Fripp reappeared I was sitting in the common room pondering what I had just overheard. It sounded terribly suspicious, her remark about the German book. Was she speaking of Hitler’s Mein Kampf? Yet surely even Fripp wouldn’t be so stupid as to mention that, here in the station. More disturbing to me, however, was hearing that there was no news of Levy.
Fripp came waving a chit at me. ‘I’m to be assisting you again,’ she said. ‘It’s a mortuary run. Come along.’
‘Just a moment. I want a word with Moray.’
I knocked briskly on the door and entered at Moray’s command.
‘Is there any information about Levy?’
He frowned at the desk and shuffled some papers before looking up at me.
‘I’ve heard nothing. I’ll make some enquiries when you’re out this morning.’
I was about to leave him when Mrs Coke arrived. She seemed agitated as she pushed past me into the office. I closed the door behind her, but could not help myself from watching the pair of them through the window. Mrs Coke was in tears in front of Moray’s desk.
‘Come on,’ said Fripp.
‘Just a minute,’ I replied, transfixed by the scene in the office. I exchanged looks with Maisie, who shrugged.
Mrs Coke dabbed at her wet eyes with a handkerchief as Moray rose from the desk, came to the door, poked his head out and asked Harris to come into the office. She put her knitting to one side and went in.
‘We should go,’ said Fripp, now impatient.
‘Just a minute.’
Harris, Moray and Mrs Coke engaged in an animated conversation, then all three of them came into the common room.
‘I have to tell you,’ said Mrs Coke, in a faltering voice and quite unlike her usual decisive manner, ‘that for the next few weeks at least, I will be taking sick leave.’
The news was greeted with a stunned silence.
‘I did not want to bother you with my concerns,’ she went on, ‘and although I have attempted to continue in these strenuous duties, I have been instructed to rest. Mr Moray will be acting station officer until I am well enough to return, and he will be assisted by McIver and by Harris, who will be acting as deputy.’
Moray said some words about how much we would miss her and there was some desultory clapping. Mrs Coke strode out of the common room with her back straight and head high. It was a grand exit.
‘What was that all about?’ asked Fripp, as we drove to the incident site.
‘I haven’t a clue.’
That was a lie. I was fairly sure it had something to do with Levy’s evidence that Mrs Coke had engaged in fraud, and I had to wonder whether it had any bearing on Levy’s disappearance. Mrs Coke had made threats against him on Friday evening, after all.
I wondered if Jim had been able to find out the hospital where Levy’s mother had been taken. If he had then I’d go there as soon as I could, but there was nothing I could do now except drive the Monster and do my job.
As I went about my duties with Fripp I was surprised to discover that she was less squeamish than I was about dealing with body parts. I could only assume that her fears centred upon injury to herself, and thus she could deal with the horror of death or injury to others without fuss. Consequently we managed fairly well together, despite the gruesome condition of some of the bodies that had been removed after some days in a caved-in cellar.
‘Kensington was hit badly last night,’ she said, as we headed back to Woburn Place that afternoon. ‘Especially Campden Hill. There was a lot of damage as I cycled to work this morning.’
I made a non-committal sound and stared doggedly out of the windscreen.
‘Mummy, Daddy and I spent the night in the backyard shelter, and it rocked like a cradle. I heard that Marble Arch and the City were hit badly. The old Dutch Church – the Church of Austin Friars in the City – that’s been completely demolished.’
I murmured something about it being a terrible shame.
‘Do you think Mrs Coke is really ill?’
‘I have no idea.’
‘I think she’s been involved in questionable activities. She was always with Knaggs and Sadler, who are obviously connected with the black market, and Knaggs was caught looting, after all.’
‘Who knows?’
‘It’s interesting that Levy was the one to catch Knaggs in the act.’
‘Hmmm.’
‘How did he know when to go after him? I think Levy was spying on them. Was he?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘So, what do you think? Is he dead?’ Fripp sounded unconcerned, but curious. I flinched to hear the words. The woman had the sensitivity of a brick.
‘If you mean Levy, I really don’t know.’
‘I thought you two were thick as thieves.’
‘We’re friends, I told you that. And that’s why I’m worried about him.’
I edged the Monster past a dray filled with beer barrels, pulled by a large horse that clopped along placidly, ignoring the traffic.
‘Those bodies we just delivered had been buried for days,’ she said. ‘I wonder sometimes how hard they really do look for bodies in the ruins. Levy may have been blown to smithereens. Or he’s lying in the cellar of a bombed building somewhere and is food for rats. Just like the ones we picked up this morning.’
I pulled the ambulance over to the side of the road with a sudden jerk, pushed open the door and ran to the curb, where I emptied my stomach of whatever was in there. Even when my stomach was empty, I was still retching.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jim telephoned me that evening, not long after I arrived home.
When I told him that Levy had not turned up at work, he was not surprised.
‘I thought that might be the case.’ His voice was husky and he seemed to have some trouble catching his breath. ‘I’ve had word that David’s parents haven’t heard from him for the past four days. He came home from the ambulance station on Thursday morning as usual. He had a shower, slept until around three and then went out. He never returned home.’
‘Have they checked the hospitals?’
‘They’re checking everywhere, Lily. They are frantic with worry.’
I was, too.
‘Jim, Mrs Coke, the station officer – she went off on sick leave today. I’m sure it’s because Levy reported her for fraud. She was making threats against him on Friday night. What if she—’
‘Are you suggesting that she has done something to David? That he met with foul play?’
‘It’s not just her. When he caught Knaggs looting Knaggs made threats against him, too.’
‘Honestly Lily, it’s a great deal more likely that he’s a victim of the Blitz.’ He paused and seemed to catch his breath. ‘I’ve made all the enquiries I can.’
‘But—’
‘I’m so sorry, Lily. I just don’t know what else I can do. It’s very concerning that it’s been four days without word from him.’
He sounded exhausted, and I wondered if he was going to tell me, very politely, that he no longer wanted to meet me for dinner. I was too worried about Levy to worry about fine dining, but I wanted to discuss it all with Jim, make him realise that Levy had enemies at the station.
‘Look,’ Jim said at last, ‘I’m longing to see you, but—’ He gave a short, bitter laugh. ‘I hate to admit it, but I’m shattered after just one day of my new duties. Perhaps I’m not as fit as I’d thought. Would you be terribly upset if I put you off? I’d be poor company tonight.’
I forced myself to swallow my disappointment. ‘It’s understandable. You’re only just out of hospital. When do you want to—’
‘And there’s something else. They’re sending me to a place in the country for some training. I’m off tomorrow and I won’t be returning to London until the Friday after next.’
‘Oh.’
‘I’m so sorry, Lily, believe me.’ I believed him, he sounded terribly sorry. ‘I’ll telephone you every night. Nine o’clock on the dot. Will you be there if I call?’
‘Of course.’
‘And we’ll go to dinner as soon as I return.’
‘I’ll look forward to it.’
‘What about the Ritz?’
‘Dinner at the Ritz? I saw the movie – it didn’t end well for the titled suitor.’
‘We’ll make our own ending.’
On Tuesday morning, Moray came into the conference room with a letter he had received from Levy’s father. When he read it to us, it confirmed what I had heard from Jim the evening before, namely that Levy had left home on Thursday afternoon without informing his parents where he was going and he had not been seen since.
Maisie’s eyes became wide as Moray finished reading the letter. ‘Oh, that’s terrible news,’ she whispered. ‘Perhaps he’s got amnesia. He might be in a hospital with no identification and nobody knows who he is.’
Sadler made a snorting noise and I glared at him.
‘If Levy’s not reported for duty by the end of the week I’ll have to arrange a replacement,’ said Moray. ‘In the meantime, Brennan you’re paired with Fripp.’
From the look on Fripp’s face, she felt as happy about that arrangement as I did.
The general consensus in the common room, once Moray had returned to the office, was that Levy was an unidentified air raid victim. I was not so sure.
‘He disappeared on the night they bombed Coventry,’ I said. ‘There were only a few attacks on London that night.’
‘Only
takes one bomb,’ said Sadler.
I turned to the man and regarded him coldly. ‘You told me Levy had been Blitzed in Soho. Why did you say that? Just what do you know about it all?’
His eyes seemed to flicker slightly and he quickly looked down at the cards he was holding, before looking up again.
‘I made it up about Soho, Brennan. There were no raids in Soho that night – I was there with the band in the Red Room like I said, but no bombs fell in the area. I was teasing you, because you was so hysterical about Levy not being here. It was cruel and I’m sorry about it now he’s really gone.’
I couldn’t believe a word the man said, and I decided to find out for myself if any bombs had fallen in Soho that night.
‘And what about your friend,’ I went on, ‘the one in Holborn? You thought he might have hurt Levy.’
He met my gaze steadily this time. ‘Turned out it wasn’t Levy after all. The blighter was there again on Sunday, handing out his bloody pamphlets. He looks like Levy, but it’s not him.’
Something wasn’t right about Sadler’s story, but apart from asking about the Soho bombs, I wasn’t sure how I could take the matter any further.
As the week progressed and there was no word about Levy my fears for him were like a niggling pain that sometimes receded but never entirely disappeared. It grew more difficult each day to keep any hope that he was still alive. In one regard, though, my luck held. The weather was poor. This meant that few raiders appeared over London in the daylight hours, and Fripp and I were rarely in any personal danger as we carried out our duties. In such circumstances Fripp was a competent attendant and I noted with a dull sort of apathy as the days went by that I was becoming used to her. It was nothing like the camaraderie I had shared with Levy, but if we kept our conversation to innocuous subjects, Fripp and I were able to work together comfortably enough.
And, to my surprise, Jim kept his promise and telephoned me each evening at nine. I ignored the smiles from other occupants as I waited outside the small cubicle that housed the building’s telephone, ready to pounce on the receiver at the first ring, because my conversations with Jim had become the high points of my days. Although he couldn’t tell me anything about his duties, he was always interested in hearing about mine and he seemed especially to enjoy the station gossip.
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