by J. S. Finley
Clay looked at Alexis, and she lifted a brow.
“Might as well see how deep of a hole they are digging.”
He felt trapped and wanted to run out, but Alexis was right, it was better they know what was going on.
The door opened and Newman came in with another officer Clay recognized but didn’t know. He shouldn’t have come back from vacation. They were trying to pin a crime on him to get him to shut up, and it sucked.
Alexis’ smile was tight, her eyes narrowed. She straightened her shoulders before she spoke. “Gentlemen, I hope we’re done with this matter about you accusing Officer Simmons of abuse. We all know those claims were manufactured.”
“Not so fast. Clay hit the man in this photo. This is officer Drake, he saw Clay beating the guy up.”
“No, he didn’t,” Clay shouted in his mind. He didn’t say anything, though, since Alexis was putting a death grip on his knee.
Alexis squeezed his knee harder, but there was a smile on her face. For a moment, Clay thought this was what a black widow would look like before she ate her mate if they were human. “Do you have any idea how many ways I can prove Drake is lying? And you present us with a doctored photo? That’s amateur. This isn’t twenty years ago. I’ll subpoena everything from hard drives to your underwear and prove these charges are bogus. Then I’ll bring you up on every ethics and policy violation in the book. Is that really how you want to play this? Because I can play hardball better than any of you ever dreamed of playing it.”
“I want his badge and his gun,” Newman said between clenched teeth.
Clay wanted to tell Newman to go to hell. Instead, he removed his badge. Alexis placed her hand on his and shook her head.
“You don’t have to, Clay.”
“It’s fine.” And it was fine. He felt relieved handing over his badge and gun. He’d been planning on doing so anyway; this just made it easier. Now he could move to Florida knowing he was free from any obligation here.
He handed over his police issued firearm. Sadness seeped through him, making his chest feel hollow. Maybe he wasn’t one hundred percent ready to leave the force, and he certainly wasn’t ready to leave this way, but perhaps this was for the best. Though it had been his dream to be a police officer, it wasn’t to be.
Alexis didn’t stop him after he’d nodded to her that this was okay. It really was, even with the sadness, he knew this was what he was supposed to be doing. Once he was rid of his gun and shield, she placed her hand on his elbow and led him out to the elevator.
13
The elevator door slid closed, and he leaned his head back, resting it against the back wall. “This sucks.”
“Yes, it does. Come on, if they are even thinking of pressing forward with this, I should get an email. Maybe they’ll drop their claims. I really wish you wouldn’t have given them your badge and gun.”
“I was going to leave anyway.”
“Do they know that?”
He shook his head. “No, there’s no way they could have known.”
The elevator doors opened, Alexis stepped off, and he followed. They were silent on the way to her office. Two officers passed them and scowled. Word had spread, and he was going to go down hard for this.
Alexis shut her office door and took a seat behind her desk. “I’ll pull up my email, and we can talk after I see if they are pressing forward with this.”
Clay massaged his temples as Alexis stared at her computer. It didn’t take long for her to shrug and shake her head.
“Nothing. They’ve sent nothing. I’m going to have to get on Newman’s ass to send what he’s got so far.”
His stomach twisted. “Okay. I don’t like this at all.”
“Neither do I.”
Alexis typed furiously on her computer then pressed the enter key and slapped her hands together. Clay felt helpless as he sat in the chair watching her do everything. He was an action kind of guy, and sitting here doing nothing felt wrong.
“So while you’re on this bogus administrative leave, hang tight at home. This will only take a few days to clear up. They don’t have anything, and Newman was being a jerk.”
“Okay. I don’t want to stay with the department.”
“That’s fine. But you need to quit on your own terms. This taking your badge bullshit? It’s wrong. I’m going to make sure your record is clean before you leave.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. This is my job.”
“I really appreciate it. I mean, if I didn’t have someone like you, I could be in jail.”
“It’s what I’m paid to do.” Alexis was scrolling through something on her computer. “Okay, so one reason I know this is doctored, they didn’t leak anything to the media. If they had, it would be all over the place. Which means, they don’t really have anything.”
He shook his head, angry at the way the world operated now. “So, what if I found out the two officers who were killed a couple of weeks ago—what if I knew something was wrong with that?”
She looked at him from behind her computer. “What do you think happened?”
“I think they were shot by another officer. The gun in evidence that was found on the dude they have in lockup, it would have blown off the back half of their skulls.”
“Maybe this is something we could bring up.” Alexis tapped a pen to her lips, her eyes unfocused. “Or you could just walk away.”
“They are putting good officers at risk.”
“I’m sure they are, and I’m sure they know it. If it comes out the two officers who died were killed because someone on the force shot him in the back, heads will roll. But that’s a huge fight. Are you sure you want to get into that?
“I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Expect this to take a couple of weeks. Go home, get some rest, play some video games and chill. Hang out with friends, but don’t do anything wild. Don’t go anywhere either. I mean, if you head to D.C. that’s fine, but don’t leave the area.”
“Sure.” He didn’t know what he would do. His job was effectively gone, and his character tarnished. Part of him wanted to fight, the other part wanted to tell them to go to hell and run to Thomas.
Clay left the station and headed to his apartment. He sat in his car, staring at his front door. It took him a minute, but he made his way inside and plopped down on the couch. The TV was off, no radio going, so the sounds of the complex were his only companions.
He should text someone, maybe call Thomas, but he was on a fishing trip working. This was what alone felt like. He’d experienced this after leaving the Marines. He could have stayed in the service, but he was sure he’d be dead by now if he had.
Clay jerked awake, his heart hammering. Had someone knocked? He stood and pushed open the curtains a few inches, staring out at the walkway to his front door. There was no one. His gaze slid over the cars in the parking lot and he paused on one that held two men. Did those guys live here? Paranoia had a stranglehold on him. No one was watching his place.
He closed the curtains and moved to the kitchen. Before work, he’d eaten, but not much. He had no bread, but he did have eggs. He ate standing up in his kitchen, wondering why he’d returned from Florida.
The day stretched on and depression held him. At three in the afternoon, Thomas called. He answered, his voice tinged with the sadness and pain he’d gone through today.
“Hello.” Clay sucked in a breath after he spoke, trying not to let a sob escape.
“I’ve missed you. I didn’t think you’d answer and I’d be leaving a message, but I’m so glad you did. How was your day?”
“Um, it was…rough.” His throat squeezed, and his head started to pound.
“What does that mean?”
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell Thomas everything. But they were in a relationship, and this was his friend too. “Well, I gave them my badge. I guess it means I’m off the force. There’s this investigation, but it’s bogus. My union rep doesn’t want me
to leave. I think I’m still under suspicion, although the photo they have of the arrest is bogus. I don’t know, Thomas. All I know is it sucks.”
Thomas was silent for a long moment. “Do you need me to come up there?”
“No, you have to work. I’ll get it sorted.”
More silence hung between them, and he wondered if he’d said something wrong. He was about to say something when Thomas spoke.
“You know I have your back. Seriously, do you need something? Anything? I can get my guy to take my trips. Really, you’re important to me.”
His eyes burned, and he had to grit his teeth to keep from breaking down. After the first wave of emotions passed, he blew out a breath and shook off the despair. “I’m fine. I—just give me a few days, and I’ll know more. I mean, I don’t want to stay here, but I don’t want to leave like this.”
“Okay, you’d tell me if you needed anything, right?”
“Yeah. Are you done for the day?”
“No, I have another charter to take out. Someone who has used my business before wants to do a sunset cruise with his wife and kids. He didn’t want the normal experience, and I told him I wasn’t really set up for that, but he’s paying good money. I have to clean the boat and get set.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to you later then.”
“Hey, Clay, I love you.”
A sob caught in his throat. He could be in Florida, kissing Thomas goodbye before he went off on another job bringing joy to others. That’s what he wanted. He hated being seen as the bad guy in the community. But he got it. There were bad guys on the force, but it wasn’t the majority.
After telling Thomas he loved him, he hung up and opened his refrigerator. It was basically empty. He needed to head to the store and pick up some stuff. He brushed his teeth before heading out. Once in the parking lot he got in his truck and pulled out. His eye caught on something at the back end of the lot…a car…he’d seen movement, or had he?
Clay pushed away the paranoia and headed to the store to get food. On the way there, he realized he was hungrier than he’d first thought. He stopped for a burger and sat in the fast food joint, eating instead of grabbing it to go. Maybe he could do something in Florida that gave people happiness, but he didn’t want to run a fishing charter like Thomas; that wasn’t his passion. He didn’t know what his passion was.
He sat for a long while after finishing his meal. People came through, some nice, other’s terrible. From his time on the force, he’d seen all kinds of people. He could do some good as a cop, but his heart wasn’t in it any longer.
Once home, he grabbed his things and headed to his front door. A strange feeling tickled the back of his neck, and he turned, staring out at the lot. The car that had been at the far end had moved. He didn’t see anyone inside but wondered if he should look. Would they send someone to watch him?
He shook it off. No way would they have someone watching his movements. Paranoia was getting to him. After putting up the groceries, he parked himself in front of the TV. After two hours of mindless watching, he was bored. Thomas was probably still on his charter since the sun was just setting.
He moved to the window and pushed the curtains open, staring out at the lot. Movement caught his eye, but it was just a woman who lived a few doors down. The car he’d seen earlier, which he thought didn’t belong, wasn’t in the lot.
No question now, he was being dumb. He needed to wash his clothes from the trip. It would give him something to do while he waited for Thomas to get off work.
Clay gathered his clothes and headed to the laundry room. Once he started the washer, he stepped out of the small, cramped room and walked around, thinking about his situation. Maybe he could resign and move to Florida. He would shut up about the two men who had been killed in the line of duty and just walk away. But that wasn’t him. He couldn’t allow this to be swept under the rug. He wasn’t the type of guy who shirked his responsibilities.
He walked to the other side of the complex and stopped cold as he rounded the corner. There was just enough light to see two guys sitting in the same car that had been parked on the other side of the lot. What were they doing? All day sitting in the same car. Did they live here?
His breath caught in his throat. What were those guys doing here? They hadn’t seen him, had they? He backed up slowly, wondering who he should call, if anyone. Maybe it wasn’t about him. They could just be hanging out, maybe visiting a friend. They didn’t have to be spying on him.
Clay headed back to the laundry room, worried that he was beginning to be so paranoid that he saw issues where there weren’t any.
His clothes had about ten minutes left in the washer. He stared at the washing machine, wondering how his life had gotten so screwed up. He’d only wanted to help, but now his life was possibly in danger, and he was about to get fired from his job. He needed to call Alexis and tell her he just wanted to resign. Maybe they’d forget everything if he walked away.
The washer stopped rumbling and spun to a stop. He switched everything over to the dryer and then waited for it to be done as he flipped though news articles on his phone, reading some, but losing the information as soon as he read it. The sun had long since set, and he wondered what Thomas was doing. He needed to see his man. God, who would have thought he would be with a guy; how crazy was that?
The dryer buzzed, and he pulled his clothes out. He was on his way back to his apartment when his phone rang. He put down his clothesbasket and answered.
“Hello.”
“Hey, I had a long day. I missed you.”
Tears burned his eyes. He was too emotional where Thomas was concerned. The man just brought it to the surface for him.
“Hey, how was your last customer?”
“It was great. They’re a nice family. The son is going into the Marines this year. They wanted a last goodbye trip before he started his life serving his country.”
“That sounds nice.”
“It really was. They were good to be around. How are you?”
“Fine. I know you’re tired.”
“A little, but I want to make sure you’re okay.”
Did he tell anyone about his paranoia, or would he sound like he was losing it? He wasn’t that important for someone to sit in a parking lot and watch his every move. “Yeah, I’m good. Tell me more about your fishing trips.” Clay picked up his clothesbasket to make his way back to his place. Thomas wasn’t talking, and he worried that he’d killed the mood. “Really, I’m fine.”
Thomas cleared his throat. “I don’t believe that.”
“I am. Tell me more about your trips. I want to hear.”
Thomas sighed. “It was nice out today. The weather was perfect. I think everyone had a good time. You know, sometimes people come out and they don’t know what to expect.”
Thomas continued talking, and Clay grabbed his headset so he could listen and fold his clothes. He tried to keep the conversation light and not dwell on his day or his weird suspicions.
When he hung up, he worried that maybe he should have said something about the guys in the lot. But that had to be a coincidence. In the morning, he’d talk to Thomas about his fears.
Sleep was hard to find, and he finally drifted off after midnight. When he woke, he grabbed his phone, making sure Thomas hadn’t texted him. It was still early, and Thomas didn’t have to work, so he would probably sleep late.
Clay got up and decided to head for a jog. He pulled on his shorts and then brushed his teeth. He grabbed his phone at the last minute, deciding to stop by Starbucks after he finished.
The air was surprisingly cool, and he took the time to twist down streets, running a few extra miles. When he was near his apartment, he stopped by a Starbucks and grabbed a sandwich and coffee. In the middle of his meal, he received a text from Thomas and smiled. Even with all the crap in the department, life wasn’t too bad.
His phone rang, and he answered. “Hey good looking,” Clay said.
“Mmm, you’re
so freaking sexy. I just want to lick you from your cock all the way up to your neck then back down again.”
Clay choked and glanced around. “Um, yeah.”
“Are you with someone?”
“I’m at Starbucks getting breakfast.”
“Oh goodness. I had no idea you were in public. What if I talked about how hard my cock was?”
“Good Lord.” Clay grabbed his coffee and stood then reached for the rest of his sandwich.
“A little uncomfortable.”
“It’s a little hard.”
Thomas chuckled. “Only a little?”
Clay laughed before taking a bite of his food. “You’re incorrigible.”
“What I am is a guy sitting in my back yard wondering what I have to do to convince you to move in with me.”
Clay sobered fast. “Um, it might happen faster than you think.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You’ve got to give me more than just an ‘I’m fine’. Tell me everything. I know I was rushed last time we talked. Were there any more developments?”
Clay sighed. “I don’t really know. It’s complicated.”
“Well, I’m a smart guy and can handle it.”
“That’s not it,” Clay spit back, anger coloring his thoughts.
Thomas sighed. “What is it?”
“I don’t…I can’t…I feel like a failure.”
“Wait, what?”
He was doing a shitty job of explaining this. He did feel like a failure, but there was more. When he’d told that guy about his suspicions, he’d fucked up. Now he was having to deal with everything all at once, and he was failing.
“Clay, I can’t hear the thoughts in your head. You have to speak to me.”
“I’m sorry. It’s so complicated. So I told you a little of what happened. Then when I got back, they hit me with a doctored photo. My union rep was great. I feel shell-shocked. Like I have no control over the situation. I’m not stupid, and I’m not a bad guy. Thomas, they are accusing me of something that could mean I end up in jail. I didn’t do it, and I don’t know what to do. If I lose this job, does that mean I can’t hack it? Am I a failure?”