by Carl Leckey
Finding your vehicle ready to move patients first thing next day was a Godsend. When I heard the clerk fellow talking about it, I stole some items from the laundry and sneaked aboard. The rest was easy after that I simply mixed with the others as they arrived. Everyone assumes I’m one of the patients because I dress similar.
As for the reason I escaped, do you remember the MP’s bringing in a wounded German intelligence Officer?”
“Yes I do remember, the bloody MPs made me leave some of our casualties behind because of him.” I reply mystified.
“Yes. Well. It’s the MPs and your intelligence people I’m running away from. They wanted me to befriend the man, pump him for information and report it back to them. Poor fellow is a very sick man with a terrible bowel wound. Also he is suffering from shell shock, but the evil swine won’t let him have any peace.
They have been questioning him day and night since you brought him in, to no avail. That’s why they came up with the idea of using me. Do you recall when I gave my parole to Black Mac? I said I wouldn’t do anything like that, do you remember as you were present at the time I think?”
I did remember, only too clearly that day in the farmhouse but it did not solve my immediate problem. Time ticked on any minute now the passengers would be arriving to board the charabanc.
“I don’t know what to do with you Oscar I don’t want to turn you in but if I don’t and you are captured I’ll be up for a court marshal for sure.”
He answers. “Look! My friend Scouse, I won’t implicate you in any way if I am taken you can trust me to keep my word of honour. You are going to Le Havre I believe?” I acknowledge that fact.
“I have friends there from before the war they will hide and protect me I promise. Please let me ride with you I beg of you.”
“What about the way you are dressed?” Oscar’s clothes consisted of the usual dressing gown and pyjamas issued to the wounded.
“How do you think you can walk about Le Havre in that get up, especially without identity papers?”
He undid his clothing to reveal a civilian suite shirt and tie.
“I have a pair of shoes also.” He reveals
“Where the bloody Hell did you get that gear?” I ask in amazement.
“I was a bit naughty there, my friend.” Oscar answers shamefaced.
“I’m afraid I had to trade one of your dead sheep with the French to get the clothing.”
I have to smile at his initiative, but what will the cook Sergeant think of me I wonder? Twice he will feel I have let him down. Considering all the good things he has done for me it’s my turn to feel ashamed.
The doors to the Chateau open, I make an instant decision hoping I do not live to regret it.
“Put your bandages on again and pretend you’re asleep, we may be able to get away with it, but if you’re captured I have not seen you right?”
He agrees as he hurriedly slips the camouflage bandages on his head and lies down on the back seat. I cover him with the red blankets we carry for the patient’s comfort.
Billy hands me the patient’s cases and kit bags, I deliberately load them towards the rear of the charabanc to keep the patients away from Oscar. Billy helps the passengers aboard and joins me in the cab.
Seated up front in the first row behind us, one of the passengers identifies himself as a male nurse he is a member of the hospital staff recovering from pneumonia.
The man has travelled back and to from Le Havre, constantly attending the wounded. When I tell him this is my first trip to the port, he generously offers to guide me to the ferry terminal at the docks. I must admit I am apprehensive about travelling on an unfamiliar route, especially with Oscar aboard.
With anxiety, I remember MPs I observed when we first landed in France, especially the incident when they dragged the poor man off the ships gangway screaming and crying.
The Sergeant hands me the paperwork and passes and wishes us good luck, I respond with a farewell toot on the horn, and we are on our way.
On arrival at the main gate the MP scans my papers and counts heads.
“Off to Le Havre I see driver? You best make sure all your paper work and the head count are in perfect order when you get to the docks. The MPs are shit hot there. It’s surprising how many silly bloody deserters think if they make it that far they are just about home and dry. The silly sods seem to forget the English Channel is between France and blighty.”
With that depressing statement he cheerily waves me on my way.
My mind is already in a mad turmoil when I leave, what am I going to do when I reach the docks? Where am I going to hide Oscar? How will I account for the extra passenger?
Billy lightens my mood slightly when he whispers.
“You know them two sheep you promised to the Sarg?” I nod.
“Well some bugger had only whipped one when I came to get them for the cook, I bet it was one of them Froggies what do you reckon?”
“Oh! I think you’re about right.” I answer. “I bet the French have got the bloody sheep, what did the Sarg say about it by the way?” Billy replies. “He isn’t that bothered, he intended giving one of them to the Frogs anyway. The poor bugger just wants to know where his interpreter is. You know the one that you promised him?”
I find myself blushing as I answer with a lie.
“I’ll have to make it up to him when we get back. I couldn’t find that fella anywhere.”
The guide leans over and directs me on a short cut to avoid heavy traffic. Billy asks him. “You know Le Havre pretty well then?”
“I’ve been there hundreds of times.” He replies smugly. “Why?”
Billy coughs discretely.
“You’ll know where the brothels are then, they are down by the docks I’m told?”
“Course I bloody do, my mate and I took turns nipping for a quickie when we did drops and pickups there.”
This interested me I saw a light on the horizon.
“Erm, are you feeling a bit randy eh Billy?”
“Not half Scouse.” He responds while making an obscene gesture, to the amusement of the male nurse.
“Fancy me dropping you off before we go through the dock gate Billy. I can pick you up on the way back?”
Our informative passenger intercedes before Billy answers.
“You doing a pick up at the terminal, are your passengers arriving on the twelve o’clock ferry?”
“Yes, replacement staff I believe.
“Well there’s good news for you lads, the MPs won’t let you remain in the docks after you drop us lot off, you’ll have to take your vehicle to a parking area outside the docks.”
He turns to Billy. “That’s where the best knocking shop in Le Havre is located.” Turning back to me he instructs,
“Just park where the MPs order, they will organise your passengers for you. I wouldn’t mind going for a quickie myself, but I’m going home to the wife, wouldn’t want to take something extra for her though. Know what I mean?’ He and Billy roar with laughter.”
I’m afraid I haven’t a clue what they think is so funny, I am very lacking in the ways of the world.
As we approach the channel port, the guide assists me with my dilemma again. “We are running very early driver, there are latrines up ahead. The regular drivers usually stop there to give the lads a chance to empty out. They will appreciate a chance to stretch their legs before we get to the docks. When we approach the ferry terminal I’ll guide you passed the place where you will have to park and wait for your passengers.”
He taps Billy on the shoulder. “I’ll show you the little house of dreams you were asking about you randy sod, there’s a cracking Russian whore in there, she’ll sort you out.” He laughs as Billy pulls a lustful face.
I stop at the latrines as he suggests. The passengers gratefully clamber out Billy goes also to keep an eye on them. While they are away I climb into the rear to put Oscar in the picture with the plan I have conceived considering the information th
e passengers have given me. After dropping Billy at the brothel I will invite the male nurse to ride in the passenger seat and guide me to the ferry. Before entering the docks Oscar is to take off his bandages and sit up for the head count at the MP post. I’m praying my illegal stow away will be unseen by the other passengers as he is seated at the extreme rear When I have completed unloading Oscar will join me in the front of the charabanc acting as my second man wearing Billy’s great coat over his civilian clothes.
“Keep a bandage on your head to cover your lack of hat that should do. Oscar I must stress this, from the minute you assume the role as a British soldier we are extremely vulnerable. I won’t be able to pretend I know nothing of your presence the both of us could be shot. You for breaking your parole and I will guilty of aiding you to escape.”
Oscar grasps my hand whilst stressing how much he appreciated the risk I am taking on his behalf. Slightly embarrassed I continue explaining the plan.
When we clear the docks I will proceed to the parking area to pick up Billy. Oscar will change into his civvies and find his friends hopefully before Billy returns.
“That sounds alright to me Scouse, give me a toot on the horn when you want me to sit up.” Oscar coolly responds.
He hides under the blankets when I signal the passengers are about to return.
What a blessing I have my knowledgeable passenger aboard and he guides me through back streets to avoid the heavy traffic. Despite having driven through shell fire, and been machine gunned from an aeroplane, the narrow streets and congested traffic made me much more nervous.
As I approach the docks, my stomach knots with tension. Billy being Billy has already spent all of his money soon after pay parade.
He borrows money from me before disembarking for his sexual adventure when we finally arrive at the parking area.
The guide points out the large house used as a brothel since the beginning of the war. Billy drops off and heads towards the House of Love accompanied by shouts of approval from the passengers. The guide goes along with the plot and joins me in the front seat wearing Billy’s great coat and a cap borrowed from one of the patients.
The rest of the lads actively join in the ploy convinced it is only concocted to give Billy time in the brothel. I toot the horn, supposedly to wish him well, but really to alert Oscar before joining the line of vehicles waiting to gain entry to the ferry terminal.
I inch forward, until finally my turn came to enter the gates, controlling my shaking hands I grip the steering wheel until my knuckles are white.
I have not been this scared since my baptism of fire when we were hit by shellfire at the ruined church.
Just when my nerves were at screaming point, my guardian Angel intercedes on my behalf yet again.
The MP on duty recognises my guide.
“Hiya Ted, I like the new transport.” He scans the papers I hand him.
“You lucky bugger, are you going home on leave then, did you get a chance for a quickie at Le maison d’amour, with that big Russian whore you fancy? Ha-ha’!” Ted grins.
“I’ve been ill you horny bugger, haven’t got the energy to cope with her at the moment, but I’ll be back after I’ve been on sick leave.”
More ribald remarks pass back and forth between them, as the MP counts heads. “Well, have a good leave Ted give my love to your Misses, I’ll give mine to the Russian bitch while you’re away Ha, ha. See you soon pal.”
Addressing me he instructs. “Off you go driver. Ted! Save me having to repeat it for the thousandth time, explain about the parking will you?”
Ted acknowledges with a wave as we move forward. When we arrive at the gangway Ted shakes my hand and offers me some advice.
“Tom isn’t too bad for an MP. I went to school with him. Here’s a bit of info for you Scouse, you don’t have to leave through the same gate, Tom won’t be there to question you about your second man. Make sure you don’t have anything on board that may get you into trouble, understand? They do random thorough searches, good luck Scouse?”
He indicates the way I should go to exit the crowded docks.
Did he know about Oscar’s presence on board, or is he just concerned about Billy’s absence? Well it’s too late to worry now its shit or bust for the two of us if we are caught. I drive the vehicle away from the gangway and park behind a warehouse out of sight from prying eyes.
Oscar joins me in the front seats with a bandage arranged around the top of his head as I suggested. It is certainly my lucky day; the docks are so congested with incoming ordinance and supplies, the MP’s waves me through the exit with a cursory examination of the papers after his mate completes a hurried walk through of the passenger compartment.
As I drive passed the railway-marshalling yard Oscar points out the hundreds of German prisoners being unloaded from cattle trucks.
“Just think Scouse they are headed to your home land away from the bloody war and you are stuck here for God knows how long?”
My jangling nerves have relaxed since I cleared what I considered the last obstacle, the dock gates.
I respond by saying. “Just think Oscar my old mate, a couple of hundred yards from here and you could be in the company of your fellow countrymen.”
Oscar shudders as he spells out what kind of reception he would receive from his fellow countrymen as a deserter.
The parking area has filled up since I passed earlier but after driving around a few times I find a place to park as a supply wagon leaves.
With horror I notice MPs working their way towards me checking papers, personnel, and goods carried in the vehicles. I nudge Oscar and point them out, he strips off the bandage and great coat crams a battered Trilby on his head then squeezes his feet into the shoes that are evidently too small for him.
“I’m going now Scouse my friend, in case they are coming our way. Thank you for all your friendship and help, no words can express my true gratitude I feel, you have certainly saved my miserable life. I want you to have this.”
He thrusts a bundle of bandages in my hand and slips out of the cab. It all happened so quickly that it takes me by surprise. I sit looking at the bundle of dirty bandages astounded that he should reward me in such a manner, not that I wanted anything anyway.
I am about to cast them out of the cab in disgust when I feel something hard inside. I unwrap the covering and there glittering in the sunlight is a beautiful gold pocket watch. I look around hoping to spot him and thank him for his generosity but he has already gone. I sit toying with the handsome watch for a while then I flick open the cover, on the back cover I discover an inscription that reads.
Presented to Oscar Heidling. Nineteen hundred and twelve by the British N C F movement.
His actions really touched me such generosity, I have never possessed such an expensive article in my whole life.
I’m dragged out of my daydream by the noise of the MPs as they begin searching the next vehicle to mine. For some reason I hurriedly conceal Oscars watch and begin sorting out my paper work in anticipation of their visit. There is no sign of Billy and it is nearly midday as the MPs arrive at Pompey Lill. One of them the Corporal stands in front of the charabanc checking my numbers against a list he has fastened to a clipboard.
“Here’s the one Sergeant.” He calls to his partner as he begins to climb aboard, my blood freezes as I hand him my papers.
“Where’s your partner? It says here the crew of this vehicle is two.”
I stutter the first thing that comes to mind. “Got took short Corporal with a gyppy gut, he’s gone for a shit over there.”
I point vaguely in the direction of the brothel as the Sergeant moves around to the front to the cab.
“He’s gone for a bloody good shag, not a shit you lying sod. I bet if we go over to the house of love we’ll find the perverted bastard in there trying to get it up for one of the whores.” He thunders at me.
I pray, Guardian Angel if you’re not doing anything at the moment get me out of thi
s fix please.
He looks in the passenger seat. “What’s all this then?”
He pokes the bundle of dirty blood stained bandages with his swagger stick just as Billy appears behind him holding his stomach. I suspect the bugger has been listening to the MPs questioning me from between a row of trucks parked behind the Sergeant.
Relief sweeps over me as I spot him. “Here’s my partner now Sarg.”
The Sergeant moves away from the cab as Billy reaches in the passenger side and picks up the bandages. “I forgot these.”
He explains as he turns to the Sergeant. “I’ve got bleedin piles you see Sergeant, or dysentery. I use these to pad my arse. Oh shit! These cramps are bloody murder.” Billy doubles up so convincingly he takes me in.
The Sergeant gives him a disgusted glare. The Corporal grins at Billy’s discomfort and reveals their interest in my vehicle.
“You waiting for passengers coming off the twelve o’clock cross channel ain’t you?”
I reply. “Yes Corporal.” He snarls. “Well they ain’t going to make it, the boat has a full complement and they have been ordered to come on the boat at six o’clock in the morning. You are to stay here and wait for them. Here’s your new orders. They are issued by the movement control Officer for this area. His office is over by the gate, if they don’t turn up in the morning you best go and see him. We are fed up running after you lazy sods while you sit on your fat arses.”
He hands my papers back with amendments pinned to them.
Billy let out another groan and dives behind the trucks, the unfeeling MPs move off laughing at his discomfort.
I shout. “Are you alright Bill?”