She gives me a small unsure smile and reaches out to rub my fingers between hers.
Not nearly good enough.
“Listen to me, please? All those women? There wasn’t a single one of them that could even hold a candle to you. They all pale in comparison. I never spent more than a few hours with any of them because I didn’t want to. I didn’t even let them spend the whole night with me, I always made them leave, or I left them before morning. You? I don’t ever want to leave you. When you were gone today I was an anxious mess. Ask Cash, he gave me shit for it the whole time.” I manage to smirk thinking about how much he ragged on me. Her smile reaches her eyes this time, so I keep going. I’m not nearly done.
“I felt like half of me walked out the door when you went shopping. I knew you were coming back, but it didn’t stop that hollow feeling in my chest from gnawing at me for hours. That only vanished when I saw you walking back through the door. When you’re near me, when you touch me, I feel whole. I never knew I wasn’t until finding you. I never loved anyone other than my family before you came along either. I feel like I finally have a home again when I’m in your arms, like I am home. That’s not because I’m living in this house with you right now either. You are my home. I love you, Ellie. I meant it when I said it earlier tonight and every time I’ve said it since. I loved you before I even said it. My heart is yours. One hundred percent. Now and forever if you want it.”
“Nik,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears.
I wipe one away and brush her soft cheek with my fingertips. “I was willing to give my life for yours when I barely knew you. Now? I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
“Nik, no,” she whimpers.
“I would, Ellie. I would give everything I have if you needed or wanted it–my life, my soul, anything. I’m pretty sure that’s love, if it’s not, I don’t know what is. Either way, it’s all I’ve got, and it’s yours.”
Her tears are really flowing now. I tug at her arm, and she quickly fits herself sideways between my legs and up against my chest, her head tucked under my chin. I hold her and stroke her hair, letting her cry if she needs to. We have had one hell of a night after all. I don’t think I’ve ever been through so many different intense emotions in such a short period of time. I’m amazed I’m not exhausted.
She wipes at her face and sniffles. “You know you can’t have it both ways. You can’t swear to never leave me, and then an hour later say you’ll die for me. Please don’t ever say that to me again,” she begs quietly.
I rock her and kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to hurt you, but I couldn’t have you doubting me.”
She leans her head back to look up at me and reaches to cup my cheek. “I had very little to start with, sweetie. It’s gone now, I promise.”
I kiss her forehead. “Thank you,” I whisper, then look down at her sweet face. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, you can.”
“You told me how you figured out what was wrong with me, but how did you know about my past to start with?” I probably shouldn’t bring it up again, but I’m curious.
“Cash.”
“I’m gonna kill him.”
“No, you’re not,” she fusses with a grin, reaching over and pinching my left nipple.
I raise my eyebrows at her. She giggles and rubs her fingertips over it quickly as if to soothe it of her offense.
“Not helping,” I tease her, pumping my hips–and hardening dick–up against her naked hip.
She didn’t put any panties on with her t-shirt. With some minor adjustments of our positions I could be inside her again. Her eyes darken and she swallows, then shakes it off.
“I overheard him that first night at the hospital. He didn’t outright tell me. He thought I was one of them trying to con my way into your life and money.”
I sigh. “Yeah, he told me his crazy theory, but not about you overhearing it. I’m sorry you had to find out that way, and that it wasn’t me that told you. I’m mostly sorry there were any to tell you about in the first place.”
She strokes my cheek again. “Hey, I already told you they don’t matter to me, okay? Stop feeling guilty. If they wanted it as much as you did, you didn’t do anything wrong. And look at it this way, you get to teach this nearly virginal country bumpkin all kinds of stuff. I, for one, am looking forward to my lessons,” she grins and waggles her eyebrows.
I throw my head back and laugh loud and long.
She’s so fucking perfect.
She’s still giggling when I smile back down at her. I pull her face up to mine, rubbing my nose over hers. “I love you, you perfect woman,” I tell her before crashing my lips into hers and sweeping my tongue deep into her mouth. She moans, kissing me back for all she’s worth, making everything between my heart and nuts go all warm and tingly.
“I love you, too,” she pants, when I finally release her, then she rubs her hip against my now very hard dick. “Why don’t we go get in the shower, and get even dirtier then I can wash you all clean,” she purrs.
“That sounds wonderful, but there’s something else I need to ask you.” It’s been nagging at me all week, and she’s in a great mood so... Maybe if I ask now, I can keep our happy streak going. We’ve talked about a lot of things tonight, and they’ve all turned out okay so far.
“Okay, ask away.”
“Let’s lay down a minute.”
She flops over to her side of the bed and snuggles down, waiting for me. I scoot back then roll to my side to face her.
“Well, are you gonna ask me or not, silly? I’m ready to get all this sticky washed off.”
“Yeah. Umm....tonight, when you cried? After I—”
“When I had my after-orgasm meltdown you mean?” she asks, smiling and rolling her eyes.
“Yeah. You were...saying things. I couldn’t understand most of it, but I caught a few words. I’ve heard you say them before. When you have nightmares.” Her smile disappears, but I’ve gone this far, I have to ask. “Ellie, who’s Lucas?”
She goes perfectly still, eyes wide and unblinking. I watch as the rosy flush that has colored her cheeks all night drains from her face, leaving her pale, milky skin behind. If I didn’t know better I would swear she just died.
My heart’s in my throat. “Ellie?” I whisper, reaching for her.
Right before I touch her, she rolls over, avoiding me, then gets up and goes over to the chair in the corner. Pulling her robe off it, she slips it on, then walks towards the door.
This is it. I feared half the night she would walk away from me, and now she is because I couldn’t keep my damn mouth shut.
I sit up, moving off the bed to go after her. “Ellie? Please. I’m sorry. I just wanted to...”
She stops, keeping her focus only on the floor as if she’s waiting to jump, or to fall right through it. I’m frozen, my heart like a boulder resting at the bottom of my stomach. She looks up, staring through me, her eyes void of any emotion. Eyes like the dead.
“Lucas was my son.”
To be continued in…
Heal Me
Book 2 of
The Magnolia Series
Fall 2017
Acknowledgement
The list is long. So many people made this book possible, some who aren’t even aware it exists. Each and every one of them have a piece of my heart though. I hope you found them in the pages you just read.
Here are just a few:
Connie, you were the one who started it all, the day you put that first romance novel in my hand so many years ago. Thank you! For that, and for teaching me what grace is all about. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.
And in no particular order–Rach, Barb, Jo, Vera, Miss Buffy, Lorrayne, Alla, all you wonderful ladies over on WordPress, my fantastic beta team, all the fabulous book bloggers, and of course my family.
Love you all!!!
About the Author
Born and raised in the deep south, Ale
xandra Page believes in staying close to her roots. She lives in Georgia on the family farm with her husband of twenty-four years and their teenage daughter and son, where she began her writing journey.
A bit of an introvert, you’ll most likely find her happily tucked away at home with her music, laptop, and an ice-cold glass of sweet tea weaving together the stories that have filled her mind since childhood. As a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic, those stories always have happy endings no matter the angst they may contain.
When she’s not busy writing, or she doesn’t have her hands full being a wife and mother to her favorite people, she loves doing anything creative she can get her hands on, including cake decorating, refinishing furniture, graphic design, and photography.
Alexandra enjoys getting to know her readers and other fellow writers. Drop by and say hello on any of her social media accounts.
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